Chapter 2

The doctor' s words echoed in the sterile examination room, cold and clinical. "The tumor, Alexis, it' s aggressive. And your uterus... it' s a miracle you conceived at all. It' s uniquely structured, almost a one-time event for you. Carrying this pregnancy will put immense strain on your body, exacerbating the risks of the tumor. We need to consider termination."

My belly, a soft curve barely noticeable, felt alien and precious all at once. A miracle. A ticking time bomb. I felt the sharp contrast, the bitter irony. Here I was, fighting for a life I barely had within me, a life I was willing to sacrifice everything for. Meanwhile, Carlton was risking his career, his marriage, for a woman who was clearly manipulating him. For a woman he was sleeping with on our anniversary.

Why Carmen? The question burned in my mind, a relentless fire. Why her?

Carlton had been evasive when I' d pressed him earlier, a flicker of something unreadable in his eyes before he resumed his therapist facade. "Her trauma is profound," he'd said, "and she trusts me explicitly."

I remembered when I'd first hired Carmen. She was clumsy, forgetful, often breaking things. Carlton had been annoyed, even suggesting I fire her. "She's incompetent, Alexis. Your standards are slipping."

But then, Carmen started showing up with bruises, claiming domestic abuse from Bud. Carlton, with his savior complex, had softened. His eyes, usually cool and analytical, would carry a hint of something resembling pity, even a flicker of curiosity, whenever Carmen spoke of her "suffering." I, the naive fool, had even tried to help Carmen find a safe house, offering her money, but she' d refused, clinging to the idea of "staying close" to her abuser for fear of retaliation. Now I saw her game. And Carlton, the renowned therapist, had fallen for it hook, line, and sinker.

"So, my dear husband," I mused aloud in the empty room, a bitter laugh escaping my lips, "my attempt to 'save' her with ethical means failed. But you, you solved her 'problems' with your body. How wonderfully effective."

Later that evening, as I stared at the ceiling, trying to ignore the dull ache in my head and the growing nausea in my stomach, Carlton's phone buzzed. A text. Then another. His face, illuminated by the screen, softened. A gentle smile, tender and warm, touched his lips. It was a smile I hadn' t seen directed at me in years.

I recalled our own intimacy, or lack thereof. He' d always been clinical, almost detached. "Stress hormones, Alexis. Not conducive to deep connection. We must maintain a healthy distance for optimal mental well-being." His words, once accepted as wisdom, now sounded like a cruel joke. He had used his profession, his expertise, to create a chasm between us, to deny me the very connection he was so freely giving to Carmen.

He convinced me my desires were "unhealthy," "co-dependent." And I, foolishly, bought into it. Now I understood. It wasn' t about hormones or well-being. It was about her. And it was physical. Raw, carnal desire. Something he denied me, but indulged with Carmen.

He wants her body. The thought sliced through me, sharp and clean. And with that realization, a profound sense of abandonment washed over me. I finally saw it. He didn' t want me. He never truly did.

My heart, which had been clinging to a phantom hope, finally gave way. I' m done. The words formed silently, a quiet, resolute declaration. I was done chasing a ghost, done fighting for a man who didn't want to be caught.

The next morning, Carlton emerged from the shower, the faint scent of a different perfume mingling with his usual cologne. He caught my eye, then quickly looked away, running a hand over his neck, as if to hide something. A faint red mark, a hickey, was visible just below his jaw.

"Somatic therapy, Carlton?" I asked, my voice flat, devoid of emotion.

He flinched. "It's... a side effect of deep tissue work. Sometimes patients express gratitude physically." He sounded utterly ridiculous.

"Right," I said, not bothering to hide the sarcasm.

He cleared his throat. "Perhaps it's best if we sleep in separate rooms for a while, Alexis. My work is incredibly draining, and I need undisturbed rest." Another excuse. Another wall.

I just nodded. The silence stretched, heavy and suffocating. I went through the motions of preparing for my day, my mind already miles away.

Later that night, the phone next to Carlton's bed buzzed. It was 2 AM. He sat up abruptly, his movements jerky. "Carmen?" he whispered into the phone, his voice laced with concern. He threw on some clothes, grabbed his car keys, and was out the door in minutes, without a word to me.

I lay there, listening to the silence, then slowly, carefully, I got out of bed. My head throbbed, but a new kind of clarity had settled over me. I needed to see. I followed him, my car tailing his through the deserted streets, the city lights blurring into streaks of color. He stopped outside Carmen's rundown apartment building. Just as I suspected.

A moment later, he emerged, half-carrying, half-dragging Carmen, who was limp in his arms. Her clothes were torn, a smear of blood visible on her forehead. He looked frantic, his usual composure completely gone. He carefully placed her in his car, then sped off towards the nearest emergency room.

I watched him go, tears blurring my vision. He rushed her, a woman he claimed was just a patient, to the hospital in the middle of the night, his face etched with genuine fear and concern. He, the man who meticulously sanitized his hands after every patient, who once scolded me for leaving a single strand of hair on the bathroom floor. Now, he didn't care about the blood, the dirt, the mess. He cared about her.

My heart shattered, again. But this time, it was a clean break. No more clinging to illusions.