Chapter 3 Can't get you off my mind

Chapter 2

Colton's pov

I haven't been able to get Joslyn off my mind since that night. She was beautiful inside and out. We are still texting each other constantly, and even talk on the phone. We actually have our first official date tonight. I have been asking her out a lot, but she always seemed to have a reason why she couldn't. I just don't want to put my heart into this if she doesn't really like me.

She was so confident that night she talked to me. I wonder where that girl went. We talk for hours on the phone, but the second I bring up seeing each other she tenses. I really like her. I don't want to push her into anything. I feel like a boy with his first crush.

Here I am a firefighter, and this one girl is making me all nervous. My buddies would be laughing at me if they saw how I was acting. I was just glad I was able to trade shifts with my buddy, so I could take Joslyn out. I was afraid if I had to reschedule she would just back out. Once I was dressed I hurried out the door to meet her at Starbucks. Not my ideal place for a first date, but that's where she wanted to meet.

I get she's worried since we met online. I just want her to get to know the real me not my profile in the chat room. I mean we have been talking for some time, but I guess she is still nervous about it all. I stood up when I saw her come in and smiled. She looked beautiful.

"Hello Joslyn, you look beautiful."

She said thank you and blushed. I loved how sweet she was. I was tired of drama queens so someone like Joslyn was a breath of fresh air. It also helped that we had so much in common. We both loved helping people. She actually just got her certificate to be a paramedic which I was proud of her for.

Helping others was just such a rush. She was going to be assigned to a firehouse but didn't know which one yet. As we talked I noticed she kept looking everywhere but at me. I was really feeling like she wanted to be anywhere but with me.

"Joslyn is everything okay?"

"Yes, sorry I am just really shy, and well you make me nervous."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, I am new to this. It may sound funny, but I have never been on a date, or ever had a boyfriend."

"I find that hard to believe since you're so beautiful."

She blushed again and smiled. I loved her smile. It was so pure. I don't know why other guys couldn't see the amazing woman I saw in front of me. I would not make that same mistake. I really liked Joslyn and would love for her to be my girl. Now that I know why she is so distant I will take my time.

I was just worried that she didn't want me. For some reason the thought of not being with Joslyn really bothered me. We sat there for hours then she finally had to go because she had a class. I loved how goal oriented she was.

We made plans to go out to dinner on my next night off. Once we said our goodbyes she seemed a lot more at ease. After I walked her to her car I decided to head to the fire house since I really didn't have anything else to do.

When I got there everything was chaotic. We had a 4-alarm fire, and some of my fellow brothers are hurt. I should have been there tonight. I looked all around for my best friend Colby. He was the one working for me tonight.

We grew up together and became firefighters together. My chief saw me, and I saw the fear and unknowing in his eyes. I knew right away Colby was one of the ones that were hurt. I hurried out of there and went to the hospital. I felt so much guilt in my heart. The only reason Colby was there was because of me. If something happens to him it's all my fault. It should have been me.

Joslyn's pov

When I got home from my date with Colton I felt like I was on cloud nine. He truly was amazing. I don't know why it took me so long to agree to a date with him. He was unlike any other guy I have ever met. He didn't look at me and see this shy "fat" girl. No, he saw someone determined, and goal oriented.

I love the fact that he's a firefighter. He said he does it to help others. For me that means a lot. Being a paramedic has been the one thing I always wanted to do so I can help others. I got a call from my friend Lacey thinking she was going to grill me about my date I quickly picked up. I couldn't wait to gush about Colton. All that flew out the window when I heard her crying.

"Lacey what's wrong?"

"It's, it's Neal. Joslynn, I need you."

Neal was Lacey's husband of four years, and a firefighter. I was hoping to get in with his firehouse since he was the closest thing to family I had along with Lacey. I told her I would be right there. Please just let Neal be ok.

"Where are you Lacey?"

She named off the hospital, and I told her I was on my way. Lacey needed me right now. So many things were going through my mind. The last time I went to a hospital it was to say goodbye to my sister. I couldn't think about any of that now or I would fall apart. I needed to be strong for my friend. Once I got there I rushed into the ER and looked around. There were a lot of fire fighters here along with a ton of people all just standing around looking so sad. I spotted Lacey and hurried over to her.

"Lacey what happened?"

"There was a fire, and it got out of control. All I know is some people are dead. A few firefighters included, and several more hurt."

I felt faint at hearing that. My thoughts instantly went to Colton. He had the night off he said, but did he get called in? I looked at my friend who was now crying uncontrollably. How did this happen?

"So, do you know how bad it is?"

"No, they just told me I needed to come down to the hospital right away. What if he was one of the ones that died? I just found out I'm pregnant. I can't do this alone Joslyn."

I held her as she cried. I know the pain of losing someone. It's something you never get over. I hoped for this unborn babies' sake and for Lacey that they would never have to feel that kind of loss. I looked around at all the sad faces, and my heart ached for them.

So many lives will be changed tonight. It's scary how one event can change so much. My sister dying made me want to be a better person. I worked hard to be the kind of person she would be proud of.

I sit here holding my friend as she awaits her life changing moment. Will she get to hold her husband in her arms once more? Will their baby grow up with both its parent's? Or will she be forever broken just like me? Life never has a guarantee.

I let fear rule my life. Now sitting here seeing everyone cling to hope made me realize how much I needed to live. In the blink of an eye everything you know can be taken from you. I can't let my fear cripple me. Living in fear is no way to live at all.