You Live In My Memories

Rucker's POV

It was the night of my twentieth birthday when I first laid eyes on her. A spark. That's what it was, and it claimed me for her. The feelings were unimaginable. Never have I ever once remotely felt my body and soul light up. How do I explain what I felt when even I couldn't comprehend the magic that ran through me when I first saw her.

People think I'm a very social person, and that I like to put myself out there in a crowd with my friends. No matter the number of acquaintances I have or those that wanted to be called my friends, there would only ever be two best friends. I smile at that thought.

I had a girl since I was a junior in high school and I thought she was the one. I felt that what I had for her was love, who knows? But there was a time she was included with everything we did together ow she's just a memory, one that I prefer to forget.

Gage Monroe and Everett Trenton, we three came into one another's lives at age eleven. We bonded and became cemented with each passing year.

We complemented each other and gor

along better than brothers usually do,

well in my case a lot better.

Gage is humorous. The happy go lucky kid with wavy blonde hair whose father transferred him to my school during the summer before the sixth grade.

His dad owns a mobile welding company, and since most of his jobs come out of Seattle, he packed them up and moved near me

His mom ran off with some man ten years her junior after. Fourteen years of marriage to his dad. Gage plays it off like he doesn't care, but I once saw him cry when he looked at a picture of his mom. He didn't know I was about to enter his room. I stepped back away from his door and slid to the floor against the wall listening to him cry. I never told him what I heard, and it would remain my secret. Right then and there, I promised to do everything I could to make sure he never cried again.

If you ever need to know anything about laptops, hard drives and phones, well you got the gist, hit up Everett, he's your man. The techie. He's a chick magnet with his rugged features, charcoal black hair and chameleon green eyes that shift to different shades of green depending on how he's feeling. You would never believe the things he could do with his skill that he learned from his parents. His parents work from home as freelancers building and maintaining online websites.

Gage and Everett, I would do anything for them. Anything

If Gage and Everett are everything that a best friend should be, then Dario is the bane of my existence. I despise him. But it wasn't always like that.

Innocence still flourishes among most at eight. The first note passed to the both of us in class from Layla, the cute girl with curly blonde hair the color of Miss Sherman's purse. "Do you like me? Circle yes or no. I like you and Dario. Passing the note to Dario, he read it and looked at me. I watched as he traced the hearts with his index finger. There was a connection between the two of us. We both knew we liked her, so he circled yes, and sent the note back to her. Little did I know, this would be the first of many girls.

At age eleven we entered middle school as sixth graders. Three different elementary schools combine their students and merge into one huge middle school. That's the first time Karlee Wilson, an eighth grade cheerleader, followed me to the outside of the boy's restroom during class time and asked, "Do you think I'm pretty? I couldn't speak. I think I must've been red in the face. She giggled and walked away, I kept my distance from her for the rest of the year. But, she didn't.

I started the onset of puberty earlier than my classmates. My growth spurt. I was now standing taller, facial softness now beginning to disappear as my voice began to take on a huskiness. I guess girls would notice something like that quickly. As I matured, the girls got more daring.

Turning fourteen was a tripping year for me. Everything about me developed, and I was filling out in more places than one.

My vocal tone lowered quite noticeably, and I was getting hard-ones with girls flaunting their cleavages in my face.

A senior girl propositioned me for the first time that year.

I always got more attention than any person should have. The adorations, the praises, the calls, the girls. Shit, they threw themselves at me. I was in demand.

Fifteen couldn't come soon enough. My features are getting sharp. I noticed that instead of looking at my eyes, 1 find the eyes of girls glancing down at that part of my anatomy that stuck out the most.

Girls were hinting and prodded me with all their flirting, but I wasn't buying into any of that, for now.

Sixteen was my coming of age, junior year. The girls swarmed my friends and me. The summer before school started I joined a gym specializing in MMA. My body transformed itself. I became more lean and muscular. My shoulders broadened, and my now defined ab muscles pulled my torso in tight which had the female population fixated on me. Gage said my walk changed. I exuded swagger without even knowing it. I'm now over six feet, a bit shy of my papa's regal six foot, tall.

Drake, my younger brother by two years, entered high school that year as a Freshman. The Laclan brothers, the most talked about people in school. The hierarchy. When we walked the halls or entered the cafeteria together, it was almost comical. People would stop talking and move on the side to watch us walk the line. The thing is, we never asked for any of this. They decided to put all of us on a pedestal and keep us there.

Me, Gage, Everett and Darie also lest our virginity that year. She was a senior, and she did the four of us at her house in the hot tub while her parents were at work.

Sex fuking rocks, but I learned from this experience that it's better if you're in love because I felt empty doing that shit with her.

Handjobs and blowjobs were almost an everyday thing for us now.

The same girls offered and we accepted.

Why would we turn them down? They knew beforehand we didn't return favors. They may have thought they were the privileged girls that could touch our package, and maybe get us to sex them, but that wasn't the deal. You want, you blow me, and you leave. No lingering, no talking.

Then I met Calista when her father moved with her from Nevada. Her parents divorced when she was five, and they decided it was in Calistarn best interest to live with her father in Nevada with his parents there to help take care of her.

Her mother is Principal McNamara of Seattle Lutheran Private High School, where we all attended. She's this gorgeous girl stepping out of her mother's car for her first day of school here. Her lustrous auburn hair with strands of dark mahogany reminded me of a deep red sunset. She would be my first girlfriend, and I fell in love with her. We did everything together, Sex with Calista was fucking unbelievable.

That same year my parents celebrated their twenty-first wedding anniversary. My papa worked hard as an electrician, and my mama stayed home and cared for the family. We celebrated at the Space Needle. My friends were Invited. I brought Calista with me, and Dario brought a date that I can't even remember. Gage and Everett tagged a couple of girls, and Drake asked his girl, Michelle.

Drake and his girl Michelle seemed to get along well until one day they decided to end their relationship. Their break-up core Drake apart.

That night was the first time I saw Calista's eyes roaming a male other than myself. She followed Dario's every move when she thought no one was watching her. I later found out that I was the reason for Drake and Michelle's break up.

As summer approached, I stepped up my training before entering my senior year.

Gage and I started working for his dad as apprentices over the summer, and I found that I had a knack for welding. I had a thing for rigging and welding together parts for a car. I loved the body shop side of soldering. And that became my goal to own a body shop.

The day of my seventeenth birthday came and went a couple of weeks before the new school year began.

To afford my body shop, I needed money. I trained hard to prove that I should be given a chance for a first fight, I had to wait until I was eighteen. 1 got knocked around and kicked hard, but I persevered and won my first ever MMA fight.

What little money I made from side-bets were thrown in my bank.

The training I did then can't be compared now. Calista and I were doing better than ever. I never saw her longing for Dario again. She didn't talk to him more than usual.

My training was kicking into gear. We all went to dances and did the prom things. When we graduated high school Everett and Gage were already eighteen. Dario and I would need to wait until the end of summer as usual.

My girl and I went on weekend getaways every other month. I took on extra hours of overtime work bopping in to save as much money as possible. Calista started college during the winter quarter: she had no clue what she wanted to major in. She didn't rush and declare a major. She did things at her pace. At nineteen Calista and I were together for over two and one-half years. I thought that Calista would be it for me. She only grew more beautiful over the years.

That Christmas Eve after over three years together. I heard her in bed with Gage and I had to go out on this last minute welding call. We didn't mind. The overtime along with holiday pay had me roaring to work that eve. It was supposed to be an overnight job, but when we evaluated the site it wasn't as intensive as initially thought, and we finished the work in under three hours.

So, ah yeah, we got back sooner than expected.

Dario had plans with a girl for the night.

My girl.

When we reached back home on Christmas eve, Calista's car was in my driveway. I pounded my steering wheel. Right then I knew what was going down.

We entered the door, the lights were low as Gage, and I walked through the front. We heard them together in Dario's room with music, loud moans and giggling coming through his walls. I didn't bother letting them know I came home. We went outside under the pergola, turned on the heater lamp and drank our beer in the dark.

They didn't see us out there sitting when they went to the kitchen to get something to eat. Her hair was in disarray, and she looked thoroughly fucked, with only his shirt on her and him in boxers. We watched as they kissed each other. He lifted her on the counter, laid her back and went down on her with her legs up in the air, spread wide.

Plans for my future squandering before my eyes. My mind flashes to the engagement ring that laid at the back of my drawer waiting for tomorrow, wanting to make Calista my wife. I planned to propose to her tomorrow on Christmas day.

Life was shifting in and out of the gray very fast for me.

When Calista was on the verge of an orgasm, I slammed the slider open, and we walked in. I didn't want to hear their excuses. We watched as they fumbled trying to straighten up.

"Calista," disgust evident on my face. "Grab all your shit and leave. You're NOT welcomed back here again!" I pounded the counter.

Then I eyed Dario. My face full of hatred, as I stared that fucker down. Making him shift eye contact away from me. "When. Did. You. Start. Fucking. Her?!" I yelled with venom dripping from my voice.

"We've been fucking for two years now." He shrugged like he didn't find anything wrong with what he did.

"The fuck!" I shouted out. Feeling the muscles in my body bristle, twisting and clenching. My hands fisted. I blew out a harsh breath that I was holding.

"She came onto me. What was I supposed to do when she slipped her hand into my pants, bro?! My dick did the talking. I'm sorry, okay? It meant nothing; she was just a constant fuck in my life, that's all bro. I swear."

Two wasted years. No fvcking clue. It felt like I was drowning, going down the black hole.

"I would've never thought that you, of all people, would betray me in the worst possible way!" My voice was sounding unfamiliar, strangled, even gritty. "I want you out of this house!" I demanded, yelling at the top of my lungs as I swiftly hopped over the island counter and shoved Dario against the wall jamming my elbow into his neck. I twisted his arm behind him and dragged him to the slider shoving him onto the frozen ground outside."Get your shit out of here before anyone comes home!" I shouted full of rage, my hands wanting to strangle, to pound my fist through his face.

Screaming my anger, and betrayal into the thick freezing night air. My heart was pumping the rush of adrenaline through my veins, making me breathe out in heavy breaths. Falling to my knees, as white and black morphed into blurred lines of gray.

I would never forgive Dario. And Calista would forever remain my past.

Gage flew us to Mexico late Christmas morning. Everett came down the day after. One week of fun in the sun. Clubbing, drinking, and girls. Who the fuck was I kidding? I was dead on the inside, only existing on the outside.

I walked away that night on Christmas Eve, and I didn't see Calista again for almost eight months. Until she showed up unexpectedly and uninvited at my party.

The night Summer walked into my life.

It was one of those days that you kind of lay around, and think of what you want at this time in your life? For me: I want to fall in love. I want to experience what I read about in all my books when boy meets girl stories, and I want to know how it feels to be loved by the boy that you love.

Would I be hit with all the tingles, the excitement, and a racing heart? What kind of a guy would he be? How will he look? Blonde, red or dark hair, likes and dislikes, would he find me attractive, would he know it was me as soon as he saw me? And a final thought, would he already have a girlfriend?

What I do believe, is that someone somewhere out there, is made for me and he's thinking of me too.

I just want to find the right guy that the universe made especially for me.

That's what I'm thinking of, as I'm standing in a coffee shop at ten in the morning, on the weekend waiting to order a five dollar cup of something overly sweet.

"What can I get you?" Breaks me out of my reverie as I look across the counter at the beautiful young girl with her dark hair pushed back in to a ponytail. She's smiling, but it's not quite reaching her eyes, and I can understand why. She's someone I know from high school. I mean I would not be too happy myself if I needed to work on a Saturday morning during the summer when you could be out with friends or just kicking back like I am.

"A sixteen-ounce caramel frappe, please." I smile back at her as I slide six dollars to her. "Keep the change."

"Thanks," she said, scooting over to the cold bar to make my syrupy sweet concoction.

"Got any fun plans today?" she asked as I watch her pump caramel syrup into the blender.

"Me? No." I shrug and chuckle because I don't have any friends... just acquaintances. "I just never clicked with anyone to be close friends with," I honestly replied keeping my head up.

"Nothing on a Saturday? If I didn't need to work, I'd be bumming around getting a drink like you are and checking out the scenes at Alki beach. if you know what I mean?" Wiggling her eyebrows as she finishes my drink with whip cream and drizzle before she places a dome lid over the top.

"That sounds fun if I had someone to do things like that with, I'll sit here and check out my phone while I work on this great drink you made. Thanks!" I lift the drink ready to find a booth near a window so I can people watch at the same time.

"Summer, I'm Camilla, Cami for short." She extends her hand, looking at me expectantly. We shake hands, and I notice that her smile is now reaching her eyes.

"Yes, I see you around school most days, when schools in session. We never really talked in school, but I think I know everyone's name that I grew up with over the years."

"True. We've only grown up with over half the students in our school. Lucky for you that you don't have to work on this warm, beautiful day."

I cleared my throat, and nodded in agreement. All around this coffee shop I could hear chattering and the occasional squealing like someone just got the best news of their life.

"Lucky huh? I guess that's me. At least I have my phone to keep me company," giving my phone a small shake. "Maybe I'll see you at school when the year starts in another week?"

"Okay girl," she said as a customer entered the shop,"I'll talk to you later if I'm not busy and you're still here."

I found a perfect seat by the window facing the busy street. I could hear Cami talking with the customer as I checked out my social content and watched a funny youtube video.

Fucked my head up when the door opened, the same time the bell chimed, and a trail of older teens, maybe college kids burst in laughing and looking like they owned the day.

"Hi guys, what can I get started for you?" Cami asks while looking up into the eyes of the tanned, good-looking young man across from her. She does something that some females tend to do when they find a male they are talking to attractive. She tilts her head and looks up from under her lashes at him. A flirty smile draws him in to her trap

He places his hands on the counter and leans forward with a pretty hot smirk as he decides what he wants. Now she's drawn more so to his trap. My inner self loving their interactions.

"Hurry the hell up lover-boy," his friend teasingly says as he steps up to the counter. "While my buddie here decides what he wants, could you please make me the biggest cup of iced mocha?"

Cami nods, "Of course." Her attention streams back to Mr tall, blonde, and hot.

"Thanks, pretty lady," he says, as he hangs his arm on his friend's shoulder that still hasn't ordered. "Well, make a move on it bro, do you think she has all day to wait for your order?"

"Damnit Everett, you're knocking me down a notch in front of this gorgeous young lady. Maybe I'm checking her out?

His friend slaps the back of his head, grins and turns to talk to the other guys with them. I keep my gaze on this group of friends.

I envy seeing how they all fall into a chill friendship, bantering back and forth, and are having a good time with each other.

Friends, that's what I lack in my life.

Friends, that's what I lack in my life. It's not by choice that I don't have friends because I would love to have even one close friend. It's that no one wants to be my friend, I guess. But acquaintances...those I got.

"Okay, I'm ready to give you my order." He leans in closer to Cami and tells her his order eye to eye. She smiles and starts with their orders.

"Gotcha!" Someone yells next to me.

I jumped almost falling out of my seat and spilling my drink all over the table. Watching as the gooey drink dripped down the side of the table landing in my bag that I had on the floor. I don't care what anyone says, but I swear I could've had a heart attack. Who the hell does that anyway?

Everyone stared. I grabbed my bag and marched straight to the restroom.

"Knock-knock," the voice on the other side of the door said quietly, "Summer are you alright? When you come back out, I'll make you another drink, okay?" I now recognized it was Cami.

"I'm just trying to clean the mess in my bag. I'm sorry for the confusion out there Cami; I'll clean it up when I'm done here." I said as I stared at my reflection in the mirror above the restroom sink.

"Not your fault, plus it's all cleaned already. Everett them, the guys that ordered earlier, they got everything covered, Summer. And he also wanted to apologize to you. Listen I need to go back up front, I'll see you soon."

"Thanks, Cami,"

"Not a problem. I'll be waiting for you."

After a few minutes of taking everything out of my bag and wiping things down, I opened the restroom door, and one of the guys I'm assuming he was Everett, the guy that scared me, was leaning against the wall.

"Hi, it's Summer, right?" "Yes," I said "Like the season, like the breeze" I crossed my arms under my chest.

He thought for a second, a brow lifted and he smiled. "I hear ya," he nodded slowly."I wanted to apologize to you for scaring you earlier. It's just that I happened to see you so engrossed in your thoughts, and looking starry-eyed towards my friends that I couldn't help myself but sneak up on you."

"Starry-eyed? Um, no. You must've got the wrong impression.

"Everett." He tapped his chest. "That's my name. The way 1 saw it," he continued, "you were in a daze staring at us standing around the counter. And by the way, it's nice to meet you Summer even though I scared you and caused a major shitstorm to your bag. He shumed his feet where he was standing. "I'll get you a new one. Where did you get it from?" He pointed to my bag.

"It's not a problem, and I don't need a new bag. Thanks though, but I want to get back to that, starry-eyed conclusion.

"Oh, okay... well, I told you why I came to that conclusion, so how about you tell me why I'm wrong?" I stood there. looking at him: the almost pitch black hair that framed his face, the KISS tank top that showed wear and tear and his height. They were all tall. What are they being fed nowadays? I pursed my lips looking towards the seating area.

"Summer... there you are!" Cami called from around the hallway. "What are you doing there? Come out here you

"Be right there," I replied, keeping my eyes on Everett. So super fast, let me explain. I was day-dreaming, and looking towards the bar before you guys even came into the shop. So there. now you know." I stated as I started walking away. He didn't need to know that he was so spot on.

He started chuckling, but I heard him say, "good cover-up, Summer, like the season."

I met Cami up front by the counter as she handed my drink over to me. "Are you better?" she asked with concern laced in her voice. She came around the coffee bar and walked me to the table where all five boys were seated and talking.

"Better now. Thanks." I told her. Remembering how embarrassed I was as everyone stared at the drink calamity that happened just a few minutes ago. "Why are we heading to their table?" I said slowly.

"I just met all of them, and they wanted to meet you too." She smiled. "Plus, they're really a cool bunch of guys, and who knows?" She shrugged. "Maybe one of us will get lucky." She finished just as we reached their table.

Everett spoke up when we arrived. "Everyone this is Summer," he announced just as the door opened and in walked a beautiful girl. Wearing her shoulder-length purple hair in dreads. she went straight into the arms of Everett. They hugged before he let her go, and introduced his girl, Maize, to us.

They were two total opposites. Their height difference was right in your face kind of a thing.

Being that I'm five, five and she's more than a couple inches shorter than me. I can safely assume she's probably five one and it plainly shows, even with her in four-inch platform shoes.

Plus, her face was free from any type of make-up. She had smooth ivory color skin, and green like a blade of grass on a bright day, color eyes.

What was glaringly different was that she was dressed to the nines: expensively dressed, overly dressed for this coffee shop at this time of day. whereas Everett had on that overused KISS tank top and swim trunks. But they had chemistry, and they looked great together.

"Hi girls," she said with a friendly smile as she disentangled herself from Everett "Nice to meet you. Maize," I said, shaking her hand.

"You know Maize, your boyfriend here. made Summer jump in her seat, and spill her drink all over the inside of her bag. Lucky her friend Cami was kind enough to make her another drink, but we made sure that Everett cleaned up the mess, didn't we Cami? Gage teasingly said while he openly checked out Cami. She didn't notice what he was doing. She was busy agreeing with Gage while looking at Maize.

"True true. We had to supervise Everett, and made sure the job was done right." Cami replied as she walked back to the coffee bar when a customer came in to order a drink.

I thought how cute Maize and Everett are together when she nudged him and flirtatiously told him to be a good boy to her new friends or else he wasn't getting any soon. She winked at me and giggled. I smiled back at her and wished that I could have a relationship like that, one day.

"As Cami walked away Gage kept his eyes on her, apparently enjoying the view.

I turned back facing everyone. Gage pulled up a chair for me to sit on, and it felt nice to be included in a group of friends, finally.

"Hey, you know what? If you don't have plans for tonight, you and Cami should come to a party. It's for a friend. His twentieth birthday. You don't need to bring anything except yourselves. They'll be great food and drinks. Whad'ya think, sound good?" Gage asked. His face was bright and engaging.

I didn't have any plans at all, but to watch something on Netflix. That's not exactly a plan: it's just something to past the time with when you don't have anything else to do. "Your number?" He prodded, waiting for my reply.

After giving him my number, he then sent me a text. It read:

Party tonight for Rucker at his place. 2279 W 57th St Seattle directly across fralki beach.

Bring your bikinis just in case.

Expect to see you and Cami there.

I was floored. My first invite and to a party!

"I'll talk to Cami, but I'm sure we'll be there. Thanks!" I told him, my voice full of excitement. To think, a party!

Cami was totally stoked that Gage invited us to a party for their friend Rucker. After I told her where I lived, she agreed to get me at six thirty.

I was getting dressed hoping to make an impression with my new friends. I know we were asked to bring our bikinis in case swimming was involved, so I threw on my bikini before stepping into some cut-out faded jean shorts and an ivory halter.

Cami arrived, and after I introduced her to my parents, we were on our way. We hopped into her red Jeep, and she pulled into traffic. We decided to head to the mall and pick up something for the birthday boy.

"Do you have anything in mind that we could get him?" Cami asked as she pushed the door open to enter the mall. There were people all around walking from store to store, some at the nearby food court getting something to eat.

"Let's check out QuickSilver since birthday boy lives across from the beach. We can look for something there he'd probably like.

We headed to the shirt racks, and I spot a black shirt with a cool surfing design, and a duplicate shirt in white. I pulled both out. "Look aren't these cool, Cami?"

She looked at the shirts with their swirling wave designs-then at me. "I don't know," she said. "Maybe something other than a shirt?"

I glanced at the shirts and hung them back on the rack. I made my way to their display case and found the perfect gift for a guy we both never met.

Laying nestled among different designs were sharks tooth carved out of Koa hardwood. The wood was polished, and it gleaned from the overhead lights that shone above the glass case. Different sizes were laid out, and the longer I studied the carving, the more I knew that this would be the right gift for a male I hadn't met, as of yet.

"Hi, there. Can I bring something out for you to take a look at today?"

"Sure." I said, without glancing up at the male in front of me. "Could I please see the two biggest sharks tooth pendants you have?" I kept my eyes on the pendants as he brought the pieces out and held them up at eye level. There I stood, staring into his eyes. I could see my startled reflection on his eyes; they were a lighter shade of hazel-green with a light brown ring. I tried to focus on only looking at the intricate design, in front of me, but I could still see that he was watching me with those super intense eyes.

"Cami," I called out. "Come on over and check out what I found.

She scurried on over. Thank God she came over by me in no time.

"Oh, a sharks tooth. That's cool. "Hey. do you guys have the black rope cord to put through the opening so this can be used as a choker?" Cami asked the salesperson. "Here let me see them." She stuck her hands out, and he laid the pendants in her hands."

"Yeah, we got the cord they come with any pendant purchase," he said, as he opened a drawer and brought up a spool of black cord.

"Very cool, Cami replied, "Well, which one girl, she said, holding the two carvings up for me to inspect.

I thought that a female would probably get a smaller one for herself and a guy would look good with the big one as a choker style.

"I think I prefer to get the bigger one,"I finally said as I made up my mind. While the guy behind the counter cut some cord for us and rang us up, I curiously looked him over. He looked to be about our age. His dark hair was longer all around, just like a surfer dude with a tan to match. He sure wasn't lacking in the looks department, I thought. Drake was on his name tag and he looked lean and tall. I watched as he threaded the cord through the pendant eye and placed it in a white gift box. I slid my card to him before Cami could say anything.

"Girl, let me at least pay for half of it. okay?" She looked at me with pleading eyes.

"You can pay me back every time I get a drink from you until half is paid back." I smiled at her before glancing at Drake. "Come on let's split. I want to leave already and check out this party." I reached out for the gift on the counter and tucked it in my handbag. "Thanks," I said to Drake as Cami waved to him.

"Have fun at the party, girls." He called out.

I glanced back at him over my shoulder before we left the store.