Chapter 10 THE PROPHET AND MALKIEL THE SECOND CONVERSE BY TELEGRAM

"Hennessey Vivian, 1000 Berkeley Square, W.

"Please wire result of last night's observations from eleven till three inclusive.-Sagittarius."

"Jupiter Sagittarius, Sagittarius Lodge, Crampton St. Peter, N.

"Impossible wire result, will write at length after taking further observations to-night.-Vivian."

"Certainly write at length, but meanwhile wire all important results in condensed form.-Sagittarius."

"Results not sufficiently important to wire, letter without fail to-morrow.-Vivian."

"Never mind unimportance, wire whatever results obtained.-Sagittarius."

"On consideration think results too important to wire, will explain by letter.-Vivian."

"Your second and third wires in direct contradiction; kindly reconcile opposing statements.-Sagittarius."

"Cannot reconcile by wire, will do so by letter.-Vivian."

"Then meanwhile request forecast of grandmother so far as gathered last night.-Sagittarius."

"Quite impossible discuss grandmother by wire.-Vivian."

"Not at all; couch in careful terms, shall understand; no need put grandmother's name.-Sagittarius."

"Quite impossible; grandmother too sacred for treatment by wire, long and full letter to-morrow.-Vivian."

"Absurd! Call her Harry and wire her future as obtained last night; shall understand.-Sagittarius."

"Cannot possibly consent call grandmother Harry; pray cease; succession of telegraph boys to house attracting general attention in square.-Vivian."

"Must insist; then call her Susan and wire.-Sagittarius."

"Cannot possibly consent to call her Susan; discussion of such matter by wire not decent; regret must absolutely decline.-Vivian."

"Madame and self insulted by accusation not decent; demand explanation and apology.-Sagittarius."

"Regret; no desire give pain to lady, but this must cease; grandmother and square seriously upset by procession of telegraph boys.-Vivian."

"Cannot help square and grandmother; must have last night's result to compare with own observation of grandmother with crab and scorpion.-Sagittarius."

"Pray cease; would rather die than discuss grandmother with crab and scorpion by wire.-Vivian."

"Rubbish! Call crab Susan, scorpion Jane, grandmother Harry, and wire; absolutely insist.-Sagittarius."

"Absolutely decline discuss crab, scorpion and grandmother by wire; final.-Vivian.

"Scandalous! not behaviour of gentleman; Madame cut to heart; infamous.-Sagittarius."

"Mater familiaris pallidibus ira.-Madame Sagittarius."

"If receive no reply as to grandmother and crab, et cetera, shall start at once for Square.-Jupiter and Madame Sagittarius."

"On no account trouble come up; going out immediately; important engagement.-Vivian."

"Madame putting on boots.-Sagittarius."

"Utterly useless put on boots; leaving house.-Vivian."

"Madame boots on; tying bonnet.-Sagittarius."

"Totally useless tie bonnet; absolutely forced leave house.-Vivian."

"Madame in pelisse; shall come in wait till your return.-Sagittarius."

"Regret pelisse; quite useless; out till late evening.-Vivian."

"Shall stay till whatever hour; have on hat and bonnet now; starting.-Jupiter and Madame Sagittarius."

"For Heaven's sake don't; will wire whatever you wish.-Vivian."

"Don't. Ankles perhaps catching; dangerous Capricornus.-Vivian."

"Have you started?-Vivian."

"Have not started, but at threshold of door; wire full explanation of crab with grandmother, et cetera, last night or shall start instanter.-Jupiter and Madame Sagittarius."

"Truth is very little result last night; did not see crab with grandmother; deeply regret.-Vivian."

"Then wire result of scorpion with grandmother.-Sagittarius."

"Very sorry did not see scorpion with grandmother.-Vivian."

"Impossible; believe stars out; clear sky; self and Madame distinctly observed crab and scorpion with grandmother for four hours.-Sagittarius."

"On honour did not see crab, scorpion or grandmother.-Vivian."

"Then has grandmother passed over?-Sagittarius."

"Certainly not, but no result; pray cease discussion, grandmother and square distracted by incessant uproar of boys at door.-Vivian."

"Leaving house; with you as soon as possible.-Jupiter and Madame Sagittarius."

"Heaven's sake don't; tell truth; did not look through telescope at all last night.-Vivian."

"What meaning of this swore oath broken; no gentleman; coming at once for explanation.-Jupiter and Madame Sagittarius."

"Stop; sending boy messenger with full explanation; severe accident last night, injured head, so unable look for crab, grandmother and scorpion.-Vivian."

"Astounded, upset, Madame says not conduct gentleman; might have seen crab, grandmother and scorpion with injured head; mere excuse-caput mortuus decrepitum cancer.-Sagittarius."

"Pray excuse; look to-night without fail; Heaven's sake cease writing; grandmother and whole square amazement, confusion; shall go mad if continues.-Vivian."

"Very well, but insist on full letter; confidence in oath much shaken; wires most shifty; gross neglect of crab, grandmother and scorpion.-Sagittarius."

"Homo miserum sed magnum est veritatus et praevalebetur.-Madame Sagittarius."