Chapter 5 You complete me

Chapter 4

The Past

Stacia's pov

I can't believe my twins are turning one already. It feels like just yesterday Darius and I were bringing them home from the hospital for the first time. We were going all out for this party. I know they won't remember it, but we don't care. These will be the only babies we have to do this for. Darius and I talked, and we decided that the twins were it for us. I had to many complications and just didn't want to chance it again.

We had our boy and our girl and that was all we needed. We just had a lot going on and things were good in our lives right now. We have been through so much that it's nice to finally feel like we have everything we had ever wanted and possibly more than we have ever needed. I was the happiest I have ever been in my life. Being a mother was my greatest accomplishment this far.

I just wish Darius was the happiest he could be. He seemed so lost lately. Ever since he walked away from Hollywood, he hasn't been able to find something to do. Serenity, Tigra, and I have opened a boutique for plus sized women. We all take turns working and have hired nothing but mothers. We are a little community that help and support each other almost like a family and I love it. With us all being mothers we help each other out so that we can all be home more with our kids. That's what means the most to all of us.

I feel like he has given up on himself. He is an amazing father but when he's not with the twins he just seems so down. I was hoping that him taking the lead and planning this party would give me back my husband that used to be so full of life. He just needed to find that one thing that makes him feel alive even if it means he goes back to acting. I just wanted him to be happy and I would support him in all that he wanted to do.

I have even started to try my hand at designing clothes. It was a trendy line for working moms on a budget. It made me feel good to try something new and have it all work out. So, far the clothes are all sold out at our boutique and online. We couldn't keep up with all the orders. Serenity and I have been working a lot but thankfully Ethan and Darius are such amazing fathers that they have really helped us. We have been taking over Tigra's shifts because well we both knew something was going on with her.

Between her and Darius I had my hands full trying to figure out what was going on with them. I was very stressed and didn't really know how to help them. Tigra and I have always been close but lately it seems like she is pushing me away. I know having a new baby is hard, but she went from always being around to making excuses all the time. She hasn't made it to a family dinner in over two months and these were her idea. The sad part is I don't even know if her and Junior will be here today to celebrate the twin's birthday.

I got the twin's ready and dressed in their birthday outfits and then got them into their car seats. I didn't want the party at our place because I didn't want to deal with the mess, so we rented a hall. We rented a bunch of bouncy houses. We got food vendors and a few clowns. I just hoped everyone had a good time. This was not just for the kids but for us parents to have some fun as well. Let our inner kids come out for a change.

When I pulled up outside of the hall Darius was there waiting outside to help me get Aniyah and Andre. He got everything set up while I was home with them. We made a great team. He got Aniyah and I grabbed Andre. Some of the guests were already here so I hurried inside. Serenity and Ethan were already here since they helped get everything set up. Aniyah wanted down and walked over to Echo. I swear when these two grow up they will end up married because they just have this sweet little connection already.

"It looks so amazing in here Darius."

"Do you think our babies will have fun?"

"Well look how happy everyone looks. You just won father of the year award."

I walked over and gave him a kiss and told him to stop worrying and just have fun. I looked around but didn't see Tigra and that really bothered me. She should have been here by now. Kaden and Junior were already here so, where is she? He said she was running a little late because she had a few things to do since she was baby free. If you ask me, she hasn't been the same since Junior was born over seven months ago. Once this party was over, I was going to talk to her about this. Something was wrong and I needed to know what it was.

The older kids seemed to love the bouncy houses as for my babies they loved the bubble machine and was trying to eat them. The adults loved all the food so all in all this party was a huge success. I told Darius he should plan more events because he was damn good at it. He just kissed me and laughed as he walked away to go talk to some of the guys that were here. I really wish he would stop doubting himself. Guess he needs a good hard kick in the ass to snap him out of it.

People started to go home and the clean- up crew was here to clean yet my sister was still nowhere to be seen. I was so hurt that she didn't show up and Kaden had no idea where she even was. He seemed worried but didn't really want to talk to me about it. Was something more going on that he wasn't telling me? Tigra never would have missed something so important before. Were they having marital problems? Was she sick? Nothing was adding up.

I told Darius once we got home that I was worried about Tigra. He said he was as well because she's not being herself. He said that when he talked to Kaden that he seemed exhausted and down. I asked him to watch the twins so I could go over and just set my eyes on her myself to make sure everything is ok. I decided to call Serenity and see if she wanted to go with me. Serenity lived two houses down. Tigra did live next door but when Kaden opened his own practice to be home more, they moved across town and I didn't see them as much as I once did.

Serenity was outside waiting when I pulled up. She seemed just as worried as I was. Tigra hasn't called Serenity in weeks and I realized I haven't talked to her in days. I have been so busy that I didn't even see there could be a problem with her. I felt like such a horrible sister right now. That was going to change. She has always had my back and I wanted to show her that I would always have hers as well.

"What do you think is going on with her?" I asked Serenity.

"I think she has post-partum depression she has been off since she had Junior. I just want her to know we are here for her and to support her."

"I can't believe I missed this."

"Don't do that Stacia. You have twins plus, the clothing line and you put more hours in at the boutique then all of us. You're also dealing with Darius and how he's been so down lately. You are only one person you can't do it all."

"I guess I need to realize that. I take on everything and feel guilty when I can't fix it. I just hope that Tigra will open up to us and not push us away."

"She knows we are only doing this because we love her and are concerned."

"Kaden looked so tried today and Junior wasn't his bubbly baby self. I just don't know when it got so bad, but this is affecting everyone."

We pulled up outside of Tigra's house and I noticed Kaden's car wasn't there. I knew he wasn't at work since he opened his own practice, he was now home every night. Was he not living here? Serenity and I looked at each other and I could tell we were thinking the same thing. I guess we will never know unless we go and knock on the door. I was just scared of what I was going to find. I knocked on the door and was alarmed when I saw Tigra. This shell of a person standing before me was not my sister.

"Tigra what is going on? Are you ok?" I asked.

She took one look at me and burst into tears. Serenity and I walked into the house and shut the door. I sat Tigra down on the couch and sat next to her. I didn't know what to do or say. She has always been so strong. Seeing her like this just broke my heart. I looked around and wondered where Junior was. The house was a mess and Tigra looked as if she hadn't showered in days. This was bad.

"I have felt so lost for a while. I have talked to someone about it and they put me on meds, but it made everything worse. They called it baby blues. I am happy to be a mom, so I don't know what is going on."

"Tigra what you're going through is perfectly normal and a lot of mothers experience this. I had a bout of it myself right after Echo was born."

"How did you get past it?"

"I talked to Ethan and I went to a support group for mothers that was going through the same thing as I was."

"Can I get the info for the support group?"

"Yes, I think that will help you out so much."

"Tigra I don't mean to bring this up but where is Kaden and Junior?" I asked.

"Well since things got really tough around here Kaden took Junior and is staying in the apartment above his practice."

Was she serious right now? I was so angry. How could he leave her when she needed him the most, and to take her son with him? I needed to have a talk with him. I didn't want to over step here, but I just needed to talk to him about what was really going on. It had to be something more than what Tigra was saying if he left. He loved her so much and I just don't get why he would just leave her at her lowest point.

Tigra's pov

I was so embarrassed when Stacia and Serenity showed up. Then to hear that I forgot all about the twin's birthday party I just felt guilty. I never wanted them to see me like this. Stacia was always so put together. She has this mom and career thing all figured out. I know she isn't looking down on me, but I just don't think she understands just what I am going through.

I was surprised to hear that Serenity went through this, but I am glad she told me about the support group. I was willing to try anything to get back the woman I once was. I lost my husband and my child because I couldn't get it together and he was worried that I couldn't take care of my son. What he didn't get was leaving like he did just made everything worse. I would never hurt my son and for him to think that hurt me so much. I was depressed and cried but I wasn't a bad mother.

I have been doing everything he asked of me, yet it wasn't good enough. I didn't tell Stacia just how bad it truly is because I didn't like the look of pity, she was giving me. I wouldn't mind talking to Serenity more about it so I asked her if she would meet me for lunch tomorrow. I loved my sister but for now I just didn't need a reminder of all the things in my life that she was better at. She was the perfect mom and her career was booming. I had the boutique but even that wasn't fully mine.

I just wanted my family back. I wanted my husband to look at me and see the strong black Queen he first fell in love with. I want to go places with my son and laugh because I am so happy. I want to feel alive again instead of always feeling guilty for being sad. I had an amazing life and loved my husband and my son that wasn't the issue. Kaden seems to think this all has something to do with him my being unhappy.

He just didn't get that this had nothing to do with him. He's a doctor and knows all about post-partum depression yet when it comes to me, he acts as if he doesn't believe me. Times like this I hated that he was a doctor because he acted as if I was a patient that needed to hear the science of things instead of just needing my husband to hold me. To listen to me and be supportive and realize I am trying.

Serenity's pov

Seeing Tigra reminded me of how broken up I was when I had Echo. You carry this baby inside you for nine months and then suddenly, they are out in the world and no one ever tells you the loss you feel of them not being there anymore. I missed feeling his kicks and that closeness. Yes, I know he was out, and I held him in my arms, but it wasn't the same at first.

I didn't really know anything about post-partum depression until I found this support group, they helped me at the darkest point of my life. I know they will be good for Tigra. She needed women that gets what she's going through. I know Stacia wants to help but there isn't really anything she can do but just let Tigra know she is there for her.

I haven't had any depression at all lately. Echo is now one and Ethan and I were talking about adding another baby to our family. I wanted a little girl, so we decided to start trying. We both wanted a big family and didn't want our kids to be too far apart in ages. I was still going to the support group so that this time around I would have a better handle in case it happened again.

Right now, things were going great for us. I had the boutique and loved it. I was even doing a kid's line that I was selling online. Stacia and I even started a cosmetics line. My career was in full bloom. Ethan's recording studio that he opened last year was finally taking off. A lot of mega stars was coming to him now. He was happy and such a hard worker but still made sure his family always came first.

He offered Darius a job with him, but he turned it down. So, Ethan reached out and told some of his movie producer friends that Darius might be looking to get back into acting and now Stacia said he's being bombarded with scripts. I hope he finds a movie he's passionate about and gets his shine back. I just wanted everyone I loved to be as happy as I am. I want them all to succeed. After everything we have all been through in our lives, we deserve it.

At the end of the day we are family and we must have each other's back because not everyone else will. We must hold onto each other for strength. If we never let the other fall alone and they always know someone will be there to pick them up, then this world is a much better place to be in. It makes the darker days fewer and farther between. Knowing I am not alone in this makes everything better. It makes my dark days brighter. I want to be that shining light for others. We are not alone. We will always have each other.

Sometimes the rain crashes threw the sunshine and feels as if I am going to break. Like this world is just out to get me. Days where I feel like it's just one thing after another hitting me at once. I couldn't live through this if I didn't have Ethan. Without his love I wouldn't have made it through all this pain and darkness. It made us stronger and bonded our love on a whole other level. When I was weak, he was strong. He was made for me. He isn't just my husband but my partner and my best friend.

I just hope that Kaden can realize he needs to be that for Tigra. Darius was lucky because he has that in Stacia. Love is what we all need to survive. At the end of the day we could lose everything we own but if we have each other we still have everything we will ever need. Both Tigra and Stacia has become my family at a time I needed one the most. Now it's my turn to be there for them and help them through this rough patch. We will all come out on the other side stronger than ever.