Chapter 4 Ignorance is bliss

I drove to school in a daze, my mind kept replaying back to that scene in front of my car. What was happening. Was he going to kiss me? There is no way, I didn't even know him and despite that, why would he want to kiss me. This guy looked like a walking model, and well I'm just Jessica. A book worm. I frowned on the inside and convinced myself I was just imaging things. I've read to many romance novels. People don't fall in love with strangers And kiss them the first day they officially meet them. Those things only happen in books and weird scripted movies. It's all writing.

It's not real life. It's just writing I kept telling myself. I pulled into the school parking lot, parked my car and stared at the window. But what if he wanted to kiss me? What would it of felt like to have his lips on mine? How would it of felt feeling his strong arms wrap around my waist and pull me closer? I chuckled and shook my head trying to clear my mind of those thoughts. I've never even kissed a guy. Hell I've never even had a boyfriend. I don't know why a guy has handsome as Demetrius even be attracted to me.

But I couldn't stop thinking about how he's the first guy to ever officially catch my attention. The first guy to make me feel like I couldn't move. The first guy to make me feel things I've never even thought were possible. I always though I was just broken, or that love wasn't for me. Ha love, my Mind is being crazy. Love is a fairytale, and fairytales only happen in writing. I mean my parents got a divorce after 25 years. And they are absolutely miserable. They hate each other despite the act they put in front of Nathan and I. If that's love, no thank you. That's not for me. I'll gladly stick to my books. I'd rather go through my whole life not knowing what that feels like if that is love. Not knowing is comforting. Not having To worry about getting your heart broken is safer then trying to love with all you have just for the other person to wake up and realize they don't want to be with you anymore. Love is the biggest lie of them all.

I barely heard the bell ring, I pulled myself from my thoughts and climbed out of the car and to get my bag from the back. I starting walking towards school and my mind wandered back to Demetrius, thinking of his eyes, I felt like they could see into my soul. I could get lost in the sea of green that are his eyes. I heard the warning bell meaning we had two minutes before classes started. I groaned and picked up my pace. I vowed to do what I needed to do to make myself happy here in California for the sake of my mom and Demetrius was not that answer. That was going to end in a disaster. No matter what I had to do, I could not let these feelings prosper. I could not let myself imagine what it would be like to kissed by him, to feel his arms wrapped around me. To be engulfed in his scent. No no no I had to stop. I opened the door to my class a little harder then I expected to and all eyes turned to me and the room quited down, blushed creeped up to my cheeks and I looked down closing the door behind me and quickly finding my seat. As I got settled down into my desk I looked up and found those same piercing green eyes staring at me. I quickly looked away and focused on the front. You have got to be kidding me.