Chapter 4 4

The next day was hell.

A courier arrived at noon with a velvet box. Inside was a ruby necklace. The card read: Happy Anniversary. Wear this tonight. - J.

Nancy knew Julian hadn't sent this. The handwriting belonged to Liam, his executive assistant, who likely had a recurring calendar alert for "Wife - Anniversary Gift." Julian probably didn't even know it had been delivered.

Nancy stared at the red stones. They looked like drops of blood. Tonight was the family dinner at the Sterling estate. They had to pretend.

She went to the kitchen. She needed to do something with her hands. She baked. It was a Black Forest cake, Julian's favorite, but she made it with a special sugar-free recipe for his father.

When Julian came home to change, the cake was cooling on the counter.

He walked into the kitchen, adjusting his cufflinks. He glanced at the cake.

"We're not bringing that," he said.

Nancy paused, the frosting knife in her hand. "Why? It's your favorite."

"Fiona ordered dessert," he said, checking his watch. "She got a Michelin pastry chef to make those gluten-free tarts everyone likes. We don't need your... homemade attempt."

Nancy felt the sting of tears. It wasn't about the cake. It was about the erasure.

"Right," she said. "Of course. Fiona."

"Hurry up," Julian said. "Put on the necklace. It cost enough, you might as well display it."

He walked out to the garage.

Nancy stood alone in the kitchen. She looked at the cake. She looked at the ruby necklace that felt like a collar.

A dark, destructive impulse seized her. She felt like she was disappearing. She needed to feel something other than this hollow ache.

She cut a slice of the cake.

She knew the recipe. She knew she had used hazelnut flour for the base.

Nancy was severely allergic to hazelnuts. Not instantly fatal, but enough to cause agonizing hives and swelling that would make her unrecognizable.

She picked up the fork. Her hand trembled. Just a little, her mind whispered. Just enough to make the pain physical. Just enough to punish yourself for still loving him. She wasn't thinking clearly; the hormones and grief were a toxic cocktail.

She took a bite. Then another.

She swallowed the sweet, deadly crumbs.

Within minutes, her throat began to itch. Her lips tingled. Heat rushed to her face.

Panic set in. The baby.

"No," she gasped. She dropped the fork. What was she doing? She was a mother now. She couldn't be reckless.

She ran to the sink and drank glass after glass of water. She opened the medicine cabinet and frantically swallowed two antihistamine pills. She stuck her finger down her throat, forcing herself to retch, expelling the cake into the disposal.

She coughed, her eyes streaming. Her neck was breaking out in red blotches. Her breath hitched.

She grabbed her purse, fumbling for her EpiPen. She held it over her thigh.

But she hesitated. Was epinephrine safe for the baby? She didn't know. The antihistamines should hold off the worst of it. She couldn't risk the shot unless her throat closed completely.

Honk. Honk.

Julian was in the driveway.

Nancy ran to the bathroom. She grabbed a bottle of heavy concealer. She slathered it over her neck, covering the angry red hives. She put on the ruby necklace. The large gems hid the worst of the swelling. She prayed the dim lighting of the restaurant would hide the puffiness around her eyes.

She took deep, wheezing breaths, willing her airway to stay open.

She walked out to the car.

"Finally," Julian muttered as she slid into the passenger seat. He didn't look at her. If he had, he would have seen the sweat on her upper lip, the way her hands were gripping her knees.

"Sorry," she croaked.

"You sound terrible," he said, putting the car in gear. "Don't get anyone sick."

Nancy leaned her head against the cool glass of the window. She focused on breathing. In. Out. Survive.