Chapter 4 Four

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RED.

I lost my sight in thin air, discerning about Eros words sensibly. I made up my mind countless times that there was nothing to deliberate about but there I was, back to the beginning, pondering about the same thing over and over again. I brushed my forehead slightly, my hands swept through my dark ringlets.

Could Eros be right, was this all hunger? I don't believe it, my coming back to this world couldn't have been just to justify another shameless desire.

I hated this woman.

She deceived me and I would never forgive her. How could she watch me die without lifting a finger to help? Even animals weren't as evil to their own kind.

"Perhaps, it's because I was never hers in the first place!" I moved my head when I heard her stiff-nimble footstep approach the table. I could tell she tried so hard to walk and do things like a ghost; she evidently, was terrified of me.

She laid the warm tray on the table before pouring out minute of the contents from the tea kettle as she put them in front of me. I reminisced a certain time when she downed some poison just to get closer to my heart. She almost killed herself just to attest to a lie of being devoted to me when she wasn't! How could anyone stoop to such an outrageous level of love?

In remembrance of that event, I seized the hot contents and flung it at her. I wasn't that idiot anymore!

She screamed when the hot content splashed on her laps, biting her lips in pain as she stepped away from me, pleasure frolicked on my lips as I surveyed her rub her lap in haste hoping to ease the pain.

Her face was red, tears were already forming in her eyes, the way she rubbed her laps when she administered to the aching part and the illumination in her eyes because of the tears now forming. This Sadin is driving me wild and I know it.

I walked over and pulled her bitterly with just a flex of my muscle and she shuddered in fear towards the grip I had on her arm.

She was pressed to my chest, so close that I could feel her heartbeat. I bet I melted way faster when I saw her innocent features once more, the tiny tears that tainted her sparkly, crystal eyes with the center, dark.

The swell of her red lips was just another test to see how far I could carry not kissing and biting with every second I had left.

The grip I had on her hand was soft and smooth, her fragrance conveyed when I hauled her to me, tussled in my senses as I could feel my heart beating like the time I first met her." I broke.

I surged her towards my torso once more and the voice of her disentanglement was what added to the fuel. I wrapped my arms around her lean waist before carrying her against me.

The voice told me not to continue, I would be her slave if I gave into her temptations, but I wasn't ready to listen to the true voice especially now when the warmth I'd been looking for was unraveling itself one after the other. This woman was all I wanted right now and I knew it well enough.

"Look at me, I said quietly." Her eyes were hesitant at the beginning; she was soaked in fear but knew she had to obey.

I had made it clear to her that the lives of her sisters where tied in my hands and so her teary eyes finally landed on mine. I saw something delicate, something not even present in Sage's eyes.

Could she be different? I cupped her face in my hand before kissing her slowly.

The touch of her lips before mine was full of honesty and the warmth I found made me feel so vulnerable. It was like, the walls I'd been building were crumpling and I couldn't do anything about it.

All my years of anxiety were being overlooked, I felt safe and loved after so many years.

Standing in front of me was the most innocent being I'd seen in my life. So obedient, it made my heart waver, that I thought what if she weren't Sage but the thought wasn't far lived when she screamed and pushed me away.

✰⍣✰

I shut my eyes after staring at the ceiling for too long, trying to nap and hoping not to see her cold eyes staring at me while I was being stabbed, heading for death. The reality was, these few days that the Sadin slept next to me brought me some kind of peace that I hadn't experienced in a long time.

Normally, I would either wake up half way through the night, sweating or panicking, incapable of falling asleep again.

I dredged up the voice of her scream and how she turned away from me, truly I didn't know what that was about.

My kisses may have been too scorching for her react to or my hands must have stroked her delicate parts but whatsoever it was, it made me recollect that she may still be recovering, so I stopped. It wasn't an easy verdict to make, but I had to if I wanted to keep her for a lengthy time.

I stared at the empty space where she normally laid, I wanted to drag her from wherever she was, and place her back here. This profanity of a woman, leave my heart alone!

She was dissimilar from Sage, like an innocent child that had just been brought into this world.

I thought, beholding the empty space beside me, envisioning how happy a man I would be if she were close to me right now, her small frame within my huge hands, caressing her lips till she fell asleep still in my arms. I was sinking again and I knew it. I was sinking on my knees again and hers' was far worse than Sage's. Weren't they the same people? The prophecy surely said she would come back.

"It couldn't be wrong." I paused when I perceived the whiff of smoke, and my heart raced to the innocent Sadin who was not here lying beside me! I flew up like a mad man and rushed out of the room towards the large flame of smoke that occupied the area.

I had many thoughts racing through my mind about her and when I finally saw her form. I hauled her out of the smolder and opened the doors widely before pushing a signal to alert the guards after pushing her into the study.

I alerted the guards to take care of the fire, and then, when the smoke had calmed down. I wanted to cough blood when I saw what was wedged in the little mix of the smoke-the written marriage ritual which had bonded the both of us as one! I leered in fury at the scene in front of me, including her cloth which had turned to ashes, a little part of the evidence.

Immediately, I ordered Savage to invite the Red manor's seamstress into the quarters. In my mind, a plan had already been formed, one that would teach her a firm lesson.

"I see what you want." I said to her when she was dressed in a modest white gown as there laid many others.

Actually, I had ordered three hundred of them, across me where every single one of the gowns arranged accordingly.

What are you waiting for? I spoke authoritatively while sitting on a stool in front of the seamstress."

"You may take your leave." I commanded the seamstress who couldn't wait to leave the scene for my wrath may be too harsh for her to take. I faced her before stating the words harshly.

"Start trying them out now, one after the other. I spat."

✰⍣✰

MAYA.

This was happening again? I was still recovering from his first assault, how could this be happening again? "Was there a way to stop it from occurring and even if I was able to, for how long?"

His cold eyes stared at me so intensely, not with hatred this time; there was passion everywhere in his eyes. I may have been living behind closed doors all my life, watching the world from a window but I knew between right and wrong. And it was wrong to take someone without consent, without asking...he saw me push against his chest. "It may have been a weak struggle but it was strong enough to catch his eye."

My feebleness didn't spell out consent, deep down in his heart he must know I was doing this only for my sisters, so how could he just pretend like it was okay.

"Yes, a Sadin caused his death in his past but she didn't mistreat him this way." Why can't he just do the same and kill me? His lips penetrated my opened mouth without a rest; his huge hands surrounded my smaller waist while he leaned into me.

Hard chest pressed against mine and I was scared being near his enveloping presence along with the constant feeling of his hand, roaming around my body.

His hands, still kneading my waist in a gentle but steady kiss took a hold of my bottom lip and sucked it slowly. He left kisses around my neck while adjusting me to his body that could consume me soon, due to the fact that I could already feel his hotness. Slowly, he pushed my gown to my thighs entering into the enclosed space between us.

Fear penetrated my mind, what if I felt that same pain like the last time? I shuddered, watching him slowly access me, his hands parading everywhere of my entire body leaving me with teary eyes and clenched fists. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the activity take place again and all of a sudden, before he dived into me, I screamed.

I couldn't take it! I closed my legs immediately and didn't dare to stare at him straight in the eyes. He stopped what he was doing and concentrated on me, my forehead was sweating, lips quivering. How would I explain why I screamed, would he know that I wasn't interested in him?

Unexpectedly, he laughed, falling near to me and placing his huge hands on my waist.

"This is what I need you for; this is what my settling of scores is all about until I toss you away."

He said in my ear before he departed from me. I turned away slowly knowing what he meant, hurt that he felt that way even after he didn't spare my dignity nor innocence.

It injured me that he almost claimed me once again and all he had in his head was revenge. It was because of this same revenge that my sisters were nowhere to be found, that I, a whole Sadin of my clan became a mere plaything.

Although, I felt accomplished too, my dignity was naught when it came to my sisters, how much dignity could a woman have?

I would sacrifice all of it, and then cry later. How would he understand that I did not hold any grudge or even plan on killing him like the past Sadin?

The reality is, it would be better to be lifeless than writhe every day, being conscious and alive when it happens.

It was making me weak and bitter. This bitterness didn't cling to him but it was in fact on me. I was feeling bitter because it was my body and when he was through, "it would be just me, my body and the remembrance of what took place."

I stood in front of the blue pond where the mirror image of the moon was displayed appealingly. I brushed over my arm, the sensation still fresh and scary like a nightmare.

This was my third round of sauntering, listening to the sound of my own footstep and every beat my heart made. I still felt his presence beside me, I'm still shivering just thinking about him, and you know what, it's quite painful. How could one man hold unto the outcome of many others? And apart from his entire wrath, the one that assaults me the most is, this is what I need you for?

His words played in my concentration once again. This shouldn't be aching to me but it was. My mother told me once that whoever was going to fall in love with me would be the happiest man alive; she said he would honor and respect me.

Like a priceless jewel. And I even flushed just thinking about it.

The reality that all of a sudden I was stuck in this Manor, defiled and turned into a plaything, his bauble before he killed me made me feel that mother lied to me. But yet, I had a greater obligation that would save and protect the lives of those who I am ordained to protect.

That is where my focus should be, his words are just words. I should pay more attention to his actions, how did I become this complicated? I said aloud. You really want the answer to that question? I jumped at the voice from behind; still trying to keep my posture, I instantly fell into the pond in a second.

This was the only cloth I had! I coughed out water, blowing my nose and hiccupping at the same time, watching the man who helped me get food from the kitchen laugh for I was drenched like a wet dog. What pushed you?

He asked squatting and watching me inside the pool, still trying to see past the blur. I had no inkling what to say to this absolute lunatic, but worse I will have none if Red sees me like this. This was the only cloth I had and now, I was soaked to the skin because of him.

These words I could only say in my pathetic mind. I came out of the water with great difficulty and after successfully coming out. I bent to address my wet gown, squeezing the hem but it wasn't enough to make me dry. He pointed a finger towards my saturated state.

"You look so cute in this way you know?" "It isn't funny, I said inaudibly before turning my back, walking away and squeezing water away from my hair."

Do you still have no idea who I am? I groaned in acute frustration. I know, facing him with distaste, so what? The complexities of their features were distinctive and I didn't think to commence my thoughts on his Red-like appearance.

Aren't you his brother? I decided not to mention his name. His brother? He asked, obviously knowing whom I was speaking about.

The owner of this Manor? He asked with a gleam of pride soaring in the air. I realized it was imprudent talking to him, and I'd rather find a solution to myself than waste my time here. I turned to leave but he held unto me. "What did I say wrong? He said defending his childishness." I stared at his features once again, his lips in a firm line but one that may perhaps curve into a smile.

The spray of happiness he had in his grey eyes, bursting with warmness. His grip on my hand was neither firm or strong but warm and acceptable.

Cold ran through me when I comprehended that Red came into this world once again just for retribution.

"A wound in his heart that never healed, all because of the Sadin they called me."

"I'm sorry for holding you like that; you don't need to have those watery eyes, he said releasing my hand from his." I didn't even realize it, I was crying again. I shouldn't have startled you like that and laughed at you.....I'm honestly sorry.

Do you forgive me? He asked, a wide smile plastered on his face. I nodded rather slowly, still trying to process his act of contrition.

"Good, can we be friends then? He asked."

"Maya..." I told him my name before turning away, inhaling deeply and walking off; nearing the human being I feared the most. I walked as slow as I could, hoping my clothes would dry a little. Despite my strategy to waste time, here I was standing in front of the Manor I was running from.

This is it!

I opened the door slowly, taking my usual quiet paces into the large room where my slim shadow was displayed on the floor. I walked slowly to the other opening which accommodated Red's study and before I reached the room.

I almost died when I saw he wasn't there. My life almost jumped out of my heart when I saw his gigantic shadow approach, moving to the bed where he laid down with his eyes closed. I moved from the pillar that I held unto for a substantial support into the outer empty surrounding which accommodated only the large fireplace.

I peeped into the room once more, and I was sure he was reposed when I removed my wet dress, stuck only in my underwear.

I squeezed the water still left in it and brought it closer to the fireside for some heat while I wrapped my arms on my body that shivered to the cold air.

I observed the dress close to the fire, and agreed in my mind that it was going to be a long night for me.