Chapter 4 No.4

"I don't get it, " Bootsy said, fidgeting with his shoelaces.

"Hold on a second, " James said. "If Dr. Jekyll is face up on the Dual Identity Card at the end of the game, all your J cards double in value. If Hide is up, your H cards double."

"Maybe we should play something simpler, " Mike suggested.

"That's against the rules, " James sighed. "You picked it, we started, now, we have to finish it."

"Feels like we been tryin' ta' finish it for twenty years, " Bootsy chuckled.

Mike and James traded a look then nodded in agreement. "Anyway, " James said, "The basics of this game are based on Rummy; players make melds with the Evidence cards of the same color, the Gavel cards, however, which don't meld, add a strategic element. Luckily, there's instructions on the cards, which remind you what they do."

While James kept talking, Bootsy grew agitated. He changed his sitting position various times before knocking over his soda can, which exploded in foam, covering Mike and James. They wiped the bubbles from their eyes and glared at the goofy kid. He smiled shyly, waving like a child by curling and uncurling the fingers of his hand.

"Sorry, fellas', " he said. "I don't know how to play Rummy."

"Well, you're gonna' learn!" James gave a formal nod.

"Fuck that, " Mike snipped. "This is for two players only. Let him deal."

"Yeah, alright; Bootsy, you deal, and make sure Motherfucker Mike doesn't cheat."

"Sure thing, pal, " Bootsy said, accepting the deck of cards.

He first pulled out the Dual Identity Card, and laid it upright to reveal Mr. Hide. Thunder echoed from outside. The lights flickered, causing Mike and Bootsy to recoil. For only a second, as the darkness came and went, James had appeared to the them a nerdy man, an angry nerd wearing a buttoned, white collared shirt complete with pens in a pocket guard, a set of eye glasses, no hat, and a malicious grin.

"What, " James asked.

"N-nothing, " Mike said.

"Deal the cards, Bootsy!"

Again, thunder rumbled through the basement; there was definitely a storm raging outside, not that any of them ever went outside; they were a rather dorky bunch. Bootsy dealt the players each ten cards. At the end of the first hand, James had four Robert Louis Stevenson cards for twelve points, three Mr. Utterson cards, which added up to another six points because the Hide card was face up, three Poole the Butler cards for twelve points, and six more points from three Dr. Jekyll's Theory cards.

"Cool beans, " Bootsy said. "James has thirty six points."

"Wait a minute, " James said slowly. Frowning so immensely the corners of his lips reached his jaw, he laid down the Transformation card, becoming Hide, and changing his six point meld of Poole the Butler cards to a twelve point meld. "That's forty two points, assholes!"

"Why we gotta' be assholes, " Mike asked.

"I'll fuckin' tell you why, dick shit, " James growled, and again, thunder shook the basement, the lights flickered, and James's appearance shifted to that of a most angry nerd. "Because this game is fuckin' caca-dookie; it's a bunch of fuckin' buffalo, diarrhea, dog shit!" It's, it's, it's–"

"James, " the others yelled in unison.

"Oh, uh...sorry, " the game reviewer said, shaking his head. He then noticed the glasses in one hand and his hat in the other. He got up and ran off, saying, "Just find another game!"

Leaving his buddies for a moment, he approached the basement sink, the one with the Mr. Bucket toy. Running some water over his hands, he splashed his face, and looked in the mirror.

"Board James, " the nerd taunted from within the mirror.

"No, " James shook his head, but the nerd nodded. "Leave me alone. You...me, we're not...."

"We're not what, James? The same? Oh, yes, we are; people, all people are a commingling of good and evil. You know what you have to do."

"Shut up! Leave me alone!"

"James, " Mike called. "Who the fuck are you talkin' to?"

"No one! Did you guys pick a game?"

"Candy Land?" Bootsy shouted. "Ouch! James, Mike hit me."

"Good, " James said.

"We still have to finish Rummy. Someone has to get a hundred points, " Mike declared.

"Yeah, that's right, " the nerd grinned, his eyes shining with delight. "Go in there and...finish the game."