Chapter 2 No. 2

AVARA

"Who does he think he is, coming back after 15 years and acting like he owns the place?"

Julian is rambling beside me but I can barely hear him, walking so fast that it is difficult to keep up with him. His jaw is hard, and cold anger is radiating off him.

"I'm just as surprised as you are that he is back. I thought that he would never come back."

"Of course he does. Spends 15 years wasting away his life, neglecting the pack, the people, then waltzes back in talking about how he is ready for the succession. He shouldn't have come back. He had become a ghost. Everybody had forgotten about him. Damn it."

I hadn't. When Silas took me, brought me to him, I was scared, destabilized, terrified, my mind hazy, thoughts blurry. It was two days after that night, that night...

I try to think again of that night and give up trying to recollect more than I know. Julian says it's a trauma response, remembering so little of the night when my actual parents died. Silas, my adopted father, gave me a bunch of books on the effects of trauma, on how trauma can make certain thoughts fade to the back of the memory because the brain desperately wishes never to recollect them ever again.

Anyways, Silas had always been harsh, cold, standoffish, right from the very first day. Sometimes I wonder whether it is love that made him adopt me or something else because, the way he acts sometimes...

But Kaeden had been the light in those dark, scary days, for the whole of the thirty minutes that he spoke to me. That night, when I was brought into a whole new territory that I could already sense would be dangerous, he had hugged me, smiled at me, told me not to be afraid, made me laugh, made me feel warm and welcome and happy.

Then he had disappeared. For 15 fucking years.

So no, I had not forgotten Kaeden Vane.

For many years after, I had waited for my big brother to come back for me. I had stared at his portrait hanging over the mantelpiece in one of the living rooms for so long, I developed a little childish innocent crush for my brother. I craved that hug, craved the way that he made me feel that dark, scary night, missed him so badly that one would not believe that we had only met for less than an hour.

And then, when I realized that he was not coming back anytime soon, I grew resentful of him.

Maybe my feelings were not justified. I mean, he never said that he was coming back for me. He never made any promises. But I felt betrayed. l felt hurt. I felt abandoned.

And now he is back. And I don't know how to react. I don't know why my breath hitched and goosebumps ravaged my body when we touched. I don't know why he moved from looking at me like a distant memory he had barely thought about to looking at me so intensely, I felt that I might melt under his gaze.

I don't know why it bothers me so much.

"So what now?" Julian is still snarling. "He shows up now and just takes the throne? Just like that?"

I shrug. "I mean, he is the true heir. It's his birthright."

Julian hisses. "That's bullshit. What happens to everyone who has been toiling to preserve and enrich the park? What happens to me? I've spent years slaving after your father, basically working as his second right hand man."

"Three years." I roll my eyes, knowing exactly where the conversation is heading.

"It doesn't matter the time. I've spent years looking after the pack, looking after you."

"And that makes you more deserving of the throne than the son of the Alpha?"

Julian turns to me with a snarl on his face. "How can you not be bothered by this, Avara? I'm the son of the Beta. You're the legitimized daughter of the Alpha."

"And?"

His voice gets lower but sharper. "Don't act stupid. If he had never come back, we could have had a chance to lead the pack together, you as Luna and I as the Alpha. Once Silas stepped down, there would have been no one to challenge us."

I stare at him blankly. He has never been open with his intentions but I have always suspected that I was just a means, a ticket to what he truly desired, to be Alpha of the Silvermoon Pack. Not that it bothers me so much that he came to me with other intentions other than love, I mean, I don't even know whether I am fond of him and his suffocating nature. The only reason I am with him is because father desires so, and I have seen enough of how Silas reacts when he does not get his way to be foolish enough to disobey him.

"When you talk like this, you sound like a gold digger." I tell him bluntly.

Julian's expression shifts instantly. He reaches out his hands, his fingers tracing my jawline possessively. "No, no. Why are you talking like this, Avara? I love you, you know I do. I mean, I am always at your side."

Yes, always at my side, suffocating me, always wanting to know what I am doing, where I am going, what I am up to. Monitoring me, pestering me. As if I am not already controlled enough by my father.

"But we cannot deny that this was an option for us," he continues. "Until he came back. And we deserve that power, Avara. You know how much we have done for the pack."

"I never wanted to rule the pack. I'm human, Julian. I don't even deserve to."

"Maybe alone, but with me by your side, you do." He sighs. "I'm sure there has to be a way to get rid of him. Send him back to wherever he came from."

That night, I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, still trying to process my feelings towards Kaeden's return. My eyes trail onto a little necklace, one that I had on my neck as a little girl when I was... rescued.

Kaeden had toyed with the necklace the night they met, put it on his nose and made funny faces. That had made her laugh.

I smile and feel led to toy with it the way he did. I lift it and place it on my nose.

As soon as I do, I feel a sharp pain across the centre of my forehead, one that makes me to stumble an almost fall.

Then I hear a voice, clear, one that I swear I used to know, used to love.

"Hide her! Hide the spark!"

I crumple to my knees and instantly feel rough hands on my waist. I turn to see Kaeden's worried face. I realize that he is holding me, breathing heavily, like he had sprinted towards me.