You Are Mine

"I love you,' he says. He held my face and kissed me on the lips deeply. 'I love you as well.' When he pulled away from the kiss, I responded. His eyes were filled with sadness and love. What went wrong, and why do I feel like this is the last time I'll see him? He sighed as he rested his brow on my head.

"What is it, Haru?' Something is definitely wrong, I inquired. It's there in my bones and I can feel it.

"There isn't anything, Johan.' He smiled at me. Why do I feel like there's something I'm supposed to know?"

'Are you sure, because your face shows you're worried?' I cupped my hands around his face and looked him in the eyes.

Whenever you look at me like that, Johan, it really turns me on.' He said this while still smiling at me.

'Don't try to change the subject, Haru, what's the matter?' I know him well, and when he's like this, he always tries to change the subject and say something else. I'm having a bad feeling about this.

'Can we...discuss this later?' he asked, staring at me. 'Please?' He begged me to listen to him. I nodded in agreement. 'Okay?' We began walking silently down the road. Then he asked, 'How is your mother doing now?' We kept walking, and then I said. 'She's fine, it's just...,' I hestiated. Then I shook my head to clear my mind of any negative thoughts. 'I can only hope for the best, she's getting married?' I informed him.

'What?' he asked, surprised. 'I'm not sure why you're telling me this now.' He stated. 'I could have told you, but you were too busy.' I didn't want to bother you, did I?' I elaborated.

"It's not a diversion. It's good news, Johan,' he laughed as he tapped me on the shoulder, then frowned at me. 'You don't seem happy, do you?' He inquired. I turned to face him and said. 'I'm content; at the very least, she has found happiness in her life.' But it's been years, like since I was born. So I'm hoping her marriage will last, but...,' I lowered my gaze to the ground, both hands on my pockets. 'However, what?' He inquired, perplexed. 'I don't like this man; something about him doesn't feel right.' I stated.

'Have you discussed this with your mother?' He inquired. 'I did, but she just said, 'Don't worry, Johan. He's a very nice guy, and once you get to know him, you'll like him. she says?' I mimicked and rolled my eyes like my mother. 'Stop laughing, Haru,' I exclaimed, when I noticed he has started laughing. 'She's such a love sick fool,' I groaned.

'Hey, don't talk about your mother that way,' he said, but as soon as he said it. He burst out laughing again and collapsed on the ground. What's so funny that he's laughing so hard? 'Haru, stop laughing?' I asked. 'Come on, what's the big deal?' When I saw that he wasn't stopping, I became irritated and began walking away, leaving him to laugh his head off. But I liked how he was laughing.

It made me happy because he had been sad for a while, but seeing him laugh now made me happy.

'Wait a minute?' He yelled and dashed after me. 'You didn't have to leave like that, babe,' he said, still gasping for air. 'And you didn't have to laugh so hard that you couldn't stop laughing.' I grumbled, pretending that what he was doing was bothering me. 'Come on, you were so amusing with that face you were making that I didn't have a choice.' 'I couldn't stop myself, you know,' he admitted, still holding back his laughter. I sighed, what could I do, he'll still laugh. 'It's getting late; could you please escort me home?' I inquired. 'No problem, babe,' he said with a smile.

He kissed me and wished me a good night after escorting me home.

'Do you know how much I love you, babe?' Why was he hugging me, he whispered on my hair. 'Always and forever remember, Johan, that I will never stop loving you?' He hugged me so tightly, as if it were the last time I'd ever see him.

'I love you as well, Haru, and I will remember that forever.' I said this while kissing him on the neck. I still have a bad feeling about this; he said we could talk later, but perhaps I should just give him some time to tell me about it. After that, he waved at me and exited through my gate, which I had closed.

Johan Smith is my name. I'm 17 years old, with a younger sister and a best friend named Jack. I've always been who I am.

My other best friend's name is Ava, and my girlfriend's name is Charlotte. These are people who meant a lot to me before I met Haru.

Okay, I understand what you're thinking. I'm a fucking and worthless cheater. That I am deserving of death right now. I'm a scumbag and a faggot.

Yes, Charlotte is my girlfriend. She has always been there for me; we met in kindergarten, went through middle school, and then high school together, and Jack was a part of it all. We first met Ava when we were in high school together. She was always on her own and did things her way. She had no friends, but participating in club activities or sports brought us together because she was good at them and always taught me how to do them.

And that's when we became friends, like bestfriends, and that's when Charlotte and Ava reconciled their feud because Charlotte suspected me of cheating on her with Ava. So, once the misunderstanding was resolved. Despite this, they all became best friends, including Jack and me. Every day, including Sundays, we were having a good time. We're having a good time as a group of four. But there are times when I feel something is missing, both in me and in Charlotte. Our relationship was peaceful and calm, but something was missing, and I couldn't figure out what it was.

But everything was fine until I met Haru. On Monday morning, when we first arrived at school. We noticed people giggling and whispering to one another. So, when we arrived at class.

I saw a beautiful boy, yes, I will call him beautiful because he was so beautiful, stunning. For a brief moment, I was moved. I've never felt this strongly about anyone before. This feeling was strong, and I just stared at him, as if struck by love.

'Hi?' He smiled cheerfully, and then everyone burst inside the classroom, surrounding him and asking him a slew of questions.' He was treated as if he were a celebrity. Even Ava approached him to get a better look at him, as did my girlfriend. He was like a foreigner in America, so it was unusual to meet someone like this. I discovered he was Japanese. That's why I noticed his accent was different. Jack and I just stood at the front of the room, watching what was going on.

I began dating him after a month. My day was full of life when I was with him. It was as though I never had a need for anything. I no longer had a sense of emptiness inside of me. I was overflowing. I didn't have to worry about offending anyone when I was with him since I could say or do anything. I can be myself while I'm around him.

This was how Haru and I started dating.

FLASHBACK.

I'm not sure where the others are; I can't believe they skipped class without me. I began strolling towards the canteen to see if any of them was present.

Someone suddenly drew me back, and we both went into the chemistry class, where he locked the door while I was dusting my arm that had been touched by his hand. Who could this person be? He was wearing a black jacket hoodie, so I couldn't see him clearly.

'What the hell is going on here....' He took off his hoodie and peered at me at that point.

'Haru, what are you doing here?' I inquired, my curiosity piqued.

'You were the one, I kissed you last night at the party, right?' He said this while glancing at me.

'Wha...t ... the hell... a...re you talking about,' I stuttered. Why am I stuttering, Why did he say it out of nowhere? I'm not sure what he's up to; is this a joke or a game?

'I know what I'm saying, I kissed you last night, but you quickly pushed me away when your girlfriend approached?' he said. I was taken aback by the way he spoke. Is he unconcerned about it all...

'That's ridiculous. Isn't it revolting to you? I mean, who the hell comes up to his fellow guy one morning and says, "I kissed you while I was drunk. How come it makes no sense to me?' I said this while putting my hands in the pockets of my black slacks.

I'm genuinely acting as if I have no idea what he's talking about. Yes, I understand what he's talking about, but admitting it to him is embarrassing. I have to remain vigilant in order to keep track of what he's up to; I can't trust him. I'm not sure if he's recording stuff or not, so I have to be cautious.

'You are correct. But don't you remember how passionately I kissed you?' He said that with a smile on his face. He's very attractive. *Johan, snap out of it. Always remember that he's a guy* I thought. 'I think you're insane, please excuse me.' I walked past him on my way to the door. He shoved me towards the door and gave me a kiss on the lips. Oh, my goodness. I couldn't help myself. The kiss was fantastic. He continued to kiss me, and before I knew it, he was carrying me up and place me at the head of the table. We kissed and moaned incessantly. When he unbuttoned my sleeve and began kissing my chest, I had no idea. Then he came to a halt and peered at me, his lips flushed.

'I had no idea you could kiss that way?' He murmured this while licking his lips.

'I was...carried away for a moment,' I confessed, blushing. What happened to me, what's the matter with me? I'm not sure how I could have let him kiss me like that. Why?

As I stepped down from the table and began walking towards the door, I pushed him away from me and began buttoning my sleeve.

'This isn't the first time you've kissed a guy, is it?' He gave me a friendly smile. How in the world did he know that, I was perplexed.

I inquired, "How did you know that?" I've kissed a guy before, but I've never told anyone about it. Jack is completely unaware of it too. This is unbelievable.

'You kissed me on the way through. It was almost as though you were starving for it,' he gushed. 'Or, to put it another way, you've been waiting for it to happen, and it appears that you're gay but want it disguised.' He expressed his thoughts.

Through a kiss, he discovered that. He is insane.

'Please don't say anything like that.' 'Are you sure you're not gay?' I inquired. I wasn't sure of myself; I'd never considered myself to be gay to begin with.

'I'm aware that you require my services. I see it, and you have a hard boner?' He had lust in his eyes and stared at my boner.

'Haru, stop this. I'm not like you,' I asserted, using my hands to demonstrate my point. I covered my groin with my other hand. I didn't realize how obvious it was going to be. 'And, Johan, to answer your questions. It's true I've always been gay?' He said confidently, his arms crossed across his chest.

'You can't be serious,' I murmured, turning my back on him. It was a distraction to be staring at him right now. Why will a ladies man, like him be gay.

'I am, and I know you are gay or maybe bisexual,' He shook his head sideways and continued to smile. And he just concluded and why is he telling me all this.

'Just shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up, and don't pretend like you know who I am,' I yelled angrily. I hurried out of the chemistry lab after opening the door. I don't want to see him again, how did he know that? What a blunder! Because he attends the same high school as me, I must do everything possible to avoid him. *This isn't the first time you've kissed a guy, is it?' As I continued to run, I shook my head. Those words, he said to me, triggered memories I don't want to revisit. Not now, and not ever. I regretted what I had done, I don't want to ever remember those memories.

I dashed to the canteen, knowing that everyone would have returned to class by now. As a result, it will be empty. I needed to be alone in order to think. Why was he doing this to me? Tears streamed down my face. I bury my head in the table, hoping no one will notice. I'm not gay, don't get me wrong. I can't possibly be that kind of person. But the way he kissed me was still playing over and over in my mind, and it was turning me on.. Fuck this groin, it's always getting up. He's a man, not a woman.

But it wouldn't listen, so I kept laying my head down, and before I knew it, I drifted off to sleep.

"Wake up,' Someone called out to me, "Johan.' When I finally opened my eyes, I saw Eva. She continued to yell my name. 'Wake up, and tell me where you've been.' I glanced at her as I slowly opened my eyes. I asked, raising my head from the table. 'Has class ended yet?'

"Yes, courses have ended, and we are now closed. I've looked all around the school for you.' She whined.

"I'm sorry, where are the others?' I asked, my eyes still closed. I'm still feeling drowsy.

They're all waiting expect for Charlotte at the school gate; and she is looking for you as well?' She murmured this while resting her hands on her hips. I stood up and stated. 'All right, Eva, let's go.' I began walking, and she quickly followed.

"Are you all right?' she inquired, her gaze falling on my face.

"I'm OK. Why, do you ask?' I replied, 'Because this is the first time I've seen you like this, you look sad.' Was I really that obvious?

"Sad,' I said, laughing. 'No way, I've always been this way, and it's always been this way whenever Charlotte and I got into a fight,' I responded, attempting to disprove her.

"No, I'm not joking. Even if you and Charlotte had a fight, this is the first time. You don't appear to be like this at all. Yes, you attempt to reconcile your differences with Charlotte. But you don't look like this; you're different, and you appear to have been hurt...'

"Johan,' Charlotte screamed, interrupting Eva. Charlotte arrived on time. Thank goodness.

I'm not in the mood to answer queries right now. I simply want it to be between me and myself. That's the way it should be.

"I've been looking for you all around, Johan. 'Where have you been?' she inquired, concerned.

'I'm OK, baby,' I say. Don't worry about me; I was in the canteen and so I had slept off. I'm sorry, OK.' I drew her close to me and hugged her. I felt good hugging her since I could forget about my difficulties for a moment with her at my side.

'OK, text me next time or call me. So I will know where to look for you. I was concerned about you, Johan,' She mumbled under her breath as she hugged me. 'Don't be,' I said, chuckling. 'It's not like I've been kidnapped or anything, darling; I'm still here.' I mumbled something, and she backed away from me, taking my hand in hers, and we began walking.

'You should have informed me, Eva, that you discovered him.' She muttered something. 'I'm sorry, I only spotted him a few minutes before you noticed us,' Eva stated.

'All right, no issue.' 'Let's go to karaoke,' She yelled.

'Huh.' I mentioned that at the same time as Eva.

'What was that, you don't like it?' Charlotte was the one who inquired.

'I like it, but it's not enjoyable,' Eva explained.

'It's also noisy.' My ear drums almost came off the last time I went there?' I groaned and said.

'It's because you were still a child at the time.' Come on, let's get this party started. Isn't it going to be a blast? Everyone's going, and Haru is going to be there?' She exclaimed cheerfully.

I got dumbfounded. 'Haru?' I grumbled.

'Yes, he'll be there as well.' He came to the last party we went to, and he said he'd come to this one as well?' She gave an explanation.

Haru, I didn't realize he was also going to be there. Right now, he's the last person I want to see.