Chapter 3 Things We Say Without Meaning To

Home was the only place where Lia didn't have to pretend.

The house breathed around her-alive, loud, imperfect. Her siblings filled every corner with sound: laughter bursting out of nowhere, petty arguments over the television remote, the clatter of plates and cutlery as someone moved too fast in the kitchen. It was chaotic in the way only family could be, the kind of chaos that didn't ask questions or demand explanations. Here, Lia wasn't required to be strong or cheerful or composed. She just existed.

She sat cross‑legged on the floor beside the coffee table, helping the youngest with homework. Numbers sprawled across an exercise book, smudged by eraser marks and impatience. Lia pointed gently at a line, her voice calm and encouraging as she explained the problem for the third time.

"No, not like that," she said softly. "Try again. You're close."

The child groaned dramatically but smiled anyway, leaning closer to her. Lia smiled back, nodding at the right moments, laughing when she was supposed to. From the outside, she looked fine-steady hands, relaxed shoulders, an easy expression. From the inside, she was still unravelling.

Her thoughts drifted when she wasn't careful. A name would slip in, uninvited. A memory. A laugh that wasn't here.

She pushed it away.

The television blared behind her, someone shouting at a football match. The smell of food floated from the kitchen, warm and familiar. Lia grounded herself in it all-the scrape of a chair, the squeak of the ceiling fan, the solid weight of home pressing her back into the present.

A knock sounded at the door.

The sound cut through the noise, sharp and unexpected. Everyone paused for half a second, the house holding its breath.

"I'll get it," Lia said quietly, already standing.

She brushed her hands against her jeans as she walked down the short hallway, her steps light, almost hesitant. When she opened the door, Jaden stood there.

For a moment, they both froze.

He looked surprised to see her, like he'd arrived without thinking things through, like he hadn't expected her to be the one on the other side. His hair was slightly messy, his school bag slung over one shoulder, his expression caught somewhere between relief and uncertainty.

"Hey," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I was just passing by."

It was a lie. Or at least, not the whole truth. They both knew it.

Lia stepped aside anyway. "You can come in."

The noise of the house rushed toward them, loud and immediate, but Jaden hesitated. After a second, Lia closed the door behind her instead.

"We can sit outside," she suggested.

They moved to the porch, settling into the familiar wooden chairs. From there, the sounds of the house softened, fading into a dull hum. Evening air brushed against Lia's skin, cooler than inside. For a moment, neither of them spoke.

Silence had always been easier with Jaden. It didn't feel heavy-just full.

He watched the street absently, tapping his fingers against his knee. Lia stared at the chipped paint on the railing, tracing its cracks with her eyes. She could feel something sitting between them, unsaid but present.

She broke the silence first, her voice deliberately casual, too casual.

"Jaden... did you know Adrian was meeting someone?"

He turned to her slowly.

"Meeting someone?" he repeated.

The words landed differently for him. They echoed, rearranging things in his mind. He hadn't known. Not really. There had been rumors, vague hints, nothing solid. And suddenly, the way Lia's voice trembled made sense. The way she'd been quieter at school. The way she'd smiled without meaning it.

"No," Jaden said quietly. "I didn't."

The honesty sat heavy in his chest.

Lia nodded, staring at the ground. "Oh."

That was all she said.

But Jaden felt it then-sharp and clear. Whatever had been breaking her wasn't just hurting her. It was breaking him too, in a quieter way. He wanted to say something-anything-to make it better, to take the weight from her shoulders. But he didn't know how. And somehow, he knew that words would only make it worse.

They sat there until the sky deepened into dusk, the streetlights flickering on one by one. Eventually, Jaden stood.

"I should go," he said.

Lia nodded again. "Yeah. Thanks for stopping by."

He hesitated, then smiled softly. "Anytime."

After he left, Lia stayed on the porch long after the noise of the house swallowed her again.

---

Adrian called later that evening.

Lia was in her room, lying on her bed with her phone resting beside her, untouched. The ceiling fan spun lazily above her, shadows shifting with every rotation. When the screen lit up and his name appeared, her heart betrayed her before she could stop it.

Her breath caught.

She stared at the phone, the ringing filling the space, her pulse pounding in her ears. She told herself not to answer. She told herself she didn't owe him anything. She told herself she was tired of pretending.

The phone kept ringing.

She sighed and picked it up.

"Hey," Adrian said easily, like nothing had changed. Like everything was still simple. "Do you want to meet up for a bit? Just to talk."

She would have said no.

Instead, she said, "Okay."

The word slipped out before she could catch it.

They met at their usual spot-the small café near the street corner, tucked between a bookstore and a closed flower shop. It smelled like coffee and sugar and comfort. Warm lights glowed through the windows, familiar and inviting.

For a while, everything felt normal.

Too normal.

They sat across from each other, mugs in hand. Adrian talked with his hands like he always did, animated and relaxed. Lia laughed at the right moments, her shoulders easing despite herself. They joked about school, about teachers they disliked, about old memories that belonged to a simpler time.

For a moment, she forgot.

She forgot that her heart was supposed to be guarding itself. She forgot the late nights spent convincing herself she was fine. She forgot that Adrian belonged to someone else now.

Then he said it.

"So... things have been going really well with her," Adrian said, stirring his drink. "I didn't expect it, but I think I really like her."

Lia's smile froze.

The café seemed to grow louder, the clink of cups and low chatter pressing in around her. She held it together-barely. Nodded. Listened. Acted like the words weren't digging into places she'd tried so hard to protect.

"That's good," she said. Her voice was steady despite everything. "I'm happy for you."

It was the kind of sentence people said when they meant the opposite.

Adrian smiled, visibly relieved.

Unaware. Always unaware.

Just then, a familiar voice broke the moment.

"Lia? Adrian?"

Amara stood beside their table, eyes bright with surprise. "I didn't know you two were here."

Lia looked up, grateful and broken all at once. Amara's presence pulled her back from the edge, even as it exposed how close she'd been to falling apart.

"We were just talking," Adrian said easily.

Amaranth smiled, but her gaze lingered on Lia a second longer, lighter as if she could sense that something wasn't right.

"Mind if I sit?" Amara asked.

Lia nodded quickly. "Please."

As Amara joined them, the conversation shifted-lighter now, safer. Stories replaced confessions. Laughter filled the spaces where truth had almost slipped through.

Lia leaned back in her chair, breathing again.

But the damage was already done.

She had remembered too late.

And no matter how strong she tried to be, loving Adrian was still the one thing she pretended didn't hurt.