Chapter 3 2

Maxon

Nova, can I come see you now?

My question hung between us for minutes. It had been weeks since I had seen Nova and to say it was killing me was putting it nicely. It was like the first and second time she left me combined, and those were even real times. I couldn't even get up to do any of my Alpha duties, and they automatically fell onto Alec's shoulders; it also left Noni angry with me but what could I say? I couldn't bring myself to leave my room. Nova's scent was everywhere, and I feared that if I left it I'd wake up and find out that this was just another dream. A really bad one...

Nova, I called. I knew she was there, just hesitating on an answer. Again, I felt that block in her mind. She was definitely hiding something from me, and maybe it was what caused her seizure.

You know you can't come here Maxon. That was all she gave me before she shut out the link and blocked me.

My first reaction was to get angry and throw and break shit left and right in the room, but the only emotion that poured from me was sadness... immense and deep, depressing sadness. It is a rare occurrence that I cry, I can't even remember the last time I – no wait, it was when Nova rejected me... but that didn't count because it wasn't technically real. These tears were worse though. These were no holds barred tears. They ran freely and rapidly down my face; I might have even had snot draining from my nose as well

I stood up from the spot I had taken on the bed and began pacing the room. Now that the crying was out of the way I grew angry. I was – I am her mate! She should want me by her side, especially right now when something was clearly wrong with her. I was supposed to be there to take care of her and cater to her every desire. It was supposed to be me! Not some stupid pack doctor!

I growled.

Was she cheating on me? Did she have someone else?

Whoever came up with the notion that guys didn't panic over shit like this was a stone cold liar... we just never let it show, but right now with my assumptions running wild jealously was rearing its ugly head and with me being Alpha it was ten times worse than anyone could ever imagine.

She's cheating on us! She found someone else, I growled to myself. I could feel my wolf agreeing and that only angered me more. My wolf was making his way to the surface and I wasn't going to stop him.

I walked to the wall and immediately slammed my fists through it; repeatedly. The thought of our mate's body in another wolf's hands was driving us insane. The images and audios of Nova making love and moaning another wolf's name killed up but fueled the rage that was building even more. I began slamming my fists into the wall faster. Every negative thought I had I tried to pound away using the wall.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't born an Alpha, maybe if I hadn't been things would be a lot easier for Nova and I, and I wouldn't be as moody and temperamental as I am... As that last thought races through my mind I stopped punching the wall.

Was it my fault that Nova didn't want me around?

Did I do something wrong?

Forget something?

Hurt her?

Not love her enough?

My mind was swimming with possibilities on what the answer could be. If it was my fault and I did do something wrong, why couldn't she be a normal female and tell me? At the very least shout at me and call me stupid and insensitive, anything was better than what she's putting me through now.

Nova, I said firmly through our link. Hopefully she would answer.

Yes Maxon? Her voice sounded tired and irritated, like she didn't want to talk to me. Just the thought of that made my wolf whimper and had me close to tears again. Fuck! I hate having a mate sometimes, I thought.

Did I do something wrong? Did I forget something, I asked her. I hated how weak I sounded. Soft and un-Alpha like, but she brought that out in me. Any femme would bring that side out of her mate...

She didn't reply as quickly as I had hoped, but when she did, I was hoping it was something more profound. If you did then why would I tell you?

Shit, I thought. I did forget something. But what?

So, you are angry with me and that's why I can't come see you?

Yes. When she said it, it sounded more like a question then a definitive answer, but I didn't waste time on that, although I should've.

That's a bit childish don't you think, I grumbled.

Nova might have been only a year under me but sometimes I think that what we did to her in high school ruined her a little. She never got to go out and party and go crazy like the rest of us did. She never got to get it out of her system. There's not a day that goes by that I don't hate myself for teasing her and my father for pressuring me into it. So now while we are all growing up, she suppressed her childish self and now it was out to play...

So, I'm childish now Maxon, she asked angrily. I could hear her wolf growling, but whether it was for her or me was still unclear.

No. You're being childish, I corrected.

Same difference.

No. It's not.

Fine, whatever Maxon, she said angrily. Her tone was really starting to bug me, and I could feel myself losing control. Soon words would just start flying from my lips, most will be dripping with venom.

I don't want to argue with you babe. I was trying to calm down. All I wanted was to see her, to feel her, to kiss her. That's all I wanted. This extra shit was becoming a nuisance.

Well it's a little too fucking late for that Maxon. I am already pissed off and angrily with you, she spat.

What the fuck is wrong with you Nova! All I want to do is to come see you and kiss you; to tell you how much I love you and how sorry I am for whatever I did to put you where you are but all you are doing is pushing me away! Why, I shouted.

Because I don't want you here Maxon! You fucking put me here so why would I want to see that wolf that put in the hospital?

Her words stopped my breath. I know I blamed myself for being in the hospital, but I never once thought that she blamed me too... she never once even lead on that that's what she thought. I couldn't find the right words to form any type of coherent sentence that would even begin to tell her how sorry I was.

Nova, I'm sorry, I said softly. It had been the same words she had been hearing all week, but these words were different. They were laced with another emotion other than guilt. Sadness.

I-I-I-I don't want to see you Maxon, she stuttered.

Nova, I-

No Maxon. I just really don't want to be near you right now. She closed off the link again before I could say another word.

I started pounding into the wall again. How the hell did she not want to see me? Her mate? This was Nova and I's first fight ever since seeing that damn premonition. I have been the perfect mate and she doesn't want to see me? I had this fucking house built for her in two weeks because she didn't want to stay in the pack house, and she didn't want to see me? I gave all she ever wanted and desired and she didn't want to see me?

I took half of my frustrations out on that wall and by the time I was done that wall could've passed for Swiss cheese. I closed my eyes and tried to calm my wolf down.

1

She didn't want to see me...

2

She was cheating on me...

3

You mean us, my wolf added.

4

Yeah whatever... just help me calm down, I told him.

5

She loves us...

6

She can't cheat on us. She would never do that...

7

She's just mad about the fact I put her in the hospital...

8

Yeah, that's it.

9

What about the secret she's hiding, my wolf asked.

10

Not important now nor is it helping.

I opened my eyes and looked around the room. I wasn't as shocked as I should've been when I saw that the room was in complete shambles. I didn't even notice that I was moving not to mention throwing and breaking shit. Before I knew it, Alex and Noni were standing in my doorway gawking at the mess.

"What the hell happened here," Alex asked or more like shouted at me.

I growled at him, not in the mood to be yelled at again, and then answered. "Your sister happened..."

"What happened," he asked. I just growled and turned away from them. I couldn't even bring myself to look at Noni. I knew she was with Nova when we were arguing, and she didn't even try to help me.

As an Alpha, it felt weird to want help from a lesser wolf, but this was about Nova and I so if I needed help with anything I would ask. I wasn't afraid to ask for help with her. I was never the guy who had stable, committed relationships, so this was all new to me. Noni is Nova's best friend, so of course she would know what I needed to do to make this better, but she had been avoiding me the entire week, so I gave up on her and eventually grew angry with her...

"Ask your mate," I spat.

Right now, I hated that word with a passion. Why would the Fates mate me with someone who could break me so easily? I am an Alpha. I needed to remain strong at all times, but it seemed like the more I was with Nova; the further she broke me down. I was just physically and emotionally tired.

"Noni? What does she-, "he turned to Noni quickly and scowled at her. "What have the two of you been doing all day?"

"Maxon and Nova had a little fight," she whimpered, probably from his expression. I still refused to look at her.

I scoffed. "A little fight? That's what you call it when your mate doesn't want to see you? That's good to know."

"You're being dramatic Maxon. It wasn't –, "

I growled, whipping around and made my way to her in an instant; towering over her. Alex tried to get in front of her but once I used my Alpha command in a growl, he had no choice but to obey. I turned my attention back to Noni, who was looking at me defiantly. I stepped towards her, being mindful not to push Alex too far. The closer I got the more her defiant look faltered, my wolf and I smiled at the victory.

Lucky, she wasn't a male or I would've taken that as a challenge, my wolf growled out. I agreed.

"I am being dramatic? Has Alex ever told you he didn't want to be around you? Has he ever told you the most hurtful things just to keep you away? Made you feel less than loved?"

My words were harsh, but soft. I wanted her to understand that I am more hurt than angry. I wanted her to know that what my mate, her best friend, said to me was more painful than anything I had ever experienced. I would never say something like that to her, even in our worse moments.

Noni whimpered and shook her head no.

"Has he ever kept secrets from you? Blocked you out so you could have no contact with him whatsoever?"

Again, she shook her head no.

"Then don't fucking tell me that I am being dramatic! Nova is my mate," I said spitting the word mate out of my mouth like it was acid. "She is the only one on the planet that could get away with hurting me like she has... and believe me she has hurt me deeply."

"Maxon, she-, "she started, but I immediately cut her off.

"Just get out, the both of you. I won't trash the room anymore. Just go," I said. I couldn't see my expression, but I must have looked pitiful because of the looks they were giving me.

"Maxon I'll try and figure out the problem bro'. I'll try," Alex offered slapping me on the shoulder briefly. His attempt at support and comfort didn't help at all.

I nodded my head and went to the bathroom and turned the showerhead on, signaling that it was really time for them to leave. They both looked as if they didn't want to leave and it was upsetting. Noni wasn't even my friend so why was she here?

"Did Nova send you," I asked her. She nodded softly and opened her mouth to speak but I held up my hand. "Save it. Whatever she has to say to me she can either say it herself of just not talk to me at all... I'm done with her secrets."

"Maxon she has-, "I growled.

"Just leave him be," Alex cautioned. She nodded and they left the room.

I wasn't sure about what I had meant about being done with Nova's secrets just yet. Did I mean that I was going to reject her or that I just wasn't going to talk to her until she decided that I had a right as her mate to know what was wrong? If it had been me keeping secrets from her, she wouldn't have wasted time trying to get away from me, so why shouldn't I do the same to her? Didn't know what I was going to do, nor did I know what I wanted to do, but I knew for sure is that I didn't want any damn visitors; and I made sure the whole pack knew it.

EVERYONE LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! I shouted through the packs' link. I could feel the cringes and whimpers from everyone in the pack, including Nova but I didn't care.

"She doesn't care about me... she doesn't want to see me..." I said aloud to myself sadly. I hadn't felt like this since before Nova and I had mated; I felt so alone now.

It was only seconds after I sent the message that glass shattered somewhere and people started screaming, Nova started screaming... Do I run to save her, or do I leave her alone like she wanted?