Chapter 4 FROM THE BIRTH OF MOSES TO THE DEATH OF JOSHUA

THIS chapter will put beyond dispute all connection between the Jehovah of Moses and the Sovereign Ruler of the Universe. Whoever drew the picture of Jehovah, as it is recorded in the Bible, made him, in every sense of the word, a mere man; and put him under the same necessity of re-sorting to means for obtaining information, when the subject of inquiry is involved in doubt. For instance: Jehovah informs Abram that the inhabitants of Sodom and Gomorrah were reported to be wicked in the extreme; and that he (the Lord) came down to get information on that subject.

Again, when the builders of Babel were about to commence their lofty tower, the Lord came down to see what they were doing; and, not being pleased with their intentions, put a stop to the work, and performed a miracle, whereby they were driven abroad on the face of the earth. Besides, the Lord's coming from a certain place to another place for information, implies that, without such movement, the information sought for could not be obtained. These instances, and hundreds of others of the same kind, imply also that the Jewish God had a local habitation. Again, to say that the Lord came to a place, staid there, and then returned back again,-these are movements which are common with men, but cannot be applied to the omnipresent God. The free access that Moses and the Old Testament prophets had to their God will warrant the idea that he resided next door to them, and that the Lord was obedient to their every call.

The children of Israel, after the death of Joseph, began to multiply so fast that the Egyptians feared for their own safety in the event of a war with other nations; and in consequence, ordered the mid wives to destroy all the male children, but to save the females alive. But Moses was saved, according to the Bible, in consequence of Pharaoh's daughter discovering him in the river; and when he came to maturity, the Lord selected him to go to Egypt to demand of Pharaoh, the king, to let the Israelites go out from that state of bondage in which, for four hundred years, they had been held.

The departure of Moses from Egypt was not very honorable for a future ambassador; for before his departure he murdered a man, and buried him. To escape justice, he then fled to Midian, and became acquainted with a pagan priest, who took him into his house, and ultimately gave him one of his daughters in marriage, and he became his father-in-law's shepherd; and the Lord made himself known to Moses. It was while tending the flocks that he was chosen go to Egypt to demand the release of his brethren, then in cruel bondage. After the Lord had given him his instructions, and, to all appearance, Moses had started on his mission, a remarkable circumstance took place, that must puzzle Bible commentators to explain. It is recorded in Exodus iv., 24, "And it came to pass, by the way in the inn, that the Lord met him and sought to kill him." This meeting appears to have been accidental, for no mention is made of the business of either of them. Here, again, we observe that the writer, whoever he was, has spoken of the Lord as a man. It is not possible for men of sound understandings to conceive of the reality of the Lord's meeting Moses at an inn, if by the Lord, We understand the Almighty Power that governs all Worlds.

On the account as it stands recorded, and as Christians take it as really having happened, the following remarks may reasonably be made, namely: that after Moses had been ordered to proceed to Egypt on his important mission, he loitered his time away in a tavern; and that the Lord surprised him in that place, and showed anger for his contempt of orders, given to and accepted by him. But the cause of a meeting so extraordinary, it is difficult to unravel. It is easily conceived why Moses might visit a tavern; but that the Lord of heaven and earth should follow a creature into a pot-house, and show signs of anger, and a quarrel should be the result, is very hard to believe; for it said, the "Lord sought to kill him." Again, if the Lord sought to kill him, it must be in appearance only, for he could have done it. However, Moses started off.

The account warrants us in supposing, that Moses had staid in the inn long enough for his wife to overtake him, and to upbraid him with neglect. Something is said about his son's being uncircumcised; and taking a sharp stone, she performed that operation with a very clumsy instrument; after which, she exclaimed, in an angry tone, "A bloody husband thou art, because of the circumcision;" as if she meant to say-"Shame on you! to leave it to me to do that which is so revolting to my feelings!" Moses then departed for Egypt, and obeyed the Lord in his journey to his brethren.

We can discover neither justice nor humanity in the course that was taken by the God of Israel, in bringing the Jews out of bondage. On the contrary, the greatest inhumanity and injustice are discoverable in every movement that Moses made under the authority of the Lord; which fully proves, that Infinite Wisdom and Goodness had nothing to do in the mighty fuss of liberating the seed of Abram from bondage. The plagues that were inflicted on the inhabitants of Egypt, if true, make the conduct of Jehovah more vindictive than any thing we have heard of as proceeding from the Devil himself for the Lord had told Moses beforehand, that he had hardened Pharaoh's heart that the people might know the power of the Hebrew God to afflict the nation. It might have been sport to the man made God of Moses, but not very pleasant and comfortable to the Egyptians, to be lousy, to be stunk to death with putrid carcasses, having frogs for bed-mates, when the Lord had hardened the King's heart. But the worst and most infamous of all the judgments, was the destruction of the first-born. This act would have disgraced the very devil: to institute the Feast of the Passover.

We may indulge in a little mirth in reference to the destroying angel going round the streets, finding out the doors marked with the blood of your paschal lamb, and taking care not to wring the neck of a little Hebrew. Wonder if the destroying angel had a lantern? But, perhaps, he had cat's eyes, and could see as well by night as at noon-day! No wonder, ye Jews, that the inhabitants of Egypt so willingly gave you their gold and silver ornaments to get rid of a people so detestable, and, with them, a more detestable God.

In a short time after the Jews had left the house of bondage, they began to upbraid Moses that they had changed for the worse; and in the course of their journeying, they quarrelled with him, and the Lord had continually to interfere, and to feed them by miracles. At Mount Sinai, Moses halted; and, according to the command of the Lord, the law was given to the nation, as recorded in Exodus, chapter xx. And this boasted law is said to have been given by the Lord, in the hearing of all the Children of Israel. The first commandment contains a spirit of intolerance, which, whether he gave it or not, has never failed to generate in Jews and Christians a spirit of religious persecution which has deluged the earth with blood.

The ten commandments, given by Moses to the Children of Israel, contain, in general, good moral precepts, with the exception of the first. The first begins by the Lord's speaking in a language which all the people could understand:-"I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other Gods before me." This command, which by both Jews and Christians is considered so just and reasonable, contains in it the germ of intolerance. Had this command been given immediately after the recorded fall of Adam, its influence would have had a very different bearing on the peace and happiness of society, than it had at the time, and has had ever since it was given. It would have been both just and right in the Lord of all to demand of his creatures to worship him, and him alone, in the way and manner he saw fit; since in that case, no evil consequences could have followed from a command so just and proper, as for the creature to obey his Creator.

But at the time the Lord gave the first commandment, the whole world were in the practice of worshipping the gods of their forefathers: the origin of which worship was then lost, and the worshippers were no doubt as sincere in their devotion as the most pious Jew or Christian of the present day. By the publication, then, of the first commandment, at a time when every nation had its particular god, and the worshippers lived in peace, the spirit of intolerance and religious persecution being unknown, the great I am declared a religious war against all the gods, and their worshippers on the face of the earth. But according to Bible history, Jehovah permitted his creatures to wander on earth, and appeared regardless as to what gods were worshipped; and then, after some thousand years, he all at once began to rage against all the religious systems then known.

But it was otherwise with what are called heathen nations. Each had its peculiar god, and also its different forms of worship; and they lived happily with each other on the score of theology. And here we may observe, how unfortunate it has been for the human race, that the Lord did not either give his law sooner, or not at all; for it is plainly to be seen, that if the first commandment had been given by the Lord before men had followed other gods, idolatry would have been prevented, and Jehovah's watchfulness over the worship he had established, would have been productive of universal happiness. But, on the contrary, the command being given so long after, and that, too, when religious systems were flourishing, and temples crowded with devout worshippers, the worst consequences have followed.

The worshippers of Jehovah, whether Jews or Christians, have, by the Bible itself, become intolerant and persecuting; and never have they failed, when power would admit, to destroy the enemies of their God without mercy: so that the first commandment, by coming too late, has proved the greatest curse that ever afflicted the human family. And hence the folly in believing that Infinite Wisdom and Goodness would permit false religion to progress so long before the true one was made known to the human race. After the moral law, or the ten commandments, had been given by the Jewish God, on the mount, amid thunder and lightning, we have it recorded that Moses was ordered to go up to the top of the mount, and there, with the Lord, he staid forty days and nights; during which time Aaron, his brother, remained with the whole of the Children of Israel in camp, at the foot of Mount Sinai.

And now, candid reader, prepare your mind for an account of what took place on the mount, between Jehovah and Moses; and when you have read it, and maturely reflected on what is recorded, then I say, ask yourself whether there is one word of truth in the account of this strange interview between Moses and his God? Compare it with any of the absurdities to be found in the Koran of Mahomet, and discover, if you can, whether the latter is less true than the former.

The Bible record states, that Moses was ordered to ascend the mount, on private business with the Lord, and to leave Aaron in charge of his chosen people till his return. The account clearly states, that Moses was then and there to receive instruction how to fit up and ornament the Tabernacle that was to accompany the Children of Israel in their journey to the promised land. And here we may notice, "That in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, and all things therein"; yet it required forty days to plan and fit up this moveable church; and before it was finished, the chosen people, with Aaron at their head, became idolators; so that before the Lord and Moses (both hard at work) had completed the church, they lost the congregation. This, to make the best of it, was a dreadful blunder.

After the forty days had run out, during which time Moses and his God were hard at work, and Moses had often received the precaution, "See that you make all things according to the pattern given on the mount,"-all at once, the Lord said to Moses, "Do you know what is going on below?" Poor Moses, full of thought, and over-joyed at the prospect of so fine a fit-out, was altogether ignorant of the Lord's meaning. "Why, Moses, that stubborn race you brought out of Egypt, have set up strange gods, and have turned their backs on both you and me"! If this story was strictly true, how Moses must feel on hearing this unfortunate news! We must suppose he would exclaim and say, "Oh! Lord, our forty days' labor is all knocked on the head. Is it possible, Oh! Lord, that they have forgotten what you did for them in Egypt? What a pity it is, Oh! Lord, that they ever got rid of the lice when they left the house of bondage, for if they were now tormented by those nibblers, it would remind them of the lousy miracle you performed for them in the presence of Pharaoh. Those lice, if not destroyed, would have been 'a forget-me-not.'" And the Lord said unto Moses, "Now let me alone, that my wrath may wax hot against this people, for I know that they are a stiff-necked race. I will destroy them, and from you shall a great nation spring up." But Moses, not having at this time lost his temper, said, "Oh! Lord God, now do not destroy them; besides, what will the Egyptians say? And also remember what you promised to Abram, Isaac, and Jacob: how you swore that you would give it to Abram and his seed forever." "Well, Moses, you reason correctly. I own I was rather too hasty; upon a second thought, I retract; I will take your advice; but go down and see what you can make of them."

Moses, not well pleased, left the Lord, and went down from the mount; and when he came to the camp, he lost all patience, and, in a passion, not knowing what he did, threw down the stones on which were written the commandments-and written, too, with the finger of God-and they were broken asunder. No wonder that Moses lost his temper: forty days' labor lost; having had, during the whole time, nothing to eat; and having lost his church members before the moveable church was complete! No one can be surprised that he acted as he did. Moses reasoned so correctly with the Lord, that he cooled Jehovah down, but was not so fortunate with himself.

Aaron, finding himself in a dilemma, excused himself by charging the people with the fault. But Aaron's story was but a lame tale; for, when the people demanded a god, to whom they might pay divine honors, Aaron could have told them to have patience, and Moses would return with proper instructions from their God. But poor, silly Aaron told Moses, that when he threw the rings and bracelets into the fire, out came the calf. At any rate, between the Lord, Moses, and Aaron, a sad blunder was made; and to finish off, Moses commanded the Levites to go sword in hand and kill every man his brother and neighbor; and three thousand were slain, who, if things had been conducted properly, might have been faithful worshippers of Jehovah. Finally, nothing can exceed in folly this foolish story of Jehovah, Moses, and Aaron, except it be the folly of believing it to contain one word of truth.

After Moses had slain the people for their idolatry, not having been reproved by the Lord, he was commanded to prepare two tables of stone, in place of those that were broken, and the next morning to go up again to the Lord, on the mount. It is then said that the Lord descended on the mount to meet Moses; so it appears that the Lord (after the departure of Moses to the bottom of the mount) departed also, into heaven or to some unknown place; for it is recorded that he came down again to meet Moses with the two new tables prepared by him. The whole account of the Lord's interview with Moses, on the mount, implies that Jehovah labored, talked, and acted in concert with Moses, as one man acts with another; and that they remained together forty days and as many nights. Whether they continued their work through the night, we have no account; nor whether they needed candles. At all events, if it be considered literally as a matter of fact, it was a long time for Moses to be without food or sleep; but as Christians are compelled to believe it to be matter of fact, we will remark on it as such.

We begin, then, by asking if the Children of Israel were indeed the Lord's chosen people, how can we account for the neglect in not giving Aaron proper instruction respecting the business of Moses on the mount, so as to prevent the people from seeking after other gods? And, also, how came it to pass that the Lord did not inform Moses sooner of the people's revolt, so that the three thousand that Moses caused to be murdered, might have been saved? And lastly, is it consistent with the attributes of the Governor of the Universe to resolve, in wrath, to do any thing, and then repent and not perform it?

If nothing had been recorded in the Old Testament of the sayings and doings of the Jewish God, but that which is related concerning him in giving the law on Mount Sinai, and of his giving instruction to Moses how to fit out the Tabernacle, it is of itself sufficient to show the absurdity of Jehovah's being the God of Nature. To unite in one person the attributes of the great and all-powerful God, with the contemptible arrangement of giving patterns for curtains, and a thousand trifling things of no importance whatever, and to take forty days to garnish his church, and, while so doing, to let, from sheer neglect, his people lose sight of Moses, and then to destroy three thousand persons in consequence of such want of foresight, is too much for credulity to digest.

When we notice the importance attached to rites and ceremonies the most unimportant, and then again how lavish the Jewish God is of human life, and totally regardless of human suffering, we dare not for a moment give credence to the strange stories and foolish whims of the Bible God, and palm them upon the all-bountiful Author of Nature. Moses, after coming down the last time from the mount, begins to prepare for the priesthood, by saying, that the firstlings of cattle, whether of the ox, or the sheep which are of the male kind, belong to the Lord; but the firstling of the ass was to be redeemed by substituting a lamb! But if the owner had no lamb to offer, the neck of the ass was to be broken; as if the Lord had said-if you have nothing better to give, I will not accept of a young jack-ass!

Whoever wrote the Book of Exodus, has made the God of Israel appear like unto an old clothes-man, giving orders for a thousand ornaments for his worship, which would disgrace a heathen temple; such as giving orders for all kinds of brass work; likewise, gold and silver ornaments; all kinds of oils and spices; particular patterns of cabinet work; what kind of leather skins, and, also, of what particular color, to grace his house withal: and even down to the cut and color of the garments: not forgetting to give instruction concerning the making of breeches for Aaron and his sons! In the present day, it is no uncommon thing for ladies to wear the breeches; but in those days, when breeches were cut by inspiration, it would have been no small crime for a woman to have stepped into Aaron's inexpressibles, or those of his sons. How is the dignity of the Governor of the World disgraced, by ascribing to him an employment fitting only for a pedler in old clothes!

Let' us compare the majestic grandeur of Jupiter, the supreme god of the Greeks, to the peddling, gossipping concerns that the writers of the Old Testament have palmed on Jehovah, the God of the Jews! Hear what the poet says of Jupiter, when challenging all the gods to oppose his power:-:

"Let down our golden, everlasting chain,

Whose strong embrace holds heaven and earth and main;

Strive all, of mortal or immortal birth,

By this to drag the thunderer down to earth;

Ye strive in vain; if I but lift this hand,

I heave the heaven, the ocean, and the land;

'T is thus I reign, supremely and above;

Such are men and gods compar'd to Jove!"

The contradictions, as recorded in the Bible, concerning Jehovah, are so barefaced, that it is impossible to reconcile them. It is said in many parts of the Old, and also in the New Testament, that no man can see God and live; but we are told that Moses conversed with Jehovah, face to face, as one conversing with his friend. It is in many places recorded that God never repents-"For he (God) cannot lie nor repent." In many other places it is recorded that Jehovah has repented and taken a contrary course in his dealings with the sons of men. I again repeat, that if no other account had been recorded of the conduct of the Jewish God, but what we have mentioned, it is impossible to believe Jehovah to be any thing but a man-made God.

After the death of Moses, Joshua was appointed as his successor. His business was to complete what Moses had left undone, in subjugating or destroying the nations on the other side of Jordan. The first exploit of Joshua was to send spies to Jericho to examine the strength of the city. These spies entered the house of Rahab, the harlot, where they were treated with kindness; it being such a house as would in modern times be termed a house of bad fame. That it was a house of ill-fame, the proof is positive; because the harlot's father, mother, and all the family, were saved when Joshua took the city, because Rahab had concealed the spies: so no doubt remains as to the character of the house, and that it was entirely under her control and that the whole family were supported from the wages of prostitution.

Viewing this account as having actually taken place, as Christians must do, as believers in the Bible, it was a very proper house at which the spies would resort; for it was a house at which all were welcome; where all sorts of news could be collected. After the spies had become somewhat familiar with Mrs. Rahab, they informed her who they were, and the nature of their errand. All on a sudden, they were about to be arrested by the city authorities; and when forced to depart, Rahab extorted a promise from the spies that her whole family should be saved when Jericho should fall. Such a promise, the spies could not well deny, after having been so kindly treated. Rahab, consequently, let them out by a private way; and, on returning to Joshua, they praised the Lord for having directed them to so hospitable and honorable a mansion as the house of the virtuous Rahab. This was the Lord's doings, as also the exploit of the seven rams'-horn trumpets that threw down the walls of Jericho; and it is marvellous in our eyes-praised be his name!

Here, serious reader, pause and wonder how Infinite Wisdom can bring good out of apparent evil, by taking into his employment murderers, thieves, and harlots! and also, how such characters have immortalized their names, when their actions have been connected with faith in the Jehovah of Israel! For this noble act of betraying the city of Jericho, and giving the spies comfortable lodging, and no doubt, also, very agreeable bedmates, Rahab secured the favor of Jehovah, and her name is recorded in connection with many others of equal virtue; for Paul says, in Hebrews xi., 31,-"By faith, the harlot Rahab perished not with them that believed not, when she had received the spies in peace." Nothing is acceptable to the Lord, without faith,-that faith "which keeps the souls of sinners as sweet as salt does meat."

After the taking of Jericho and destroying every thing that had life, (the family of Rahab excepted,) Joshua followed in the same destructive course as had been commanded by Moses, which command Jehovah gave on the other side of Jordan. If the warfare pursued by Moses and Joshua did really take place, and Jehovah gave the orders, it is idle prate to talk of a God of justice. And when the Lord is made to say that he (the Lord) hardened the hearts of those Kings on either side of Jordan, that a plausible appearance of justice in their destruction might be made out,-for Christians to sing of a God of mercy, is horrible indeed. Whether a God ever commanded or encouraged the Jews in their wars of extermination, under Moses, Joshua, or any other of their generals, or not, Christian nations, as well as individuals, have drank deep of the spirit of religious warfare. A Lord of hosts, a fighting God, has given a sort of license to mortals to torment each other for his glory.

Every Infidel ought to oppose this spirit, and vindicate the Author of Nature from the imputation of cruelty and carnage-an imputation that, is opposed to every idea of justice, and contrary to every thing we can conceive of the Supreme Ruler of all worlds. And hence, nothing can be more honorable to a man or woman of good sense and kindness of heart, than to assert that the God of the Bible is unworthy to be worshipped as the Governor of the Universe; which in fact is to say, that to all pretended divine revelations, they are no less than avowed Infidels-a name that will eventually be as honorable as is now the name of Christian.

According to Bible history, the nations on the other side of Jordan were so alarmed at the frightful news they received of the Jewish army, and the ravages they committed, that five Kings, with their armies, came out to stop their progress; and in this account, we have the climax of divine interference on the part of Jehovah. After a desperate effort was made by the five Kings to stop the progress of Joshua, and after fighting the whole day, until towards the going down of the sun, they retreated. At that moment Jehovah is said to have given support to his chosen people, by causing a hail-storm to descend, and more were slain by the hail than fell by the sword. But when the hail was exhausted, something more was requisite to be done; Divine aid was still wanting. Then Joshua, in sight of his army, said, "Sun stand thou still upon Gibeon, and thou, moon, in the valley of Ajalon," and they obeyed his command. So that, according to this miracle, the hostile armies were completely destroyed, and the sun and moon (we suppose) were ordered to pursue their courses.

And now, reader, to believe this improbable, or rather impossible tale, and hundreds of others of the same sort, even in our day, will make a man respectable, and fit to fill any office where intelligence and honesty are required. But to doubt it, and publicly express the doubt, will cause him to be considered infamous, and unfit for "public trust or private care." And this will be the case until men shall be bold enough to express their honest convictions that it is a libel to charge the Sovereign Ruler of the Universe with being the direct, or the indirect, author of the Bible, or having ever chosen the Jews to be his peculiar people.

But to return to Joshua, who appears to be more highly favored with miracles than Moses, as the miracle of the sun and moon standing still, to give time to Joshua to complete his victory over the Kings that came against him, exceeds every thing of the kind on record. The writer, whoever he was, that mentions the sun and moon standing still in the heavens, evidently knew nothing of astronomy; for admitting the truth of the story, and that the sun and moon appeared to stand fixed in the heavens, it was in reality the earth that instantly obeyed the command of Joshua. And another miracle must have followed immediately, to prevent the dreadful consequences of the earth's ceasing from turning round on its axis: for we have but to consider the effects of the earth's instantly ceasing to turn round; the shock would have been so great that trees and houses and the armies would have been thrown high in the air, and the battle would have immediately ended, the combatants being destroyed. But the tale is too foolish to be credited; and it furnishes another proof that the Jehovah of the Jews is not the Author of Nature. In this battle, Balaam, the soothsayer, was slain; and before finishing this chapter, we will give the account as recorded, with some remarks on that celebrated fortune-teller.

When the Children of Israel had left Egypt, and were marching to the land of promise, they had to go through different kingdoms and provinces; and their numbers, connected with the depredations they committed in the name of Jehovah, caused the inhabitants of those regions to be greatly alarmed; and understanding that their God fought for them and that they were about to pass through the land of Moab, Balak, King of Moab, having learned what had been done by them to the Amorites, sent to Balaam to consult with him, intending, if possible, to stop their progress, or at least, to find out what the Jewish God had destined his people to perform.

In the Book of Numbers, chapter xxii., the account commences. Balaam, it appears, was then what now would be called a celebrated conjuror, or, as country people say, a cunning man, by which he made a living, and a good one, too: for, from the Bible story, he appears to be a man well known by princes, and was attended by two servants as out-riders. Like our present lawyers, he never gave his services until he had received a handsome fee; for the King sent off the elders to Balaam, with the rewards of "divination in their hand." Balaam received them, and invited them to stay with him till the next day, for, (as he told them,) he would first inquire of the Lord.

It is then recorded, that "God came unto Balaam, and said, what men are those with thee?" This inquiry of the Jewish God appears strange, when he must have known all about it without asking; but here, as in hundreds of other passages, the man-made God appears. But, for the information of the Lord, Balaam gives a suitable answer. The Lord then informs the fortune-teller that he must not go to Balak, nor curse them, for they are blessed. The elders then returned to the King, to inform him that Balaam could not come, because the God of Israel had forbid him so to do. Again, Balak sent others, more honorable than the first, with promises of riches and honor. The Lord came again to Balaam, and told him to go with the men to Balak, King of the Moabites, but to mind what the Lord had said to him. Balaam went off with the princes of Moab; but the Devil, or something else, got into the jack-ass on which the old fortune-teller rode, and he became skittish; and although then dumb, he seemed to say to his master, "I shall go no further." Balaam became enraged, and laid some heavy stripes on poor jack; but still the animal refused to go on, until neither the Lord nor jack could bear it any longer. The beast then broke silence, and reasoned with the old prophet on his brutality. All of a sudden, Balaam saw an angel with a drawn sword in his hand, who told him if it had not been for jack's superior eye-sight, he would have been a dead man. The angel then told Balaam to go on, but to mind what he did against Israel. What contemptible humbug is all this! two miracles performed to do nothing! The first, to send an angel down from nobody knows where; and the second, to make a dumb ass reprove his owner. And what was Balaam's fault? He was going on as the Lord commanded; and to complete this solemn farce, an apostle quotes it as a real fact that actually took place, by saying-"And the dumb ass spake with man's voice, and forbade the madness of the prophet."

After returning to Balak, Balaam ordered seven altars to be built, on which were to be offered seven bullocks and seven rams: and again, the Lord came to see the process, and in private conversation with the fortune-teller, told him that it would not answer; Israel must not be cursed. This was repeated by Balaam three times; so that twenty-one bullocks, and as many rams, were offered up to no purpose: and at each offering, the Lord came down and conversed in private with Balaam. Is it possible that men possessed of reason can believe that in this account there is one word of truth, as it respects the Governor of the Universe having any thing to do with it? If this account, or any one like it, was recorded in any other book than the Bible, no man of a sound mind would give the least credit to it. But yet the Christian dares not doubt it; for even the apostles of Jesus speak of it as a real fact that took place with the miracles attending it.

To conclude this chapter of absurdities, we beg the reader to bear in mind-first, that Balaam was not a prophet of Jehovah, but a conjuror; and if he professed any religion, it was that of heathenism. But he (Balaam) had heard of the manner of sacrificing to the Jewish God, and accordingly began by slaying seven bullocks and an equal number of rams; and while the altars were smoking, (if the Bible be true,) the Lord of the whole earth left his throne, and came down to see what was going on. The old fortune-teller was hard at work, and the princes of Moab standing by to hear the result; when lo, and behold! the Lord descends, and we may suppose him to say-"Balaam! why, you are cooking for a large party! Come, Balaam, before you go any further, a word with you, if you please. Come this way. What does all this mean? We must have some private talk about this affair." "Why, my Lord, you know my business. I must do all I can for my employers; I thought that if sacrifice is made, agreeably to your order of worship, you might be induced to alter your mind towards your people: for we have heard that at times, when the fit comes on, you give them a severe thrashing." "Yes, Balaam, there is some truth in the report; but I tell you, once for all, that if you offer all the bullocks in the world, and all the rams beside, you cannot, must not, curse Israel."

No lawyer ever stuck closer to a rich client than did Balaam to the King of Moab; for again and again did he sacrifice to the Lord of Hosts. Another trial, on a mountain, was made, and again Jehovah descends and tells Balaam the same as before. The third and last effort being made, which would incline us to think that the patience of Heaven must have been tired out, was enough to make the doorkeeper exclaim, "Here is Monsieur Tonson come again!" The last descent is made by the Lord, and the prophet gives in, reluctantly. I challenge any minister of the gospel to produce a more absurd story, in any system of theology, than the account of Balaam, his ass, and the Lord of Hosts.

I will not insult the reader by saying, do not believe it; but rather say, believe it who can!