Chapter 8 Choice

Emerald's Point of View

The velvet petal smell of the candle inside the bathroom lingered in my nose. It's calming, distressing me from everything I've been through.

My hair was tied using a clamp whilst my body was soaked with warm water and petals all around the tub. Giving yourself a me-time period was relaxing. It's my coping mechanism after all the stress I got after a long day and I feel like I deserved it at some point.

Regardless of preparing everything, I couldn't totally forget Jude's words. The exact words he spit remained lingering like a halo effect in my mind. Of course, I was hurt. Even if we're in a one-sided relationship, I still love him regardless. He's the only man I ever loved, the feelings are still there but I'm no longer holding anymore. The disrespect was so loud that even an apology did not even make a sound.

My mother's words significantly offended him. At some point, I pity him. I am on his side not because of my personal feelings but because my mom insulted Jude whereas her words are immorally wrong.

I took my bathrobe and came out. I made my night routine before I head out to the kitchen, feeling the need to drink some alcohol to ease what I'm feeling. I was standing over the bar counter, holding a glass of wine when a phone rang.

Glancing at the bar counter, my phone made a sound. My hands trembled when I saw a familiar number calling. It wasn't registered in my contacts, it clearly came from overseas. Chills began to creep all over my body. The warm air turned cold the moment I took my phone, hesitating whether to answer the call or drop it.

The wine glass made a sound when I put it back on the table. I was about to slide the red button when a voice hindered me behind.

"Why don't you answer it?" Jude's alarming voice affirmed behind me.

I snapped my old self back to reality. I put my phone inside my nightdresses' pocket and glanced at Jude with my chin up and head high.

"Uh-oh," I told myself in my mind.

I bit my inside cheek and crossed my arms at chest level. Suddenly, Jude opened his mouth and spoke, "Since you're here, why don't we talk?" and so I nodded.

Even though he's cripled and is sitting in a wheelchair, he altered his stance and nodded. I admit, despite being disabled, Jude's physical appearance didn't change. He was still an aloof man, the grumpy one I always dreamed of. A bitter sense of feeling crept within me.

A part of me was thinking what's his reason to make a good call for us to talk. Will he apologize for his harsh words he has said earlier? Perhaps no. You shouldn't dwell on your fantasies about him being good for you, Emerald. Besides, Jude has never been that kind of guy. He had always hated me and I doubt it will change.

My heart was stabbed a thousand times whilst looking at him. Seeing his current state had my heart sank. If only he would let me take care of him...

"I'm asking you one last time," He took a deep breath and said, "Is the kidnapping all true?"

"Fuck off if you think I lied," I affirmed bitterly. I can't handle another upsetting conversation again. "Believe whatever you want to believe. I don't have time to make arguments with you. I'm not forcing you to believe me."

Jude scoffed. "It was just a simple yes or no, Emerald. You don't need to prolong the conversation," he remarked in a mocking yet irritated manner.

I closed my eyes and scoffed. A moment of conversation with Jude feels fun because we're talking no matter what the topic is but at some point, it drains the shit out of me. I'm glad we interact, but I'm disheartened because we frequently argue.

On my way to leave the kitchen, Jude ceased me with his warning tone. "I did not dismiss you, Emerald."

I took a swift turn and spoke, "I know, but I'm not letting you belittle or hurt me again."

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Just to remind you, Emerald, you're the one who made a decision. If you can't stand my harsh words then it's not my fault anymore. You made a choice." His remarks penetrated deep inside my heart.

"But you also have a choice to say 'no' before our families lock us together to marry, right?"

He craned his neck. "That's because I had no choice. Your sister won't, and you're the only option I have. Remember, you're here as a prisoner of me. Disabled or not, I can do everything to make you stay and never leave your side. You're choosing your fate and it's the decision you pick. Now, live with it."

As soon as he spit those words out, Jude immediately turned his swivel chair behind, controlling its wheel to move apart from me. On his way to his bedroom, Jude halted. He turned around and spoke.

"Perhaps marrying you is a blessing in disguise," he paused. "I wouldn't know what your mom thinks about me if I hadn't married you. Little did I know, she's also one of those people who talk shit behind my back."

It's awful to hear those words from him. I know deep down he's not happy at all and I understand. Knowing I'm already his wife, Jude will no longer feel easy and comfortable with my mom because of how she acted. Now the dreams I had to fix everything up with my husband vanished. Part of me says it's alright... he will never consider me as a woman, as a partner but solely as a prisoner.

My family was indebted to them, and I served solely as assurance in his point of view. It stings but I don't have any choice. We're both right anyway. I had a choice and he has every means to ensure that we will not use his family for our own gain and remain our fidelity with them.