Wine Stained Lips

I waited by the door as my feet eagerly tapped on the wooden floor at the entrance of the hospital ward. The light beamed brightly ,the smell of drugs and disinfectant pollutes the air, making it hard to breathe. The sirens noise echoes from an ambulance in a distance,making my nervous system a complete wreck. I held back the tears in my eyes and prayed to God desperately. The door swung open and the nurse came out. A flatter of relief consumed me as she gave me a little smile. Thirty minutes--- Thirty minutes had felt like a lifetime of waiting.

I hate it here,it held bad memories.

"You can go in to see her" she said, stepping aside for me to go in. I went in a rush as my heart melted at the sight of my mother laying helpless on the bed. She smiled,but it wasn't the type that reached her eyes. I took her in my arms hugging her softly. "It's alright" I said comforting her and mostly to myself from letting my thoughts run wild.

About an hour ago, Mum had collapsed when making her special Sunday morning pancakes. Now,I stood by her bed as needles pierced in her skin, keeping her, sustaining her, holding her together from God knows what.

A moment later,the nurse came back and requested the doctor wants to see me. I kissed mum on the cheek and went to see the doctor. When I walked into the doctors offices,I'm met with four piercing eyes. She is a blonde woman,I assume is in her later 40's. She wore a tick glasses that made her eyes appear double,almost animated. She offered me a seat and broke the disdain news to me.

The thing about doctors office, it's always going to have an uncomfortable feel. My eyes were focused on her glasses,then her hair,then the coffee mug on her desk---anything to keep me grasping out for a of sense of reality. She hands me a report of mum's diagnosis.

"Lungs...Cancer?" I said in disbelief,my hands shaking profusely. " I don't understand...but...but she's healthy?" I said as tears began to pour.She gave me small hand squeezed and she continued by telling me how there is still time for treatment since it was detected quickly.

I took a look at the a second paper she handed to me that contained the amount of money mum's surgery contains. Where would I get $3000 dollars before the end of the month?,I thought to myself. I managed to gather my thoughts together as I walked out of the doctor's office. Mum was discharged shortly and we both went home to our uncertain fate.

At night,I laid awake in bed with my laptop light igniting my dark and scattered room. I finally checked my messages and saw I had missed so many calls. I rolled over to my emails when Julie's call came on.i looked at my call log and she had called me thirteen times when I was in the hospital. Julie is my Boss at Halt Fashion;a small fashion brand here in Boston. I hesitate feeling completely overwhelmed.

"Calla, there's good news... where have you been- we're celebrating tonight woahh!" She screamed into the phone.

"Hi Julie --"

"Calla,we got the contract with Renault this summer... Well,not yet but we're in the top five to present tomorrow....woahh!" she screamed into the phone. Her drunk voice collapsing together, almost making it hard to understand her.

"What!?" I sat up

"Check your email nowwwwww...come early tomorrow. " she mumbles drunkenly before cutting the call.

I hovered to my laptop and went straight to my emails. I opened it and my hands fidgets on my laps,a crippling smile appeared on my face. I could add this with my savings for a new house to get mum's treatment,I thought.

I rolled over and stared at the ceiling with silent prayers in my heart that everything will turn out alright until I fell asleep.

I woke the next day with a surge of hope. I ran to mum's room to check if she was okay. Aunt Kathy,mum's sister had come in this morning to take care of her. She was a few years younger than mum and a United Nations volunteer nurse in Colombia so she knew more on what to do. I quietly turned the door knob and peeped at her,she's was still asleep. I left a note by her night stand and ran back to my room with water dripping from my hair into my robe. I got dressed for work; I wore my burgundy blazer which I designed last month and a peer of white heels and left for work.

When I got to work, Jeremy,the receptionist handed me a cup of coffee and gave me a long hug. Julia walked in shortly and ran to give me a hug with teary eyes. I looked around and suddenly everyone looked alike with sympathy spread across their face. I'm reminded how much my heart aches and how quickly things turned around yesterday.

Julia invites me to her office and requested I stay if I wouldn't be able to go with her to the meeting with the Renault's. I insisted upon it and explained to her how I need to take up the project since It was my idea in the first place,plus I needed the money for mum's surgery.

We got to Mr Renault's office a little while later. We waited by the lobby before one of his staff directed us to his office to meet with him. When we got to the door,a brunette lady walked in with a sly smile spread croos her face. Her T-shirt was unbuttoned a little too low,just enough to reveal her cleavage and a peep of her lacy black bra. She adjusted her scattered hair and pulled on her shirt to cover up as she saw us.

Julie and I made a brief eye contact before walking into the office. We had a thing were we communicated without utterly a word and I could tell she might have cursed a little. The room was specious with a full glass window,you could see the lights of Boston. One the left side,a big shelf of wine was on display like a bar but more aesthetical. The office desk was placed on a small platform opposite, with a great view of the window and a mini white and gray themed cozy couch sitting in the office and the lights of the chandelier luminary effects reflects on the white tile floors of the office.

My Renault looked younger than we expected. He looks just around my age. He stood by his office desk, wiping something from his pants with paper towels. He had dark hair and wore a blue shirt that hugged his frame intensely.He's almond eyes glints as his attention drew on us when we walked in.

"Oh sorry...Hi, please have a seat" He said gesturing to the Mini white couch sitting in the room. His accent was strong but yet corrupted like someone who traveled alot. He sounded English and like a New Yorker,and a little bit of French sometimes. He discarded the tissue paper in the bin beside him and walked over to us.

"Hello, I'm Julie and this is Calla" Julie introduced,a wide smile beamed on her face and I could tell she was checking him out. She was in her late forty's but sometimes she acted so care free like her 20's never ended. She stretched forth and hands, indicating a hand shake. He shook her and his hands,over to me too. I shook him. His palm was warm and slightly sticky. The rush of unsettling thoughts lingers on my mind. He probably cum shot in his hands...or could it be pussy juice from the woman we saw earlier?. An irritating expression cringe over me. I managed to shake the feeling off before anyone could notice.

"I'm James,Mr Renault's son. He sent me here to proceed with the plan--" He began, he was quite an intimidating young man. It was something about the way he gazed. His stare was fiery.

"Ahhh yes" Julie said " We brought the proposal with us and we made the draft for the *Winery& Fashion* event in Château de Versailles in June. Julie when into details about the designs and the numbers of models that'd be used during the event.

I sat there,as my unhinged thought spiral me into depression. I thought of mum and how she struggled to breathe before we got to the hospital. I thought of James sticky hands and what had made them that way. I thought of how much my heart ached so desperately, for once I don't want to be on survival mode, longing for the simple things in life.

James' gaze fixed on me ,his brows ached in a questionable way and I suddenly I realized I had zoned out. Julie cleared her throat giving me a puzzling look.

"I believe you came up with this project,Ms Calla?" James asked. I nodded "yes" I replied.

"Pitch it to me?" He articulates ,his accent becoming more obvious. He rested his back and stared. I was completely cut unaware. My anxiety pushed through my vains--- Julie cleared her throat again,snapping me back to reality.

"We're are bringing fashion in collaboration with winery as an expression of art..." I paused, I'm usually more confident but there was something about his stare. He almond eyes felt naked through my skin... almost sinful. He was looking through me,not at me. " This would effectively shape the media representation of Renault Wine because it would provide a platform for upcoming models, fashion designers and more to recognize Renault Wine,not just as a benefactor but will increase it's stock markets, provide it the luxury of the likes of Louis Vuitton,Zara--- ermmm"

"Enough" he cuts me off. A sense of fear and panic consumed me. My hands quivers, clinching to the hem of my dress. " Ms Calla,you don't seem to be here and I'd appreciate if my time isn't wasted. If you don't mind. Please excuse me" He stood up. I stood up "I'm sorry " I said swiftly feeling tears build up in my eyes. Julie got up and pleaded but he walked away .

I ran to the nearest rest room as tears finally fell from my eyes. I heard foot steps shortly,then Julie walked in ,she walked up to me and held me tightly. We made fun of that jerk, James and his sticky cum hands

"You know, he's hot but he's just another vain trust fund kid, spending Daddy's fortune" Julie said,our laugh echoed in unison

"Agreed!... his button bells shaped butt--" I said furiously

"Woahhh...woahhh...okay,know what yeah" Julie said. A few seconds out laughter had died down and I asked to be alone to clean up and gather myself. Julie is not just my Boss,she was my first friend when I got into the fashion industry. We get each other.

"You know you're in the male restroom right?" She said momentarily.

"Ohhhh-" I said , mouthing my word dramatically

"Clean yourself up,okay...I'd be outside" she said before she walked out of the restroom.

I looked around and it became even more obvious that I was in the male bathroom as the little pee sink on the far left gave it away. I looked in the mirror,to adjust my mascara quickly and leave when he come out of one of toilet stalls. He stood by the mirror close to me and turned on the tap to wash his hands.

James Renault had heard everything we said about him,even worse he heard me cry. A sense of embarrassment flushed me. I felt like I had been punched in the tummy.

He reached out to the hands dryer and wiped his hands with some toilet paper. He didn't acknowledge I was there, maybe my prayers were answered and someone had dropped an invisible cloak on me. He began to walk out the restroom then he turned around and faced me.

That's it,I'm so losing my contract.

He stood so close up to my face,his fragrance clogged my lungs. His breath was warm on my face and I got a clearer view of his almond eyes. He lifted his palm and touched my skin. His warm hands held my arms.

"See,all washed. I didn't have a cum or any juice on them. Not that I owe you any explanation. She spilled tea on my Trouser--". I look down at his pants and he had on a different pair of pants. He made an uncomfortable sound and I immediately avert my gaze my to him. It was as awkward as it could be. "...his button bells shaped butt...what does that even mean?"

He began to walk away again. Suddenly he wasn't the intimidating uptight jerk I was talking to some minutes ago. He turned around, pacing back and forth then stops to look at me his muscles relaxed,he was embarrassed--- or nervous, maybe both. Whatever it was I had fucked up big time.

The smell of caffeine reminded me of my childhood. Dad would come by my room at night with cup of coffee to stop me from sleeping in order read.He says I was going to continue the family business and I need to know how finance ,so I studied fiance. I remember the stream fogging up the windscreen glass as he drove me to school,my motion completely reliant on my five hours of sleep.

I pulled out my gray trouser from the locker and change into them. I stared at the slightly noticable stain of cream on my black trouser. She definitely spilled it on purpose,ever since my breakup with Ashley in December,it has been going on around here like this.

My mind eguled with thought of Calla,the fashion girl I had stormed out the office from. She had a spark in her eye,the kind that made you feel like you've known someone for years beyond imaginable. Her soul was comforting yet ,threatening.

Maybe I overreacted. To be fair,Dad would have done that. Dad said you have to command respect to be taken seriously.It was rude to zone out in the middle of an important meeting,he would have been proud of me for handling business. However,I couldn't shake the feeling of the look in her eyes when she said she was sorry.

I took a glance at my watch and walked into the male bathroom, when I heard an aggressive footsteps walk in, followed by a violent cry. It sounded like a distant roar,It felt suppressed.

I wanted to walk out when I heard another woman walk in. They sounded like the women from the office some minutes ago. I was curious to know what happened but instead I stood there in silence and waited. Their conversations pierced me. Her mum's sick. The other woman comforted her, my chest felt heavy standing still in the stall . What brutal way to die waiting in a bathroom stall. They began to talk about me,they didn't have nice things to say and it hurts, knowing I had added to someone's pain.

A few seconds later,the room echoes with chuckles from both women. I wanted to walk out but Instead I stood, I was cut in a box, I was the only enemy here. Their chuckles died out and i heard one of the women walk out. My feet still frozen,as I mentally debated my next move. I finally decided and walked out.

I watched her, standing by the mirror drying her face and fixing up her makeup. I went up the the sink beside her and washed my hands. I didn't know what to say. Her face flushed as she recognizes me. So I decided to make a joke instead. I showed her my hands, held her arms and told her how it was coffee spill on my trouser that made my hands stinky. Her eyes dropped down to my crotch area. My chest lifted,I shouldn't be having thought like this...but my eyes fell on the top of her head, tracing her blond highlights down her neck.

She noticed her eyes had made me uncomfortable and felt more embarrassed. I paced back and forth trying to gather myself and figure out what to say. I leaned on the wall and my hands ran through my hair nervously.

"I'm sorry,I said those terrible things to you, please don't cancel this project. I was wrong but Julie don't deserve to be punished for this..." She began

"I'm not going to do that." I assured

"Butt..ttt,I thought "

"Look my dad has the power over that type of stuff.. okay?. I'm just here for the meeting." I said and for the first time that night,my shoulder tensed down. Around her,I didn't feel like I needed to put on an act. I found myself saying more than I should and I don't know if it's a good thing talking to a client like that.

Her eyes soften.

"I didn't mean to pry I swear,I wanted to come out but I didn't know what to do..." I continued. "I'm sorry about your mum...and also the office"

She walked closer to the wall I was leaning on and a little smirk appeared on her face. " Thank you." I smiled back. She walked back to the sink to pickup her purse.

"Let's make a deal" I said. Her attention sprung back to me. "I'd help you get this project done by getting my dad's final approval." I said.

She pickup up her bag and walked back to me. "...and?" She said looking up to me curiously.

"...and in return ,you make it a good one. I'd get my Dad's approval. We could work together."

"Okay...but why do you need my help with that. You're his son, couldn't you just ask him" she said, adjusting her hair from her face.

"He's not like other Dad's. He doesn't really...well, he's quite difficult to get through with" I said rubbing the back of my neck anxiously as my face turned hot.

She fiddle's with her bag staring back at me curiously. "Ohh-- you're serious?" She said in disbelief. "You're his only son... you're like thirty--"

"Twenty six actually " I replied

" So...it was an act,the whole boss thing you did in there?" Her voice went high pitch before melting into laughter. I watched her laugh,and I couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was. Her brown eyes were watery which made it look glossy and shiny. Her smile was warm and tender.

"Sorry...sorry... okay I'd stop" she said in-between laughs. "But I don't see how I'd be much of a help in this"

"He put me in charge of controlling the event and if it comes out well. He'd unsuspend my allowance "

"Why did he stop it though...and why ... forget,I'm being nosey." She wrap her hands over her chest and tilted her head a little. "Okay...deal." she said.

The corner of my lips held back before turning into a smile. She stretched forth her hands for a handshake and I smiled back at her " you sure, you want that again?" I shook her hands.

"Not sticky " she announced theatrical.

"Friends ?...Colleges?..." I said,my hands still attached to hers

"Toilet buddies" she replied smiling back.Our hands separated and she walks out, leaving me standing alone in the male restroom.

I took a look at the mirror and I knew I was in trouble. Whatever had just happened wasn't going back to normal.

The day ended quickly,I could barely pay attention without the thought of Calla coming back to me. Her brown hair ever radiant with blonde highlights smelled like vanilla essence. The carve of her neck flashes in my mind...our conversation replays in my mind, longing utterly to be around her again. To watch her smile,to listen to her witty remarks. I was curious of her and my curiosity has began to drive me insane.

Dad sent a plane to pick me up from the airport. It was the smallest of his private plane,painted in a ridiculous purple. It was previously owned by some Canadian pop star and he never bother to change the color because it was he thought it was a brilliant market strategy.

Mr Martin, Dad's Hired guard,who was more a babysitter for the most part of my life handed me an ipad of my schedule.The thing is,in my freshman year in college,I had gotten drunk at a frat party and a photo of me ended up online and dad completely lost his mind over it. This led to an even bigger stain on our relationship and worse,an eye on my every move.The curse of having highly influence parents. I took a look at the ipad and we were going to arrive New York by 6pm,which will leave me with two hours to get ready for dinner with my family.

Six hours later,the plane landed on New York. I checked in my hotel and waited for the inevitable.I took deep breaths, contemplating the worse of situations. The last time I saw dad,it ended in an engulfed flame of catastrophic disaster. I heard a knock on my door. Mum walked in as elegant as she is. Her long floral dress swayed with the air, matching her gold necklace perfectly.

"How are you baby" she said smiling and flinging her arms over me "it's almost like I never see you these days"

"Hi mum"

She pulled away, looking at me with sombre eyes "Baby,I just had to see you before dinner...oh.mmim so happy you're fine"

I said nothing. This wasn't the first time,I knew why she was here.

"Vino" she said my middle name. It was her open act of pursuance,to convince me to do something.

" you're dad is going to be around and he's already in a bad moody because of the warehouse getting burnt in los Angeles wildfire." she began.

"Maman, je suis écœuré. Il ne pense qu'à lui, il s'en fiche des autres"(Mama,I am tired of it. He doesn't care about anyone but himself.)

"Vino Mômo,I'm not here to fight...I just don't want you and your father getting into an argument tonight" she said wearily

I turned,looking away from her.

"Vino-" she said before turning around and walking out of the room.

I went in the shower,got dressed and made my way to the dinner. I walked into the room,I adjusted my black tie and walked in. My sister Vinora, smiled at me as I walked it. She was four years older than I am but looked even more mature since she got married last year. She wore a black gown. It was our little to play with colors. Whenever we had dinner with dad,we wore black . I walked up the the seat beside her and sat down,we greeted each out with our eyes. The room was very quiet. Mum walked in shortly,her heels beating the earth with ever step she took. The only sound made in the room.

" Bonjour " she said. We sat and waited. Two mins later,Dad walker it. We all stood to acknowledge him. He sat,then we sat back down. Food was served. The sound of utensils on plate,and melody of Myléne Farmer playing softly from the speaker. It was Dad's favorite songs of her from the 90's called Désenchantée.

"Alors Vinora, comment vont les affaires de Paul?" (Vinora , how's Paul's business going?)

"Ça va bien Papa" (it's going well Papa)

I look across mum,who bated an eye at me, fidgeting the napkin by her side.

"Hmmm..." He responded nonchalantly, knifing his meal in full concentration."James, comment avance le projet de promotion ?"(James,how's the promotion project coming?)

I revert the fork of food coming to my mouth and replied "it's fine" I said, swallowing the remains in my mouth.

He drop his fork and knife ,which led to a loud bang on the ceramic in the table and looked at me "well what's it about?"

"C'est une mode qui allie élégance contemporaine et inspiration vinicole Renault"(it's fashion, that brings modern fashion inspired by Renault Wine.)

"La mode, c'est de l'argent jeté par les fenêtres" (Fashion is money thrown out the window)

" it would be great,it would draw in a list American celebrities to gain attention to us. Renult is only popular in Europe. We can gain connections to supply for big awards..." I said

An expression of dissatisfaction was scattered on his face. He wasn't just disappointed,it was angry. "Do you know how much we lost in the LA fire? Not popular in the US?"

My father had never been a the type of person to please or satisfy. I watched it play in a million scenarios. One time,when Vinora got straight A's ,she was the smartest in the house but he took her results and toss it in the drawer. I didn't say a thing. I've seen it in his marriage with mum. Even though she's way out of his league,he still acted like he was doing her a favor. I've seen it with me,I always see it with me and I was getting sick of it. I murmured under my breath angrily.

"Please don't be angry. I think I'd be a good idea.." my mum gentility fought to harness the chaos to come. She knew how to soothe his ego. Even when they fight she'd still plea and even though i try to step in, Mum will push me away. She placed her left hands on his in a gesture to calm him down.

"Yes papa, Celebrities like Bradley cooper will come,this can create endorsement deals papa" Vioner continued, trying to lessen the hight of his anger.

His face was cold and his eyes were deam as usual. A loud irritated noise erupted the room,he was annoyed.

"The boy have a mouth. Stop talking up behalf of him " he said, pushing mum's hand that was relaxing on his. She hit the glass cup by beside her and it shattered in a million pieces on the floor.

A cleaner came running to clean the particles of shattered glass in the floor. The whole room is tensed. Dad kept going on at the top of his voice. Vioner looked frightened, her face was red and her eyes widens staring at mum. Mum sat quiet as dad continued to raise his voice at her.

"Shut up Beau... He should be a man. I didn't have any of this growing up,I had to struggle for it and he sits there like a spilot brat"

He got up from his chair and stormed off. On getting to the door,a piece to his coat got caught in the door handle, almost pulling him down to the floor. Nobody moved,until he had left the room. Mum followed after him, walking fast enough to catch up with him.

I tuned back to look at Vinora,who sided eyed me before we both began to laugh. I realized I had been holding my fork steady while the whole eruption happened. So I went back to eaten and so did Vioner.

"He's been hitting her again" Vioner said. The room got more quiet . "She called crying last week after the LA fire." she let her fork drop and nervously looked at me again. "The glass cut her"

"What?"

"She was bleeding...I don't know why she puts up with him." I couldn't tell if she was scared or angry but whatever she felt,I felt just as much.

I watched through the glass door of my office as James stood across from Julie's office which had a good sight as it was opposite to mine. He held a can of soda. He head turned to my direction,he waves at me and I smiled in return. Julie's yellow jacket stood out at the corner of my eyes, distracting. She was backing my office and I couldn't stop looking back in their direction.

She had a key holder on her hand which she dwindles carelessly while her hands moved scattered around, describing whatever it was they were talking about. Julie was fond of that. Whatever they were talking about,if was thrilling for her. Even though I couldn't see her face,I could tell a big smile was spread from both of her ears.

The first time I noticed was when I came to Halt Fashion as an intern five years ago. I began my job as a Vogue writer for fashion trends,but she eventually promoted me to become one of the creatives,when she came across my drawing book. Her creative vision has since changed my life and became a backbone of this business to thrive.

I looked back on the drawings on the table as I arranged colours for color readjustments and every time I looked up,there he was, standing beside her. He always looked back,almost like he was expecting me to look ,It had become an unspoken rule between us. Staring with out saying much.

During lunch,I took to the roof to get some fresh air. I stood by the balcony as my eyes wonders down the road. The street was quiet, nothing interesting ever happens in this side of town. I sat by a platform, taking up the view.

I turned back only to see James walking over to me. He sat beside me and opened a can of soda, similar to the one he held earlier. He pulled out a box of cigarettes and lit it up. He offered it to me and I shared my head in disgust.

"You know,that stuffs gonna kill you" I said turning back to face another direction as the smoke inhaled into my lungs. He shrugged and smirked. I stood up and moved to the edge of the balcony again.

He threw his cigarette down and stepped on it. "I assume you don't like the smell" he said sarcastically. He walks over to me and stood beside me. "I haven't had one of these in two years" he said smiling.

"What's up with you?" I said.

"What do you mean?" He replied purposely keeping his self distracted.

"Usually people run back to the past to seek comfort when the present becomes too shitty" I said, trying to open my can of drink.

He waved it off , collecting the can from my hands and popping it open. He hands it back to me and placed his finger in my hairpin. I quivered, completely taken over by his random bravery. My face flushed as his hands came to my hair and moved away immediately.

"That's distracting" his voice sounds husky.

"Ermmm... okay?" I said confused. It was a small butterfly hair pin, barely visible,not dramatic enough to be distracting or whatever.

I knew it from the playful grin on his lips,he was going to tease me. Something about the conversation from the bathroom had made us comfortable with each other. While he walked around the office and everyone treated him like a boss and the heir of a power billionaire. To him,he knew I saw through all that.

"Calla Grayson were you expecting a kiss?" He quipped with a mischievous grin. He pulls out a dry leaf stick from him hands and showed it me."It was stuck on your hair?" He said , throwing it and looking sheepishly.

"Ha-ha" I said sarcastically. I tossed his hands away and took a sip from my juice. Suddenly I felt unstable and I didn't want to feel like the teenager girl who got turned down. So I blurted out "I really don't understand why you'd take something that'd destroy your health" The same stupid smirk was plastered on his face.

"Woah"

"Yeahh..my mum's sick from that!" I snapped back, rolling my eyes.

" I'm sorry "

This reminded me of when I was in middle school and mum was constantly smoking. I had come home one day to tell her how we were taught that it was bad for ones health and but she shoved it aside.

It got silent,we both stood quietly as million thoughts ran through my head. It wasn't my place to tell him not to smoke. I could feel the tension. We've barely had a conversation without apologies thrown around because we simply make it easy to piss each other off.

"I met my dad ...it was actually a family business dinner " he began. His accent a little lost when he spoke. " We had a fight...thas why I've been a little off."

"I'm sorry,if wasn't my place to ask...it wasn't my business. I just feel like between us, it's always an apology "

"And so what?..." He said laughing. "You're obviously very annoying and you get on my nerves and I'm not exactly the least most arrogant person around...that's just us. We argue and we apologize."

"We barely know each other,we met like...a week ago" I said in disbelief. "We don't know each other."

"My God!,I want to know you then...I don't know if you've noticed,I like talking to you and I think you like talking to me too" he said. He's so arrogant and full of himself.

"That's..that's not true" I denied.

"You're not very slick when you stare" he chuckled "I want to know more things,you have the craziest lore and I want to know more." he finishes,his voice less audible,more soft.

"I'm not your entertainment" I said defensive.

"I never said you were." He still has the sheepy grin spread on his face.

I paused.

"You're insane..." I said..."okay"

"How did you know you wanted to do this?... have you always known you'd get into fashion"

"I want to be writer,then a nurse. At some point I wanted to be an actress. I'd stay up all night watching the red carpet waiting for Uman Truman. She had the most beautiful dress,I wanted to be able to design that. When we moved into our house,mum got me a machine--" I began to feel aware of my voice echoing so much words.

"See..." He gave me the i-told-you look,still smiling. I smiled, feeling more comfortable,so I continued.

"Well...I knew collage was out of the picture for me, I began to learn how to sew. I'd draw my own designs and I make them..." I said, recalling back before dad left to start a new family elsewhere. Mum had to take up a load because we couldn't afford the rent anymore. She fell into depression began to drink. On most nights we'd have to starve to eat and mum began spending so much on.

"...this one just felt right." I finished. James full concentration on me,like he was reading subtitles on my face when I spoke.

"What about you?" I said, clearing my throat nervously.

"I don't really know... I'm 25years old and I don't know. I've never been allowed to decide all my life." His hands waved off in the air, holding no emotion I could read.

"You'd know..." I said.

A sense of comfortable silence befalls us as we stared out into the sky. My heart pounded in my chest. James Renault wasn't just the hot trust fund guy anymore,he was...

My stomach twisted in knots with conflicting emotions of excitement and doubts. I could feel his eyes sneaking glances at me, I turned around the fifth time to catch me, staring at me hopeless. I feared the lust in his eyes were becoming more than I thought all along. His desperate plea and longing in his eyes pierced through my skin, leaving me standing...my knees weak.

He watches me earnestly, waiting for my approval. His wasn't turning away anymore rather his eyes fell to my lips,then my eyes again. In all this,I stood frozen,my eyes locked to his, letting him give in to his sinful thought as his eyes wanders around my face...then my neck,no brace enough to fix his gaze lower than my neck. My breath tickles my throat.

His looks back at me again. This time, almost like he had woken up from a trance, like he hadn't stood face to face mentally spiralling in his thoughts of me in his head. I pulled back, brushing my hair roughly with my fingers. He took a step back,flushed with embarrassment.

"Woah...what was that?" I said awkwardly... frightened. He didn't say anything, instead he looked like he wanted to puke. He avoid my eyes and stared at the ground. The same eyes he had looked through a few seconds ago. I watched him retreating back and leaning away slightly

"Ohh" he mutters ,he lingers for a few seconds,not wanting to leave immediately.

"Ohh?" I repeated , neither of us could deny the awkward tinge that hung in the air,but I want to hear him say more. More than the stupid sound that he did. I wanted him to stop teasing me. But instead,he looked about uncomfortable. I took this as my cue to leave,and I let my legs spin around and began to walk away , before my other foot took another step. I felt a struggle and his grip pulled me close to him.

His face buried into my neck,he didn't touch me. Just few inches to my skin,I felt his hot breath borrowing under my skin

"Can I...?" He whisper daringly. I lost control of myself as my headed knotted. His lips pressed to my neck as he leaves soft hickes tracing his way to nibble my earlobe. I felt my heart racing as every touch felt like a work of art; like cold ice on skin after a sunny day. A silent moan escaped my lips.

"You smells so nice...'' he mutters softly...he was teasing me and I hated him for it. I want him to kiss me. I wanted to know the taste of the tongue that teased me but he didn't leave my neck. His left hand was placed on my back and his right hand still held the can of soda.

A loud noise came from the stairwell that lead to the rooftop, James pulled back and I pulled away swiftly. I looked back at him and he didn't look uncomfortable,he looked hurt . Everything was happening so fast. I looked to where we heard the noise as, Ravi,the new intern began to pickup the mannequin rolling down the stairs. He was backing us so he couldn't have seen us.

I looked back at James again who now looks embarrassed,I took to my heels and walked quickly away back to my office , almost tripping on the mannequin head on the stires.