My shoes were still on, my bag half-hanging off my shoulder, my hair sticking to my forehead from the heat outside. I looked like a roasted plantain someone forgot on the grill.
"I swear, if life gives me one more nonsense today, I will pack my bag and relocate to Pluto," I said out loud.
Isabella looked up from her laptop, concern etched on her face. "I swear I will help you pack your stuff. What's wrong, why the complaint, did you meet a frustrating person again in today's interview? You look like you're having a rough day," she asked, her eyes sparkling with empathy.
I let out a deep sigh, feeling the frustration bubble up inside me again. "I just had the worst interview ever. The guy was so frustrating and with the ridiculous questions he was asking, and I felt like I was losing it at some point" I said to Isabella.
Isabella's eyes widened. "Oh no, what happened? Hope you did not lose it and punch him."
I shook my head, a hint of a smile on my lips. "No I didn't punch him, but I wanted to," I said.
" I know you won't. I trust you girl. So how did he get on your nerves."
I shook my head, frowning. "I don't know, he just seemed to be looking for ways to trip me up. And I'm pretty sure I didn't get the job."
Isabella nodded sympathetically. "I'm sure you'll find a better job. You deserve it. You have worked so hard," she said.
I smiled, feeling a bit better. "Thanks, isa. Your assuredness means a lot to me, you know, what can I do without you girl. I'm hungry, is there anything at home" I said, feeling grateful for having her as my friend.
Isabella smiled with warmth. "You're welcome, babe. I have already cooked, should I go and help you microwave it," Isabella asked.
"Yes, thank you" I said, without feeling any awkwardness or shyness.
Isabella was my only friend and we have been friends since childhood. I have been a nerd in school who doesn't talk with people and likes to be alone but Isabella is the opposite of me. She is popular and always defends me. I really love her. She is the best. Only when I am with Isabella am outspoken and bring out my real self. We rented these two bedroom apartments together.
As I watched her moving around the kitchen, humming to herself, something warm settled in my chest. Most people only see the bright, loud, pretty girl who seems to have everything under control. But I knew her better.
She always tried to take the weight of the world off my shoulders, as if she could sense the exact second my spirit was about to crumble.
Sometimes I wondered what I would've become without her, probably one lost, quiet girl buried under anxiety, job rejections, and indigestion from eating stress-induced noodles every night.
"Isa, if one day I make it big, I will buy you a house," I said weakly.
She snorted. "Better buy me a car. A house is too expensive for your current condition."
"Wow. So little faith."
"It's not little. It's a realistic faith."
"Here is the food," Isabella said.
As she handed me my food, I noticed the aroma of the pasta wafting through the air, making my stomach growl with hunger. I dug in, feeling a bit better.
Isabella went back to sit on the chair with a table in front which looked like a study place, typing on her laptop.
"What's next? Are you going to keep looking for a job," Isabella asked without looking up from the laptop.
I nodded, determination coursing through me. "Yes I need to. I can't give up," I said.
As I looked around the living room, I felt a sense of comfort. This was my safe space, with Isabella by my side. We'd get through this together.
"I think I should also join you and start writing a novel. So I just have to sit and use my brain without having to stress myself or looking at the face of those stupid interviewers," I said while looking at Isabella who was typing on her laptop, she is a great writer.
"I really wish you would really write a novel. You are so talented, you help me and give ideas for most of my novels. If you are a writer, you would have gone far and be a top author but we both know your passion is not there," Isabella said and I know what she said is the truth.
I have only one dream wish is to work in a big company after graduation. I graduated three months ago and started my job hunting 2 months ago after I did not receive any mails from the companies I sent my applications to. I graduated as the best student in my university and department.
Before graduation my life has always been a dull and boring routine, a never ending cycle of waking up, going to class, and coming back home which was suffocating. All I ever wanted was to graduate and earn money to enjoy my life. Finally my wish was about to be fulfilled.
And I graduated and started sending out applications to different companies the very next day. I hope to receive a response from one or two and I will choose the best. But imagination is different from reality after not hearing from them for one month.
I started hunting for a job and going to different companies I don't like but I don't have a choice, I need the job. Searching for a job is not easy but a baddie is gonna be a baddie. I need this job for my living expenses. Or else I might start begging.
Sometimes, late at night when the lights were off and the world finally shut up, I wondered why everything had to be so hard for me. Why nothing ever came easily. Why every step felt like dragging my feet through mud.
Every morning I told myself,
"Today will be better." Every night, reality said, "you thought."
People always admired the strong quiet girl they saw on the outside, but they didn't know the quiet panic that lived inside my chest, rising every time another company ghosted me.
I wasn't asking for luxury.
I wasn't asking for miracles.
I just wanted a chance to prove myself. Was that too much?
After I was done eating I went to the kitchen and washed my plate, after that I went to my room arranged everywhere because I scattered it before going out this morning. I made sure every place was sparkling clean, shower and changed into comfortable clothes before going back to the living room.
I saw Isabella concentrating on her laptop, and I don't disturb her because she is writing now and can't be distracted and disturbed or the inspiration will fly out. I took out my phone and started going through TikTok, Instagram and Facebook.
I was about to scroll past another makeup tutorial when the familiar sinking feeling washed over me, the one that always came before disappointment. The one that whispered. "Check your email. Maybe one reply came." Every day I checked. Every day nothing changed.
I opened my inbox and saw nothing but newsletters and "Hot sales now!" messages. Companies loved me, but only to send me ads. Not job offers.
My finger hovered over the email app for a moment, but I moved it away.
I couldn't take another heartbreak today.
One more rejection and my chest might actually cave in.
So I kept scrolling, trying to pretend I didn't care, trying to pretend hope didn't hurt. And then
ding.
A sound of notification rings out and I notice it is an email, I don't even bother to check out who sent it, I just click on it and I froze. My vision blurred. My heart stopped. "No way"
My breath caught in my throat.
For a moment, the world around me blurred, the room, the sofa, the sound of Isabella typing. Everything faded, swallowed by the weight of the single line glowing on my screen.
My fingers trembled.
My stomach dropped.
Warmth rushed to my face.
This couldn't be real.
This couldn't be happening.
My pulse hammered in my ears as I blinked rapidly, wondering if exhaustion was making me hallucinate.
But the email stayed.
Its subject line is clear.
Unmoving.
Terrifying.
A reply.
My first reply in three months.