He'd looked genuinely confused. "But you're holding a cup from the coffee shop downstairs yesterday when I, " He stopped. "You were watching me from the window. You had coffee."
"It was hot chocolate." I'd taken the cup anyway because it was warm and my hands were cold. "But thank you."
Now we sat in silence while other pregnant women came and went with their partners, their mothers, their friends. Support systems I didn't have anymore. My mother was dead. My father was dead. My friends from before the marriage had slowly drifted away when I became Mrs. Julian Ashford, too busy with charity galas and society expectations to maintain real relationships.
"Nadia Laurent?" A nurse appeared in the doorway.
I stood, and Julian stood with me.
"Just wait here," I said.
"I want to come in."
"Julian,"
"Please." That word again, foreign in his mouth. "I won't say anything. I just want to hear the heartbeat."
I looked at his face and saw something I didn't recognize. Vulnerability, maybe. Or fear. It made him look younger, less like the corporate titan and more like the man I'd married six years ago, when I'd still believed we might find a way to be happy.
"Fine," I said. "But you sit in the corner and stay quiet."
Dr. Chen's office was small and warm, with ultrasound images of babies covering one wall. She smiled when she saw Julian, then looked at me for confirmation. I nodded.
"Let's check that blood pressure first," she said, wrapping the cuff around my arm.
I watched the numbers climb. One-forty over ninety-five. Dr. Chen's smile faded.
"Still elevated," she said. "Any headaches? Vision changes? Swelling in your hands or feet?"
"Some swelling," I admitted. "And headaches, but I thought that was normal."
"It can be, but combined with the blood pressure, I'm concerned." She made notes in my chart. "Let's do an ultrasound, check on the baby, and then we'll talk about next steps."
She squeezed gel on my stomach, and I heard Julian shift in his chair behind me. The ultrasound wand pressed against my skin, and suddenly the room filled with the sound of a heartbeat. Fast, strong, steady.
"There she is," Dr. Chen said, pointing to the screen. "Good strong heartbeat. Movement looks excellent. Weight is right on track."
"She?" Julian's voice was rough.
I'd forgotten he didn't know. "Yes," I said. "It's a girl."
The room went silent except for that heartbeat. I couldn't see Julian's face; I didn't want to. This wasn't supposed to be a moment we shared. This was mine. My daughter. My future.
"Everything looks good with the baby," Dr. Chen said, wiping the gel away. "But Nadia, your blood pressure is a concern. I want to see you twice a week now instead of weekly. And if it gets any higher, we may need to talk about early delivery."
"How early?" I asked.
"Ideally, we get you to at least thirty-seven weeks. You're at thirty-two now. But if you develop full preeclampsia, we might need to deliver sooner to protect both of you." She looked between Julian and me. "Is there someone who can stay with you? Monitor your symptoms? You shouldn't be alone right now."
"I'll be fine," I said quickly.
"I'll stay with her," Julian spoke before I could protest. "Whatever she needs."
"No," I said.
"Nadia."
"Mr. Ashford, could you give us a moment?" Dr. Chen's voice was kind but firm.
Julian left, and I could breathe again.
"Talk to me," Dr. Chen said. "What's going on?"
"We're getting divorced. Or we were. Before he found out about the baby." The words tumbled out. "He doesn't actually care about her or me. He cares about his company. His grandmother left everything to my daughter, and now he's trying to control the situation."
Dr. Chen was quiet for a moment. "And how do you feel about him?"
I laughed, but it came out broken. "I don't know anymore. I spent six years trying to make him love me, and I failed. Now he's back, and I don't know if it's worse or better than when he ignored me."
"Preeclampsia is serious, Nadia. Stress makes it worse. You need support, whether that's from him or someone else." She squeezed my hand. "Promise me you won't try to handle this alone."
I promised, even though I had no idea how to keep it.
Julian was pacing the waiting room when I emerged. He stopped when he saw me.
"What did she say?"
"That I need to reduce stress and monitor my blood pressure." I headed for the exit. "I'll be fine."
He followed me out. "Let me hire a nurse. Someone to stay with you, check your vitals."
"I don't need a babysitter."
"You need help." He caught my arm gently, and I stopped. "Nadia, please. Let me do this one thing."
I pulled away. "Why? So you can tell the board you're being a responsible father? So you can prove to the lawyers that you deserve custody?"
"Because I don't want you to die!" The words exploded out of him, loud enough that people on the street turned to stare. "Because the thought of you alone in that apartment, sick, with no one to help you if something goes wrong, terrifies me. Is that what you want to hear?"
I stared at him. In six years, I'd never heard Julian Ashford raise his voice. Never seen him lose control.
"I don't believe you," I said quietly.
"I know." He ran a hand through his hair, disheveling it for the first time since I'd known him. "I know I have no right to ask for anything from you. But I'm asking anyway. Let me help. Not for the company. Not for custody. Just because it's the right thing to do."
"And when the baby is born? When do you have what you need? What happens then?"
He looked at me, and I saw the truth in his eyes before he said it.
"I don't know," he admitted. "But I know I can't lose you both before I even try to figure it out."
My phone buzzed. A text from my landlord. *Rent's due. Late fees start tomorrow.*
I'd forgotten. Between the doctor's appointments and Julian's reappearance, I'd completely forgotten to pay rent. My bank account was already stretched thin from medical bills that insurance didn't cover.
Julian saw my face. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." I shoved my phone in my pocket. "I need to go."
"Nadia."
"I said I need to go, Julian." I started walking, but the stress and the morning's appointment caught up with me. The sidewalk tilted, and suddenly I couldn't breathe right.
"Nadia!" Julian caught me as my knees buckled. "Hey, hey, look at me. Are you okay?"
"Just dizzy," I managed. "I'm fine."
"You're not fine." He pulled out his phone. "I'm calling an ambulance."
"No! No ambulances. I can't afford it," I stopped, humiliated. "Just help me sit down."
He guided me to a nearby bench, his arm around my waist. When had he gotten so warm? Or was I just cold?
"Tell me what you need," he said.
I looked up at him, this man who'd promised to love me and then forgotten I existed. This man who was here now only because he needed something from me. This man was the father of my daughter, whether I liked it or not.
"I need you to tell me the truth," I said. "If your grandmother hadn't died, if you didn't need this baby for your company, would you be here right now?"
He was quiet for so long, I thought he wouldn't answer.
"No," he finally said. "Probably not. And I'll have to live with that for the rest of my life."
At least he was honest.
"Take me home," I said. "And then leave me alone."
His jaw tightened. "What if I don't want to?"