Heartbroken, I escaped to Boston to start over. I met Adolfo Joyce, a brilliant, intense mentor who saw the pain I tried to hide. But just as I started to feel safe, he cornered me, his eyes holding a shocking secret.
"Amirah," he whispered, his voice low and urgent. "What is your mother's name?"
Chapter 1
Amirah Holland POV:
Seven years. That' s how long I'd loved Kendrick Page, the man who was supposed to be my guardian, my protector, the only family I had left in the world. He was my father' s best friend, and when Dad died, Kendrick stepped into the gaping void, not just as a legal guardian but as the anchor of my fragile existence. My love for him wasn't a slow burn; it was an explosion, an immediate, all-consuming fire that lit up my world. Every glance, every touch, every word from him was like oxygen, sustaining this desperate hope inside me. I was twenty-two now, a college student, but in his presence, I was still the scared little girl he'd taken in, yearning for his approval, his affection, his love. I built my entire world around him, every dream, every ambition, whispered his name. He was my sun, my moon, my entire universe.
But that universe imploded the day I finally confessed. Those three words, "I love you," felt like tearing open my chest and offering him my beating heart. His response wasn't anger, not even pity. It was worse. Cold indifference. A dismissal so absolute it felt like an amputation. He didn't just reject my love; he evicted me from our shared New York City home. Not with a shout, but with a quiet, hollow instruction to pack my bags, to find my own way.
His voice was flat, devoid of any warmth. "Amirah, you need to grow up. This isn't healthy." Healthy? My entire life had been defined by him, by us. What was unhealthy was the way he could stand there, looking at me, the girl he' d raised, and show no flicker of emotion as he tore my world apart.
I didn' t just leave. I tried everything to make him feel something, anything. For ninety-nine days, I played a dangerous game, hoping to provoke a reaction. Maxing out his credit cards, racking up trouble with the law, getting calls from angry landlords in cheap apartments I barely stayed in. Each stunt was a desperate cry for attention, a foolish belief that if I pushed hard enough, he'd finally see me, truly see me, not as a child, but as a woman bleeding for his love.
The first time, after I blew through a ridiculous sum on a designer handbag I didn't even want, his assistant called. Not Kendrick. Just a crisp, polite email warning that my 'allowance' would be severely curtailed if I didn't show more 'fiscal responsibility.' Fiscal responsibility! My heart sank. He didn't even care enough to be angry himself.
Then came the 'trouble.' A bar fight I didn't start, but certainly didn't avoid. A call to his office from the precinct. I imagined him rushing over, furious, worried. But no. The next day, a junior lawyer handled everything, paperwork and a stern lecture about conduct. Kendrick remained silent. It was like I was a problem to be delegated, not a person to be confronted.
My most desperate attempt was calling him late at night, pretending to be stranded, scared. I waited for his sharp words, his irritation, anything. Instead, his voice, calm and distant, simply said, "I've sent a car. Please ensure you make better choices, Amirah." No concern, no urgency, just an endless, echoing indifference.
It was then I knew. He wasn't playing hard to get. He wasn't testing me. He just didn't care. Not in the way I needed, not in any way that truly mattered to him. The realization hit me like a physical blow, leaving me gasping for air in the quiet solitude of my cheap apartment. He really wanted me gone.
Weeks blurred into months after that, a relentless, numbing haze. My attempts to provoke him slowly died out, replaced by a dull ache. I was adrift, without an anchor, without a purpose. The city lights outside my window no longer held their magical glow; they just reflected my own hollow gaze. This was my life now, a self-imposed exile, fueled by a broken heart and a desperate need to feel nothing at all.
And that's how I found myself here, slumped on a hard plastic chair in a brightly lit police station. The air smelled of stale coffee and disinfectant, a perfect match for the dull throb behind my eyes. This time, it wasn't about provoking him. It was just an accident, a stupid, clumsy mistake that resulted in a minor shoplifting charge. I was tired, distracted, and honestly, I just didn't care enough to argue with the store manager or the officer.
A kind-faced female officer, her uniform crisp and her voice gentle, leaned over. "You alright, honey? Looks like you've had a rough night." Her words, simple as they were, felt like tiny needles pricking a numb wound. I just nodded, unable to form a coherent response.
Then, a sound cut through the hazy silence. The distinct, measured click of expensive shoes on the linoleum floor. It was a rhythm I knew intimately, a cadence that used to signal safety, then control, and now... I didn't know what it signaled anymore. My breath hitched in my throat.
My stomach twisted into a knot, cold dread coiling in my gut. My hands, resting on my knees, clenched involuntarily. He was here. After all this time, after all my desperate bids for his attention, he was finally here, but not because I wanted him to be. Not because of love. Just because I was a problem he had to fix.
Kendrick Page stood in the doorway, a stark silhouette against the fluorescent lights. His tailored suit seemed out of place in the sterile environment, accentuating his controlled elegance. His dark eyes swept over the room, then landed on me. No surprise, no anger, just a cool, assessing gaze that made me feel utterly transparent.
He spoke to the desk sergeant, his voice low but authoritative, his words cutting through the bureaucracy like a laser. I heard snippets: "my ward," "misunderstanding," "paperwork." Within minutes, the atmosphere shifted. The kind officer offered me a bottle of water, her smile apologetic. The sergeant nodded deferentially to Kendrick. Just like that, my 'trouble' was dissolving, rendered insignificant by his mere presence.
He turned to me then, and I could only stare at my scuffed sneakers, unable to meet his gaze. The silence stretched, heavy and suffocating. I felt small again, a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar, and the shame burned hotter than any anger he could' ve shown.
A faint sigh escaped him. Then, a cool touch on my wrist. I flinched, pulling back slightly. He caught my hand, his thumb brushing over a small, fading bruise on my knuckles, a remnant from that bar fight. "What happened here?" His voice was still calm, but there was a subtle shift, a hint of something beneath the usual veneer.
My throat tightened. It had been so long since I'd said his name aloud, not in a desperate whisper, but in his presence. My eyes welled up, a wave of unshed tears threatening to spill. I swallowed hard. "Kendrick," I managed, the word a fragile plea.
He drew in a deep breath, his shoulders slumping almost imperceptibly. "Let's go home, Amirah." It wasn't an invitation. It was a command, heavy with resignation.
I rose slowly, my legs feeling heavy, and followed him out of the station. The automatic doors slid open, revealing the cold, dark streets of New York. My heart was a dull drum in my chest, a rhythm of defeat. Home. A place that felt colder than any street.
The drive back was silent, the city lights a blur outside the window. My mind, however, wasn't quiet. It was a whirlwind of memories, fragments of a past that had shaped this agonizing present. I remembered the first time he'd said 'home' meant with him. I was fifteen, newly orphaned, my world shattered into a million pieces. My father, his best friend, gone. My mother, who had always been a distant, ethereal figure, vanished long before that.
My father' s funeral was a blur of black suits and hushed condolences. I stood there, a ghost in my own life, clinging to the only constant I' d ever known – his hand. But his hand was cold, unresponsive. The world was too loud, too bright, too empty. I remembered thinking I would never feel warm again.
Then, Kendrick was there. He knelt before me, his eyes gentle, his voice a steady anchor in the storm. "Amirah," he said, his hand warm against my cold cheek, "I'm here. You're not alone." He was thirty-two then, already a successful corporate lawyer, stern and sharp to the outside world, but to me, he was a beacon. He promised to take care of me, to be my guardian. He moved me into his sprawling, minimalist penthouse, a world away from my childhood home. He enrolled me in the best schools, made sure I had everything I needed. He taught me how to tie a tie, how to navigate a formal dinner, how to argue a point with conviction. He became everything.
Seven years. Seven years of his unwavering presence, his quiet strength, his often-silent support that I mistook for something more. Seven years where the warmth of his hand on my cheek morphed into the crushing weight of unrequited love. Now, that warmth felt like a distant, cruel memory.
My mother had left when I was a toddler, a vague memory of a sweet, sad face and the scent of paint. Dad never spoke much about her, but the emptiness she left was a constant chill. Kendrick had filled that void, unintentionally, completely. He was the parent, the friend, the confidant I never truly had. And I, like a desperate plant starved for light, had turned all my growing tendrils towards him, twisting them into something he never asked for, never wanted.
He wasn't just my guardian; he was my entire world. He saved me, literally, from a life I couldn't imagine facing alone. How could I not love him? How could I not mistake gratitude for something deeper, or hope that his care was a different kind of love?
The car pulled up to his penthouse building, the familiar glass and steel façade towering over us. The silent journey was over, but the emotional one was just beginning.
He turned off the engine, plunging us into a deeper silence. He didn't look at me, his gaze fixed straight ahead. "Amirah," he began, his voice flat, "we need to be clear. My responsibility to you is as your guardian. Nothing more. That' s all it ever was." The words were clipped, precise, like a lawyer dissecting a case.
"You live under my roof," he continued, "you follow my rules. And my rules state that you conduct yourself with dignity. No more credit card stunts. No more police stations. No more childish games." His tone left no room for argument.
My chest felt heavy, as if a concrete slab had settled there. I swallowed the bitter lump in my throat. My head bowed, a silent acknowledgment of his decree. It was a surrender, not of will, but of spirit. What else was there to do?
He just wanted me to 'grow up.' To stop being a problem, a child, an emotional burden. He didn't want my love. He wanted my obedience. And in that moment, something shifted inside me. The fire that had burned so fiercely for him didn't die out with a whimper, but with a sudden, sharp crack, like ice splitting.
When I first ran from that penthouse after my confession, I had waited for his call. Every buzz of my phone was a tiny jolt of hope, a desperate prayer that he' d finally realize what he was losing.
Hours stretched into days. Days into weeks. The calls never came. I told myself he was testing me, that he was busy, that he was just waiting for me to come to my senses. But deep down, the silence was a growing tumor, consuming my hope.
One night, the silence became unbearable. I couldn't breathe. I hailed a cab, my heart pounding a frantic rhythm against my ribs, and drove back to his building. I stood across the street, watching his windows, the warm glow of his study lamp a cruel taunt in the darkness.
He was there, exactly where he always was, hunched over his desk, poring over legal documents. His face was a mask of concentration, his brow furrowed, but not with worry for me. Just with work. He looked utterly content, utterly undisturbed by my absence, by my pain.
That night, the bitter truth sank in. He wasn't indifferent because he was mad, or because he was trying to teach me a lesson. He was indifferent because he simply was. I wasn't a part of his emotional landscape. I was a responsibility, a duty, a problem to be managed. The thought was a chilling hand on my heart, squeezing the last remnants of warmth from it. How could someone be so utterly devoid of feeling for something they had nurtured for so long?
That's when the reckless stunts began. The credit cards, the missed classes, the minor brushes with trouble. Anything to shatter that impenetrable calm, to force a crack in his indifference. A misguided, desperate plea for him to see me, to react, to care.
But each time, it was the same. A delegated assistant, a detached email, a quiet instruction. Never the anger I craved, never the worry I secretly longed for. Just an efficient, legalistic cleanup of my messes.
I found myself walking a tightrope, pushing the boundaries, sometimes even of my own safety, just to hear his voice, to see him look at me with something other than that blank, assessing stare. The bruise on my hand, the one he' d just touched, was from a clumsy fall, but it might as well have been from a desperate shout into the void.
The worst, maybe, was the night I got truly, hopelessly drunk. I called him, not with a fake emergency, but with raw, unfiltered pain. "Why don't you love me, Kendrick?" I slurred, tears streaming down my face, "Why can't you just love me back?" It was a pathetic, broken plea into the phone, the words thick with bourbon and despair.
His voice, when it came, was a razor-sharp cut through my drunken haze. "Amirah," he said, calm as always, "you need to understand the difference between dependency and love. It's time for you to grow up. Truly grow up." He spoke those words to me, a girl crying her heart out, as if he were discussing a quarterly report. It was the last time I let myself truly break down for him.
His words were a bitter pill, leaving me with a profound, gnawing ache that settled deep in my bones. I spent days curled in my bed, the world outside a blurry, distant hum. My body felt as hollowed out as my heart, a constant exhaustion settling over me like a suffocating blanket. I was sick, not just emotionally, but physically too, a deep-seated chill I couldn't shake.
After that, I stopped. The ninety-nine days of rebellion faded into a quiet, painful acceptance. I went back to classes, found a part-time job, and tried to become the 'grown-up' he demanded. It was a tedious, lonely existence, but it was mine, and it was free of his elusive attention. I thought I was finally moving on, building a new life outside his shadow.
But then life, as it always does, threw another curveball. A late-night study session, a misplaced wallet, a sudden confrontation with a stranger who mistook me for someone else. It escalated quickly, and suddenly I was defending myself, not with anger, but with a cold, detached instinct I hadn't known I possessed. The police found me shaken, but unharmed, the other person more bruised than I was. I was taken in for questioning, a mere formality, but here I was again.
And just like before, here he was. Kendrick. My guardian. My tormentor. My inescapable past, pulling me back into its orbit.
He didn't ask about the details of what happened, about the stranger, about why I was out so late. His questions were purely procedural, aimed at minimizing his inconvenience. "Are you hurt?" he asked, his voice precise. Not "Are you okay?" but "Are you hurt?" The distinction felt like a chasm.
In that moment, watching him, seeing the casual way he handled my latest 'issue,' I finally understood. It wasn't about me. Not really. It was about his image, his responsibility, his control. The last fragile thread of hope, the one that had secretly persisted despite all the evidence, snapped with a soft, final sound. There was no love there for me. Not love like mine, anyway. Just duty, wrapped in indifference.
When we finally pulled up to the penthouse building, a strange feeling settled over me. There was a light on in the living room, a soft, unfamiliar glow. It wasn't the stark, cool light Kendrick usually preferred.
The light was warm, almost amber, a stark contrast to the usual sterile perfection of his home. It felt... feminine. Out of place. A shiver ran down my spine, a premonition of something unsettling.
Kendrick didn't use his key. He pressed the doorbell. A small, almost imperceptible gesture, but it sent a fresh wave of panic through me. He always used his key. Always.
The door opened, and a woman stood there. She was stunning, with fiery red hair that cascaded down her shoulders and eyes that sparkled with an almost predatory confidence. She was wearing one of Kendrick's shirts, oversized and casually draped, making her look both vulnerable and incredibly alluring. My breath caught.
Her eyes lit up when she saw Kendrick. She launched herself into his arms, wrapping herself around him, her face buried in his chest. He held her close, a soft, tender gesture I' d never seen him offer anyone, let alone me. It was a punch to the gut, stealing the air from my lungs.
I stood frozen, a statue carved from ice and pain. My mind reeled, trying to process the scene unfolding before me. This couldn't be real. Not after everything. Not after he had just cast me aside with such cold precision.
Kendrick smoothed her hair, his voice dropping to a low, melodic murmur I barely recognized. "Chrissy," he said, his tone laced with a tenderness that twisted a knife in my already bleeding heart. "What are you doing up so late?"
Chrissy pulled back slightly, her head turning. Her eyes, bright and inquisitive, landed on me. A slow, knowing smile spread across her face. "Oh, Kendrick, darling, is this... Amirah?" Her voice was sweet, almost too sweet.
She stepped forward, extending a perfectly manicured hand. "Hi there," she chirped, "I' m Chrissy. Chrissy Castro. It' s so lovely to finally meet you. Kendrick' s told me so much."
Then, her smile widened, a triumphant gleam in her eyes. She glanced at Kendrick, who offered her a gentle, reassuring squeeze on her shoulder. "I' m his fiancée," she announced, the words echoing in the silent hall, shattering the last vestiges of my shattered world into irreparable pieces. "We' re getting married."