Chapter 8

Alayna POV:

I yanked my wrist free from Jarrett's grasp, the skin tingling where his fingers had been. His face was a contorted mask of confusion and fear, but I felt nothing. No pity, no lingering affection. Just a cold determination. I walked into Room 3B, the sterile white walls and the faint scent of lavender a familiar comfort. He called my name, but I didn't look back. I just closed the door, the click echoing in the sudden silence.

"Well, that was dramatic," Dr. Evans said, a wry smile on her face. She was a kind, older woman with intelligent eyes who had seen me through the darkest months. She glanced at the closed door. "Your boyfriend is very persistent."

I settled into the plush armchair, taking a deep breath. "He's my ex-boyfriend, Dr. Evans."

Her eyebrows shot up. "Oh, really? Well, congratulations, Alayna! That's excellent news." She beamed at me, a genuine, warm smile.

I returned it, a small, tired smile of my own. "Thank you."

It felt good. It felt right. Jarrett's worried face, his sudden concern – it was too little, too late. He'd never noticed before. He'd never truly seen the cracks forming, the slow erosion of my spirit. He had always dismissed my anxieties as "overreactions," my fears as "dramatic episodes." He had told me I was "sick," that I needed to "get help" for being too clingy, too insecure.

And he was right, in a way. I was sick. After months of his emotional neglect and the relentless online bullying, I had finally sought help. Dr. Evans had diagnosed me with moderate depression and severe anxiety, particularly in close relationships. My heart clenched at the memory of the diagnosis. It was a formal validation of the suffocating darkness I'd been living under.

My anxiety, she explained, wasn't just a sudden onset. It was rooted deep, a poisonous seed planted in childhood. My father, kind and gentle, died when I was five. Then, my mother, unable to cope, had slowly, irrevocably, pulled away. She remarried, moved on, creating a new family that had no room for me. I was sent to live with various relatives, always feeling like a guest, always on my best behavior, terrified of saying or doing the wrong thing, terrified of being abandoned again.

I remembered clinging to her leg during her infrequent, brief visits, my small hands desperate. "Don't go, Mommy," I'd plead, my voice barely a whisper. She'd pat my head, her eyes distant, already elsewhere. "Mommy has to go to work, sweetie." Work. That was always the excuse. Never "Mommy loves you, but I have to go." Just "work."

Then, one day, she was gone for good. She said she was going on a "long trip" with her new husband and stepchildren. I waited, and waited, and waited. She never came back. No calls, no letters. Just silence. It was a complete erasure. I felt like a mistake, a burden that had finally been cast off. My relatives, though well-meaning, were overwhelmed. I learned to be self-reliant, to trust no one, to keep my emotions locked away.

My first serious boyfriend, years later, had confirmed my deepest fears. He cheated on me, then blamed me for it. "You're too intense, Alayna," he'd said, his voice dripping with condescension. "You smother me. I needed space." That accusation, that I was "too much," had echoed Jarrett's words perfectly. The cycle continued. My anxiety spiraled, becoming a monster that whispered doubts in my ear, twisting every interaction, every perceived slight, into further proof of my unworthiness.

Dr. Evans had listened patiently, her gaze unwavering. She pointed out that while my past traumas made me vulnerable, Jarrett's behavior had actively exacerbated my condition. His gaslighting, his emotional unavailability, his blurring of boundaries with co-stars-it was all a toxic cocktail for someone like me.

"You need to remove yourself from the source of the anxiety, Alayna," she' d advised softly, her voice firm but gentle. "Or, you need to learn to manage it, to build up your own coping mechanisms, your own strength."

Opening my flower shop in LA had been my first step, a fragile attempt at reclaiming my independence. It was a small, beautiful victory. But it wasn't enough. Not as long as Jarrett was still in my life, a constant reminder of my deepest fears and his casual disregard.

Leaving him was the second step. The hardest. The most necessary. The moment I sent that text, the moment I walked out of our shared life, a profound sense of relief had washed over me. It was like shedding a heavy cloak, one I hadn't realized I was wearing until it was gone.

Now, sitting in Dr. Evans' office, I felt lighter than I had in years. The check-up was routine, the last one before my big move to Portland. My mental state was stable, she confirmed. The daily medication could finally be stopped.

"You're doing wonderfully, Alayna," Dr. Evans said, her eyes shining with pride. "You've made incredible progress. I'm so proud of you for choosing yourself." She leaned forward, a warm smile on her face. "Portland sounds like a wonderful new adventure. I wish you all the best. And who knows, maybe our paths will cross again."

A new adventure. A new life. The words resonated deep within me. I stood up, feeling a lightness in my step I hadn't experienced in years. The world suddenly seemed full of possibilities, unburdened by the past, untainted by the shadow of a man who never truly saw me. I was finally, truly, free. The road ahead might be daunting, but for the first time in a long time, I was excited to walk it on my own terms.