You Belong To Me

"No Benny, you lost that right!"I heard my mother backed at the person on the other side of the line and I knew it had started again, a conversation that always repeats itself.

"You can't deny me from seeing my son!"A cold voice came from the other side of the line, agitated and dry.

I stopped behind the pillar in the living room, eavesdropping on their conversation, the call was on speaker and I could hear the words that came from the other side of the line. It was wrong to eavesdrop, but what else could I do when the conversation was about me.

"If you want to see him then come over."My mother said softly and I knew that what had ruined her was the love she had for that man, this wasn't something a kid of seven years should know but this was something I figured out.

Love makes people weak, it made my mother weak and destroyed her, this was the reason I made up my mind never to fall in love or love someone dearly.

"We have discussed this in court, Jane, so I am going to tell him."He said coldly and his voice held no emotions for this lady, it only felt void and cold, a man my mother has loved and only kept in her heart.

It was amusing to watch when it should be annoying. I looked at my mother who leaned close to the window with her hands on her forehead and tears filled her eyes.

"Aren't you happy with your new wife and kids over there?"She asked as tears rolled down her cheeks. "How would you want to take away the only joy I have left?"

I scoffed at where I stood and clenched my fist. If she loved me she should have listened to me, then there would have been no court hearing and no separation, but she had made love to destroy her this way.

I look at my mother who was a pretty lady, but ever since my father left her she had turned into something else, someone I can barely recognise.

"Robin deserves better."The man said indifferently and I watched my mother's pupils enlarge and I wasn't expecting to see her this shock since this should be a familiar term she had heard always.

"I can not let you take him!"She barked again in anger and tears filled her eyes. This was the only way she could let out her anger, she always ends up crying when she is angry and to me, it makes her weak.

"Do you want another court hearing?"He asked her. "This time you won't see him ever again!"He said coldly and those words seemed to make the air in the room cold and I looked at my mother who has the same fear in her eyes like mine.

Deep inside of me, I hoped she would just accept his terms and let me go with him. I hope she wouldn't let this escalate since she was too weak to face the aftermath.

"I won't let you do that, can't let you!"She shouted and spaced around the room and I could see her hands tremble and her eyes flutter and her lips quiver and her eyes fixed on my picture that hung on the wall.

She looks so pitiful. If only she had loved someone better, she wouldn't be in a situation like this. I leaned back to the pillar and closed my eyes.

"If you want to see Robin again then send him to me, he would further his education here in the states and be a responsible person."The man said icily and by the sound of his voice, I could already tell that he felt victorious.

My mother leaned on the wall and crumbled down as hot tears flowed down her cheek and she clenched the hem of her dress and I could see how hurt she felt as she opened her lips to speak.

"He can do it here."Her voice came out hoarse and she broke down in a sob.

"I am done speaking with you Jane, make your decision and make it wisely."With that, he disconnected the call and I peek out of the pillar just in time to see my mother throw down her phone and it shattered.

"I won't let you take him, never!"She reached her hand to the table and picked up the bottle of Whiskey and she took a gulp of it, drowning down the whole content one after the other like an addict.

I closed my eyes, if only she could stop this habit, if she hadn't lived this way then I would still be with her and there would have never been any court hearing at first. Her love for my father was her poison, it was draining her and it could also drain me.

"I think I am just a game they both use for fun."I mattered to myself and walked back to my room, shutting the door behind me.

This was it, this was all I have always witnessed, this was the only thing I heard my parents talk about, always about me, always making fights that make one disconnect and the other one cry.

I looked out of my window, even as a kid, I have to leave this way, watch my mother cry and hate my father for divorcing her and making her cry this way and now he has to take me away from her.

I hit the window with my fist and my cheek feel hot with anger. I have to choose wisely for my mother.

I came out of my room and found the room messy, it was dark and it felt suffocating in the living room, empty bottles of drinks lay on the floor and my mother sat down on the sofa with a picture album and tears in her eyes as she clipped through it.

I exhaled softly and walked over to the window and pulled the window open to let in the cold air. It was daylight but since the curtains and windows were closed it felt like it was late at night here.

"Robin."I heard my mother's soft voice and turned around to look at her. "Come over here."She taps the chair next to her, she looks so pale and I was not sure if she had any sleep last night since there were dark circles under her eyes.

I walked over to her and sat next to her like an obedient child, my mother had lost a lot of weight and it makes my heart bleed to see her this way, like someone who had lost her reason to live.

"Look at this,"she pointed at a picture and I looked down at it. "Isn't this so lovely, aren't we both happy together, just you and me?"She looked at my face and I could still remember the time we took this picture. It was my four years birthday and the last time I saw my mother smile broadly.

"Mom..."I looked at her eyes and her eyes were suddenly covered with fear.

"I can not let you go, Robin,"she said without hesitation like she already knew what my words would be. "I know he is your father, but I just can't."She shook her head and pulled me in for a tight hug.

"He is trying to take you away from me too,"I pressed my lips together as I could feel my mother's heartbeat fast and her body trembled. "Your dad wants to go to the state with him, but if you tell him you won't go he will not take you..."

"I will go, mom."My words seem to make her still and she pulls me to an arm's length and looks at my face with a troubled expression.

"You would?"Her voice quiver and the look on her face was as if I had also betrayed her by saying that and tears filled her eyes. "Robin I would be so lonely, I would be lonely."

"Mom..."

"He is taking you away for a long time, don't you even think of my feelings? How can you say that Robin?"Tears rolled down her cheek and I wanted to lift my hands and wipe them off but I stopped myself.

"Mom, you have been lonely even when I am this close to you, you just care about your drinks and get wasted all the time."These were not the words I wanted to tell her, this was not the fuel I wanted to add to the flames, but would you blame me for this?

"Robin..."A line appeared in between her brows and her eyes searched mine with tears in them. "Not you too, you also think I am an irresponsible mother, how could you?"She began to sob.

"Not that mom,"I said loudly.

"Then what Robin?"She cuts me off. "Stay with me and I will change my drinking habits."She begged me but I shook my head. I had pleaded with her over and over again on this issue but she had ignored me and had kept it up.

"If I stay with you, you will lose me forever..."

"What are you talking about Robin?"

"I saw it."Tears filled my eyes but I never wanted to cry, crying was for weak people. "I saw the court file, I read it..."

"No, you didn't..."She looked at me with a furrowed brow. She must have thought I was naive to all that had been happening, but they have made me smart, they have made me this way.

"I did and it says that dad has the right to take me away from you once I turn seven and that if you refuse, he would take me away and you would never see me again."

"Robin..."Tears flowed uncontrollably from her eyes and she held my shoulder with sadness.

"Don't you want to see me again mom?"I looked into her eyes and I could feel the pain she felt. "Don't you want us to meet again?"I held her hands. "I want to meet you again mom."The tears I had been holding back flowed down my cheek.

"I want to be with you too, but...not now,"I shook my head. "Not now mom, let me go with dad and when I get my right, the rights to make my decisions, I will return to you,"I assured her and the tears in her eyes seemed to stop flowing.

"Robin..."She pulled me into a hug and I felt so small in her embrace. "My child, I am so sorry to have laid so much burden on you son, I am truly sorry."

I know my mother loves me, just like she had told my father, I was the only joy she had left, she had never hit me before, no matter what, just wanted her to stop all the feelings she had for someone like my father, perhaps that way she could feel less lonely.

"Just promise me one thing mom, promise me you would stop drinking and start a new and better life."I let her warmth envelop me, who knows, this might be the last time I see her.

She pulled me from her embrace and locked eyes with me. "For you son, I promise this."I forced a smile and raised my hands as I wiped off her tears. I wish this was the last time she cries and wishes this was an honest promise she was making.

I looked out of the window and exhaled softly as I got up from the sofa. "Since I would be leaving soon, let me go look around one more time."She nodded and I walked out of the house after picking up my coat.

I was not going to miss this country, I had no friends in it, no friends in school either, I was more like a kid without feelings and I love keeping to myself, all I did was to watch my mother cry and lock my heart.

I stepped out of the house and the cold breeze welcomed me. I rarely leave the apartment, not because I wasn't allowed to, but because I didn't want to. Seeing joyful kids only makes me jealous and makes me wish I could be like them and I hate that feeling.

I hate feeling jealous, I hate thinking so little of myself and I hate it when I just couldn't live like these other kids, with their smiles and carefree nature, ever since I read the court order, just like the smiles left my mother's face, it also left mine.

I looked up to the sky and wished I could freeze the moment and stay with my mother forever without going with a father with whom I barely see or had interactions.

I walked down the park, if I could be an adult and make my own decisions then I won't have to follow the rules or any order that says I have to go with my father after turning seven.

"Ouch!"I heard a sharp voice and looked down to see who I had bumped into and I saw a notepad scattered on the floor.

"I am sorry."I squatted down and picked it up.

"I am sorry too..."The soft voice said again as she squats to help gather the notepad that belongs to her, I raised my eyes and for a brief moment, I could look away.

"The moment I first met you."That was what I heard my subconscious say before I shook the thought away and handed her the notepad as we both got up.

"Thank you."She said softly and held the notepad close with a smile on her lips, this was different from the smile which made me feel jealous.

I looked from her hair down to her toe and she looked so adorable, her hair was painted into two simple locks and her eyelashes fluttered as it gazed at her notepad. She looked at it as if it was a treasure.

Her cheek was pink as her red lips turned up with a smile. She was the epitome of beauty. I have heard those words a lot from my English teacher at school.

She was wearing a blue flowery dress that matches her eye colour and her shape was curvy even if she was just a little kid, and for the first time in a long time my lips turned up.

"You are pretty,"I said softly. "At least I saw a pretty damsel before I had to leave."

She looked at me with a confused expression, I was sure she didn't understand my bullshit but she smiled. "Thank you for the compliment."

My eyes flickered to the hairpin on her hair. "Lovely hairpin."I wanted to drag the conversation since this might be the last person I ever talk to in this country.

"My mother made it for me."She touched her hair and blushed.

"Can I see it?"I asked politely and she nodded. I took it off from her soft blonde hair gently and looked down at it and I noticed two letters written on it. "I.K?"I looked up at her curiously.

"My mother transcribed the words in it."She beams and I wait for more answers. "It is my name and surname."

I looked down at the pin and then back at her. "What is your name?"The way the letters were transcribed in the hairpin was admirable and it makes me curious to know her name.

"My name is..."She was about to say her name when my phone rang and I took it out from my pocket and looked down at the caller ID.

"I should take this,"I answered the phone and placed it on my ear. "Hello..."

"Robin, son."I heard the male voice that has always made my mother cry and the smiles that had just appeared on my face not too long ago disappeared.

"Dad..."

"I am coming to pick you up, today son."

"So soon?"I was shocked and my pupils enlarged, it was only yesterday I had heard him speak to my mother, why was he already coming over with this short notice.

"Yes, you should prepare."

"You shouldn't do that, not so soon..."

"Just do as you are told."He told me coldly. "I am hanging up now."

"You can't do that...dad, dad..."I looked down at my phone in anger and held back my urge to smash it. I didn't want to act like my mother right here.

"Is something wrong?"I heard a tiny voice and looked up, I had almost forgotten there was someone here and was looking at me curiously.

I looked down at her hairpin I was holding and placed it on her hands before walking away. I was no longer in the mood for chitchat, I just had to hurry home to see the sadness on my mothers face.

"Son."My mother squats down as she looks at me with tears in her eyes. My father stood close watching us as our plane would be leaving in five minutes. "You can still decide to stay with me."She searched my eyes.

I looked at my father, a tall man with a cold shoulder and a face without a smile. I still can not figure out why my mother had to fall in love with a person like him.

"I would be okay with dad and I will be back to your side and I won't go back, just keep to your promises and stop drinking, lead a good life."This should be what a parent would tell their children, but for me, it was the other way round and I hope she listens.

She pulled me into a tight hug. "I will, I promise you, I will miss you so much, I really will..."She broke down in a sob and I patted her back, something my father should do.

"Stop crying mom, if you cry how can I go?"I looked at her face and she wiped off her tears.

"Okay, I will be strong."She looked up at me and heard footsteps on my father draw nearer.

"Let's go, Robin."I looked up at him and his eyes were dark without expression, I couldn't tell what this man acts this way. "Come on."

"Mom, it is time for me to go."I looked at my mother with tender eyes and she nodded and got up.

She looked directly at my father and her tender eyes turned into a glare. "Benny, you better take good care of him, don't ever let him get hurt and do not hold him back from his rights!"She said in a sharp tongue and my father scoffed.

"Look who's talking,"he seized her and I told them they were about to start the regular argument, but I hope they stop since we are at an airport and not at home. "I am a better parent unlike you."He turned to me. "Let's go now."

"Bye, mom..."I said softly before turning to go with my father and with a heavy heart.

"I love you son."My mother called out. "I love you so much and I will wait for you, I will wait until you come back to me..."Her voice broke into a sob as she kept repeating her words.

I clenched my fist as tears struggled to flow from my eyes. I didn't want to look back, but what could a child who has lived with his mother for seven years do when he is being taken away.

"Mom!"I called out and turned around. "Mom!"I shouted as tears rolled down my cheek as I made my way back to her open arms.

"Oh, son, oh my Robin."She held me close in her embrace and the tears I have been holding back forced their way out.

"I love you mom, I love you so much and I promise I will be a good son and always think of you no matter what."I closed my eyes, who cares about being weak this time.

She took off the rash on her neck and wore it around my neck. "Have this, think of the mother that loves you whenever you look at this, wear it and I will always be close to you."

She was wrong, even if I don't have this necklace on, I would always have her in my heart. "Okay, mom."

She wipes off my tears and nods. "Now go on, your father is waiting."She nudged me and I looked back to see my father watching us. "Go on."She forced a smile and I know she wants that to be the last memory I remember of her.

"Okay, mom."I nod and touch the necklace she had put around my neck before going with my father, this time I didn't glance back.

I had to leave my mother to be with her again.

I spaced around the entrance of the concert hall as my eyelashes fluttered, my phone on my hand and my lips moved quickly as I spoke to the person on the other side of the line, my heart was racing, no it was beating faster than normal.

"Oh Kate hurry up, else we would miss this show," I told her quickly and my legs itching to go into the concert hall without her. This was the show I never missed for anything because my favourite person was in there, correction...the only man I admire was in there.

"I know... I will be there in five minutes." I could tell Kate was running since I could hear her quick breathing from the other side of the line.

"Okay." I hung up also knowing that my best friend Kate loves the show and wouldn't be happy if she can't watch it.

I live in the outskirts of town and he only comes here once in a while for the show. It was because of him that I changed my dream and chose to play music.

As a growing young kid, I have loved writing fairy tale novels where a prince comes to a castle and rescue his princess, I always love those kinds of stories but as I grew up I only thought of them as something childish, in the real world those things don't happen and I am not like Cinderella or Rapunzel.

My life was a perfect one, I lived with both my parents and didn't lack anything although we were not rich and I was always given my freedom, not locked away in a huge castle.

My mother and father run a cookie shop and the cookies always taste nice. Also I have my best friend Kate. I have known her forever and we both changed our dreams together, and we love each other so much.

"Ivana," I heard my name and turned in the direction to see Kate run towards me as she paused to catch her breath. "Tell me I didn't miss the show." She exhaled softly, holding her waist and panting heavily.

Kate is a pretty lady, remember the song Lady in red, that was exactly who she looks like and surprisingly, red was her favourite dress and she always wears it to this show, saying it could attract her prince charming to her.

"No, we better hurry inside else we won't find any space to sit," I told her and she nodded as we went into the hall and just like I had thought, the hall was filled with crowd and honestly the look of the musician always pulled crowds.

"I am glad I arrived before it started," Kate said as we both located a seat and sat down. "I can't wait to see Hinn Carlos." She looked at the stage as they were just about to announce his name.

"Me too..." I fixed my eyes on the stage. "Kate, it's starting." I beam and there the man of my dreams walks onto the stage and there is a big uproar.

You may think Hinn Carlos was a man in his thirties, but no, he should be in his early twenties, and to be specific since I have done a lot of research on him after laying eyes on him that blessed first day.

Hinn Carlos is a twenty-three-year-old handsome man with a brow nicely cut hair, long lashes and sharply pointed nose, his eyes were grey and he has a well built muscular body and his shape is superb fitting that of a model.

He attends a school in the city named Larry High, my dream school but it was way too expensive and I just have to shut my lips about it and attend the one I could. Anyways, Hinn is handsome and good at music and his voice was enchanting.

I looked around and could see the crowd of people whose eyes were on Hinn, he deserves this and I can't wait to also be like him, stand on stage and touch many hearts with my music, I turn my eyes back at Hinn and I know that I was the only one admiring him from down here.

He couldn't see me and am not sure if he would admire me as I admire him, I am just normal and not sure if someone like him would say hello to me if we cross paths.

I have fair skin, ugly blue eyes I didn't find attractive even when Kate told me she loves my eyes, it looks so different from the eyes of those I see, then talk about my face, others are pleased with their looks but it was different from me, I look down at myself a lot, I was not like those princesses in fairytales, that was also one of the reasons I dropped those writing dreams and came back to reality.

I was in a lot of thoughts and didn't know when the music finished and Kate called my attention. The moment I looked at her, the hall was already close to being empty.

"Has it ended already?" I looked at the stage and the instrumentalists were clearing the stage.

"Don't tell me you were daydreaming again?" Kate told me and got up with a smile. I stood up and we made it out of the hall.

I can't believe that Hinn music always makes me feel lost in thought. This was why I said his voice was enchanting. "I can't wait to hear him sing again," Kate said as she placed her guitar around her shoulder and I looked at her.

"I forgot to ask how your practice went." I watch Kate groan as if I had reminded her of her worst nightmare.

"My fingers hurt." She lifted it for me to see and I glanced at her sour finger. Playing guitar strings always gives fingers sour.

"We need to apply for medicine on it, come let's go," I told her and was about to take a step when she stopped me. "What?" I looked at Kate who was not glancing over my shoulder.

"Ivana, let's go through this way," she pointed in the opposite direction and I raised my eyebrow curiously, waiting for her to explain further. "Preshy is there, he is probably waiting for me." She looked at me with pleading eyes and I chuckled.

"You are so funny Kate, are you scared of Preshy?" I asked her. Preshy has always pestered Kate ever since she turned sixteen and I could see that it was love in his eye, but she always finds him annoying and sidelines him.

"I am not scared of him, I can step on him with my feet, but just seeing him makes me angry and I don't want to feel angry today." She told me as she held my hands to go the other way. I smiled and turned to go with her when I caught a glimpse of Hinn.

He was holding his guitar and a girl was behind him and in the look of this she seems to be pestering him and it makes me furrow my brow, she was not even dressed like a girl, she was dressed like a tomboy and the most annoying aspect was that Hinn doesn't want to talk to her but she was still being a nuisance to him.

"Kate," I called out and she looked at me. "Hold on for a second, I will be right back." I pulled my hand from her and made my way in the direction I had seen Hinn go.

"Hey, Hinn!" I heard the lady say in an informal and rude voice and I stopped behind the wall, she didn't seem to call him in a rosy voice like other ladies would do if they get a chance to talk to him which made me curious.

"Oh Clara, please give me a break." Hinn looked at her with a furrowed brow, pocketing his car key and glaring at her.

"Were you trying to sneak out on me?" Clara placed her hands on her waist and glared back, the air between them tense and I was waiting to see Hinn sideline her but his furrowed brow gradually relaxed and he opened his lips.

"No, not that," He said softly and I just couldn't understand what was going on.

"I think you were," Clara said in a loud voice and I can't help but wonder why a girl could speak so rudely to a man like Hinn, a person everyone admires.

"Please no nagging, I did a very wonderful performance and I need to rest." Hinn turned to open his car but she blocked his path.

"Rest you say?" Clara scoffed. "People are all cheering for you as if you are some kind of celebrity but they don't know that you are a broke man who takes money from his cousin and runs away without paying back!" Clara raised her voice and I saw Hinn glance over his shoulder and then turn to her.

"Shhh... Someone might hear you..."

"I hope they do..." Clara said out loud again and I wanted to chuckle but put my hands on my lips to hold it back. It was funny to watch. I wonder if Kate would find Hinn adorable if she sees this, but I still find him cute. "Where is my 300 dollars?!" Clara stretched her hands and I blink, it was that kind of money she was making a fuss over.

"Huhu... I took 100 dollars, not 300 dollars." Hinn glared at her and I sniggered where I stood, he was just so adorable.

"The interest is 200 dollars." Clara retorts and I frowned at the place I stood, this was a high level of scam.

Hinn scoffed. "Are you trying to scam me?" He said the words I have in my head out loud and I nod at where I stood, she should be taught a lesson for trying to be a loan shark.

"You made a lot of money from selling your tickets, so 300 dollars wouldn't be an issue, so hand it over." Clara stretched out her hands again with her feet gently tapping the floor.

"I will pay you back by tomorrow," Hinn said softly and looked over his shoulder again to make sure no one was watching and I had to hide properly behind the wall. I wanted to talk to him but this wasn't the right time, he would be embraced if I made my way over.

"I don't trust your words whereas I need it now!" I heard Clara's loud voice again and of truth, a girl shouldn't speak so loudly, it was annoying. I could see Kate who had lost patience in waiting for me to come over to my direction.

I glance at Hinn just in time to see him open his wallet. "I just can't escape you, can I?" He mutters and hands the money over to her. "Now get lost!" He told her coldly and I could tell from the look in his eyes that he finds his cousin so annoying.

"Yeah, I will, you too." Clara smiles and pockets the money as she skips away joyfully. "See you in school tomorrow," Clara called out without looking back at him.

I saw Hinn mumbles something under his breath with a stern look before getting into his car, he started his car and drove off.

"Ivana, what are you looking at?"

Startled, I turned to look at Kate who was staring in the direction Hinn and Clara were standing not too long ago. "Umm... Nothing." I held her hands. "We better leave now before this place becomes more deserted.

"I should be telling you that." She frowned and I smiled as I linked arms with her and we both hurried away. First we had to stop by my mother's cookie shop.

After the regular boring class at the small school, I attend close to my home, I stopped by a café to have a drink with Kate. I looked out of the window, it was snowing heavily and the place seemed so boring to me, there was nothing here for me.

It was always the usual waking up in the morning, eating the meal prepared by my parents and going to the most boring school where the classes would make you drool, familiar faces in class and school and no new student ever arrive, just the dummies.

The only thing that makes me love it here is whenever Hinn Carlos comes over for his shows and Kate, who had been with me, there was no dull moment with her, but the next thing that came out of her lips crushed my heart.

"Ivana, I am transferring."