Chapter 4 Karma

"Putting on makeup and wearing sexy clothes again? Do I really have to do that again to make Simon happy?" I thought to myself as I looked at my face in the mirror. It seemed like I hadn't changed much since I decided to draw closer to God and distance myself from the glitz and glamour of the world that had once blinded me.

Money and sex-those two things had always been my beliefs, and they had kept me happy throughout my youth. After I got married, I regularly went to church, prayed, and tried to be a good wife. But apparently, that wasn't enough. Just being a good and faithful wife wasn't enough to make my husband want to spend more time with me.

I opened my closet, which held my old clothes-the ones I wore when I was younger and during the first two years of my marriage to Simon. I even found my old nurse's uniform, so tight that it hugged my curves.

I tried it on again, and it still fit me. I realized that my body shape hadn't changed at all, it was the same as before. When I looked in the mirror, I was amazed at myself.

"Is this really me? Did I look like this before?" I thought to myself. It was strange, I felt uncomfortable wearing it. It had been five years since I last wore revealing, sexy clothes, and somehow it felt uncomfortable.

"What are you doing?" Asked Simon, completely unaware of him entering the room filled with wardrobes.

"Honey? When did you get home?" I asked, surprised, and immediately covered myself with a towel.

Simon frowned, staring at me with a curious expression because I suddenly covered myself as if he were a stranger.

"I called you several times, but you didn't answer. What are you doing? Trying on your old work uniform, hmm?" He asked, stepping toward me.

Simon stood right in front of me, smiling mischievously as he urged me to show him my new look.

"Honey, I-"

"Wow...you're so sexy! How long has it been since you've worn clothes like this?"

"Maybe it's been five years or-"

"Yes, five years. Imagine five years of dressing like a pious middle-aged woman without makeup. You're still young and beautiful, my dear! Dress up and wear your sexy clothes again like when we first started dating!"

"What kind of flashy makeup? Look at you now, you're completely bare!"

"But you said I'm beautiful even without makeup, right?"

"You're very beautiful, Nina! But at least dress up a little and wear more colorful and revealing clothes! What's wrong with doing that to please your husband!"

I was speechless, not knowing what to say to him. I repented and left my past self behind so that karma wouldn't come to me. I believed that if I tried to improve myself, I wouldn't receive bad karma for my mistakes.

"Simon, I-"

"Tch, I know what you're going to say, Nina! Go ahead and pray at church as much as you want! You've even decorated our house with crucifixes and statues of the Virgin Mary. Do whatever you want, but don't blame me if one day I'm tempted by another woman and leave you!"

Simon gave me an ultimatum that felt like a slap in the face. I couldn't understand how he could say such cruel things. I try to be a good wife, is that still not enough?

"Honey, I-"

"Come on, make me coffee! You annoy me every day!"

Simon left in annoyance. I'd been making him mad since morning. I truly was a useless wife. I couldn't even give him a child, and I couldn't even make him smile. Am I receiving karma? Will I still get it even if I've repented and become a better person?

I changed my clothes and headed to the kitchen to make Simon a cup of coffee. I saw Simon's phone on the dining table while he was taking a shower.

I'm not the type of wife who checks my husband's phone, and I almost never check it. My faith in him is still as strong as it was when we first fell in love. But his words bothered me. Could my husband be tempted by another woman? Could I be experiencing what those women experienced when their husbands and their lovers had sex with me?

I reached for Simon's phone, which was lying on the table. It rang. It was an incoming call from Erika Gonzales, my husband's client, whom he called his "most generous."

I decided to answer the incoming call with a strange feeling and a question in my head: What business would he have calling my husband so late at night? It was almost 10 PM, and I didn't think any professional job would warrant contacting a client so late at night.

"Simon, could you come back to my apartment? My anus is sore from using it without lubrication, so-"

"I'm Simon's wife," I said, my breath coming out of my chest. My world was about to collapse, and I was sure I hadn't heard correctly, he'd said something appropriate.

"What's wrong? Who's calling?" Simon asked. He looked at me with a strange reaction because I was talking to someone on his phone.

I was speechless, tears welling up in my eyes. God, please, tell me what I just heard wasn't karma.

***