You're Mine.

I was at a time when loneliness was eating away at my soul.

It's only been a week since I came to this city I knew nothing about. Although it seemed like a good idea to study away from my family at first, I deeply felt that I was alone in this huge city that I was a stranger to. As someone who had longed for loneliness and silence for years and who got into university just to get away from the family home, I shouldn't have complained about this. But I couldn't help myself. For days, I had been wandering around a city I didn't know, among people I didn't know. I still haven't met anyone I can get along with. This wasn't an interesting situation though, I've never been a girl who makes friends easily.

The way home from school was the only way I knew. While the bitter cold of October was penetrating my hair and skin, my favorite song was echoing in my ears. I loved walking while listening to music on my way home. Every day I returned with the same songs and the same steps, but I enjoyed it tremendously. Another thing I enjoyed was swinging on the old swing in the garden next door. From the first day I arrived at my apartment, the detached house next door attracted my attention with its impressive architecture. It was a two-story house with a small garden. The garden gate was low and unlocked. I was sure that the owners of the house were away because I didn't see any people around and the lights were always off. So I would go there almost every day, on my way home from school, and swing on the swings until I finished a few more songs. It may sound childish, but it felt really good.

Last night was the first time I saw anyone enter that house. When the young man's vague smile came to mind, I got chills again. This small movement on a stranger's face haunted me throughout the night. I turned my head and looked to my right. I didn't even realize I had arrived as I was lost in thought. I slowed down my steps and stopped in front of the garden of the house. The house was no longer empty, its owner had arrived. I couldn't go in and swing as easily as I used to. Moreover, the young man who entered the house yesterday was brought by the officials. There was something unusual.

I looked at the house carefully. The windows, as always, were covered with dark curtains. There was no one in the garden. As always, desolation and silence prevailed over the house. Maybe the owner had gone somewhere again. Maybe he wasn't home for a while. After waiting for a few minutes, I couldn't resist and opened the garden gate. I quickly entered the garden and headed towards the old swing. I took off my black backpack and placed it on the ground. After taking one last look at the house, I turned around and carefully sat on the swing. I held on tightly to the chains of the swing, bringing the sound of the music playing in my ears to an end. Then I let go and started swinging. I stared at the sky covered with dark clouds, ignoring my dark blond hair that was scattered with the cool breeze blowing gently. I felt like I was flying. It was like I was miles above the earth. A meaningless smile appeared on my face. I just wanted to fly for a few minutes. I just wanted to leave this dirty world for a few minutes and wander among the untouched clouds of the sky. As soon as I gathered enough of this little happiness in my blood, I was going to get off. I was going to leave before the young man came and saw me. It wouldn't even take me five minutes to get home.

I slowly started to slow down my swing. It was the last seconds of my flight and the song I was listening to... I wanted to return home without getting caught. I wanted to leave without any strange incidents. I slowed down a lot to get off the swing. I stopped my swing by rubbing the soles of my shoes on the ground. I reluctantly removed the headphones from my ears and carelessly threw them into the side pocket of my bag lying on the floor. As I was getting ready to get up, I heard footsteps behind me.

"Why did you stop?" This impressive voice coming from behind me stunned me for a moment. I quickly released the chains of the swing and turned my head toward the direction of the sound. I quickly got off the swing and saw the young man standing behind me. I looked into the honey-colored eyes watching me carefully. These were the eyes that found me through the curtains last night. I wonder how long he had been standing there, watching me?

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have entered without permission..." As soon as I started to explain, she raised her hand and parted her full, red lips;

"Does not matter." Immediately afterward, the same smile appeared on his face as he had last night. At that moment, I realized once again that her smile was chillingly beautiful. It was much more effective up close. He had pure white skin, a small nose, and bright, honey-colored eyes. Her lips were full and red. His eyebrows were sparse but shaped, his cheekbones were high and prominent. In short, he had a charm that will not be forgotten easily. I have never seen a face so carefully created in my nineteen years of life. I once again believed in the existence of God. This face was the work of God.

I must have liked the fact that I was examining him carefully because the smile on his face widened. He took a step closer to me and slowly extended his hand.

"I am the Wind." His name, spoken in a confident tone, was repeated several times in my mind.

"Eliz," I said, holding his outstretched hand with a light touch and shaking it. My weak hand disappeared inside his big hand for a few seconds. I felt chills. It wasn't from the wind blowing, it was from the wind touching my skin. We made eye contact for a few seconds. Then our hands slowly parted.

"You can swing here whenever you want, Eliz. There's no one using this swing anymore," he said and his gaze shifted to the old swing. He just watched the swing silently for a few seconds, as if some memories had flooded his mind.

"Thank you, I'll go home now." I smiled. He took his gaze from the swing and directed it back to me. My cheeks became hot with the feeling of embarrassment. I wanted to get rid of this strange moment as soon as possible. When he smiled at me, I turned around and headed towards the garden gate to leave.

"Aren't you going to get your bag?" I closed my eyes when I heard the voice coming from behind me. I couldn't have done such a stupid thing. But I did it, didn't I? I left my backpack on the ground. Chewing my lips, I opened my eyes and turned away in shame. The tall young man came to me with my bag, which he held tightly in his hand. He looked like he was trying hard not to laugh.

"I guess there's nothing important in it. Otherwise, I think you wouldn't forget it so easily..." he said in a mischievous tone. At the same time, he politely handed the bag to me. The sarcastic expression on his face increased my embarrassment even more. But it was obvious from the purity in his eyes that he had no bad intentions. He was just trying to lighten the mood.

"Oh, actually the books inside are worth fortunes..." I muttered, laughing too. My parents spent half their salary on my school books. I quickly took my black bag from his hands.

"Are you in college?" he asked with a curious expression. One of his sparse eyebrows was raised. His eyebrows were a shade darker than his hair, which was beginning to disperse in the wind.

"Yes, I'm a first-year," I replied. I quickly put my bag on my back. Then I looked at him curiously. I was more or less guessing how old he was, but I spoke anyway just to be sure.

"You?" He grimaced in response to the question I asked in a low voice. It's like I asked the wrong thing.

"I am twenty-five years old. I have already finished my education life." I was stunned when he said that. I thought he was in college like me. Maybe he made him look smaller than he was because he didn't grow a beard or mustache.

"You look surprised..." he added in a low voice. I was angry at myself for showing my feelings so much. I have never been someone who manages to keep things secret. Everything I felt and thought was reflected either on my face or in my actions.

"I'll go now." I dismissed him by saying. But I wanted to ask him questions. For example, which department you graduated from, why you are alone in this big house, why you came like that last night...

"It's starting to get dark, do you want me to accompany you home?" The question caused a stir inside me. I didn't care about anyone for a few days. Now I found it strange that someone was so interested.

"I live in that house you see, we are kind of neighbors," I said, pointing to the apartment where I stayed. His gaze went to the apartment I showed him. His brows furrowed as if he remembered something.

"So you were the nosy neighbor from last night..." As soon as he mumbled, a second flood of shame surrounded my whole body. He remembered our look. He remembered our eerie, beautiful, and brief look.

"I wasn't watching, just when you were taken out of the vehicle like that..."

"Does not matter," he said, not allowing me to continue my words. We must have gotten into something he didn't want to talk about. Understanding this, I nodded my head and prepared to leave.

"Good evening, Wind," I said and smiled.

"Good evening, Eliz," he said and did not smile. He just looked into my eyes with his honey-colored eyes. His serious expression wiped the smile off my face. I looked away from him and turned away. I walked towards my apartment with quick steps.

Something told me this wasn't the last time we would meet. I was sure that the strange attraction I felt towards him would grow in the future. Just a few facial expressions, a few glances, and a huge smile were enough reasons to stand next to him. Victor Hugo has a quote that I like very much:

" What a shame for those who love only bodies, shapes, and images! Death will destroy everything. Try loving souls."

I have always been an advocate of this saying. I used to think that people should not be judged by their appearance. But right now, I was confused. It was challenging not to be deceived by this beauty. Every word that fell from his lips caused a small stir inside me.

When I entered the house, a stupid smile appeared on my face. He was the person I talked to the longest in a week. I held the bag on my back from where he touched it and dropped it to the floor. I quickly took off my coat and threw it on my bed. Then I approached the window of my room overlooking his house. I opened the dark tulle curtain and looked. I caught him where I left him, with his head up and looking at my window.

Honey-colored eyes were looking right into my dark blue eyes. I was stunned and frightened. He hadn't forgotten where I looked at him from last night. She greeted him by slowly raising her hand in the air. I stepped back, taking a step away from the window. While my heart was beating like crazy, I couldn't understand whether it was from fear or excitement. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. When I approached the window again to wave at him, he was already gone.

Just like a ghost.

There was one, there was not one.

I had dreams hundreds of times before coming to this city. I would go to the beach every evening, find quiet and calm places for myself to think, go to fun places when necessary, and adapt to the chaos of the city. From the moment I started university, I would make friends, I would not act shy, I would meet the love of my life in one of the corridors of the school... Sounds like a cliché young girl's literature, right? Yes, that's why my dreams have not come true and will not come true. Because I am a person who cannot even fit into the cliché life I dream of.

I had difficult years in my childhood and adolescence. No matter how hard I tried to cover up some events, feelings, and thoughts, I could never fully succeed. The traces of every blow I receive will remain on my character and skin forever. I was one of the biggest responsible for this. I always tried to make people not feel the way I did, I always tried to understand them. But they never tried to understand me. This still did not deter me, so I chose the psychology department. There was still much to learn about humans. Maybe I would understand not only others but also myself.

"Eliz?" I was immediately taken out of my thoughts when I heard my name. When I turned around, I saw a pair of black eyes. This was a tall, dark young man. I spoke, frowning my eyebrows as if asking,

"Do I know?"

"I'm Eren, we're in the same class," he said with a smile. When he did this, a deep dimple appeared on his left cheek. What he said made me feel ashamed. We had been in the same class for a week and I didn't even know he existed. Although I never had the opportunity to examine people, I never liked staring at a stranger's face.

"Oh, sorry. I'm still getting used to it." I said and smiled fakely out of politeness. I never liked forced smiles, but sometimes we had to.

"No problem. We were looking for a solution for exactly this. We are meeting at Karga tomorrow evening to meet and socialize as a class. It is one of the best venues in the city center, we will send the address to the group. You should come." After saying this, he smiled sincerely again. Why was he smiling so much? Why was he so happy? I have always envied optimistic and energetic people. But I also hated them because I couldn't manage to be one of them. A range of mixed emotions...

"I'll try to come," I said in a low voice, while the antisocial part of me screamed never.

"Then see you tomorrow." After saying that, he waved and walked away. I had been at this school for a week and it was the first time someone came and talked to me. I should have been excited to meet and talk to someone new, but I wasn't. Unlike the young man I met last night. His voice echoed in my mind as he said his name; "I am the Wind." A small smile appeared on my face. A movement that I couldn't describe came to life inside me. Just remembering his voice excited me. Something about him attracted me in a way I couldn't describe. Whether you call it chemistry or energy. This feeling was real. I was angry at myself for thinking like that, it seemed irrational. But a person could not hide what he felt because it was irrational. The energy I received from him has been inside me since the second we met.

Maybe I was making it big. I haven't talked to anyone in a long time. Maybe he had a special place for me because I talked to him for the first time. Or his mysterious situation caught my attention, why was he taken off the patient transport vehicle that way that night? What could have happened? I think my curiosity was one of the things that pushed me to think about it.

I shook my head and laughed at my foolishness. I wasted my time on a man who wouldn't even think about me for a second.

I put my hands into my coat pockets to grab my headphones. I didn't listen to music while walking to school in the morning. When I was numb, I generally preferred silence. When I was gripped by an emotion, I would listen like crazy. Music always fueled my feelings. I should have listened right now, I should have done justice to this little excitement that started to surround my body. However, one of my pockets was empty. I didn't have any headphones in my left pocket. I immediately checked the side pocket of my bag and it wasn't there either. The thing I was most afraid of when buying wireless headphones was losing them.

"Perfect..." I reproached, mumbling. God knows where I dropped it. I didn't listen to music in the morning, I didn't even put my hand in my pocket. I thought about the last time I listened to music.

Last night, on the swings...

I definitely must have dropped it there.

This was a reason to see him again.

What was I saying?

I didn't even know who he was yet. The only thing I knew about him was his name. He was a stranger. It wasn't healthy for me to think so much about him. But I couldn't help it. He was doing this to me.

He knew very well how to occupy my mind with his mysterious life and breathtaking appearance.

***

I wonder what it was like to live in such a house.

I looked carefully at the black, two-story house. It was a huge building. I didn't know how many rooms it had, but it was obvious that it was like a palace inside. It was one of the largest houses in the neighborhood. It was both beautiful and scary. If you have a large family, it could be a suitable and useful house. But if you don't have anyone, being alone can drive you crazy. It reminded me of ghost houses in horror movies. If he claimed that spirits were wandering around inside him, I could believe him without objection.

I timidly touched the doorbell and rang it. I waited for a few minutes, there was no sound other than the sound of the swing chain swinging gently with the wind. Unable to resist, I touched the bell once again. I put my cold hands in my pockets and continued to wait. I took a deep breath and took a step back. As I was getting ready to leave, the door opened at great speed. When I saw the honey-colored eyes, my heart beat faster. His wavy, light brown hair was messier than usual. It was as if someone had run their hands through that beautiful hair and messed it up on purpose. When my gaze landed on the white T-shirt he was wearing, I was startled and took a step back. The chest part of the T-shirt was stained red.

"Don't be afraid, just paint," he said softly in response to my reaction. I laughed nervously. While seconds ago I thought the house was full of spirits, suddenly encountering such a sight scared the hell out of me.

"I thought..." I muttered and took a deep breath.

"That I killed someone?" he laughed too. Even the word death looked extremely attractive in his enormous smile.

"You can't blame me for thinking that. Look at you!" I joked. He was truly disorganized. His clothes were covered in one of the darkest shades of red, and his perfect face was covered in the lightest shades of white. He resembled a ghost that had just taken someone's life. But every time he smiled he looked livelier and brighter than anything else.

"It's cold, come inside." He smiled and opened the door a little more so I could get in. I looked into his eyes hesitantly. I've never entered the house of someone I don't know before. My family warned me about this hundreds of times. I knew it wasn't right, it wasn't appropriate, but I couldn't stop myself. Maybe it was the first time I wanted to do something risky and stepped into his house. While the shy, timid girl inside me was screaming that this was so wrong, the brave side of me was saying, "It's just a coffee." Besides, I didn't want to seem like a paranoid person. On the contrary, I wanted to look confident and brave. Considering all the risky choices our peers made, having a cup of coffee at a house right next to my house seemed pretty harmless.

When I walked in, the smell of paint began to fill my nose. He must have been doing this for several hours. It took a long time for the smell of paint to surround this huge house. When I entered the door, a huge hall welcomed me. There was an American kitchen on the left side of the living room, and stairs going up and down on the right side. The sofas in the living room were covered with white covers and were closed for use. The house looked as scary from the outside as it did from the inside.

"I know how scary the house looks, I'm sorry." When he said, I shook my head and answered him,

"It's okay, you just came home anyway..."

"Do you drink coffee?" he asked as he walked towards the kitchen. I followed him behind his quick steps. When we entered the kitchen, the voice in my mind was warning me.

Don't do that.

A voice inside me was saying don't do it.

He said remember what happened the last time you were intimate with someone.

"I came here to find something I lost," I said, stopping suddenly. The wind slowly turned towards me without touching the coffee machine it was reaching for. His movements had slowed down. He suddenly became thoughtful.

"I know," he said calmly. I raised my eyebrows in surprise. Had he already found my headphones?

He reached into the pocket of his black jeans and pulled out something white. My headphones looked so small in his big hands. I took a deep breath with a smile and approached him to take my headphones. He took a step back, leaned on the counter behind him, and raised his hand, moving the headset away from me. My eyebrows furrowed in surprise, I wasn't expecting such a move. I was stunned, but I didn't retreat. I moved a little closer and didn't stop until our breaths collided. In response to this move, he slowly put the headset in his hand to his ear, staring at my dark blue eyes with his honey-colored eyes.

"Come on, play your favorite song that you listen to every day. If I like it, I'll give you your headphones back." His words falling from his full lips brought that familiar stirring in my heart back to life. I could have screamed and left the house. But I didn't do that. At this very moment, I had silenced my paranoid side and awakened my sarcastic side. Without protesting, I took the other headset from my pocket and placed it in my ear. I took my phone from the back pocket of my trousers and connected it to the headphones. I clicked on a song I listened to almost every day and let it tickle my ears.

SYML - Where's My Love

As the song started playing, Rüzgar's eyes closed. I was just realizing the beauty of her long and curled eyelashes. As the melody of the song deepened, a faint smile spread across his face.

"I love this song," he muttered, his eyes still closed. The breath of his words hit my face. I was examining her perfect face. I said I don't like staring at people. I think he was the first person I ever ignored this from.

I looked at the darkness under his eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. I lifted my hand and moved it to the dark circle under my eye. I wanted to touch you for no reason. I felt like I would disappear if I touched it. If I touched him, it was as if I could erase all his tiredness. When I was inches away from touching it, I gave up, curled my fingers, and closed my hand. He must have felt this because he slowly opened his eyes and looked at me. I lowered my hand and pulled it towards me, and I was relieved that he didn't see this move.

"You look tired," I said. The song was about to end. Maybe it was the first time that the ending of a song bothered me so much.

"I haven't been able to sleep properly for a few days." When he said that, I looked at him with curiosity. What caused him to lose so much sleep? Why would a person torture himself like this?

"From where?" I asked, raising one of my eyebrows. I couldn't believe I asked this myself. My curiosity was overcoming my shyness. Because I doubted I would ever meet a man as mysterious as him again. As a psychology student, the thing I enjoyed most was solving mysterious souls. That was the job of psychology, first, it solved the souls and then it healed them. Just as you cannot heal a wound whose location you do not know, you cannot heal a soul you cannot resolve.

"I don't know. I think I think too much at night," he explained, his lips moving very harmoniously as he spoke.

"I was wondering what the thought was that got you into this situation," I said, continuing to look at him carefully. His gaze was wandering recklessly over every part of my face.

"I'm sorry, but the doors of my mind are strong." He refused to say. I gave him a sarcastic smile.

"As long as it's not locked, it's fine," I replied. We had a metaphorical dialogue between us, and I liked it for no reason.

"As long as you find the key, it's okay." He raised one of his eyebrows defiantly. I looked at him impressed. While his word games should have annoyed me, they had the opposite effect on me. This situation increased my desire to solve it.

It looked like a complicated knot.

It's the type of knot I would most like to untie.

Did he want to be dissolved?

I remember the last time I fell in love. It was a hopeless love, impossible to happen.

I was a fifteen-year-old boy then. I was going through one of the worst periods of my life. My mother and father were about to break up. The fights at home were constant. The shouting had increased so much that neighbors were coming to the door almost every evening. Their warnings were in vain, they would never stop shouting. They would never stop hurting each other.

"Are you ok?" The howling sound of the wind pulled me out of my thoughts. His last words reminded me of the times I was in love. From where? Why was I thinking about this now? Did I feel like I was going to fall in love? No never. I would never make that mistake again.

"If you like the song, can I have my headphones now?" I asked and then swallowed hard. I aimed to cool the atmosphere and break the warmth that was slowly starting to intensify between us. I couldn't let it get into my mind, and seep under my skin so easily. If he did this, I knew there was no turning back.

Without answering, he took the headphones out of his ear and gently handed them to me. I blinked my eyes a few times and moved my hand towards his hand. While taking the headset, our fingers touched each other with a light touch. This touch was enough to give me goosebumps. It was like something stirred inside me. His fingertips began to move over my hand. His white skin slid over my white skin with very slow movements.

I should have pulled my hand towards myself and ended this. We had to stop contact or I would regret it. My eyes went to the honey-colored eyes in front of me. She was looking at me carefully from behind her curled eyelashes. My gaze fell on her smooth lips. Her full, red lips were parted. As if he were about to say something, he wet his words so that they would flow more easily from his lips.

"Your skin is so soft..." he spoke in a very low voice. So was his skin. I wanted to tell him this but I couldn't. I quickly took my hand away from him and put my hand into my coat pocket along with my headphones. The wind was startled by my sudden movement and retreated.

"Am I being too blunt?" he asked with a smile. This was the smile that blew my mind when I first saw it. His smile scares me but makes me want him...

"It's okay, I just don't feel very well," I said, speaking quickly. It may have sounded like a passing sentence, but it was real. I wasn't well.

My answer made his smile fade. It was suddenly erased as if it never existed. He crossed his arms and leaned against the counter behind him. He thought for a few seconds, lowering his gaze to the ground. Her light brown hair was becoming more messy with every move she made.

"You are a young person who has just started university. I see your peers swimming in excitement. They do not look like you, it is as if you are experiencing different emotions. You are acting like a side character in your own story." He turned his gaze to me again. What he said brought a bittersweet smile to my face. It was strange how a few words spoken by a stranger could describe me like that. I never thought I was such an easy person to understand. On the contrary, every doctor and psychologist I went to told me that I looked like a knot that was difficult to untie. The only way to untie me was to cut me off.

"I don't want to sound like a whiny child, but nothing goes the way I imagined. Imagine how hard it is for someone who loves getting lost in daydreams." I said and continued smiling. Dreams were often there to escape reality, not to come true. It's like that's what makes them so valuable. Dreams no longer have any magic as soon as they come true. They were valuable while being unattainable. This was a thought worthy of ungrateful human beings.

"Ah, dreams... When you dream them enough, they add color to your life, but when you overdo it, they prevent you from living the truth," he said with a confident expression and left the counter he was leaning on. He immediately turned to the small coffee machine.

"Do you dream often too?" I asked in a lively voice. I felt like we found something in common.

"I'm trying not to do that. It's a more dangerous job than you think," he said his voice getting lower and lower. I didn't quite understand what he meant.

What could be dangerous about dreaming?

"Which department are you studying in?" he asked, changing the subject. The way he changed the subject so quickly made me frown, but it didn't bother me. I shook myself and came to my senses.

"Psychology," I said in a strong voice. I was proud of my department. Spiritual science was perhaps the most vast and deepest of sciences.

Wind nodded his head up and down in response to my answer. It seemed like he was pleased that I gave the name of this section. He took out two mugs from the kitchen cabinet. One is black, one is white.

"What did you read?" I asked and let him prepare the coffee. I didn't come here to sit and chat for a long time, I just came to find my headphones and see him a little more. As always, things weren't going as I planned.

"Literature," he said as he pressed the button on the coffee machine. The machine started to work with a small noise.

"I thought you were studying art when I saw the paint smeared on you," I said curiously. My desire to talk was slowly increasing. Maybe being open to meeting people wasn't such a bad idea after all. I carefully sat down on one of the tall chairs around the small island in the middle of the kitchen and set my backpack down. After quickly taking off my coat, I hung it on the back of the chair.

The sentence I made made him look at his shirt for a few seconds. His lips parted as a slight smile appeared on his face,

"I was painting the walls of my room."

"Red... A different choice." I laughed too. I've never met anyone who deliberately painted their room red before. His honey-colored eyes found me. Even though I didn't know him yet, it was obvious that he was a different person.

He handed me the white mug filled with coffee. I carefully took the cup from his hand and placed it in front of me. I tried to warm my fingers by wrapping my hands around the porcelain.

"Colors have meanings and triggers, you know?" he asked in a soft voice. He took his black mug and sat on the chair opposite me.