Chapter 5

"We're over, Colten. It's done." The words tore from my throat, raw and ragged. I didn't wait for a reply. I just turned and ran, the image of his disgusted face burned into my memory. Back in my dorm, I blocked his number, his social media, every single digital trace of him. I just wanted him gone.

Then the anger hit. A burning, cleansing rage. I started pulling things from my closet, from under my bed – anything that reminded me of him. His old hoodie, a concert ticket stub, the small, framed photo of us from our first anniversary. I gathered them all, a pile of shattered memories, and marched towards the trash bin.

No, Ila! Don't do it! You'll regret it! The Comments shrieked, their voices filled with panic. He' s probably just confused! He loves you! This is just a fight! Every couple fights!

You' re overreacting, Ila. Remember all the good times? All the times he helped you? One voice chimed in, softer, more insidious. He' s probably heartbroken too. You two are meant to be!

Think about it, Ila. He' s a genius. He probably just doesn't understand these "emotional" things. Maybe Addisyn was the one who kissed him? And he was just... stunned? He's not good with social cues, you know. Another voice rationalized, painting Colten as a helpless, innocent victim of his own brilliance. And you broke up with him twice now! He must be so angry and hurt. He' s probably just giving you space, just waiting for you to calm down and apologize.

He needs you, Ila! He might seem cold, but deep down he relies on you, his sweet, understanding girlfriend! He' s just protecting his heart. Go talk to him! Apologize!

Their noise was deafening, a relentless assault on my already fractured mind. My hand paused, hovering over the bin. My eyes fell on the small stack of folded letters, tied with a faded ribbon. My old love notes, exchanged in high school. I' d given them to him years ago. Why did he still have them?

I picked them up, my fingers tracing the familiar loops of my own handwriting. My heart gave a strange lurch. Along the margins, in neat, red ink, were corrections. Spelling mistakes, grammar errors, even a few awkwardly phrased sentences rephrased for "clarity." My love notes. Corrected. By Colten.

When had he done this? How long had he kept them, meticulously editing my declarations of affection? See, Ila? He keeps everything you give him! He treasures your words, even if he has to make them grammatically correct! It' s his way of showing love! The Comments swooned, interpreting his pedantry as devotion. He probably reads them late at night, thinking about you, his beautiful, slightly-less-than-perfect girlfriend!

Then, my eyes caught a small, folded photo tucked inside one of the letters. It was a candid shot I' d secretly taken of him during one of our study sessions in high school. He was slumped over a textbook, his brow furrowed in concentration, dark circles under his eyes. I remembered thinking he looked so tired, so dedicated.

He was working so hard, Ila. For you! He was probably so exhausted because he was staying up all night studying, and tutoring you! He put your academic future above his own sleep! The Comments cooed, painting a picture of selfless sacrifice.

I remembered how much I struggled in high school. My parents had hired tutors, expensive ones, but nothing stuck. The numbers swam on the page, the words twisted and turned. I was failing. My college dreams were crumbling. Then Colten, the brilliant boy next door, had stepped in.

"You're not stupid, Ila," he'd said, his voice surprisingly gentle. "You just learn differently. Let me try."

And he did. He patiently re-taught me everything, finding new ways to explain, new methods to help me understand. He spent hours, days, weeks, meticulously breaking down concepts, correcting my errors, pushing me when I wanted to give up. He transformed those confusing jumbles of letters and numbers into something I could grasp. When my acceptance letter to NYU arrived, I truly believed I' d finally "opened my brain," that I' d suddenly become smarter.

Now, looking at those corrected love notes, at the tired boy in the photo, a wave of warmth, mixed with a deep, aching guilt, washed over me. He hadn't just tutored me. He had saved me. He had seen my struggles when no one else truly did, when everyone else had given up. When I couldn't even help myself, he was there.