Why does love feels so uncomfortable

There are two sides to every coin-the head and the tail. In this world, you're only allowed to choose one. But every time I choose, I end up with the tail. The pain is unbearable. It hurts so much that I feel suffocated by what people call "love." Why does it feel like I'm cursed when it comes to love? Sometimes, I think I must have offended my ancestors in a past life, and this is my punishment.

"Lara, what are you doing inside? Dinner is ready," my mom called from outside.

I sluggishly got up from my bed and slipped my feet into my slippers. I looked dejected and worn out-as though life had drained every good thing out of me. I was broken into pieces.

At the dining table, everyone was chatting happily, as if everything was perfectly fine. I sat in silence, alone with my pain. Honestly, it's terrifying. It feels like the world is spinning, but I'm stuck in place. I joined them, pretending everything was okay, hiding my sadness so well that nobody noticed. I didn't want to ruin their happy moment. Their excitement was loud and blinding-so much so that no one saw that I barely touched my food.

After dinner, I quietly returned to my room. Tears welled up in my eyes. I clutched my chest with one hand and covered my mouth with the other, stifling my sobs. I didn't want anyone to hear me cry. I cried bitterly until my tears refused to fall. My eyes turned red and swollen.

Then my phone rang.

It was Lydia-my best friend. I answered with trembling hands. Her voice echoed through the speaker; she was at a bar, and it was noisy in the background. I envied her. Everything seemed to be going well in her life, while I had just endured three heartbreaks back-to-back, with no time to breathe in between. I honestly began to believe I wasn't good enough-that maybe I needed a break from everything.

Lydia's voice snapped me back to reality.

"Are you free tonight?"

The noise made it hard to hear, but I made out her words.

"No, Lydia. I'm busy. Maybe some other time," I said flatly. But deep down, I wanted to go. I wanted to drink all my sorrow away. I just needed a little push.

"Please, babe," she said, "I promise you won't regret it. You've been locking yourself away for three weeks now. Why are you hurting yourself? Just come out already."

She was right. How long was I going to stay like this? Tomson had moved on. Why couldn't I? Why did it still hurt so much? I caught him cheating, and yet he stood in front of everyone and declared I was just his plaything. It hurt so much-but what could I do?

"I'll be there," I finally said.

"Thank you, buddy!" she said excitedly and hung up.

I exhaled and stood up. I picked out my red dress-it stopped just at my knees. I let my hair down, brushed it until it flowed freely, and applied a bit of makeup to hide the dark circles under my eyes. I slipped into my white sneakers and headed out.

Downstairs, I saw my mom and younger brother talking excitedly. Ever since my brother got into Oxford University on a scholarship, my parents barely paid attention to me. I'd become a ghost in the house-a shadow. Sometimes, I even questioned my own existence.

I watched them laughing as I descended the stairs.

"Mom," I said.

She turned to me with a smile, but it quickly vanished the moment she saw me. It was awkward, but I was used to it by now.

"I'm heading out," I said.

She just nodded without saying a word.

These past few days, everything has been overwhelming. Sometimes I wonder if anyone would even notice if I disappeared. I stepped out and gently closed the door behind me.

When I got to the clubhouse, the whole place was jam-packed. The music was too loud, but I finally breathed a sigh of relief. Oh my, it's been a while. At least I'll find a moment to release all this stress.

I managed to communicate with Lydia-she came out to pick me, and we entered the VIP section together. It was quiet and cozy, with only a few people inside. The atmosphere was comfortable. Lydia hugged me tightly as we sat down.

"I knew you'd make it through. You're beautiful, Lara. Don't let those fools deceive you. You hear me?"

"Let's order drinks," she added.

She placed the order, and I watched her closely. How come she's the only one who truly understands me?

When the waiter brought the wine, I didn't even let him pour it into a glass. I grabbed the bottle and gulped it down.

Lydia was stunned. "Slow down, Lara! You'll choke."

But I didn't stop. I finished the whole bottle, and my head began to spin. The music blended into a rhythm I couldn't understand. I ordered more. Drank more. Lydia tried to stop me, but I wouldn't budge.

"I'm tired of this freaking life!" I shouted.

The next morning, I woke up on a soft bed-too comfortable to be mine. I didn't even bother to check my surroundings. I just wanted to sleep forever. But then... my eyes fluttered open.

Memories from the night before crashed into my head.

I had entered a stranger's house. Vomited on his clothes. "Oh no."

While I was still trying to make sense of everything, a deep voice pierced the silence.

"I'm sure you slept well."

I froze. My body turned into a statue. That wasn't my room.

"Are you mute now? Too bad. I remember you gave me your shoes to wash... and even started stripping-"

"Stop!" I screamed. "Stop all these embarrassing jokes."

"How much is it... per night?" I asked, still refusing to look at him.

"Two million dollars," he replied calmly.

I turned around immediately.

There he was-a well-built young man, seated elegantly.

There he was-a well-built young man, seated elegantly. His tousled hair barely covered his chiseled face, his shirt open to reveal solid abs. Full pink lips-too perfect.

Oh God, I thought. I slept with a model?

"Have you seen enough?" he smirked, jolting me back to reality.

"I didn't see anything!" I stammered, looking away.

"I know you're going to deny it," he said, amused.

That's when I remembered Lydia. Where was she?

"Don't worry. Her fiancé came to pick her up last night," he said.

How does he know her name?

"You mentioned it like a hundred times yesterday," he added. "And by the way, you owe me. You kicked me out of my own bed. I had to sleep in the guest room."

With that, he walked out.

I stared at his Godforsaken head, feeling mortified. I quickly gathered my belongings and tiptoed toward the door.

"Are you not eating before heading out?" he asked.

I ignored him and kept moving.

"Eat something first. You'll need the energy," he added. "Or I'll collect the 2 million-by force."

Where would I get 2 million dollars from? Even if I worked in a bank...

I nodded, giving in, and dragged myself toward the dining table.

To my surprise, all my favorite dishes were there.

Tears streamed down my face.

"How can someone make me feel this... seen in such a strange moment?"

"What are you doing?" he asked. "Are you crying over food?"

"I'm not," I said, wiping my tears. "What are you implying?"

"My dogs like this food. That's why I like it too," he said casually.

The moment he said that, I furiously stood up and left the table.

"How can your dogs like my favorite dishes? You think it's funny just because I mistakenly entered your house and slept here?" I snapped.

When I got home, I saw Tomson from behind-chatting with my mom.

Tomson... my childhood fiancé. The son of my mom's best friend. The boy I fell for too fast, too hard. And the same person who shattered me.

"Good morning, Mom," I greeted.

"Oh, you're back," she said, smiling. A smile I hadn't seen in so long-it was almost... radiant.

"Welcome. Tomson is here to see you."

He turned and looked at me with his usual innocent face, but I knew what lay beneath.

Is he here to apologize? Or... start over?

If it's either, part of me would still say yes.

"Babe, you look rough. Where are you coming from?"

I wanted to ask him how that was any of his business. But my voice failed me.

"Oh... from Lydia's house," I lied.

I hated myself for it.

Later, my mom pulled me aside. "Tomson is here. Be on your best behavior so he can take you back."

I was stunned. This woman-my mother-should be defending me, fighting for me.

"Your father's company needs you," she continued. "If you can't hold onto Tomson, the company might go bankrupt."

So that was it?

My happiness didn't matter anymore?

I wasn't even human to them. Just a pawn. A ghost in the living world.

After our short talk, she left Tomson and me alone.

For a while, we sat in silence.

Then he finally spoke.

"Did you miss me?"

Hell no.

But my lips betrayed me. "I missed you, Tomson. Why did you treat me like that?"

"You shouldn't be angry just because another woman was in my bed," he said casually. "Know your place. You're my wife-to-be. No one else can be Mrs. Morgue

"Cheated? Am I not enough?" I asked.

Tomson's face twisted in anger. "Are you not happy I came to look for you? If you bring this up again, I swear, I'll leave forever."

"Okay, okay," I said quickly, swallowing my pain. "I won't mention it again."

"Come here," he beckoned.

I stood slowly, like a remote-controlled doll.

"Sit on my lap," he said.

I obeyed, and he started massaging my thighs. I couldn't help but moan. God, I missed his touch so badly.

"Did you like it?" he asked, his voice dreamy.

I nodded, breathing heavily.

"Should I continue?"

Seriously? Can't you see I'm melting under your hands? Why ask such a foolish question? I nodded again but quickly stopped him.

"We're in the sitting room. Someone could walk in."

He didn't argue. Instead, he lifted me in bridal style and carried me to my room, gently laying me on the bed.

That night, we made love over and over again.

The next morning, I woke up to see Tomson sleeping beside me. I traced my fingers along his face. He was so handsome. Lying there beside him felt like peace. If this is all I ever had, I'd be fine.

His eyes fluttered open.

"How long have you been staring at me?" he asked.

I blushed hard.

"Yesterday wasn't enough?" he teased. Then, before I could answer, he pounced again.

I truly thought he had changed. I believed him.

But later, his phone rang. I peeked. Olivia. My heart sank.

I couldn't hear what she was saying, but Tomson's mood changed immediately. He got up and started putting on his trousers.

"Tomson, where are you going?" I asked, trying to hide my growing suspicion.

"Sorry babe. I'll be back tonight. Wait for me."

That's when it all became clear. He hadn't changed.

After he left, I showered and got dressed. Lydia had invited me to Mr. Johnson's birthday banquet-he was Ray City's top tech mogul.

I wore something radiant. Honestly, if Tomson hadn't left me behind, I probably wouldn't have come. But maybe it was meant to be.

At the banquet, the air was full of power. Prominent families from every sector were there. I felt lucky just being in the room.

Then I spotted Lydia. She waved and hugged me tightly.

"Hey buddy! I missed you!" she said.

Of course she did. After her fiancé picked her up last time, they left me to wander the streets alone, drunk and wasted.

I didn't hug her back.

Sensing my discomfort, she stepped back. "I'm really sorry about last time. I didn't know what happened. Please forgive me."

Her genuine apology melted my heart. "It's okay. Don't blame yourself. Anyone can make a mistake."

"How did you even get home?" she asked curiously.

"Story for another day," I smiled faintly. "I'll gist you later."

Just then, Lydia looked over my shoulder. "Wait-isn't that Tomson?"

"Yes!" I smiled, unable to hide it.

She looked at me sharply. "Are you two back together?"

"Yes," I said, beaming. "He apologized. We've been together since yesterday."

"Hmm..." She didn't look convinced. "Are you sure this guy's changed?"

"Don't worry," I said confidently. "It's different now."

Then she narrowed her eyes. "Wait... who's that with him? Is that... Olivia?"

I turned my head quickly. My smile vanished.

At first, I tried to deny what I was seeing. It's not what it looks like, I told myself.

But then... they kissed.

My heart shattered.

I grabbed a glass of wine and gulped it down.

Lydia stood silently. She didn't know what to say.

Then, as if to rub salt in the wound, Lydia's fiancé showed up. They hugged and greeted me.

Ryan only offered a handshake.

"Oh Lara, sorry about last time," he said.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied, trying to hold it together.

"You okay? You seem lost."

"I'm fine. Just a headache."

"I'll take you to the hospital."

"No need."

"Okay," he said, "but can I borrow your friend for a moment?"

Lydia looked at me, unsure.

"Go," I nodded. "I'm fine."

She hugged me. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"Yes. Go with your lover," I said playfully, pushing her away.

"And don't forget-I don't do girls," she joked, bursting into laughter before walking off.

After they left, I felt hollow.

Empty.

I looked across the room and saw Tomson laughing with Olivia. They looked like a real couple. And I... I looked like a mistress.

My heart crumbled.

Then, he noticed me staring. He seemed startled, then composed himself and walked over.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

I snapped. "So I can't be here? Is that what you mean?"

He flinched, surprised at my tone.

"No, that's not what I meant. This is just a banquet for the city's elite."

"Right. And since I don't fit in with you anymore, I guess I should've stayed home."

"You're being arrogant again. Olivia's just a friend. Even if she's in my bed, it doesn't mean I'll marry her. Mrs. Morgue is still you."

"Spare me the lies, Tomson. I didn't ask about Olivia-you brought her up yourself. Let me ask you something important: Do you even love me?"

He was silent.

That silence answered everything.

I turned to leave. He grabbed my arm.

Just as he was about to say something, Olivia called out.

And he ran to her.

Without a second thought.

I left the banquet broken. Not even a goodbye to Lydia.

I went straight to the bar.

Drank everything.

I didn't care anymore.

When I woke up the next day, I was in his bed again.

No. Not again.

"Your bill is now 4 million," his voice rang behind me. "So find a way to pay or... don't regret it later."

I gritted my teeth. Why do I keep ending up here?

He moved toward me and squatted by the bed.

"Lara, right? Your name sounds sweet."

I realized I was barely clothed. Just underwear. My nipples poked through the thin fabric.

He smiled. "Are you always this naughty?"

"You're the naughty one," I snapped. "Coming into your house drunk and sleeping in your bed... What if you took advantage of me?"

He smirked. "Exactly. What if I did?"

His voice lowered.

"Come for breakfast."

"Hell no."

Chapter: Torn Between Shadows

"Not the food your dog likes," I muttered bitterly.

Liam stepped closer, his face bending toward mine, just inches away. "And you actually believed I have a dog?"

"Why did you say that the other day then?"

"Because you vomited on my clothes," he said, smirking. "And yesterday, you did it again. So tell me, aren't you the dog now?"

Fury bubbled up in me. I stood, ready to lash out.

"No need to get angry," he said coolly, "unless you want to pay 7 million for sleeping on my bed."

Immediately, my anger melted away like ice under the sun.

"Come out for breakfast-and hangover soup."

I followed him shyly, completely thrown off by his unpredictable charm. Honestly, this guy was really getting under my skin. He needed to be taught a lesson.

We sat in silence at the table, eating quietly until he broke it.

"Is Tomson your boyfriend?" he asked.

My eyes widened. How did he know?

"You mentioned his name about twenty times last night," he said, as if reading my mind.

"He... he's my boyfriend," I answered, my voice barely above a whisper. Tears stung the back of my eyes. "Please, can we just eat in peace? I don't want to talk about him."

He nodded. "I respect that."

After a quiet moment, I asked, "You... what's your name?"

"You've slept on my bed twice now and still don't know my name?" he chuckled. "It's Liam."

"Nice to meet you, Liam," I smiled faintly, reaching out for a handshake. His hand was soft. I wished I could hold it forever.

"You can hold it forever," he said suddenly.

I blinked, startled. "Wait, can you read my mind?"

"Were you thinking about holding my hand forever?"

"Oh no," I denied quickly.

"Then let go of me."

Only then did I realize I was still clinging to his hand. I pulled away. "I'm sorry."

"No need to be. Eat up," he said casually.

How could he be so infuriating and kind at the same time?

The day turned out to be one of the best I'd had in years. We played games. Laughed. He made me feel safe. Genuinely happy.

For once, I tasted the sweetness of life. The bitterness of yesterday felt like a distant memory.

But that happiness didn't last long.

When I got home, I walked in on my father and Tomson-discussing wedding plans.