Chapter 3 PAIN

MARCUS'S POV

I lost my mom when I was seven years old. Her departure had broken me to the core. I had missed her terribly and father never really understood my feelings.

The only person that truly loved and understood me was no more. Sometimes I wished that I had taken her place instead wherever she was.

I still can't believe that she died in front me and my mind always drifted to her last words.

"Find your sister..."

Her death had traumatized me mostly because I found my father holding a kitchen knife covered in blood.

His hands were also covered in blood; he had killed her; he killed my mother.

FLASHBACK

FAITH'S POV

I had managed to deceive James with my pregnancy. My due date was only in a few weeks,but I had to be prepared in case the baby was coming earlier than expected.

He never really paid attention to me and his visits home became life frequent; it was my only chance to sneak out and go deliver the baby.

Luckily, no one suspected anything. I know the town would be curious if I came back without a baby but I would make up an excuse that I delivered a still born.

It was a good lie.

Days later I started having contractions. I knew that the baby was coming.

I called for room service immediately a few minutes later they called an ambulance and I was rushed to the hospital.

Another wave of pain shot through me and I gritted my teeth in the process. I was aware of the nurses wheeling me to the labor ward I kept breathing in and out to relax myself.

"Madam you're going to have to push" the nurse urged and I gave a weak nod.

I pushed with all my might and after hours of pain I finally heard my baby's cry.

"Congratulations madam it's a girl" the midwife said softly and I felt tears burning my eyes.

The nurse handed me my little girl. She was pinkish, covered in blood and a cheese looking whitish substance.

I placed her on my chest.

She had blonde hair and blue eyes just like her father. She was perfect and so beautiful.

I stroked her gently admiring her. I didn't want to give her up but even if I had given birth to her she was never mine. It hurt knowing that she would grow up to call another mother.

A tear rolled down my cheeks.

A few minutes later the nurses had cleaned her up and she was peacefully sleeping in her cradle.

Her father and new mother would come to pick her up as soon as the doctor cleared the both of us.

It was generous of them to give me a little time to bond with her but letting her go would hurt the most.

I placed a soft kiss on her forehead cradling her in my arms as I sang her the lullaby I always sang to her big brother Marcus.

Three days later the doctor told me I was clear to go and I could go back home anytime,but leaving only meant that I would never see my daughter again.

The next day I felt much better but emotionally I was still a big mess because this was the last time I was going to see my baby girl.

That went on eventually slow it was very painfully each second, minutes and hour went very painfully slow.

They would be here soon.

Three hours later.

The nurse informed me that I had two visitors precisely a woman and man.

Once they entered the room it felt like time had come to a stand still. They were dressed in fancy expensive clothes so maybe they would provide her with a better life.

Something that I have always wanted to give Marcus.

We only briefly introduced ourselves.

"You can hold her if you like," I whispered softly and the woman nodded eagerly. It felt strange when she took my baby away from me.

She cradled my little baby in her arms gently and tears were rolling down my cheeks.

I guess she has always wanted to be a mother and finally her dream has come true. Her husband wrapped an arm around her as they watched the baby make tiny movements.

"Thank you Faith I won't ever forget this favor and I haven't forgotten my promise either" he said quietly and wrote a check.

"Thank you for giving us happiness. The happiness that we've always wanted for forty years it really means a lot to both of us."

I gave them a small smile.

"You don't have to thank me sir. I am a woman as well. I know what it means to be barren and it's not easy" I said softly.

It's a real struggle and no woman should ever go through such pain.

I packed the cheque in my purse and sat on the bed giving them some privacy.

I couldn't cry in front of them. I had promised them a child and even if it hurts I won't go back on my word.

A few minutes later they picked everything for the baby and they were about to leave.

"Can I hold her one last time" I whispered.

The good sir nodded but his wife hesitated.

"Please..." she nodded quietly and handed me the baby.

I would certainly miss seeing her cute face and big blue eyes.

Saying goodbye forever was hard; it felt like a sword piercing my chest so painfully.

I kissed her forehead softly.

"I love you very much my darling and I will always miss you everyday."

Her father cleared her throat nervously indicating that it was time they went back home plus they had a flight to catch.

I kissed her one last time and gave her back to her new mother. Once they left and the door was shut I couldn't hold back the tears any more.

I slumped to the floor weakly, bitter tears rolled down my cheeks.

The light of my eyes was gone. I just hope that one day Marcus will meet his sister and share that brother and sister relationship.

It's my only wish.

Later that evening I went back home on foot. I needed time to think about where Marcus and I would go.

Mabel, my close friend froze when she saw me empty handed.

She grasped my arm.

"Faith where is your baby?" She asked in a worried tone and I broke down crying. She was never mine to keep it felt like I had sold her for money and that's what hurt me the most.

I sold my own daughter. I'm a really bad mother. I couldn't tell Mabel the truth she was my close friend ever since we were kids,but I would take this secret to the grave with me.

"She was born a still born Mabel my little girl didn't make it..." I whispered softly.

Mabel pulled me into a hug and I sobbed miserably.

"I know that you and Marcus have always wanted a girl for years. I'm really sorry Faith, '' she said quietly.

Mabel released me slowly. She encouraged me to be strong for Marcus and that everything happens for a reason.

I went home and took a long cold shower pondering what lie I had told Mabel.

"She was born a still born."

Considered dead hurt a lot but it was the only way to accept that she was going and she'll never come back.

Marcus and I would leave this town on his birthday next year; it was only three months away. I had enough time to plan our trip and he would celebrate his birthday in style for the first time.

We would be happy.