Wild Desire

It was raining heavily in June, and I'm sitting here with a lot of impressions, and thinking about possible ways I can move out from California to further my education. For as long as I can remember, I have been obsessed with two things, which I have nursed since I was young: becoming a graduate, and living in Los Angeles.

As I grew older, the likelihood of my dreams coming true continued to diminish, and by the time I got into high school, the reality was staring me right in my face so harshly that I could almost hear its wicked laughter.

The life I foreknow was truly not as easy as I thought it would be. I'm done with my high school education and my parents could not afford to send me to a new college in Los Angeles. The tuition fees and cost of living were beyond their budget. So even though I was one of the best in my class, my academic future seemed bleak due to the financial limitations of my parents.

I have lived in California all through my life and have grown tired of seeking a new pilgrimage. There a is smallness that chokes me, the fact that every day is the same scares me; I can not bear the thought of such a depressing, for almost 20 years, I have been dreaming of escaping from California to a place where I can spread my wings and soar like eagle, where I would be able to express myself and become the woman I'm meant to be.

Honestly, I can't wrap my head around the fact that I might end up as a tailor if I don't find my path out by myself. That will be the death of all my imaginations, hopes, and aspirations. my hard work and sacrifices will be in vain, and my excellent outcomes would become worthless, I can see tears stinging my eyes just as a thought. There has to be a way. I must go to Los Angeles and I must get a college degree.

I have been speculating on someone who can help me in any possible way. I have no rich auntie or uncle to whom I can flee for support. My friend Andrea is the only one I know that can help me financially. I can't tell how rich she is, but she has since become successful. Andrea is two years older than I am.

She recently celebrated her 21 birthday at the Westin Bonaventure tavern and suites. She has been shuttling between Los Angeles and California for about 3year. Every time she goes and returns, she appears richer and even more beautiful.

Her lifestyle and influence constantly have been wagging for two years, she has opened two boutiques here in California, and everybody knows the money didn't come from her parents because they cannot afford such superfluity. Yet, no one knows what Andrea did to get all this money.

At one point, I was interested in speculation and the source of her money. I need help, and I Think That she will be able to help me at this breaking point.

I should have a heart-to-heart conversation with her. I sent Andrea a"please call me "text. I rarely have airtime on my phone, even when I did, it was rarely sufficient for calls. So I sent her an SMS hoping that she would respond, and I waited patiently. It was only a few minutes, but it was the longest wait of my life. Even though I was expecting it, I jumped to my feet at the sound of an incoming call.

"Hello," I said as soon as I answered the call.

What's up? I got ur-text message," Andrea replied.

Noting much babe, just chilling, please, I need to see you urgently."

"I hope it's nothing serious. I'm at the bouquet right now, so you should come over," She said.

"Ok," I'll be there shortly".

Hope climbed through my whole being as I hung up and I was somewhat relieved. Not only did she call back, but she also sounded open to hearing whatever I had to say.

I quickly went through my set of unpleasant, worn-out clothes I had brought as second hand. I didn't have anything nice to wear, my hair was so unkempt. Even though I was going to ask for assistance, I knew she might help me.

To be honest, we were not the closest of friends because my parents never liked her in the first place. They felt she was growing up too fast, as she always acted older than her age. Nonetheless, their opinions did not matter to me at this point.

A tangible education is the best thing parents can give their child, and my parents couldn't afford that. Thinking about the situation got me upset and I have to take a deep breath to compose myself. I reminded myself there was no use in getting annoyed and all worked up over what I could not change.

It was better to focus on finding a way out. I looked through my clothes one more time and decided on a pair of jeans and a white shirt. I pulled my hair into a bun, I laid my edges. put on a little make, and hit the road; I wish I could take a taxi but I just had only $100 in my purse so I have to take a cab to Andrea's bouquet.

She was attending to the customer when I arrived, so I took the chair closest to me and waited, grateful for the air conditioning after enduring scorching sun all through the ride on the cab.

l watched Andrea as she gestured in conversation with her customer. Her hair, her outfit, her manicured nails, the beautiful jewelry that adorned her fingers and wrists, the perfect makeup, and her glowing skin instantly fueled my hunger for a better future.

I knew I was fashionable, but I had no money to flex or to make myself look good. I quickly looked around the boutiques, all the clothes there were brand new and obsessive, I wanted it all.

Hey girl,

"I said, standing up as she walked towards me.

"You are always looking beautiful, see how fresh your skin is."

"Stop whining about me being," she said, laughing and leading me to a private corner with a desk that had leather chairs on both sides. She took her seat and pointed to one of the chairs opposite her. She turned to her left, took out a bottle of malt and a glass cup from the small fridge beside her, and filled my glass with a drink."

Whatsapp you sounded very strange over the phone," she said, placing drinks in front of me.

The glass was frosted immediately, which means the drink would be refreshingly cold, but I wasn't there for that. Ignore it and lean towards her.

"Andrea, thank you I will drink later, please I need to get out of here and move to Los Angeles.

Things are not moving smoothly over there, my parents barely managed to see me through my high school education, and even though I passed with flying colors, it looks like I will be stuck here without achieving my dreams. and I can't allow that to happen. I won't sit in this town with my parents while life passes me by, please help me. I'm willing to do absolutely anything to make my dream come true.

Andrea, can you imagine? After all the effort I put in getting good results Being in that house, watching my parents with zero ambition is killing me. I need to leave this place by any means possible, please. I need to find a way to get to Los Angeles, make some money and further my education. you are the only person who I know can help me out, I have no wealthy relatives I can ask for help. Please help me."

As I gushed about my struggles and frustration, Andrea listened to me with a pity face. When finished she sighed

deeply.

Maddison, I know everyone thinks I'm a prostitute, that sells my body for financial favors," she said, looking into my eye. Don't even try to deny it, I know that is popular morality. I have heard the rumors and all the side talks. people look at me, my boutique, my car, and the little luxury I have been able to achieve, and the only conclusion they came up with is that I sell my body for money. Maddison the truth is that I don't.

I remained silent as she leaned forward, bringing her expression closer to burrow. Everybody knew that she achieved her wealth through runs and frankly if I had to sell my pussy to get out of my situation, I was willing to do just that.

I met a guy, a white man in his 40s, "she said. He took a liking to me and decided to change my life. All I have to do is to be his collaborator and that is how things turn around for me."

I didn't believe a word she said but that wasn't my business at the point. "Andrea please, how can you help me?"

Andrea picked up her phone and excused herself. "Let me make a call and I will get back to you." She was on the phone for about 20 minutes. I could not read her lips but I did hope that something positive will be the outcome of it. Finally, she ended her conversation over her phone and walked back to me.

"So I called my friend and he wanted to meet you." She scanned me with her eye from my head to foot and frowned slightly. "This your hair and clothes look somehow sha."

"meet me?" I asked. " What does that have to do with me getting to Los Angeles?"

"Don't worry, he will help you. just do what he says."

"Okay, when do I have to meet him?"

"He is a very busy man but he said Saturday will be dressed, picked two dresses from that rack and tried them on. I will lend you my black wig too," Andrea said.

"Thank you but I don't have any money to pay for these dresses, "she said.

"Don't worry I am not selling them to you. consider them as gifts from me. When you get there, be well-mannered and act classy. And don't tell him your real age," she added, "Got that?"

"Yes. I'm so grateful to Andrea, but I hope that I will not do anything that I don't want to do?"

"Are you accusing me of being a pimp?

Abeg, I'm just helping you. What I am doing is giving you a connection. what you do with it is your own choice."

"Oh Okay, thank you very much. God bless you. So, this is your friend....

His name is Xander, "she cut in. He is an older guy in his 40s, not from here, he just lives here because he works with a multinational here.

I will text you the time and place of the meeting, as well as his number. Finish your drink and come and choose your dresses,

"She said.

After looking at all the gorgeous dresses on display, I picked two beautiful ones.

"Thank you so much, Andrea, "I said as she wrapped up the black wig with two dresses and handed the bag to me.

"You are welcome, my dear. "She counted $ 500 notes, placed them in an envelope, and handed it over to me. "When going to see Xander on Saturday, please take a cab and not a bike."At that, we could not help but burst into laughter.

I arrived home tired and hungry, as common, no one in the house had prepared any food. Everyone was waiting for me to handle the chores. My sixteen years old twin siblings, Michael and Martha, were sitting in the dining room doing their homework. As soon as I walked in, the demands began.

Sister Maddison, please help me with my homework."

Sister Maddison, I'm hungry, we haven't eaten anything."

Sister..."

This is the story of my life, day in and day out. I have become a glorified house girl in my own home, and my parents have no desire to see my parent status change. I honestly can't wait for Saturday. I'm hopeful things will go well. I can't wait, at last, my dream of going to Los Angeles will become a reality.

Chapter Two

I do not understand how my parents live so comfortably in mediocrity. Mum is content with the peanut she makes from her little provision store. My dad seems to be comfortable with his job as a civil servant that can barely pay our loan bills. Sometimes, the government delayed his salary, and the family suffered dearly for it.

I cannot count how times I had been sent home from school over a delay in the payment of school fees, so it wasn't much of a surprise to see my younger sister and brother walk in by 10:00 a.m on a school day. Martha was in tears but I already knew her answer, but I asked anyway.

"Michael, Why are you both home at this time? And why is Martha crying?"

"The school sent us home because our school fees haven't been paid," he replied.

"Sisters, they asked us not to come back," Martha said as tears kept flowing down her face because we own every term. They embarrassed us in front of the class." I pulled her close and hugged her.

"Please, stop crying. Don't worry, when dad comes back, we will sort it out."

I felt very bad because I knew he must have been for them. I endured the same humiliation as a student, and in most moments, I cried myself to sleep for many nights.

I had to figure out a way to make my younger ones happy. Out of the $500, Andrea gave me to pick a cab on Saturday, I had already spent $100 on a pair of sandals, and $100 on matching panties and bra. None of my worn shoes match the dresses Andrea gave me, and I was ashamed to ask her for sandals after she had given me money, dresses, and a lent wig. I needed decent lingerie just in case something happened to Mr. Xander.

I figured that the best thing to do for my siblings is to buy ice cream and donuts. That would make them feel better. I thought that the fast food place was just around the filling station, about 10 minutes away. If I spend $100 out of the $300 remaining will be left with $200 which will not be enough for a cab to Macdonald's.

I knew Andrea wouldn't be happy with me squeezing into a shared taxi to see Mr. Xander but at that point, I didn't think I had a choice. It was my duty to make my younger brother and sister happy. My heart was so sad and my head was filled with thoughts of making it in life, earning good money, taking good care of them, and being a good role model to them.

"Michael! Martha! go and take your bath. Put on something nice we are going to eat right away,"

"Sister with which of the money?" Martha asked.

"Don't ask questions, just do as I say.

They put on the best they had, which were their " Christmas clothes" as California would say, and their mood lightened up a bit. We joined a taxi to the eatery and when we arrived, the waitress pointed to the corner so we could sit. "What would you like me to do?" She asked.

Two donuts and a mini bowl of vanilla ice cream please, " I answered.

"Sister, please I want chocolate ice cream, I don't like vanilla," Michael said.

"Ok, chocolate it is then," I said, turning to the waitress.

"What about your ma, what would you like to have?" She asked, looking directly at me.

"Nothing, I'm OK. Please, what is the total cost?"$200," she said. I was taken aback.

"Ah, for two donuts, and one bowl of ice cream? How come?"

"Our Price was recently reviewed ma,

This was way above my budget. If I had come alone, I would have picked up my purse and left quietly, but took a taking look at the eager faces in front of me. I knew there was nothing I could do but succumb.

"Okey reserves have them please," I said.

I was upset at myself for spending what I bargained for, but I wanted to do anything possible to make the Twins happy. The snacks arrived and their faces brightened up. I was happy that I made a difference, albeit in a small way. They ate slowly and chatted about their classmates. They were very concerned about whether anyone would still want to be their frifrienden they got back to school, and I thought that was so sad.

"Listen, real friends would change because of mere school fees. Anyone who stopped being your friend because you were sent home over school fees was not truly your friend in the first place. You understand?" They nodded their heads in agreement.

"It's getting late, finished up, let's go home".

"Ok sister," Martha said.

Mum and dad were already home when we returned.

" Where are you people coming from?" they asked in unison.

My siblings turned to me, not sure what answer to give.

I quickly replied that they were sent home because they hadn't paid their school fees, they were even asked not to come back because it happened every term. Martha came back home crying so I decided we should go out for fresh air to cheer them up."

On a good day, my parents would have probed further, wanting to know where exactly we went, but the news about the school fee was too disheartening, which prompted them not to push further with more questions. They looked at each other in disappointment, then my dad his throat.

"We will figure out a way for both of you to return to school next week, Ok?" My father said,

The Twins nodded, while I looked irritated. The same old line I had heard every time I was sent home over school fees, we will figure out a way. It usually means I will spend a week out of school, then return to at least two weeks of struggling to catch up and begging my classmates for their notebooks so I could stay up late copying the notes from the classes I missed. Tears stung my eyes at the memory.

Dad was a man of few words. To many, it was an admirable quality but to me, it was the opposite, because it went hand to hand with his laidback attitude to life which my very soul despised. Why couldn't he just make an effort to get more out of life than to be stuck on a spot?

"Maddison, please, you will coach your younger ones in the meantime, So they don't stay idle. By God's grace, they will be in school next week," my mother said.

"Ok Mummy, I will, "I agreed without hesitation. I would possibly do anything to help my siblings.

"I bought a form for you, "she said, handing me a brown envelope.

I looked at her smiling face as I took the envelope, trying to imagine what she was so pleased about. I took out the form and it was an application form for a tailoring course.

Mentally, my eyes rolled into the back of my head, but I plastered a fake smile on my face. I didn't want to burst her bubble at that moment since there were more pressing issues at hand. I remained calm.

"Thank you, mummy," I said and walked away to my room.

I could think of nothing but Saturday.

Chapter three

Saturday arrived sooner than I expected.

Andrea already sent me a text with the address of the restaurant in Macdonald's where I will be meeting with Xander at 4 p.m. I told my parents that I was going to a friend's birthday party. They consented with hesitation and asked that I returned on or before 9 p.m. I wasn't surprised that they let me out without asking too many questions as they usually did. The situation of the school fees is weighing heavily on their mind, amongst the many other challenges they already had to deal with, poverty can be such a bitch.

It ripped them off to th6eir thoughts. I carefully applied my makeup and slipped into one of the dresses Andrea gave to me and put on my new sandals. They look as cheap as they were, but they would have to. The wig Andrea lent me was so long, silky, and curly, and I knew it had cost her a lot of money.

Running my fingers through it, I wonder when I will be able to get away. I was looking stunning. I stared at myself, amazed at the transformation a gorgeous wig and elegant dress could bring about. Into a life of struggle, I thought as I lingered at the mirror, then I picked up my purse and headed out.

Since I had spent $400 on lingering and cheering Martha and Michael up, I was left with $100. I have to take several taxis and walk the rest on the way to the restaurant.

Andrea will not be pleased, but then, she will never find out. I got to the restaurant and I followed the instructions Mr. Xander had left for me. He had sent me a text

message earlier that he would be about fifteen minutes late but he had already booked a table for us. All I have to do is to give my name to the waitress, sit tight and wait for him to arrive. I followed his instructions and did as I was told.

"First time here ma'am?" The waitress asked me.

"Yes..." I replied.

"Would you like to order or wait?"

"I would like to wait, but please can I have water?" I have become thirty while hopping from one taxi to another, I was dehydrated.

"Room temperature?" She inquired.

"Yes," I retorted.

I glance around me. Everyone looks so sophisticated and coordinated. The waitress returned with my water and I quickly gulped down the content down my throat, then leaned back in my chair and waited patiently. It wasn't long before a handsome man walked up to me.

"Are you Maddison?" Yes, "I said.

To be honest, he was not what I imagined.

I expected someone old and ugly, and I had prepared my mind to endure his company and whatever else he needed just so I could achieve my dream, but the man standing right before me was the complete opposite of my thoughts. Andrea said he was in his 40s, but he looked younger and dressed in a fitted black suit.

His nice full beard and neat haircut enhance his youthful good even more. I was happy with his physical appearance as he was better than average. That gave me the pressure of hope.

"Hi. Why didn't you order anything?" he asked as he took his seat, his eyes never leaving my face.

"I was waiting for u .good afternoon, Mr. Xander."

"Please call me Xander."

"Ok. Nice meeting you, Xander," I said, trying it out. It felt strange calling him by his first name. After all, he was at least 20

years older than me, and we barely know each other, neither were we friends.

"You are looking very young. And naive. Not what I expected at all. So tell me, how old are you?"

I didn't forget that Andrea told me a lie about my age, but what was the point of lying? The truth will eventually come out someday, so why not tell me from the start?

"I'm 19 years old, sir."

"You are young, too young. You shouldn't be here, where are your parents?" They are at home."

"Do you even know why you are here?"

"No sir."

"A naive Little girl, all right. Well, you are too young for me, and honestly, don't have the time or energy for the childishness and drama that would come dealing with someone of your age. Here is what is going to happen. Well have a nice meal, you are going home, and you have to lose my number. Ok?"

I was so intimidated by his confidence that I simply nodded, unable to say anything in my defense. At that point, I realized that I had sabotaged myself by telling the truth. It was unnecessary. I should have listened to Andrea.

He beckoned to the waiter and ordered fried rice, chicken, Moi Moi, and salad.

"What will you have?" He asked me.

"Same," I said, feeling smaller and smaller by the minute. I lost confidence.

We talked over lunch. He talked and I listened, speaking only when I had questions. I said nothing about myself. I found out that he was a divorcee, and that he and his ex-wife had no children together. He worked for an oil company, spending two weeks on the rig in California, and his two weeks off in Los Angeles where he owned a home. He didn't have many friends, and he went on vacation twice a year.

Listening to him, I concluded that he was a hardworking man who had a lot to say. I could see that he needed company. Unfortunately, I had blown my one chance at escaping my life in California and embracing a promising new life in Los Angeles, which I had always dreamed of. What would I tell Andrea? Who would help me now?

I will get a cab now."

His voice snapped me out of my thoughts. He was on his feet already. Our date was over.

"Here, " he said, handing me a bundle of $100 notes. That is $1000. Take care of yourself, and never call me again. You understand?"

"Yes. Thank you very much, Mr. Xander."

"I asked you to call me Xander," he said as he walked towards the reception." Anyway, it doesn't matter."

He was right. It didn't matter. I would never see him again. Tears threatened to embarrass me, and I blinked them back furiously. The last thing I needed was his view of me as a "little girl". I Had to admit everything slides.

He stopped a cab outside the restaurant, I got in without saying anything.

"Be careful, "he said softly and the truth ended back toward the restaurants.

As I watched him retreat, I finally let the tears I had been holding back.

"Sister, where are we going?" The cabman asked.

I sniffed and wiped myself with the back of my hand.

Macdonald the Macdonald's, I continued to lament the way I fucked up and how I will never going to leave California because I messed up following simple and e instructions and not telling him my real age.

If I could get this amount of money from him when we had nothing, how much could I get if we are together? I decided to obey his rules a week before calling him. I could convince him to help me. Probably, when he gets to hear my plans for school and life, he might think about me.

He would say yes, or he would probably say no.