Chapter 2 Moving on

They died on their way to my recital. On their way to watch me perform for the most prestigious college scout in the USA. They died because of me. The reports state that they lost control of their speeding vehicle and crashed into a large highway pole. The police said that they were driving so fast that they died on impact and there was no time for suffering. Their bodies were so severely burned that there was no burial; instead they were cremated. We still had a wake for them as well as a celebration of life with some of our closest friends.

I remember staring at the Urns and becoming more angry at myself for letting this happen. Maybe If I hadn't of rushed them they would have been able to make it safely. After the Wake it was time to being moving on; begin getting over my tragic loss and become an adult. My Uncle Chris decided to keep their remains in his house in Wallace, Idaho. That is also where I'll be living and attending school for the rest of my senior year.

If you think Wallace sounds like a small town with a whole bunch of nothing going on, then your absolutely correct. The most that has ever happened in this town was back in the 90's when movie about a dormant volcano erupting was filmed here. My uncle tried to throw that in as a way to make the move exciting or something but nothing can make this move exciting. Mainly because it wasn't my first choice. Due to my lack of family and not being of the age of consent, I was forced to move in with the person my parents deemed most fit to raise me, according to their will. Don't get me wrong, I love my uncle but living in such a small town is definitely a setting for lots of drama, especially when it comes to schooling. Small town + small groups of friends + tight clicks equals No room for the new girl

Interstate 90 is a long and quiet highway surrounded by trees and mountains. It seemed as if we were going to just keep driving until we finally veered off the highway and into an exit. I could do nothing but shake my head as the exit of the highway landed smack dab in the middle of the town I will be calling home. "Welcome To Historic Wallace" The sign read as we drove by it into the city. Historic? Right... The towns small buildings and old fashion architecture surrounded us on both sides of the road and were filled with people who began to wave at my Uncle and slowly just stared at me. I sunk deeper into the hood on my jacket and wished I was invisible.

"Did you tell them or did they hear through the grape vine" I asked him. We haven't really spoken since everything has happened. I kind of shut everyone out.

"Well, you know how people are. One person hears it then the next thing you know ... its out there" he said as he waved back. I was hoping for a less uncomfortable welcome. Now They will always look at me with that sad "Poor girl who lost her parents" look. I sunk deeper into my seat and turned up my head phones.

My uncles house wasn't too far from downtown but it was in a private enough area; that meant I would at least get the quiet peaceful settings I hoped for. His long narrow driveway could probably only fit about one car at a time and was surrounded by trees. We pulled up to the house which had two vehicles there waiting. One, was his work truck which was white and housed large construction equipment and a crane type thing with a bucket attached. Must be for when he needs to reach something high while doing repairs. On the front of the truck was snow plow. I'm guessing he and his company do everything this little town needs. Thats probably why everyone was so happy to see him when he arrived off the highway. He's been away for a month now helping me with the funeral and moving so I can imagine how many repair calls he would have to catch up on.

The other vehicle belonged to his ex wife who left him for another woman almost ten years ago. That couldn't have been good on his ego but he seems okay with it now. The only thing he got out of that divorce was the house, the car and Spud. Spud is a mutt who he wasn't too fond of at first but now cant seem to live without. He got him from a pound when his ex wife begged for a puppy. She hated him.

"Still have the Olds Mobile I see" I said as I looked at the brown car. It seems pretty clean and in good shape for having sat for so long. It seemed to have brand new tires on it as well as an extremely clean interior.

"Yeah ... I was hoping to have you drive it since, you'll be around now and will probably be needing ways around the town." He said. My chest tightened for the pain was a bit surprising. He didn't have to have to give it to me. I know for a fact that he had plans to sell it this month.

"Chris, you don't have to..." I tried to squeeze out but he quickly waved me off as he grabbed a suit case out of his trunk and began walking to the house. I bit my lip and went to grab another bag when I heard a bark and a loud shout. I turned on the ball of my feet like I was going to run or something but I stopped when I saw spud running at me with his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth.

"Spud get inside!" an unfamiliar voice said from the screened in front porch. As I tried to recover from the excessive licks to my face, I saw a man with long stringy hair exit from the house. He was tall, wore a flannel shirt and held a bear in his right hand. His jaw was tight and had not been shaved in a few days. His hands seemed dirty like he had been working on a car or something and his jeans had matching stains on them. His black boots were not tied so the shoe laces made lots of noise as he walked towards us and off the porch.

"Rebecca this is Carson, a good buddy of mine. He stayed here and watched over Spud for me while I was in Chicago with you." Chris said. The man walked over and as he got closer something felt uneasy in the pit of my stomach. Spud agreed apparently because he let out a low growl.

"Ah shut up dog. Stupid Mutt doesn't like me, really never has. Anywho, Nice to meet you" he said with a sinister smile on his face. The stench of beer on his breath almost made me dry heave in his face and it was not setting the best first impression. I cleared my throat and smiled at him. His baby blue eyes looked as if he might have been attractive back in his day but now he just appears washed up. The Beer gut does nothing for him either.

"Hi" I said in my driest of voices while still holding down the vomit. He nodded his head at me and took a drag of his cigarette. It seemed that he was drunk because standing still seemed to be a project on its own for him. I watched him as he swayed back and forth for a minute before turning back around and addressing my Uncle.

"Well since your home I guess I can run off now Chris. Call me later we should go down to the bar and shoot some pool! Maybe Lorraine is working, she seems to get frisky on Sunday nights!" he said proving that he is not the charming gentleman all men should try and be.

"Not tonight Cars, I think I'll stay home and make sure Rebecca gets settled in. You want a ride?" My uncle asked. It was apparent then that there was no other vehicle there meaning he didn't drive. Thank god for that because in his current inebriated state, he might be a danger to himself and others.

"Nah ... I'll walk it off! I Feel a vomit chucking up soon." He said as he burped and walked off. He wasn't the only one feeling one of those. As he walked away, I took a deep breath of fresh air and grabbed my other suitcase and walked towards the house.

"Charming fella" I said. My uncle laughed before answering.

"He takes some getting used to, but he means well" He replied. He was mistaken about his friend. Not sure I will ever get used to him but I'll be forced to give him a chance.

We walked into the two story house which he and his ex wife got at a pretty decent price. Its not too much yet perfectly simple at the same time. From the screened in porch you walk into a living room with a set of stairs that great you at the left wall closest to the door. The living room is relatively large for a small house and has a dining area thats attached to it. Now looking at it, thats what makes it look large. In the dining area theres a round dining room table with stacks of papers and contracts. He must not have guest over often. Judging from the smell of booze and smoke, it seems like the only person he ever has over is Carson.

Just past the dining area is a kitchen and a bathroom. I don't bother to go check them out right now; I'd rather begin to unpack my things. I make my way up the stairs following my Uncle as he shows me where to go. On the second level there really isn't much to see other then a small hallway with a bathroom on one end and two bedrooms on the other. One his and the other mine. The hallway housed a few pictures of him and his coworkers but the one of me in my cap and gown caught my attention. We had just sent him that a week before the accident. As we got to the end of the hallway I regained focus and stopped staring off into space. He opened the door and stepped aside so I could walk in. The room wasn't huge or anything but I didn't need much space. The hardwood floors looked like they were recently cleaned or redone, maybe for my arrival, and there was a desk in the one corner next to a book shelf. In the center of the room below the window was a bed that had new sheets folded nicely on them. This was the only room so far that hasn't been tainted by Carson's cigarette smoke so it felt comfortable and good to be in it.

"I know your thinking it's too small but..." he started to say but I stopped him.

"It's fine Chris... perfect almost." I said with a smile. It seemed to make him feel better and he also smiled.

I grabbed a bag and placed it on the bed and unzipped it as he went downstairs to grab my two boxes I brought as well. The closet space wasn't anything to be excited about but I would have to run to town to get some more shelf space or something that could house the stuff that didn't fit in the dresser and closet. I wonder if he would go with me if I needed to get there. Its not like I could get lost or anything being that the town is as big as my old high school, but to have him there I guess for support would be nice. People were already staring at me as we drove in I could imagine the sad somber looks I would get if it were in person. I have done a lot of grieving and didn't need complete strangers giving me sympathy that would only cause more hurt.

By the time I hung everything in that suitcase, Chris had returned with the two very large boxes and placed one on the desk. I threw him a razor blade that I carry in my back pocket and he sliced one open. I grabbed the next suit case which was filled with more clothes and some shoes and began to unload it. To think that had I not donated most of my clothes that I would have probably had two more suit cases made me giggle. We needed to sell a lot of the stuff in the old house so most of my shoes were at least bought as opposed to given away. I HAD a shoe obsession at one point but now my priorities would have to change dramatically. As I turned around to put more clothes in the closet I noticed Chris stopped moving and was holding something. As I took a closer look I saw that it was a picture of my Mom and I. It was taken this past summer at our family vacation to the Dominican Republic. It was one of my favorite pictures.

"She loved you unconditionally Rebecca" he said with a slight crack in his voice.

I knew he missed his sister a lot and this entire time he's been helping me he has yet to crack. Maybe this was about to be that time. I placed the clothes on the bed and walked over to him. I haven't looked at the picture since I put it in the box but even then I didn't really look at it. Standing next to him now, I took the picture from his hand and analyzed her face. Her hair, her eyes and smile. I missed her so much. The picture became very blurry then as I realized I had began to cry. I felt my throat close around a loud sob but it was muffled by Uncle Chris as he pulled me into a tight hug. He held me there as I let it out for the first time since hearing the news of their death. Though the feeling of being alone was strong still, it felt good to have someone know how it felt to feel the emptiness in my chest. I knew he understood and he too was crying with me.

After I'm unpacked, I change clothes and begin to untie my red curls from the sloppy bun I had it in all day. I grab a brush and stand in front of my mirror. I used to care about my appearance and used to care how my hair looked but as of lately, that was a thing of the past. Now I just stood there in sweats and a T-Shirt staring at my very thin and still toned frame. Thats due to my dancing but I can slowly see that disappearing. My light green eyes looked tired and as I stared into them, I sense a ping of hunger in my stomach. An ache I need to cure soon for I haven't eaten since yesterday. I looked at the clock and see that is almost 8:30pm. Does this man eat dinner anytime soon? I put my slippers on and head downstairs in search of food. Once downstairs I see that the tv is on and no one is watching it; I turn to see Chris staring into the opened fridge. The look on his face is troubled and I smile because he truly looks confused. I being to giggle when I he turns to look at me.

"Well, I'm not much of a cook or anything ... but I do know how to cook some things."

"Okay well, what did you have in mind?" I asked.

"Well, what I did have in mind is now not an option. Carson left my fridge bare without a single thing in it other then some butter and old milk... oh and an Egg" He says as he holds up the single oval object.

"Well, we can go to the diner if you don't mind... we'll go shopping in the morning." He added as he closed the refrigerator door. He really looked disappointed by not being able to cook dinner for me. I think he is really trying hard to be a parental figure. I shook my head and smiled in agreement.

"As long as I can drive ... then sure!" I said with a large grin. Might as well get used to the car and making my way around town. He smiled back and threw me the set of keys that were hanging next to the fridge.

The car drove pretty smoothly for not being touched for so long. Its a miracle I even remembered what to do with a vehicle in the first place. Its been a while since I've been behind the wheel of a car so I was nervous at first. Once we made it out of the residential area and into the town, my anxiety started up again because even though it was evening, the streets and sidewalks were filled with people still. The stairs would all still be there but at least Chris was with me. He guided me through the town and told me where to go but it was so small that even after the one trip through it earlier, I remembered where the Diner was. We parked and made our way inside. It was definitely an old time diner which was ripped right out of a 50's movie but everyone smiled as we walked in.

"Well hello Christopher! Are we having the usual?" The hostess asked as we entered. "Oh and who is this beautiful young lady?" She asked as she looked me up and down. She knew who I was, everyone at this point had to of, but the fact that she was so nice to not make me feel uncomfortable, won her points in my book. Uncle Chris looked at her gratefully and turned to introduce me.

"This is my niece Rebecca. She is going to be living with me now. Rebecca this is Carol."

"Nice to meet you Carol" I said as I shook her hand.

"Likewise honey! Follow me, we have a table right over here!" She said as she guided us to the back booth by the window.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" She asked.

"Water with Lemon please" I said.

"Water with lemon and a black coffee and sugar for You?" She asked as she jotted down in her note pad. Chris nodded his head and smiled at me.

"Come here often?" I asked.

"Girl he's here every night after his shift is over. The man doesn't cook. Don't let him fool ya!" she said as she hit his shoulder in a playful way. His cheeks turned red and he passed me a menu. "Ok look over the menu and I'll be right back with your drinks." she said as she giggled and walked away.

"It's not every day... Somedays I pick up a pizza. And we have a new Chinese Take out place that's pretty good." he explained as he acted as if he was looking over the menu.

"Well, lucky for you, I cook so we wont always have to eat out." I added.

"Yeah thats right, John was a chef. He must have taught you a thing or two." He said of my Father. He was right, Dad taught me a lot of different things in the kitchen so I was well off with some good ingredients.

"Here you two go, Water with lemon and here's your coffee chris. Have you decided?" Carol asked as she placed our beverages off. I looked at Chris who smiled at me and looked back at Carol who nodded her head at him.

"The usual Im guessing?" I said teasing him. I looked at Carol and asked for the Pulled Pork sandwich with a side of fries. She jotted it down and walked away. Before we could get a chance to begin talking a man shouted my uncles name and walked over.

"Well look who the hell it is! Chris we missed you down at the bar! Not to mention the Animal Shelter needs some of their pens fixed!" The large man said as he pulled up a chair to our booth.

"Dylan this is my niece Rebecca, Rebecca this is Dylan. He works for Animal Control." Chris said.

"Hello little lady welcome to Wallace" He said as he nodded his head. I smiled and took a sip from my water. I listened on as he and my uncle talked about things that have happened over the past month. Dylan gave him a run down of things that were needing fixing as well possible plans for snow storms since November is a big month for them here in Wallace. By the time our food came out they were still mid conversation. My uncle tried to get me involved in the conversation as much as possible but I let them do most of the talking. He needed to play catch up especially being that he was getting back to work tomorrow. It was a cell phone ring that broke their conversation. Dylan reached in his pocket and answered the call.

"Hello? ... Yeah this is Dylan ... A what? Jesus Christ I'll be there" He said as he slammed his hand into the table.

"What happened?" Chris asked.

"Pedro just hit a very large dog out on interstate 90. Its in bad shape and so is he. They want me to go take a look at it down at the shelter. I gotta go. It was nice meeting you Little Lady" he said to me as he pushed the chair back in place and walked out.

"Sorry about that ... A lot of people in town rely on my services. Guess tomorrow is going to be a long day" He said smiling.

"So school, you don't have to go tomorrow if you don't feel up to it. Feel free to get accustomed to the area" he said as he bit into his double bacon cheeseburger.

"Nah, I think I'll go anyway. This way Im not bored at the house thinking about things that I don't need to." I said truthfully. He understood and shook his head.

"Well they are all ready for you in the am. Your signed up and all your files have been transferred over. You'll have to go to the main office as soon as you het in so that they can give you your schedule. Im pretty close with the Principle so she'll be expecting you. I told her all about you and your dancing so she's excited to have real talent added to their arts..."

"No..." I said cutting him off.

"No? What do you mean?"

"I won't be dancing." I replied.

"Well why not?" he asked sounding irritated. "You have a huge talent why would you let that go to waste..."

"BECAUSE I JUST DON'T WANT TO!" I said in a tone three octaves higher then I should have. Everyone in the diner stopped what they were doing and looked over at me. Chris, looking embarrassed just nodded his head and took another bite from his burger.

"I'm ... I'm sorry..." I said.

"It's fine, I shouldn't have brought it up." he said as he took a sip of his coffee.

I shouldn't have reacted the way I did but it was something I felt strongly about. The rest of dinner was ate in silence and even though for a second I might have thought this town and this new beginning would help me move on, I realized then that somethings will take a lot more then running away from to get over.