Chapter 4 No.4

A merry morning, Eugenio. Did not soft slumbers and pleasant dreams follow the heart-stirring lucubrations of Uncle Timothy? I am mistaken if you rose not lighter and happier, and in more perfect peace with yourself and the world."

"My dreams were of ancient minstrelsy, Christmas gambols, May-day games, and merriments. Methought Uncle Timothy was a portly Apollo, Mr. Bosky a rosy Pan-"

"And you and I, Eugenio?"

"Foremost in the throng-"

"Of capering satyrs! Well, though our own dancing * days are over, we still retain a relish for that elegant accomplishment.

* There were rare dancing doings at The original dancing

room at the field-end of King-Street, Bloomsbury,.

in the year 1742

Hickford's great room, Panton-Street, Haymarket, 1743

Mitre Tavern, Charing-Cross,... 1743

Barber's Hall,.... 1745

Richmond Assembly,.... 1745

Lambeth Wells,.....1747

Duke's long room, Paternoster-Row,.. 1748

Large Assembly Room at the Two Green Lamps, near Exeter

Change, (at the particular desire of Jubilee Diekey!).... in

the year 1749 The large room next door to the Hand and

Slippers, Long-Lane, West Smithfield,... 1750 Lambeth Wells,

where a Penny Wedding, in the Scotch manner, was celebrated

for the benefit of a young couple,......1752 Old Queen's

Head, in Cock-Lane, Lambeth,. 1755 and at Mr. Bell's, at the

sign of the Ship, in the Strand, where, in 1755, a Scotch

Wedding was kept. The bride "to be dressed without any

linen; all in ribbons, and green flowers, with Scotch masks.

There will be three bag-pipes; a band of Scotch music, &c.

&c. To begin precisely at two o'clock. Admission, two

shillings and sixpence."

As antiquaries, we have a reverence for dancing. Noah danced before the ark. The boar's head and the wine and wassail were crowned with a dance to the tune of 'The Black Almayne,' 'My Lorde Marques Galyarde,' and 'The firste Traces of due Passa.'

'Merrily danc'd the Quaker's wife,

And merrily danc'd the Quaker!'

Why not? Orpheus charmed the four-footed family with his fiddle: shall it have less effect on the two?

"The innocent and the happy, while the dews of youth are upon them, dance to the music of their own hearts. 'See the blind beggar dance, the cripple sing!' The Irishman has his lilt; the Scotchman his reel, which he not unfrequently dances to his own particular fiddle! and the Englishman his country-dance.

Original

With dogs and bears, horses and geese, * game-cocks and monkeys exhibiting their caprioles, shall man be motionless and mute?

* There is an odd print of "Vestris teaching a goose to

dance." The terms, for so fashionable a professor as he was

in his day, are extremely moderate; "Six guineas entrance,

and one guinea a lesson." The following song is inscribed

underneath.

"Of all the fine accomplishments sure dancing far the best

is,

But if a doubt with you remains, behold the Goose and

Vestris;.

And a dancing we will go, will go, &c.

Let men of learning plead and preach; their toil 'tis all in

vain,

Sure, labour of the heels and hands is better than the

brain:

And a dancing, &c.

Then talk no more, ye men of arts, 'bout keeping light and

shade,

Good understanding in the heels is better than the head:

And a dancing, &c.

Great Whigs, and eke great Tories too, both in and out will

dance,

Join hands, change sides, and figure in, now sink, and now

advance.

And a dancing, &c.

Let Oxford boast of ancient lore, and Cam of classic rules,

Noverre might lay you ten to one his heels against your

schools!

And a dancing, &c.

Old Homer sung of gods and kings in most heroic strains,

Yet scarce could get, we have been told, a dinner for his

pains.

And a dancing, &c.

Poor Milton wrote the most sublime, 'gainst Satan, Death, and

Vice,

But very few would quit a dance to purchase Paradise.

And a dancing, &c.

The soldier risks health, life, and limbs, his fortune to

advance,

While Pique and Vestris fortunes make by one night's single

dance.

And a dancing, &c.

'Tis all in vain to sigh and grieve, or idly spend our

breath,

Some millions now, and those unborn, must join the dance of

death.

And a dancing, &c.

Yet while we live let's merry be, and make of care a jest,

Since we are taught what is, is right; and what is right is

best!

And a dancing, &c.

Sweetly singeth the tea-kettle; merrily danceth the parched pea on the fire-shovel! Even grim Death has his dance."

"And music, Eugenio, in which I know you are an enthusiast. The Italians have a proverb,

'Whom God loves not, that man loves not music.' The soul is said to be music.

'But, whilst this muddy vesture of decay

Doth grossly close it in, we cannot hear it.'

"Haydn used to say that without melody the most learned and singular combinations are but unmeaning, empty sound. What but the simplicity and tenderness of the Scotch and Irish airs constitutes their charm? This great composer was so extravagantly fond of Scotch, Irish, and Welsh melodies, that he harmonised many of them, and had them hung up in frames in his room. We remember to have heard somewhere of an officer in a Highland regiment, who was sent with a handful of brave soldiers to a penal settlement in charge of a number of convicts; the Highlanders grew sick at heart; the touching strains of 'Lochaber nae mair.' heard far from home, made them so melancholy, that the officer in command forbade its being played by the band.

So, likewise, with the national melody, the 'Rans-des-Vaches' among the Swiss mountaineers. When sold by their despotic chiefs, and torn from their dearest connexions, suicide and desertion were so frequent when this melody was played, that orders were issued in all their regiments, prohibiting any one from playing an air of that kind on pain of death. La maladie du pays,-that sickening after home! But Handel's music has received more lasting and general applause than that of any other composer. By Boyce and Battishall his memory was adored; Mozart was enthusiastic in his praise; Haydn could not listen (who can?) to his glorious Messiah * without weeping; and Beethoven has been heard to declare, that were he ever to come to England he should uncover his head, and kneel down at his tomb!

* Bishop Ken says,

"Sweet music with blest poesy began,

Congenial both to angels and to Man,

Song was the native language to rehearse

The elevations of the soul in verse:

And through succeeding ages, all along,

Saints praised the Godhead in devoted song."

And he adds in plain prose, that the Garden of Eden was no

stranger to "singing and the voice of melody." Jubal was the

"father of those who handled the harp and organ." Long-

before the institution of the Jewish church, God received

praise both by the human voice and the "loud timbrel and

when that church was in her highest prosperity, King David

seems to have been the composer of her psalmody-both poetry

and music. He occupied the orchestra of the temple, and

accounted it a holy privilege "to play before the Lord" upon

"the harp with a solemn sound." Luther said, "I verily think

that, next to divinity, no art is comparable to music."

And what a glorious specimen of this divine art is his

transcendant "Hymn!" breathing the most awful grandeur, the

deepest pathos, the most majestic adoration! The Puritans-

devils and Puritans hate music-are piously economical in

their devotions, and eschew the principle "not to give unto

the Lord that which costs us nothing!" Their gift is

snuffled through the "vocal nose"-"O most sweet voices!"

"Blessings on the memory of the bard, * and 'Palms eternal flourish round his urn,' who first struck his lyre to celebrate the wooden walls of unconquered and unconquerable Merrie England! If earth hide him,

'May angels with their silver wings o'ershade

The ground, now sacred by his reliques made

if ocean cover him, calm be the green wave on its surface! May his spirit find rest where souls are blessed, and his body be shrined in the holiest cave of the deep and silent sea!"

* A few old amateurs of music and mirth may possibly

remember Collins's Evening Brush, that rubbed off the rust

of dull care from the generation of 1790. His bill comprised

"Actors of the old school and actors of the new; tragedy

tailors, and butchers in heroics; bell-wethers in buskins,

wooden actors, petticoat caricatures, lullaby jinglers,

bogglers and blunderers, buffoons in blank-verse, &c. &c."

The first of the three Dibdins opened a shop of merriment at

the Sans Souci, where he introduced many of his beautiful

ballads, and sang them to his own tunes. The navy of England

owe lasting obligations to this harmonious Three. It

required not the aid of poetry and music (and how

exquisitely has Shield set the one to the other!) to

stimulate our gallant seamen; but it needed much to awaken

and keep alive enthusiasm on shore, and elevate their moral

character-for landsmen "who live at home at ease/' were

wont to consider the sailor as a mere tar-barrel, a sea-

monster. How many young bosoms have been inspired by the

lyrics of the three Dibdins! What can surpass the homely

pathos of "I thought my heart would break when I sang, Yo!

heave O!"

"The Last Whistle" and "Here, a sheer hulk, lies poor Tom

Bowling!" stirring the manly heart like the sound of a

trumpet! It is wise to infuse the amorpatri? into popular

amusements; national songs work wonders among the million.

In Little Russia, no sooner are the postilions mounted for a

journey, than they begin to hum a patriotic air, which often

continues for hours without intermission. The soldiers sing

during a long and fatiguing march; the peasant lightens his

labour in the same manner; and in a still evening the air

vibrates with the cheerful songs of the surrounding

villages.

"'Hark! the lark at Heaven's gate sings.'"

"I was not unmindful of the merry chorister! But the lark has made a pause; and I have your promise of a song. Now is the time to fill up the one, and to fulfil the other."

EUGENIO'S SONG.=

"Sweet is the breath of early morn

That o'er yon heath refreshing blows:

And sweet the blossom on the thorn,

The violet blue, the blushing rose.

When mounts the lark on rapid wing,

How sweet to sit and hear him sing!

No carols like the feathered choir,

Such happy, grateful thoughts inspire.

Here let the spirit, sore distress'd,

Its vanities and wishes close:

The weary world is not the rest

Where wounded hearts should seek repose.

But, hark! the lark his merry strain,

To heav'n high soaring, sings again.

Be hush'd, sweet songster! ev'ry voice

That warbles not like thee-Rejoice!"

"Short and sad! Eugenio. We must away from these bewitching solitudes, or thy note will belong more to the nightingale than to the lark! Let imagination carry thee back to the reign of Queen Anne, when the Spectator and Sir Roger de Coverley embarked at the Temple-Stairs on their voyage to Vauxhall. We pass over the good knight's religious horror at beholding what a few steeples rose on the west of Temple-Bar; and the waterman's wit, (a common thing in those days, * ) that made him almost wish himself a Middlesex magistrate!

* What a sledge-hammer reply was Doctor Johnson's to an

aquatic wag upon a similar occasion. "Fellow! your mother,

under the pretence (!!!) of keeping a ------ is a

receiver of stolen goods!"

'We were now arrived at Spring Garden says the Spectator, 'which is exquisitely pleasant at this time of the year. When I considered the fragrancy of the walks and bowers, with the choir of birds that sang upon the trees, and the loose tribe of people that walked under their shades, I could not but look upon the place as a kind of Mahometan paradise. Sir Roger told me it put him in mind of a little coppice by his house in the country, which his chaplain used to call an aviary of nightingales.' "And mark in what primitive fashion they concluded their walk, with a glass of Burton ale and a slice of hung-beef!

"Bonnel Thornton furnishes a ludicrous account of a stingy old citizen, loosening his purse-strings to treat his wife and family to Vauxhall; and 'Colin's * 'Description to his wife of Greenwood Hall, or the pleasures of Spring Gardens,' gives a lively picture of what this modern Arcadia was a century ago.

1 May 20, 1712.

* 'Mary! soft in feature,

I've been at dear Vauxhall;

No paradise is sweeter,

Not that they Eden call.

At night such new vagaries,

Such gay and harmless sport;

All look'd like giant fairies,

At this their monarch's court.

Methought when first I enter'd,

Such splendours round me shone,

Into a world I ventured

Where rose another sun:

Whilst music, never cloying,

As skylarks sweet I hear;

The sounds I'm still enjoying,

They 'll always soothe my ear.

Here paintings, sweetly glowing,

Where'er our glances fall,

Here colours, life bestowing,

Bedeck this green-wood hall!

The king there dubs a farmer,

There John his doxy loves;*

But my delight's the charmer

Who steals a pair of gloves!

As still amazed, I'm straying

O'er this enchanted grove;

I spy a harper playing

All in his proud alcove.

I doff my hat, desiring

He'd tune up Buxom Joan;

But what was I admiring?

Odzooks! a man of stone.

But now the tables spreading,

They all fall to with glee;

Not e'en at Squire's fine wedding

Such dainties did I see!

I long'd (poor starveling rover!)

But none heed country elves;

These folk, with lace daub'd over,

Love only dear themselves.

Thus whilst, 'mid joys abounding,

As grasshoppers they're gay;

At distance crowds surrounding

The Lady of the May.

The man i' th' moon tweer'd slily,

Soft twinkling through the trees,

As though 'twould please him highly

To taste delights like these." **

But its days are numbered. The axe shall be laid to the roots of its beautiful trees; its green avenues turned into blind alleys;

* Alluding to the three pictures in the Pavilions,-viz. the

King and the Miller of Mansfield,-Sailors in a tippling

house in Wapping,-and the girl stealing a kiss from a

sleepy gentleman.

** The statue of Handel.

its variegated lamps give place to some solitary gas-burner, to light the groping inhabitants to their dingy homes; and the melodious strains of its once celebrated vocalists be drowned in the dismal ditty of some ballad-singing weaver, and the screeching responses of his itinerant family. What would the gallant Mr. Lowe and his sprightly Euphrosyne, Nan Catley, say, could they be told to what "base uses" their harmonious groves are condemned to be turned?

* Her Royal Highness the Princess of Wales sitting under her

splendid Pavilion.

Truly their wonder would be on a par with Paganini's, should ever that musical magician encounter on the other side Styx "My Lord Skaggs and his Broomstick!" *

* This celebrated professor played on his musical broomstick

at the Haymarket Theatre, November 1751.

"Each buck and jolly fellow has heard of Skegginello

The famous Skegginello, that grunts so pretty

Upon his broomstieado, such music he has made, O,

'Twill spoil the fiddling trade, O,

And that's a pity!

But have you heard or seen, O, his phiz so pretty,

In picture shops so grin, O,

With comic nose and chin, O,

Who'd think a man could shine so At Eh, Eh, Eh, Eh?"

There is a curious Tobacco Paper of Skaggs playing on his

broomstick in full concert with a jovial party! One of the

principal performers is a good-humoured looking gentleman

beating harmony out of the salt-box.

** Certain utilitarians affect to ridicule this ancient

civic festival, on the score of its parade, right-royally

ridiculous! and gross gluttony-as if the corporation of

London were the only gourmands who had offered sacrifices to

Apicius, and died martyrs to good living! We have been at

some pains to peep into the dining-parlours of the ancients,

and from innumerable examples of gastronomy have selected

the following, which prove that the epicures of the olden

time yielded not in taste and voracity to their brethren of

the new:-

The emperor Septimus Severus died of eating and drinking too

much. Valentinianus went off in a surfeit. Lucullus being

asked one day by his attendant, what company he had invited

to his feast, seeing so many dainties prepared, answered,

"Lucullus shall dine with Lucullus?" Vitellius Spinter was

so much given to gluttony, that at one supper he was served

with two thousand several kinds of fishes, and with seven

thousand flying fowl. Maximilian devoured, in one day, forty

pounds of solid meat, which he washed down with a hogshead

of wine. The emperor Geta continued his festival for three

days, and his dainties were introduced in alphabetical

order. Philoxenes wished he had a neck like a crane, that

the delicious morsels might be long in going down. Lucullus,

at a costly feast he gave to certain ambassadors of Asia,

among other trifles, took to his own cheek a griph (query

Griffin'!) boiled, and a fat goose in paste. Hercules and

Lepreas had a friendly contest, which could, in quickest

time, eat up a whole ox; Hercules won, and then challenged

his adversary to a drinking bout, and again beat him hollow.

If the Stoic held that the goal of life is death, and that

we live but to learn to die-if the Pythagorean believed in

the transmigration of souls, and scrupled to shoot a

woodcock lest he should dispossess the spirit of his

grandam-how much more rational was the doctrine of the

Epicurean, (after such a goodly catalogue of gormandizers!)

that there was no judgement to come.

Who has not heard of Guildhall on Lord Mayor's Day, ** and the Easter Ball at the Mansion-House? But we profane not the penetralia where even Common-Councilmen fear to tread! The City Marshals, and men in armour (Héros malgré eux!); the pensive-looking state-coachmen, in all the plumpness, pomp, and verdure of prime feeding, wig, and bouquet; the postilion, "a noticeable man," with velvet cap and jockey boots; the high-bred and high-fed aristocracy of the Poultry and Cheapside, and their Banquet, which might tempt Diogenes to blow himself up to such a pitch of obesity, that, instead of living in a tub, a tub might be said to live in him, are subjects too lofty for plebeian handling. C?sar was told to beware of the Ides of March; and are not November fogs equally ominous to the London citizen? If, then, by some culinary magic, he can be induced to cram his throat rather than to cut it,-to feast himself instead of the worms,-to prefer a minuet in the Council Chamber to the Dance Macabre in the shades below,-the gorgeous anniversaries of Gog and Magog have not been celebrated in vain. *

* "Search all chronicles, histories, and records, in what

language or letter soever,-let the inquisitive man waste

the deere treasures of his time and eye-sight,-he shall

conclude his life only in this certainty, that there is no

subject upon earth received into the place of his government

with the like state and magnificence as is the Lord Maior of

the Citty of London." This was said by the author of the

"Triumphs of Truth" in 1613. The following list of City

Poets will show that the office was not an unimportant one

in the olden time: George Peele; Anthony Munday; Thomas

Dekker; Thomas Middleton; John Squire; John Webster; Thomas

Heywood; John Taylor (the Water-Poet, one of Ben Jonson's

adopted poetical sons, and a rare slang fellow); Edward G ay

ton, and T. B. (of the latter nothing is known), both

Commonwealth bards; John Tatham; Thomas Jordan; Matthew

Taubman, and Elkanah Settle, the last of the poetical

parsons who wedded Lord Mayors and Aldermen to immortal

verse. One of the most splendid of these anniversary

pageants was "London's Triumph; or, the Solemn and

Magnificent reception of that Honourable Gentleman, Robert

Titeliburn, Lord Maior, after his return from taking his

oath at Westminster, the morrow after Simon and Jude day,

being October 29, 1656. With the Speeches spoken at Foster-

lane-end and Soper-lane-end."-"In the first place," (says

the City Poet T. B.) "the loving members of the honourable

societie exercising arms in Cripplegate Ground being drawn

up together, march'd in a military order to the house of my

Lord Maior, where they attended on him, and from thence

march'd before him to the Three Crane Wharfe, where part of

them under the red colours embarqued themselves in three

severall barges; and another part took water at Stone

Staires, being under green colours, as enemies to the other;

and thence wafting to the other side of the water, there

began an encounter between each party, which continued all

the way to Westminster; a third body, consisting of pikes

and musquets, march'd to Bainard's Castle, and there from

the battlements of the castle gave thundering echoes to the

vollies of those that pass'd along the streame. Part before

and part behind went the severall barges, with drums

beating, and trumpets sounding, and varietie of other musiek

to take the eare, while the flags and silver pendents made a

pleasant sight delectable to the beholders.

"After these came severall gentlemen-ushers adorn'd with

gold eliaines; behind them certaine rich batelielours,

wearing gownes furr'd with foynes, and upon them sattin

hoods; and lastly after them, followed the Worshipfull

Company of Skinners itself, whereof the Lord Maior is a

member. Next these, the city officers passing on before,

rode the Lord Maior with the Sword, Mace, and Cap of

Maintenance before him, being attended by the Recorder, and

all the aldermen in scarlet gowns on horseback. (Aldermen on

horseback!!) Thus attended, he rode from Bainard's Castle

into

Cheapside, the Companies standing on both sides of the way

as far as the upper end of the Old Jury, ready to receive

him. When he was come right against the old Change, a

pageant seem'd to meet him. On the pageant stood two

leopards bestrid by two Moors, attir'd in the habit of their

country; at the foure corners sate foure virgins arraid in

cloth of silver, with their haire dishriveld, and coronets

on their heads. This seem'd to be the embleme of a city

pensive and forlorn, for want of a zealous governor: the

Moors and leopards, like evill customs tyrannizing over the

weak virginitie of undefended virtue; which made an aged

man, who sate at the fore part of the pageant, mantled in a

black garment, with a dejected countenance, seem to bewaile

the condition of his native city; but thus he remaind not

long: for at the approach of the Lord Maior, as if now he

had espy'd the safety of his country, he threw off his

mourning weeds, and with the following speech made known the

joy he had for the election of so happy and just a

magistrate.

"The speech being spoken, the first pageant past on before

the Lord Maior as far as Mercers' Chappel; a gyant being

twelve foot in height going before the pageant for the

delight of the people. Over against Soper-lane End stood

another pageant also; upon this were plac'd severall sorts

of beasts, as lyons, tygers, bears, leopards, foxes, apes,

monkeys, in a great wildernesse; at the forepart whereof

sate Pan with a pipe in his hand; in the middle was a

canopie, at the portal whereof sate Orpheus in an antique

attire, playing on his harp, while all the beasts seem'd to

dance at the sound of his melody. Under the canopie sate

four satyrs playing on pipes. The embleme of this pageant

seem'd proper to the Company out of which the Lord Maior was

elected; putting the spectators in mind how much they ought

to esteem such a calling, as clad the Judges in their

garments of honour, and Princes in their robes of majestic,

and makes the wealthy ladies covet winter, to appear clad in

their sable funs. A second signification of this emblem may

be this,-that as Orpheus tam'd the wild beasts by the

alluring sound of his melody, so doth a just and upright

governor tame and govern the wild affections of men, by good

and wholesome lawes, causing a general joy and peace in the

place where he commands. Which made Orpheus, being well

experienced in this truth, to address himself to the Lord

Maior in these following lines.

"The speech being ended, the Lord Maior rode forward to his

house in Silver Street, the military bands still going

before him. When he was in this house, they saluted him with

two volleys of shot, and so marching again to their ground

in Cripple-gate Churchyard, they lodg'd their colours; and

as they began, so concluded this dayes triumph."

When the barges wherein the soldiers were, came right

against Whitehall, they saluted the Lord Protector and his

Council with several rounds of musketry, which the Lord

Protector answered with "signal testimonies of grace and

cour-tesie." And returning to Whitehall, after the Lord

Mayor had taken the oath of office before the Barons of the

Exchequer, they saluted the Lord Protector with "another

volley" The City of London had been actively instrumental in

the deposition and death of King Charles the First, and

Cromwell could not do less than acknowledge, with some show

of respect, the blank cartridges of his old friends. The

furr'd gowns and gold chains, however, made the amende

honorable, when they "jumped Jim Crow," and helped to

restore King Charles the Second.

But Easter-Monday was not made only for the city's dancing dignitaries. It draws up the curtain of our popular merriments; and Whit-Mon-day, * not a whit less merry, trumpets forth their joyous continuation.

* June 9, 1786. On Whit-Tuesday was celebrated at Hendon in

Middlesex, a burlesque imitation of the Olympic Games.

One prize was a gold-laced hat, to be grinned for by six

candidates, who were placed on a platform, with horses'

collars to exhibit through. Over their heads was printed in

capitals,

Detur Tetriori; or

The ugliest grinner

Shall be the winner.

Each party grinned five minutes solus, and then all united

in a grand chorus of distortion. This prize was carried by a

porter to a vinegar merchant, though he was accused by his

competitors of foul play, for rinsing his mouth with

verjuice. The whole was concluded by a hog, with his tail

shaved and soaped, being let loose among nine peasants; any

one of which that could seize him by the queue, and throw

him across his shoulders, was to have him for a reward. This

occasioned much sport: the animal, after running some miles,

so tired his hunters that they gave up the chase in despair.

A prodigious concourse of people attended, among whom were

the Tripoline Ambassador, and several other persons of

distinction.

We hail the return of these festive seasons when the busy inhabitants of Lud's town and its suburbs, in spite of hard times, tithes, and taxes, repair to the royal park of Queen Bess to divert their melancholy! We delight to contemplate the mirthful mourners in their endless variety of character and costume; to behold the forlorn holiday-makers hurrying to the jocund scene, to participate in those pleasures which the genius of wakes, kindly bounteous, prepares for her votaries. *

* On the Easter-Monday of 1840, the Regent's Park, Primrose

Hill, and the adjoining fields, presented one merry mass of

animated beings. At Chalk Farm there was a regular fair,-

with swings, roundabouts, ups-and-downs, gingerbread-stalls,

theatres, donkey-races, penny chaises, and puppet-shows,

representing the Islington murder, the Queen's marriage, the

arrival of Prince Albert, and the departure of the Chartist

rioters! Hampstead Heath, and the surrounding villages,

turned out their studs of Jerusalem ponies. Copenhagen

House, Hornsey Wood House and the White Conduit, echoed with

jollity; the holiday-makers amusing themselves with cricket,

fives, and archery. How sweetly has honest, merry Harry

Carey described the origin of "Sally in our Alley" which

touelied the heart of Addison with tender emotion, and

called forth his warmest praise. "A shoemaker's 'prentice,

making holiday with his sweetheart, treated her with a sight

of Bedlam, the puppet-shows, the flying-chairs, and all the

elegancies of Moorfields, from whence proceeding to the

Farthing Pye-house, he gave her a collation of buns,

cheese-cakes, gammon of bacon, stuffed beef, and bottled

ale; through all which scenes the author dodged them.

Charmed with the simplicity of their courtship, he drew from

what he had witnessed this little sketch of Nature."

The gods assembled on Olympus presented not a more glorious sight than the laughing divinities of One-Tree-Hill!

Original

What an animated scene! Hark to the loud laugh of some youngsters that have had their roll and tumble. Yonder is a wedding party from the neighbouring village. See the jolly tar with his true blue jacket and trousers, checked shirt, radiant with a gilt brooch as big as a crown piece, yellow straw-hat, striped stockings, and pumps; and his pretty bride, with her rosy cheeks and white favours. How light are their heels and hearts! And the blythesome couples that follow in their train-noviciates in the temple of Hymen, but who ere long will be called upon to act as principals! All is congratulation, good wishes, and good humour. Scandal is dumb; envy dies for the day; disappointment gathers hope; and one wedding, like a fool, or an Irish wake, shall make many.

"O yes! O yes! O yes!

When the peripatetic pieman rings his bell

At morning, noon, or when you sit at eve;

Ladies and gentlemen, I guess

It needs no ghost to tell,

In song, recitative,

He warbles cakes and gingerbread to sell!

Tarts of gooseberry, raspberry, cranberry;

Rare bonne-bouches brought from Banbury;

Puffs and pie-ses

Of all sorts and sizes;

Ginger beer,

That won't make you queer,

Like the treble X ale of Taylor and Hanbury!"

"Here, good Christians, are five Reasons why you shouldn't go to a fair, published by the London Lachrymose Society for the suppression of fun."

"And here, good Christians, are five-and-fifty why you should! published by my Lord Chancellor Cocke Lorel, President of the High Court of Mummery, and Conscience-keeper to his merry Majesty of Queerumania, for the promotion of jollity."

One of the better order of mendicants, on whose smooth, pale brow, hung the blossoms of the grave, arrested our attention with the following madrigal which pleased us, inasmuch as it seemed to smack of the olden time.

"I love but only one

And thou art only she

That loves but only one-

Let me that only be!

Requite me with the like,

And say thou unto me

Thou lov'st but only one,

And I am only he!"

"Cold comfort this, broiling and frying under a burning hot sun!" soliloquized a blind ballad-singer. And, having two strings to his bow, and one to his fiddle, he put a favourite old tune to the rack, and enforced us to own the soft impeachment of

THE BALLAD SINGER'S APOLOGY FOR GREENWICH FAIR.=

Up hill and down hill, 'tis always the same;

Mankind ever grumbling, and fortune to blame!

To fortune, 'tis uphill, ambition and strife;

And fortune obtain'd-then the downhill of life!

We toil up the hill till we reach to the top;

But are not permitted one moment to stop!

O how much more quick we descend than we climb!

There's no locking fast the swift wheels of Old Time.

Gay Greenwich! thy happy young holiday train

Here roll down the hill, and then mount it again.

The ups and downs life has bring sorrow and care;

But frolic and mirth attend those at the fair.

My Lord May'r of London, of high city lineage,

His show makes us glad with, and why shouldn't

Greenwich?

His gingerbread coach a crack figure it cuts!

And why shouldn't we crack our gingerbread nuts?

Of fashion and fame, ye grandiloquent powers,

Pray take your full swing-only let us take ours!

If you have grown graver and wiser, messieurs,

The grinning be ours, and the gravity yours!

To keep one bright spark of good humour alive,

Old holiday pastimes and sports we revive.

Be merry, my masters, for now is your time-

Come, who'll buy my ballads? they're reason and

rhyme."

Peckham and Blackheath fairs were celebrated places of resort in former times, and had their modicum of strange monsters.

"Geo. I. R.

"To the lovers of living curiosities. To be seen during the time of Peckham Fair, a Grand Collection of Living Wild Beasts and Birds, lately arrived from the remotest parts of the World.

"1. The Pellican that suckles her young with her heart's, blood, from Egypt.

"2. The Noble Vultur Cock, brought from Archangell, having the finest talions of any bird that seeks his prey; the fore part of his head is covered with hair, the second part resembles the wool of a Black; below that is a white ring, having a Ruff, that he cloaks his head with at night.

"3. An Eagle of the Sun, that takes the loftiest flight of any bird that flies. There is no bird but this that can fly to the face of the Sun with a naked eye.

"4. A curious Beast, bred from a Lioness, like a foreign Wild Cat.

"5. The He-Panther, from Turkey, allowed by the curious to be one of the greatest rarities ever seen in England, on which are thousands of spots, and not two of a likeness.

"6 & 7. The two fierce and surprising Hyaenas, Male and female, from the River Gambia. These Creatures imitate the human voice, and so decoy the Negroes out of their huts and plantations to devour them. They have a mane like a horse, and two joints in their hinder leg more than any other creature. It is remarkable that all other beasts are to be tamed, but Hyaenas they are not.

"8. An Ethiopian Toho Savage, having all the actions of the human species, which (when at its full growth) will be upwards of five feet high.

"Also several other surprising Creatures of different sorts. To be seen from 9 in the morning till 9 at night, till they are sold. Also, all manner of curiosities of different sorts, are bought and sold at the above place by John Bennett."

The grand focus of attraction was in the immediate vicinity of the "Kentish Drovers." This-once merry hostelrie was a favourite suburban retreat of Dicky Suett. Cherub Dicky! who when (to use his own peculiar phrase) his "copper required cooling," mounted the steady, old-fashioned, three mile an hour Peckham stage, and journeyed hither to allay his thirst, and qualify his alcohol with a refreshing draught of Derbyshire ale. The landlord (who was quite a character) and he were old cronies; and, in the snug little parlour behind the bar, of which Dicky had the entrée, their hob-and-nobbings struck out sparks of humour that, had they exhaled before the lamps, would have set the theatre in a roar. Suett was a great frequenter of fairs. He stood treat to the conjurors, feasted the tragedy kings and queens, and many a mountebank did he make muzzy. Once in a frolic he changed clothes with a Jack Pudding, and played Barker and Mr. Merriman to a precocious giantess; when he threw her lord and master into such an ecstacy of mirth, that the fellow vowed hysterically that it was either the devil, or (for his fame had travelled before him) Dicky Suett. He was a piscator, *

* All sports that inflict pain on any living thing, without

attaining some useful end, are wanton and cowardly. Wild

boars, wolves, foxes, &c. may be hunted to extermination,

for they are public robbers; but to hunt the noble deer, for

the cruel pleasure of hunting him, is base.

With all our love of honest Izaak Walton, we feel a

shuddering when the "sentimental old savage" gives his

minute instructions to the tyro in angling how most

skilfully to transfix the writhing worm, (as though you

"loved him!") and torture a poor fish. Piscator is a

cowardly rogue to sit upon a fair bank, the sun shining

above, and the pure stream rippling beneath, with his

instruments of death, playing pang against pang, and life

against life, for his contemplative recreation. What would

he say to a hook through his own gullet? Would it mitigate

his dying agonies to hear his dirge (even the milkmaid's

song!) chanted in harmonious concert with a brother of the

angle, who had played the like sinister trick on his

companion in the waters?

and would make a huge parade of his rod, line, and green-painted tin-can, sallying forth on a fine morning with malice prepense against the gudgeons and perch: but Dicky was a merciful angler: he was the gudgeon, for the too cunning fishes, spying his comical figure, stole his bait, and he hooked nothing but tin pots and old shoes. Here he sat in his accustomed chair and corner, dreaming of future quarterns, and dealing out odd sayings that would make the man in the moon hold his sides, and convulse the whole planet with laughter. His hypocrene was the cream of the valley; *

* Suett had at one time a landlady who exhibited an

inordinate love for that vulgar fluid ycleped geneva; a

beverage which Dicky himself by no means held in abhorrence.

She would order her servant to procure supplies after the

following fashion:-"Betty, go and get a quartern loaf and

half a quartern of gin." Off bolted Betty,-she was speedily

recalled: "Betty, make it half a quartern loaf and a

quartern of gin." But Betty had never got fairly across the

threshold, ere the voice was again heard:-"Betty, on second

thoughts, you may as well make it all gin!"

he dug his grave with his bottle, and gave up the ghost amidst a troop of spirits. Peace to his manes! Cold is the cheerful hearth, where he familiarly stirred the embers and silent the walls that echoed to "Old Wigs!" chanted by Jeffery Dunstan when he danced hop-scotch on a table spread out with tumblers and tobacco-pipes! Hushed is the voice of song. At this moment, as if to give our last assertion what Touchstone calls "the lie direct," some Corydon from Petty France, the Apollo of a select singing party in the first floor front room, thus musically apostrophised his Blouzellinda of Bloomsbury.

She's all that fancy painted her, she's rosy without rouge,

Her gingham gown a modest brown turned up with

bright gamboge;

She learns to jar the light guitar, and plays the harpsi-

chols,

Her fortune's five-and-twenty pounds in Three per Cent

Consols.

At Beulah Spa, where love is law, was my fond heart

beguiled;

I pour'd my passion in her ear-she whisper'd, "Draw

it mild!"

In Clerkenwell you bear the bell: what muffin-man does

not?

And since, my Paul, you've gain'd your p'int, perhaps

you 'll stand your pot.

The Charlie quite, I've, honour bright, sent packing for a

cheat;

A watchman's wife, he'd whack me well when he was

on his beat.

"Adieu!" he said, and shook his head, "my dolor be

your dow'r;

And while you laugh, I 'll take my staff, and go and cry

-the hour."

Last Greenwich Fair we wedded were; she's won, and

we are one;

And Sally, since the honey-moon, has had a little son.

Of all the girls that are so smart, there's none than Sally

smarter;

I said it 'fore I married her, and now I say it arter.

Geo. II. R.

"This is to give notice to all gentlemen, ladies and others, that there is to be seen from eight in the morning till nine at night, at the end of the great booth on Blackheath, a west of England woman 38 years of age alive, with two heads, one above the other; having no hands, fingers, nor toes; yet can she dress and undress, knit, sew, read, sing," Query-a duet with her two mouths? "She has had the honour to be seen by Sir Hans Sloane, and several of the Royal Society. * "N.B. Gentlemen and ladies may see her at their own houses, if they please.

* That the caricaturist has been out-caricatured by Nature

no one will deny. Wilkes was so abominably ugly that he said

it always took him half an hour to talk away his face; and

Mirabeau, speaking of his own countenance, said, "Fancy a

tiger marked with the small-pox!" We have seen an Adonis

contemplate one of Cruikshank's whimsical figures, of which

his particular shanks were the bow-ideal, and rail at the

artist for libelling Dame Nature! How ill-favoured were Lord

Lovat, Magliabeeehi, Searron, and the wall-eyed, botde-nosed

Buekhorse the Bruiser! how deformed and frightful Sir Harry

Dimsdale and Sir Jeffrey Dunstan! What would have been said

of the painter of imaginary Siamese twins? Yet we have "The

true Description of two Monstrous Children, born in the

parish of Swanburne in Buekinghamshyre, the 4th of Aprill,

Anno Domini 1566; the two Children having both their belies

fast joyned together, and imbracing one another with their

armes: which Children were both alyve by the space of half

an hower, and wer baptised, and named the one John, and the

other Joan."-A similar wonder was exhibited in Queen Anne's

reign, viz. "Two monstrous girls born in the Kingdom of

Hungary," which were to be seen "from 8 o'clock in the

morning till 8 at night, up one pair of stairs, at Mr.

William Sutteliffe's, a Drugster's Shop, at the sign of the

Golden Anchor, in the Strand, near Charing-Cross." The

Siamese twins of our own time are fresh in every one's

memory. Shakspere throws out a pleasant sarcasm at the

characteristic curiosity of the English nation. Trinculo,

upon first beholding Caliban, exclaims,-"A strange fish!

were I in England now (as I once was), and had but this fish

painted, not a holiday fool there but would give a piece of

silver: there would this monster make a man: when they will

not give a doit to relieve a lame beggar, they will lay out

ten to see a dead Indian"

This great wonder never was shown in England before this, the 13th day of March, 1741. "Vivat Rex." Peckham * and Blackheath Fairs are abolished;--

* Peckham Fair, August 1787.-Of the four-footed race were

bears, monkeys, dancing-dogs, a learned pig, &c. Mr.

Flockton in his theatrical booth opposite the Kentish

Drovers, exhibited the Italian fantocini; the farce of the

Conjuror; and his "inimitable musical-clock." Mr. Lane,

"first performer to the King," played off his "snip-snap,

rip-rap, crick-crack, and thunder tricks, that the grown

babies stared like worried cats." This extraordinary genius

"will drive about forty twelve-penny nails into any

gentleman's breech, place him in a loadstone chair, and draw

them out without the least pain! He is, in short, the most

wonderful of all wonderful creatures the world ever wondered

at."

Sir Jeffrey Dunstan sported his handsome figure within his

booth; outside of which was displayed a likeness of the

elegant original in his pink satin smalls. His dress,

address, and oratory, fascinated the audience; in fact,

"Jeffy was quite tonish!"

In opposition to the "Monstrous Craws" at the Royal Grove,

were shown in a barn "four wonderful human creatures,

brought three thousand miles beyond China, from the

Kickashaw Mackabee country, viz.

"A man with a chin eleven inches Ions:.

"Another with as many M'ens and warts on his face as knots

on an old thornback.

"A third with two large teeth five inches long, strutting

beyond his upper lip, as if his father had been a man-tiger!

"And the fourth with a noble large fiery head, that looked

like the red-hot urn on the top of the monument!"

"These most wonderful wild-born human beings (the Monstrous

Craws), two females and a male, are of very small stature,

being little more than four feet high; each with a monstrous

craw under his throat. Their country, language, &c. are as

yet unknown to mankind. It is supposed they started in some

canoe from their native place (a remote quarter in South

America), and being wrecked were picked up by a Spanish

vessel. At that period they were each of a dark-olive

complexion, but which has astonishingly, by degrees, changed

to the colour of that of Europeans. They are tractable and

respectful towards strangers, and of lively and merry

disposition among themselves; singing and daneing in the

most extraordinary way, at the will and pleasure of the

company."

and those of Camberwell * and Wandsworth ** are

* A petty session (how very petty!) was held at Union Hall

on the 4th July, 1823, in order to put down Camberwell Fair,

which is as old as Domesday Book. Shakspere has truly

described these ill-conditioned, peddling, meddling

Dogberrys "You wear out a good wholesome forenoon in hearing

a cause between an orange-wife and a fosset-seller; and then

rejourn the controversy of three-pence to a second day of

audience. When you speak best to the purpose, it is not

worth the wagging of your beards, and your beards deserve

not so honourable a grave, as to stuff a botcher's cushion,

or to be entombed in an ass's pack-saddle."

** Wandsworth Fair exhibited sixty years ago Mount Vesuvius,

or the burning mountain by moonlight, rope, and hornpipe-

dancing; a forest, with the humours of lion-catching;

tumbling by the young Polander from Sadler's Wells; several

diverting comic songs; a humorous dialogue between Mr.

Swatehall and his wife; sparring matches; the Siege of

Belgrade, &c. all for three-penee!

On Whit-Monday, 1840, Messrs. Nelson and Lee sent down a

theatrical caravan to Wandsworth Fair, and were moderately

remunerated. But the "Grand Victoria Booth" was the rallying

point of attraction. Its refectory was worthy of the

ubiquitous Mr. Epps-of ham, beef, tongue, polony, portable

soup, and sheep's trotter memory!

Cold beef and ham, hot ribs of lamb, mock-turtle soup that's

portable,

Did blow, with stout, their jackets out, and made the folks

comfortable!

fast going the way of all fairs. Bow, Edmonton, * Highgate, ** Brook Green (Hammersmith,) and

* In the year 1820, the keeper of a menagerie at Edmonton

Fair walked into the den of a lioness, and nursed her cubs.

He then paid his respects to the husband and father, a

magnificent Barbary Lion. After the usual complimentary

greetings between them, the man somewhat roughly thrust open

the monster's jaws, and put his head into its mouth, giving

at the same time a shout that made it tremble. This he did

with impunity. But in less than two months afterwards, when

repeating the same exhibition at a fair in the provinces, he

eried, like the starling, "I can't get out!-I can't get

out!" demanding at the same time if the lion wagged its

tail? The lion, thinking the joke had been played quite

often enough, did wag its tail, and roared "Heads!" The

keeper fell a victim to his temerity.

** "July 2,1744.-This is to give notice that Highgate Fair

will be kept on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday next, in a

pleasant shady walk in the middle of the town.

"On Wednesday a pig will be turned loose, and he that takes

it up by the tail and throws it over his head, shall have

it. To pay two-pence entrance, and no less than twelve to

enter.

"On Thursday a match will be run by two men, a hundred yards

in two sacks, for a large sum. And, to encourage the sport,

the landlord of the Mitre will give a pair of gloves, to be

run for by six men, the winner to have them.

"And on Friday a hat, value ten shillings, will be run for

by men twelve times round the Green; to pay one shilling

entrance: no less than four to start; as many as will may

enter, and the second man to have all the money above four."

West-end (Hampstead * ), Fairs, with their swings, roundabouts, spiced gingerbread, penny-trumpets, and halfpenny rattles are passed away. The showmen and Merry Andrews of Moorfields ** are

* "The Hampstead Fair Ramble; or, The World going quite Mad.

To the tune of 'Brother Soldier dost hear of the News,'

London: Printed for J. Bland, near Holbourn, 1708." A

curious broadside.

** Moorfields during the holiday seasons was an epitome of

Bartlemy Fair. Its booths and scaffolds had flags flying on

the top. A stage near the Windmill Tavern, opposite Old

Beth-lem, was famous for its grinning-matches. Moorfields

had one novel peculiarity, viz. that whilst the Merry Andrew

was practising his buffooneries and legerdemain tricks in

one quarter, the itinerant Methodist preacher was holding

forth in another. Foote makes his ranting parson exclaim,

"Near the mad mansions of Moorfields I 'll bawl,

Come fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, all,

Shut up your shops and listen to my call!"

The Act 12 of Queen Anne aimed at the suppression of the

Moorfields' merriments. The showmen asked Justice Fuller to

license them in April, 1717, but in vain. Fuller had a

battle-royal with Messrs. Saunders and Margaret, two

Middlesex justices, who sided with the conjurors, and

forbade the execution of his warrant. Justice Fuller,

however, having declared war against Moorfields'

mountebanking, was inexorable, and committed the insurgents

to the house of correction; from whence, after three hours'

durance vile, they were released by three other magistrates.

Kennington Common was also a favourite spot for this odd

variety of sports. It was here that Mr. Mawworm encountered

the brick-bats of his congregation, and had his "pious tail"

illuminated with the squibs and crackers of the unre-

generate.

This fair commenced in the New River pipe-fields, and

continued in a direct line as far as the top of Elm Street,

where it terminated. The equestrians always made a point of

galloping their donkeys furiously past the house of

correction!

no more; the Gooseberry Fairs * of Clerkenwell and Tottenham Court Road, (the minor Newmarket and Doncaster of Donkey-racing!) are come to a brick-and-mortary end.

* "April 9, 1748.-At the Amphitheatrical Booth at Tottenham

Court, on Monday next (being Easter Monday), Mr. French,

designing to please all, in making his Country Wake complete

by doubling the prizes given to be played for, as well as

the sports, has engaged some of the best gamesters, Country

against London, to make sides. For Cudgelling, a laced hat,

value one pound five shillings, or one guinea in gold; for

Wrestling, one guinea; Money for Boxing, besides Stage-

money. And, to crown the diversion of the day, he gives a

fine Smock to be jigged for by Northern Lasses against the

Nymphs to the westward of St. Giles's Church-to be entered

at the Royal Oak, in High Street, by Hob, Clerk of the

Revels, or his deputy. The doors will be opened at eleven

o'clock; the sport to begin at two. Cudgelling as usual

before the prizes. Best seats, Two Shillings; Pit and First

Gallery, One Shilling; Upper Gallery, Sixpence."

Mr. French advertises, May 12, 1748, at his booth at

Tottenham Court, six men sewed up in sacks to run six times

the length of the stage backwards and forwards for a prize,-

a prize for wrestling and dancing to the pipe and tabor,-

and the gladiator's dance. He also kept the race-course in

Tothill-Fields, August 4, 1749.

"August 8, 1730.-At Reynold's Great Theatrical Booth, in

Tottenham Court, during the time of the Fair, will be

presented a Comical, Tragical, Farcical Droll, called The

Rum Duke and the Queer Duke, or a Medley of Mirth and

Sorrow. To which will be added a celebrated Operatical

Puppet-Show, called Punch's Oratory, or the Pleasures of the

Town; containing several diverting passages, particularly a

very elegant dispute between Punch and another great Orator

(Henley?); Punch's Family Lecture, or Joan's Chimes on her

tongue to some tune. No Wires-all alive! With

entertainments of Daneing by Monsieur St. Luce, and others."

High-smoking chimneys and acres of tiles shut out the once pleasant prospect, and their Geffray Gambados (now grey-headed jockeys!) sigh, amidst macadamisation and dust, for the green sward where, in their hey-day of life, they witched the fair with noble donkeyship!-Croydon (famous for roast-pork, and new walnuts ), Harley-Bush, and Barnet fairs, are as yet unsuppressed; but the demons of mischief-[the English populace (their Majesty the Many!) are notorious for this barbarity]-have

* "At the London Spaw (1754), during the accustomed time of

the Welsh Fair, will be the usual entertainment of Roast

Pork, with the fam'd soft-flavor'd Spaw Ale, and every other

liquor of the neatest and best kinds, agreeable

entertainments, and inviting usage from the Publick's most

obedient servant, George Dowdell."

In the year 1795 a Dutch Fair was held at Frogmore, when a

grand fête was given by King George the Third, in

celebration of his Queen's birth-day, and the recent arrival

of the Princess of Wales. A number of dancers were dressed

as haymakers; Mr. Byrne and his company danced the Morris-

dance; and Savoyards, in character, assisted at the

merriments. Feats of horsemanship were exhibited by

professors from the Circus; and booths erected for good

eating and drinking, and the sale of toys, work-bags,

pocket-books, and fancy articles. Munden, Rock, and Incledon

diverted the company with their mirth and music; and Majesty

participated in the general joy. The Royal Dutch Fair lasted

two days, and was under the tasteful direction of the

Princess Elizabeth.

totally destroyed the magnificent oak that made Fairlop Fair * a favourite rendezvous with those who could afford a tandem, tax-cart, or Tim-whisky. How often have we sat, and pirouetted too, under its venerable shade.

May Fair (which began on May-day), during the early part of the last century, was much patronised by the nobility and gentry. It had nevertheless its Ducking Pond for the ruder class of holiday makers. **

* By an act passed 3rd of 2nd Victoria (not Victoria for the

Fair!) it was rendered unlawful to hold Fairlop Fair beyond

the first Friday ("Friday's a dry day!") in July. This was

the handy work of the Barking Magistrates.

"And when I walk abroad let no dog bark!"

** "June 25, 1748.-At May Fair Ducking Pond, on Monday

next, the 27th inst., Mr. Hooton's Dog Nero (ten years old,

with hardly a tooth in his head to hold a duck, but well

known for his goodness to all that have seen him hunt) hunts

six ducks for a guinea, against the bitch called the Flying

Spaniel, from the Ducking Pond on the other side of the

water, who has beat all she has hunted against, excepting

Mr. Hooton's Good-Blood. To begin at two o'clock.

"Mr. Hooton begs his customers won't take it amiss to pay

Twopence admittance at the gate, and take a ticket, which

will be allowed as Cash in their reckoning. No person

admitted without a tickct, that such as are not liked may be

kept out.

"Note. Right Lincoln Ale."

Apropos of other mirthful rendezvous.

"A new Ducking Pond to be opened on Monday next at

Lirneiouse Cause, being the 11th August, where four dogs

are to play for Four Pounds, and a lamb to be roasted whole,

to be given away to all gentlemen sportsmen. To begin at Ten

o'clock in the forenoon."-Postman, 7th August 1707.

"Erith Diversion, 24th May 1790.-This is to acquaint the

publick, that on Whit-Monday, and during the holidays, the

undermentioned diversions will take place. First, a new Hat

to be run for by men; a fine Ham to be played for at Trap-

ball; a pair of new Pumps to be jumped for in a sack; a

large Plumb-pudding to be sung for; a Guinea to be cudgelled

for,-with smoking, grinning through a collar, with many

other diversions too tedious to mention.

"N.B. A Ball in the evening as usual."

But what are the hopes of man! A press-gang (this is the

freedom of the press with a vengeance! this the boasted

monarchy of the middle classes!) interrupted and put an end

to these water-side sports.

Kent has long been renowned for strong muscles and strong

stomachs!

"Bromley in Kent, July 14, 1726.-A strange eating worthy is

to perform a Tryal of Skill on St. James's Day, which is

the day of our Fair for a wager of Five Guineas,-viz.: he

is to eat four pounds of bacon, a bushel of French beans,

with two pounds of butter, a quartern loaf, and to drink a

gallon of strong beer."

The old proverb of "buttering bacon" here receives

farinaceous illustration!

"In a fore one-pair room, on the west side of Sun-court," a Frenchman exhibited, during the time of May Fair, the "astonishing strength of the 'Strong Woman,' * his wife."

"She first let down her hair, of a length descending to her knees, which she twisted round the projecting part of a blacksmith's anvil, and then lifted the ponderous weight from the floor. She also put her bare feet on a red-hot salamander, without receiving the least injury." May Fair is now become the site of aristocratical dwellings, where a strong purse is required to procure a standing. At Horn Fair, a party of humorists of both sexes, counted in all the variety of Bull-Feather fashion, after perambulating round Cuckold Point, startled the little quiet village of Charlton on St. Luke's day, shouting their emulation, and blowing voluntaries on rams' horns, in honour of their patron saint. Ned Ward gives a curious picture of this odd ceremony,-and the press of Stonecutter Street (the worthy successor of Aldermary Churchyard) has consigned it to immortality in two Broadsides ** inspired by the Helicon of the Fleet,

* This was probably Mrs. Alchorne, "who had exhibited as the

Strong Woman" and died in Drury Lane in 1817, at a very

advanced age. Madame also performed at Bartholomew Fair in

1752.

** "A New Summons to all the Merry (Wagtail) Jades to attend

at Horn Fair"-"A New Summons to Horn Fair" both without a

date.

"Around whose brink

Bards rush in droves, like cart-horses to drink,

Dip their dark beards among its streams so clear,

And while they gulp it, wish it ale or beer,"

and illustrated by the Cruikshank of his day. Mile-end Green, in ancient times, had its popular exhibitions;-

"Lord Pomp, let nothing that's magnificall,

Or that may tend to London's graceful state,

Be unperformed-as showes and solemne feastes,

Watches in armour, triumphes, cresset-lightes,

Bonefiers, belles, and peales of ordinance.

And, Pleasure, see that plaies be published,

Maie-games and maskes, with mirth and minstrelsie;

Pageants and School-feastes, beares and puppit-plaies:

Myselfe will muster upon Mile-end-greene,

As though we saw, and feared not to be seene."

And the royal town of Windsor, * and the racecourse in Tothill-Fields ** were not without their merriments.

* "The Three Lordes and Three Ladies of London," 1590.

** "On Wednesday the 13th, at Windsor, a piece of plate is

to be fought for at cudgels by ten men on a side, from,

Berkshire and Middlesex. The next day a hat and feather to

be fought for by ten men on a side, from the counties

aforesaid. Ten Bargemen are to eat ten quarts of hasty-

pudding, well buttered, but d--d hot! He that has done

first to have a silver spoon of ten shillings value; and the

second five shillings. And as they have anciently had the

title of The Merry Wives of Windsor, six old women belonging

to Windsor town challenge any six old women in the universe,

(we need not, however, go farther than our own country) to

out-scold them. The best in three heats to have a suit of

head-cloths, and, (what old women generally want!) a pair of

nut-crackers."-Read's Journal, September 9, 1721.

"According to Law. September 22, 1749.-On Wednesday next,

the 27th inst., will be run for by Asses (I!) in Tothill

Fields, a purse of gold, not exceeding the value of Fifty

Pounds. The first will be entitled to the gold; the second

to two pads; the third to thirteen pence halfpenny; the last

to a halter fit for the neck of any ass in Europe. Each ass

must be subject to the following articles

"No person will be allowed to ride but Taylors and Chimney-

sweepers; the former to have a cabbage-leaf fixed in his

hat, the latter a plumage of white feathers; the one to use

nothing but his yard-wand, and the other a brush.

"No jockey-tricks will be allowed upon any consideration.

"No one to strike an ass but the rider, lest he thereby

cause a retrograde motion, under a penalty of being ducked

three times in the river.

"No ass will be allowed to start above thirty years old, or

under ten months, nor any that has won above the value of

fifty pounds.

"No ass to run that has been six months in training,

particularly above stairs, lest the same accident happen to

it that did to one nigh a town ten miles from London, and

that for reasons well known to that place.

"Each ass to pay sixpence entrance, three farthings of which

are to be given to the old clerk of the race, for his due

care and attendance.

"Every ass to carry weight for inches, if thought proper."

Then follow a variety of sports, with "an ordinary of proper

victuals, particularly for the riders, if desired."

"Run, lads, run! there is rare sport in Tothill Fields!"

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