Émie's Hell

Émie Carter:

"Get up soon, you bitch, or you'll miss the time to go to your hell." At the end of his words, there was a horrible, stomach-churning laugh.

My father wouldn't leave me alone, but my hatred for him only grew by the second, especially when he brought his friends into the house. Leaving me totally exposed, as the house was tiny and unfortunately my monthly income wasn't compatible with rent.

"I'm sorry about that, Émie. I hope that one day you can forgive me." It was always the same sentences, although I knew she wouldn't change anymore, not for the better, I always forgave her. She was my inspiration four years ago, when she was still living her dreams intensely, until she decided to go back to my father again.

"So long..." to say goodbye without looking into her eyes, which were now as empty as a forest without visitors.

As a child I imagined a happy life with my parents, but everything suddenly changed. The house was sold, we moved to another city and finally, I lost my best friend since moving to another city. I lost all will to live from the moment I won a scholarship to Harvard, but I had no chance of going, so I settled for studying literature in the hours when I had the privilege.

In the library where I worked, everything was old, most of the books were donated, although the salary wasn't very good, the place was simply fantastic.

The silence was something that people really appreciated, but deep down, the loneliness was eating me up inside.

"Good morning, I've brought you a cappuccino just the way you like it, with lots of cream." That voice was more than familiar, it was Betsy, my childhood best friend who I hadn't seen for two years.

"My G-O-D!" - were the only words I managed to say before getting up from the chair and hugging her tightly. "How did you manage to find me here? Forgive me for leaving without saying goodbye, I had no choice."

"It's all right, Émie. I ran into your mother the other day, so I asked her where you were living and she just gave me your work address. Why did you disappear without telling anyone? I spent everyday waiting for a message from you, thank God I found you, girl." Betsy hugged me tightly and for a moment I wished she'd always been there with me.

We were like flesh and blood, inseparable, until her parents moved into a mansion when we were 13, two years later my parents started moving out and since then they haven't left, even if one day they intend to, I hope I don't live with them anymore.

"I'm sorry, I really am! I wasn't very well and things only seemed to get worse, so I got rid of my cell phone and stayed away from all the news. I should have at least called from a pay phone, please forgive me." I gave her a weak smile, making her frown and smile out loud.

"I told you, everything's fine. Well... I have to stop disturbing you. Oh, I've rented an apartment nearby and I'll come and pick you up at 8pm, then we'll see what we can do." It's amazing how in two years, Bet hasn't changed at all in her personality, always rushed and without time.

"I missed you!" I shouted before she got into the car and she shouted back. People looked at me with disdain and went back to reading where they had left off, while I felt like a crazy person at that moment.

The bible shop closed at 6pm, but as they needed a person to clean the floor and remove the dust, I dedicated myself to doing an extra three hours every day, so I'd get a bit more on payday.

After doing everything, I felt exhausted. The tables are made of marble and are very heavy, sometimes I have to drag them to clean their feet and that exhausts me. Finally, the clock struck 19:57 when we heard a knock on the door, as it was locked.

"What are you still doing here? I thought they'd already closed." Betsy was ready to go wherever, unlike me.

"I need money, Betsy." She gave a little peck and a negative nod.

"Look, I didn't come all this way to get a no, so I've already got your clothes sorted. I know it's not really your thing, but I bet you'd love it, and you could even go out once in a while."

Betsy pulled me into the car without even giving me time to think. Her apartment was simply marvelous and a dream, no envy! Her blood-red dress was beautiful, her outfit was a perfect match for her shoulder-length hair.

"Come on, get changed..." without warning, she hugged me tightly, kissed my cheek and said: "I think the best thing in my life was meeting you. I have so many things to tell you, Émie."

"Without a doubt, the best thing in my life was always having you there. I remember as if it were today, you stealing cupcakes from your afternoon coffee to take to me, I... I can't tell you how much you helped me to keep going without wanting to give up."

"All right! Now get dressed, it's our night. Have you told your parents you're going to sleep over?"

"Yes!" I lied. I hated lying, but it was something I didn't want to talk about at the moment. Betsy was too happy to worry about other people's problems, not even mine.

Although I liked nice things, they were too expensive and I couldn't afford them, but Bet always managed not to make a problem of it. The long lilac dress was perfect, the details were as if it had been made for me. My curves were on show, which made me a little embarrassed that I had nothing to show, after all, I'm not tall, let alone slim. - Oh my God! - I said when I saw the pair of heels that Betsy had put on there, which must have cost at least two houses that I currently live in.

"Betsy, you can't do this. I don't want you to worry about me, I'm fine, and you need to think more about your future." She didn't answer, but kept her eyes fixed on the mirror, trying to make her eyelashes as long as possible.

"You know that Michael is fascinated by heels, don't you? He asked me to give you something nice that you liked, so..."

"Michael!" I said softly, feeling a pang in my chest, as if it were possible to re-live everything I had experienced in the past, when we lived nearby. Until he left on my birthday, we had arranged to run away when I turned 18, but it was all just a joke.

(...)

Betsy, who hadn't stopped talking for a minute, had finally found someone, giving me a chance to go to the bathroom on my own.

Nervousness completely overwhelmed me, having the ability to stop my thoughts and stir up my fears. I was afraid of my parents finding me and embarrassing Bet; I'm afraid of loving someone too much who didn't want me and, among many others, the one that scares me the most is never being able to be truly happy, away from all this. The white powder right in front of me was what kept me going for the rest of the night, which wasn't a bad thing. With a fifty, I made a straw, placed it on the end of the white list and sucked it in with my nose in one go, feeling bitterness in my mouth the next moment.

"Come on, Émie, please!" the knocks on the door became constant, but it was possible to hear voices other than Betsy's, which indicated that she wasn't alone, but had a few people by her side.

"I'm coming out, just a minute." I put everything that could be traces away in my bag, tidied my hair and tried to look as normal as possible.

"Come on, I want you to meet some people." Betsy grabbed me by the hand and pulled me into the crowd, leaning her elbows on the counter as she placed her order with the others.

(...)

I met all of Betsy's friends, drank a lot in the hope of dreaming the night away of a life far away from my parents, and finally realized that my time to leave had come. Betsy knew how to take care of herself, she never drank too much, I made sure she was sober, and she was! I said goodbye and left, lying that I would call a cab when I got out of there.

My head was dizzy, my body staggered sideways with every step forward, as if I was going to fall over at any moment. The street was deserted, with no cars on the pavement, so I thought "this was the perfect time to cross the street. I held my heels firmly in my hands and stepped forward, my body being thrown away the next moment. I felt my body relax and my eyes gradually closed...

Michael Williams:

Trouble seemed to haunt me, as if it were a way of making me suffer for my past actions. It was a Thursday evening, I had just left an extremely boring lecture, when I decided to go to a nearby bar. Before I could order the Princess Dose, Lilian was calling me and sending me naked photos, hoping that I would answer her and maybe be hers tonight too.

"Lilian..." I was really full, I'd had a bad day, and as if that wasn't enough, Lilian was calling me just for sex and lust.

"Michael, you don't seem nervous when you're inside my mouth." her voice became more and more irritating and every day I asked myself what I did to deserve this, or why I didn't know how to get away with it while I could.

"We've talked about this, Lilian. There's no longer the two of us, there's just you and me. I want to see you well, but we don't work out anymore, after all, we never worked out, we just lived together and..."

"I don't need your help or your money, I just want you and nothing else, Michael. Sometimes you seem to want to complicate things between us. Can't you see that we were made for each other? We both deserve each other, my love!"

"See you later, Lilian." I decided not to drink for the time being, so I went home.

It was raining, the streets were empty and it was very cloudy, you couldn't see very well who was passing by, and that's when I hit someone...

The airbag was triggered, so I got out as quickly as I could and saw the skinny body lying on the ground, right in the middle of a puddle of water, but the water was already red from the blood that had been spilled. I approached quickly, picking up the small body from the ground and carrying it to the car as quickly as possible.

"I'm going to take you to the hospital." And the man who seemed to no longer be alive mumbled a few words that I didn't quite understand, but I retorted. "You should watch where you're going!"

"I don't need a hospital. I need to go home." she was stubborn, but there was no time to contradict her, her situation was precarious.

"Where do you live?"

"455 Dairo Street. It's on the left!" For a moment, our gazes met, giving me goosebumps.

"I know where it is." For a second, and for the first time, I realized that I had spoken rudely to someone again, but she didn't seem to mind.

The silence was disturbing, even though she was in pain, she didn't say anything or make a sound. Worried, I looked back and saw her crying, but without any expression. She was beautiful, but now she was dirty and broken, because of me. I couldn't leave her like that.

I stopped the car at the corner and looked back, getting a fucking glimpse of her heaving breasts as she tried to hold herself up and open the door.

"Leave me here, please." Slowly she left, looking at me and saying her last words. "You were wrong not to kill me." She smiled weakly and walked off, leaving the car right there and following her.

The street was deserted, the people who were there were only there to use drugs or have sex in the dark alleys.

Her house was modern, but uncared for. The gate was rusty, the money was high and the trees were covering the front of the house. The girl came in and I heard a slap, it couldn't have been what I was thinking!

"What happened to you, you bitch? You left home in one piece and came back broken pink, do you want us to do something for you? Well, you know you'll have to bear the consequences..." the voice was female, but who should it be to speak like that with such authority? "After all, were you trying to take your own life again?"

"I've never tried to take my own life, I'm not as stupid as you are. And I was walking absent-mindedly and fell into a manhole on my way back from a party." His sweet, calm voice was attractive but sad.

"So you must have money! Or was it just a fall? Wasn't it someone who knocked you over?" this time, the manly voice shouted, as if it was going to go from there to worse. "When I'm talking to you, look at me, do you understand me?"

"Yes, Dad!" so those were her parents?

I wouldn't be selfish enough to just listen to her suffering without doing anything...

"I'd like to talk to your daughter!" she said after a tall, thin lady with gray hair in a ponytail opened the door.

"Émie's not here, if you want to talk to her, call her!" before the lady could close the door, I put my foot in to block it from being closed.

"I've lost my cell phone, I've also lost your number. Could you write it down for me? I can pay for that favor!"

It wasn't difficult, in less than two minutes I had your number written down on a piece of paper. I handed him a hundred-dollar bill, which made him smile, said goodbye and left.

My conscience was weighed down by the fact that I hadn't done anything, even though I was working on automatic. My thoughts were confused and Lilian had managed to mess them up in an inexplicable way.

I didn't leave until I was sure that it really was her phone number, so I called, and when I heard her voice, I quickly hung up.

(...)

"Good evening, Michael. As there was no communication, I left last night and I'm arriving now. Is there a problem?" Rose was my light, she was the one I looked for in the chaos. She was always there for me, and when I moved out on my own, she decided she wanted to come with me. She was my mother in my spare time, when my mother was working.

"All right, Rose. If it's okay with you, I'd like to give you a vacation, as many days as you want. There has to be something you want to do, I don't know... visit someone or somewhere." I wanted some time to myself, she didn't bother me, but she was there all the time.

"I'd love to go and visit your grandmother, I'm sorry about your mother, but everything will be fine." Her arms wrapped around me in a warm, comfortable hug. "You can call me if you need anything, or if you just want to talk."

"Thank you, Rose."

She didn't take long, within half an hour Rose had packed her bags and was waiting for a cab to take her. There were a thousand and one thoughts in my head right now, more than half of them about Émie. I needed to know how she was, but her mother had lied about her not being there, so at least I now had her number.

I took a cold shower and before I did anything else, for the first time I felt like I had to call someone. If that girl died because of me, I'd never forgive myself, and I couldn't come to terms with the things I'd heard at her house.

I dialed the numbers and it didn't take long for her to pick up...

"Hello! Who is it?" - his voice was low, as if he'd answered out of obligation or expecting something.

"Hi... it's me! I just want to know if you're okay. I was worried about your condition, I've never seen someone refuse help after being hit by a car."

"I'm fine. Thanks for your concern, but there's no need to worry about it. It was my distraction."

"All right... If you need anything, or still want to see a doctor, you can call back. If I can help with any val..." yeah... she was less patient than me.

Before the call ended, I heard a scream where she was, so she hung up. A few minutes passed, but there was no return call, so I didn't call again, as there was nothing more to say at that moment.

With Rose gone, I could now focus a little more on things at home, since I'd been away most of the time. We're only two weeks into a new semester and I'm completely out of my mind.

Émie Carter:

The pain didn't allow me to sleep. I waited for my parents to leave and went to the bathroom to assess the extent of the damage to my body...

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, and it was dreadful. The left side of my face was bruised and slightly swollen, but nothing that an ice pack couldn't fix. My thighs were also scratched, and my whole body ached. Luckily, it was raining, so I could bundle up well and cover my body better. For a moment, I found myself thinking about the guy from the car; perhaps I should have accepted his help, as I'm feeling terrible. After a quick shower, I made a sandwich and stuffed it into my bag. I let my hair down, grabbed my coat, and headed to work.

"Good morning, Miss Carter. Well... since you're already here, we were wondering if you could stay after closing today to remove the dust from the books and shelves. Payment will be made right away." Well, at least I would earn some extra money today.

"Of course I want to, besides, you know that I'm always here when you need me," Mrs. Emília was generous with me, she was a mysterious woman with a stern face, but she was sweet.

It was the first time she paid me so well for a somewhat mediocre job. There were two envelopes with 200 dollars each, which was almost half of my salary, and if I save well, I can leave home soon.

"Your salary will also increase, dear. You do the hard work with love, as if being cooped up in here all day was the best thing in the world. I don't know anyone better to take care of this library than you," her small eyes disappeared when she smiled.

Indeed, it was the best place for me to be at the moment. But it wasn't where I wanted to be forever; I still held out hope for a positive response from one of the universities. A scholarship would be enough for me, I wouldn't think twice...

The rainy day attracted many people, and as a courtesy, I made coffee and tea to serve whoever wanted some. I was pouring a cup of tea when I turned and met those pair of perfect green eyes.

"Good morning," my eyes read his good morning before his lips, it was unsettling, but I was still under the influence of the medication I took before leaving home. "What would you recommend for today?"

"I suppose you have good taste, but if you want something to cry over on a rainy day, reread Romeo and Juliet, I know you've already read it!" He looked intelligent, and that was sexy, along with his smooth, husky voice, it was also exciting.

"Why does rain evoke sadness in you?"

"It's not the rain, it's life itself." I placed the book in front of him and stopped at the counter, observing the constant stream of people coming in and out. "Would you like tea? Or coffee?"

"Tea, please!"

While pouring the hot water into the cup, I glanced over to where he was sitting and saw him reading the first pages. Who is this man, after all? His glasses made him even sexier, with an intellectual look and... well, he was handsome. I placed the cup on a saucer and carried it over to him.

"Here you go!" I placed it on the table and turned away, feeling his hand holding mine the next moment.

"Keep me company! If it's not bothering you, of course."

I sat in the chair next to him and grabbed a random book, as it would be impossible to read near someone, that was a terrible insecurity I always had. He smelled good, a mixture of wood and alcohol. Finally, someone wanted to rent a book and needed the seal, and I had to do it. I got up quickly, and before I could step away, I felt him touch a strand of my hair, bringing it to his nose; it all happened very quickly. I walked to the counter and sealed the book for the lady who had a terrible look on her face.

"Here you go, enjoy!" She smiled, thanked me, and left.

I looked around, and he was no longer there; the book was back on the shelf, and his cup was in the sink. How did he do all this so quickly?

(...)

The day seemed not to pass; in the afternoon, few people came, and after 3:00 p.m., no one else appeared. It was a Thursday, like any other, and just as melancholic. I closed the doors and thanked for closing; it was ugly, and the wind was making me freeze more and more. I lit the fireplace and felt the atmosphere warm up. Without haste, I started removing the book by book, putting them in a box in order and placing them next to the shelf. About half an hour later, there were about five empty shelves, and there were a total of 17 shelves, not counting other antique pieces that also stored books. I took a deep breath and went to work. My nose itched every second I felt the dust entering my nostrils, so to avoid that, I put my shirt over my face, and thus I could clean most of the shelves without sneezing and without dust. After a few hours, everything was in its proper place, and finally, I checked the time, and it was already past 11:20 p.m. "Damn!" I cursed, and I was sure I had missed the last bus; walking home wouldn't be so bad... when you're totally fine physically, and I feel "broken." It had started raining, even weakly, it was soaking me. There was no way to leave like this. With no choice, I went to the bus stop; it was the only place I could shelter from the rain.

Thunder rumbled incessantly, the strong wind nearly toppling trees, and without a coat, I was shivering from the cold. A lightning bolt had just struck very close to where I was, which scared me because besides the thunder, there were now lightning bolts and hail.

The car approaching the bus stop made me tremble all over, but when the window rolled down and he showed himself, I felt relieved and internally thanked that it wasn't anyone else.

"Get in the car, I'll take you home." I thought about hesitating and saying no, but I couldn't bear the cold anymore, and I was very hungry.

I crossed over and got in, sitting in the back seat with care not to wet the car seat. I placed my bag on my lap, and he drove on silently.

"I wasn't nice that day, I was in pain and stressed. Thank you for taking me home instead of to the hospital," I said in a low voice. Honestly, I didn't expect him to respond, but I was surprised!

"I did the bare minimum, if even that!" He spoke with a slight disdain in his tone. "I should have taken you to a hospital, I imagine the pain hasn't lessened, am I right, Émie?"

"No. It's decreased a bit. It's just that I spend so many hours lost in books that I don't even notice anything different in my daily life."

"Must be a great job you have, but not as good as actually enjoying life. What led you to work in that library?" His question was somewhat unanswered because I never thought about why; I just saw it as a convenient job when I was hired.

"I needed a job, and they gave me one." He looked at me and shook his head afterward, as if I was telling him something funny.

"Your tone of voice gives away that you're lying!" The car braked suddenly, throwing my body backward and then forward with the momentum. I felt his careful yet intimidating pair of eyes on me. "These bastards should look behind instead of stopping all of a sudden," he muttered quietly, but it was audible due to the silence between us.

"I'm not lying... I really needed a job, and luckily, they needed someone who could also do overtime, and here I am."

"Why didn't you look for something else?" Besides being curious, he was also arrogant, and I didn't even know his name.

"Do you think anyone would hire a problematic person? I don't think so..."

"You don't seem problematic to me; I could be wrong, but that's what I see when I look at you." What was that? A compliment or something?

"Indeed, I'm not, but my parents are!" As we turned the corner, I noticed that he didn't stop, so I decided to speak up; I didn't want to arrive home late. I didn't want to hear any more useless things. "If you don't mind, you can stop here, please!" Before opening the door, I felt his touch on my hand, and I quickly turned to him.

"If you don't mind, I'd rather drop you off at home. You could catch pneumonia and die."

"That's not very convincing."

"Is Miss looking for words to convince her, Miss Émie?"

"No. I don't even know your name. You shouldn't even be here. If you don't mind, I have to go. Thank you for the ride!"