iGhost You

It was a pleasant friday morning, the sky was blue like never before as the warm sunshine gleamed gracefully on my skin. I could hear a dog barking continuously from a distance, people chattering as they walked by and I just tapped my feet on the ground relentlessly. It felt like it was just the perfect morning for a teenager for a teenage girl like me but it really wasn't because I felt I might get to school late if my brother didn't come out of the house in few moments. I was dressed in a blue jean and a grey long sleeve shirt with a jacket over my shirt.

My hair was packed in a ponytail style but not in a very neat way and I had no makeup on but I had my glasses on. My glasses were as big as the reading glasses in the 80s, which made me look more nerdy. I patiently waited for my brother to come out of the house, while I kept wondering who was the girl between I and my brother. My brother always took forever to come out of the house everyday while I wait for him outside and stare at people going and coming especially the house opposite ours. I was already used to it that I sometimes forgot that I was even going to school or waiting for my annoying brother. I didn't have a choice but to wait for my him since he was the one driving me to school. We both owned the car because our parent could only afford one for their cute little twins but no one could ever know the car also belonged to me because my brother was always driving. He never allowed me to drive whenever we were going to school. "I told you to get more milk" A woman yelled across the street. "We have enough milk for God sake" her husband replied. "I don't care, I just want more milk in this house." She yelled again. Obviously she was heavy with a baby in her stomach and seemed to soon deliver. "I don't care, just get the milk. I don't want those milk in the fridge. My baby needs fresh milk" "Okay...I'll get the milk after work" her husband replied "No, get it nowww...." she bursted into tears. I really didn't get why she had to cry over the milk. Maybe it was because pregnant women were just like that. "Come on sweetie...." her husband moved closer to her and hugged her "don't cry, I promise to get the milk. Ok" "Ok" she became calm all of a sudden and I think I smiled that moment. "But I need to be at work now, I'll get it when coming home" he said in a pitiful way. "I hate you....go away, I don't ever wanna see your face again" she pushed her poor husband away with speed and she started to cry again. "Come on honey...please" her husband pleaded as he tried to get a hold of her. I giggled softly as I watch the two go on and on about the milk issue, it happened every morning between both of them but the husband seems patient that is why he had not been able to run away from his pregnant wife's madness. I soon got tired of watching when I felt a slight pain in my head, I gently rubbed my head with my hand like I was massaging it. I had been feeling the pain ever since I woke up that morning but I thought it would go in no time. I adjusted my glasses, looked at my wrist watch and noticed I was really getting late for school "oh no....come on Max" I whispered to myself as I bit down on my lower lip. Shortly after, my brother walked out of the house, looking cute and macho in his tight jeans; which didn't really look that good on him, his hair was dark and shinny, he sure must have spent hours on it to make it look so good. Despite looking good, it somehow irritated me. Everything about Max irritated me. Ughh!!! He smirked as he walks closer to me with his backpack over his shoulder. I slightly shook my head and raised my brow as the sight of seeing my brother walking majestically like we still had enough time to make it to school. "Enjoying the morning show?" Max asked hopping to annoy me a little more. He was good at making fun of me and frustrating me. He really didn't care that we were siblings or twins. "You know...I've been wondering who the lady is between us because I get to finish before you and even wait for years before you come out of the house" I said raising my brow sternly at him. "Wait...what?" Max placed his right hand behind his ear pretend not to hear what I just said "what did you say? So you still think you're a girl?" He scoffed "dear sister when last did you even used the mirror? 'Cos if you have been using it, you would know exactly what you look like right now" I looked at myself and wished I could really see my face at that moment. Did I really look that bad? I narrowed my eyes at him and wish I could get him for what he said "I'll make you eat your words" I furrowed my brows at him. I hated my brother but there was really no way I could get back at him. He was always two steps ahead of me in mischiefs. "Oh yeah?" Max asked knowing I just made an empty threat. "I've been winning like one thousand times and you have won zero times, so..... I don't think so" "I hate you" I yelled and kicked my feet "I doubt that too....just get in or you'll find your way to school on you own" "I also have a right to this car, you know that right?" I said "Who cares?" Max scoffed. "I'm telling dad to take the car" I threatened. Like I would really do that. "You wouldn't" Max said with confidence knowing he has something to back himself up "except you want Tia to know how you feel about her boyfriend" "Uhh..." I looked at him with disgust. He was just so evil. Tia was a cheerleader in my school and she was the girlfriend of the school soccer team captain. Well her boyfriend happened to be the boy I was crushing on and I wouldn't be too good for me if Tia found out. No one wants to mess with anyone in the cheerleading team. "Since when have you been crushing on him? Since he was born?" Max asked jokingly. He was really having fun with it that morning. "Just shut up, Max" "Oh..." he snapped his fingers "I think I know, before his dad met his mum. Yea" he laughed out loud. I stood still, staring and thinking of what to do to my brother. I wish I could shove some carrots into his throat, maybe that will shut him up. "Don't look at me like that, okay. Get into the car now" Max said and hopped into the car. I stood still on a spot without moving thinking of what to really do with my brother. He could see the hate I felt for him at that moment but he wasn't bothered "hurry up" he shouted I got into the car angrily, slammed the door and fasten my seat belt. Max fastened his seat belt too, started the car and zoomed off caring less about how I felt. That moment, I wanted to kill my brother...

First period was over in no time and I decided to get some books from my locker. I lowered my head as I walked to my locker trying to avoid any eye contact with anyone. My heart twitched at the thought of what my twin brother said to me earlier in the day. I couldn't believe he threatened to tell Tia that I was crushing on her boyfriend. He was my brother, my twin brother. I wouldn't be able to live if Tia got to know that I liked her boyfriend; Because if Tia ever found out, everyone in the school was definitely going to know about it.

Tia was such a big mouth especially her clique of devil's advocates who were also cheerleaders. Nothing in the school ever passed them by and if anyone ever tried to cross their paths or step on their toes, they would make life a living hell for the person. I would never want to be in a situation like that with them. "Hey, watch it" A boy who bumped into me said. "I'm sorry" I replied as I adjusted my glasses without looking at him and gently walked away to my locker. I opened my locker and I kept the books with me in my locker and brought out another book. I closed my locker and there was my two best friends Emma and Kim standing right in front of me with their sheepish smiles. I had known Emma and Kim since the day I tripped and spilled soda all over the two girls. I ran away to the bathroom to cry before anyone of them could say anything. I really hated myself that day because I felt I just couldn't do anything right. Emma and Kim came to the bathroom yelling, I guessed they were ready to punch out my front teeth until they saw me crying and just went mute. Since then, they had become my confidant and best friends. They always tried to boost my confidence everyday. "Hey girlfriend" Kim said giving me a broad smile which complemented her bright golden eyes. She had a short yellow dress on which fitted her slim body perfectly. "Hi" I said softly. I couldn't find myself talking out loud. It seemed like Max's threats suddenly took my voice away that morning. "What's wrong?" Emma, my other friend asked. She must have really noticed that something was wrong. That was so Emma-she always figured things out. "You've been like this since morning" she added. Emma had a sort of intimidating height that made me stop looking up at her sometimes. I smiled as I looked away. "I'm fine" I said trying to hide my feelings behind my glasses. "Come on, tell us" Kim insisted with a pout. So childish. "Max made fun of how I dress and threatened to tell Tia i'm crushing on her boyfriend" I looked down at my legs which were already locked together. "What??" Kim and Emma almost screamed in surprise. They were probably wondering how my own twin brother could be so mean. It wasn't like they didn't knew what kind of person Max was but they felt things should be different with me. He should always be on my side. But that wasn't Max. He loved to pick in everyone around him, including my friends. "Your brother is such a devil" Kim said "But a cute one though" She added with a smile. I and Emma gazed at her and shook our heads. He was really a devil just like Kim said. He once played a trick on Kim when she came over for a sleep over and same thing with Emma. Emma's own was always worse and he made sure to upset her at every chance that he got. They knew by now he was never up to something good. He was always mischievous. "But you shouldn't let that get to you, he will never do that to you. He's such a fool to think of that. Just forget about it" Emma said. She was acting like she didn't know Max. Max always did anything he said he was going to do. I guess she was just saying that to help me forget about it. "Okay" I nodded. Talking to them already lightened up my sad mood, it always did whenever I was around them. They knew when something was wrong and when everything was right with me. Especially Emma, she knew the right things to say to calm me down whenever I was nervous. "Thanks guys...I love you" I said with a faint smile. "We wouldn't let Max ruin our mood before the party" Emma said. She sounded happy. I just remembered there was a party I was supposed to go with them at night. But I wasn't sure if I wanted to go. "Have you decided what to put on yet?" Kim asked "Uhh...I don't think I would be going" I replied with a shrug. "Oh...not again. Why?" Kim asked in a sad tone. She and Emma had been hoping I would go to a party with them for the very first time but it seemed it wasn't going to happen any time soon "I have to finish up my science project and I've also been having this head ache since morning. I thought it would go away but it wouldn't. I don't think going to a party is the best option for me" I said. What a pathetic excuse but I hoped that would lay them off my back. "Come on Alex, you really need some fun in your life. I know you love to do your science stuff but you shouldn't always cling to your science stuff all the time, it's boring. Kim and I love basketball but we don't let that get in our way. You need to loosen up girlfriend" Emma said "You always come up with an excuse, please change your mind. You could get to meet Kent..." Kim said, still hoping to change my mind "Speaking of Kent, check out who's coming" Emma said excitedly. I turned around and I saw him. Kent Harris. The boy I wished I could grab and shove him into my backpack before running to a far far away land. Kent was walking towards where I and my friends were standing. He looked charming and sexy in his brown jacket. His bright blue eyes were sparkling and his straight blonde hair was looking smooth. He smirked and made his lips even more sexy. My heart began to pound really fast, it felt like there was not enough air for me to breath in. It felt like the doors and windows were locked and I might suffocate soon. I could feel myself starting to sweat on my forehead and palm. "What do you say?" Emma asked "Hmm...." I kept staring at Kent and blushing, so many things started to run through my mind. I pictured him shirtless and imagined if I could get a kiss from him but suddenly Tia, Kent's girlfriend came out of nowhere and kissed him on the cheek. My heart froze for a moment at the sight of her with Kent. She was looking like a goddess in her blue cheerleader uniform and her long blonde hair over her shoulder. Everyone smiled at them while there were also people like my friends in the hallway rolling their eyes and hoping that Tia got hit by a fast moving train. It was a bad thing to wish for someone but no one could really help but feel that way. I suddenly felt heartbroken and I turned around to face my friends. "I don't think I want to go" I said "Ughh...that witch, why did she have to show up this very moment" Emma rolled her eyes in disappointment. "Come on Alex, please come with us to the party" Kim pleaded, she was pouting again. I wished she would stop doing that thing with her mouth. "I'm sorry guys, I think I'd be better off staying at home. You could send me pictures" I replied with a weak smile. I didn't think it made any sense going to a party to watch the boy that I liked so much and his girlfriend make my night miserable. It was better for me to stay at home, watch movies and probably cry whenever I thought of Kent. "It's alright then, I'll make sure you get every details in the pictures" Kim said and did her cute naive giggles. The bell rang for the next period. " it's time for the next period" I said sheepishly. "Come on, let's go" Emma and Kim grabbed me by each arm and we scurry to the class for our next period. But the truth was that I didn't want to go to class, I really didn't feel like doing anything...

After I got back from school with Max, I went straight up to my room and threw myself on the bed. Immediately the smell of rose invaded my nostrils. I was really exhausted from the bad day that I had, I couldn't even do anything. I was only able to think about my horrible day with Max and everything else. "He's such a pain in the *ss" I said to myself as I thought of Max. He was always making my life miserable at any chance he got. I sometimes couldn't help but ask myself over and over again why I was destined to have someone like Max as a twin brother.

"Probably a twin sister would have been better" I would say that to myself so many times if Max was at it with me again. It was not as if Max was that bad but he derived joy in frustrating other people. I should be an exception but no, Max was just being Max. Despite everything, I loved him still. I knew even when Max was always being Max, he was still my brother and he always stood up for me whenever he had to. My thoughts slowly flickered back to Kent and Tia, and how the two were all over each other in school. Then I knew that moment I can never have a shot no matter how small with Kent. That was all I could think of as I slowly drifted to sleep. *** Few hours later, I was still lying in bed. I could hear my door creaked open but I was too tired to open my eyes to know who came in. "hey honey" A sweet voice like an angel's called out to me. It sounded like my mom's but I really didn't care to know. My eyes were too heavy to open up. "Sweetie....get up" my mom said. I opened my eyes this time and tried to sit up with my mom's help. "Honey what's wrong? I've checked on you twice but it doesn't seems you wanna get up soon" my mom said. "Nothing...i'm fine. I'm having this slight headache, that's all" I replied trying not to bother my mom. I know my mom would be so worried, she was always so restless whenever it came to her kids. The love of a mother for her children is incomparable to anything in the world. "Headache?" My mom said and touched my forehead "Oh no! You're burning up" she said in a very shocking tone. "Come on...get up, come down stairs with me. I'll get u some pain relief and make you some manzanilla tea. Then I'll call Doctor Martin to book an appointment with him" she said as she helped me get out of bed and take me out of the room. Max and my little sister, Jane were watching a movie on our big screen television. My mom helped me to sit on the couch in the sitting room gently and covered my body with a blanket . Automatically, anyone who was ill in the house automatically became mom's favourite. Max and dad were good at pretending just to become mom's favourite. "Max, make your sister some manzanilla tea. I'll get her some pain relief to use" my mom said "Can't she make her own tea?" Max questioned. There he goes again, acting like the evil brother. "Do it now" my mom commanded "Okay...fine" Max huffed after the straight look my mom gave him and left for the kitchen to make the tea while my mom went to get me the pills I needed to take from the first-aid box My mom gave me the pills while Max handed the tea cup to me after squinting his eyes at me. I took the pills and tea, then rested my back on the couch. "What do you want for dinner?" my mom asked "Nothing, mom...I'm not hungry" I replied. I really don't feel like eating, I think I suddenly lost my appetite. Maybe it was because of Kent and Tia. Looking at those two made me to want to throw up. "Well I want a big plate of spaghetti" Max said as he pointed at his stomach. I tolled my eyes. "I wasn't talking to you" mom replied, cocking her head to the side. "Come on mom, your new favourite person isn't hungry" Max said jokingly "If you keep going on like that, you might miss the party" my mom threatened. "What?" Max said in a low tone "uhm...i'll just sit quietly and watch TV" Max said and sat quietly. I really wish I could laugh but there wasn't enough strength to laugh. "I'll go make dinner, Jane sweetie come with mommy to the kitchen" mom said and headed to the kitchen. "Okay mommy" Jane stood up and followed mom to the kitchen. Another three hours went by, I was still in the sitting room on the same spot but with a blanket over my leg. I sat quietly while watching movie with my little sister Jane, my mom and my dad. We were watching my favourite TV series, The Flash. I really loved superhero movies and anything that has to do with science. Max wasn't home, he already left for the party, he really behaved himself within the few minutes he was home so he could make it the party. The worse part of my mom and dad allowing him to go to parties was that he had to be back as early as possible. Max had no choice except he wanted to miss out on every parties till he was done with high school. I soon started receiving pictures from my two friends, I felt sad that I missed the party. That moment I wished I had made it to the party. It made me really sad that my friends are having fun without me. The pictures kept rolling in that I couldn't concentrate on the movie I was watching. Kim sent me a picture that was showing Kent and Tia in the background of the picture. I think she did it intentionally. That really crushed my mood and made me loose interest in the movie. "Mom, dad, I think I should go to bed now" I said and fake a yawn, pretending to be feeling sleepy. "Okay honey....." my mom said "Goodnight mom, goodnight dad...." I said and stood up from the sofa. "Goodnight sweetie" my dad replied "Goodnight baby" my mom said "...night Jane" I gave my little sister a kiss on her forehead. "Goodnight Alex" Jane said I went straight up to my room and sat on the bed. I looked at the pictures again and rolled my eyes at the one with Kent and Tai, then I tossed my phone on the bed. I looked behind me and saw my diary lying on the bed, I picked it up and started to pour out my mind into my diary just like every other night. Almost everything in my diary was about Kent and my feelings for him. Dear diary, I don't really like today so much. I don't feel good and neither am I happy. Today was a mess, I was a mess and school was a total mess. Max threatened to tell Tia i'm crushing on Kent. Kent and Tia looked like a perfect couple. Seeing Kent today was the only good thing about today but seeing Kent and Tia together shattered my heart. But it also made me realise not all dreams can come true and sometimes we can't always be with someone we love. I dropped my pen, closed my diary and placed it under her pillow. I took a deep breath before I finally lay my back on the bed and stared at the fan hoping to be lost to the darkness.