When Love Complicates

"In the face of uncertainty, courage blooms, an ember that ignites the soul. It dares us to take that first step into the unknown, where the extraordinary awaits. Amidst the shadows of fear, true strength emerges, and a remarkable journey begins."

Not me, looking outside the window, eagerly awaiting the rain. I love the comforting sound and the earthy smell of sand and water that accompanies it. My name is Mary, and I'm a 17-year-old high schooler in Grade 12. Soon, I will be done with highschool and face the real world out there. I am the first daughter, and t,he eldest child of the Benso? Don't. I, have, two younger siblings, Beck, ,who is 10 years old, and Anna, who is just 5 years old. They can be quite the handful. Being the first daughter and eldest child isn't always easy. I often find myself going through unfamiliar territory, trying to understand and adapt to the demands of my world. As my mum would always say, "The first daughter is like a second mum to her siblings." Beck, being the older one of the two, tends to bully Anna a lot. As the responsible big sister, I often find myself bearing the blame for his actions, from mum blaming me for not watching after them to her blaming me for not scolding Beck when ever he hurts Anna, and whenever I scold him she gets mad at me for hitting her son. It's a challenging role to Me. My father on the other hand is a successful businessman and a loving father. I'm grateful to have him in my life. My mum is a nurse, and her presence brings a sense of comfort and warmth to our family.

I started cooking for the house at the age of ten, doing more household chores and sacrificing my social life to help care for Beck when he was just a baby. He was such an adorable little bundle back then, but now I wish he can go back to being the little baby he was because use he gives me more headaches than solving complex mathematical equations. I remember a particular incident that happened when he was six months old. Mum asked me to take him back to his rib so that he could sleep, giving both of us a much-needed rest. I was carrying him carefully, when I suddenly slipped and fell ,to the ground. Before I could even open my eyes, I saw Beck crying on the floor. Mum rushed over to where we were picking him up, and tried to console him. But his cries continued, she started caressing his hair to stop him from crying because he always loved that. That's when she noticed the deep cut on his forehead. She turned to me, who was still struggling to get up, and sternly said,who will make sure your dad knows about this." With those words, she left the room. In pain and feeling misunderstood, I just stood there watching her shout. Until she told me to leave and stop standing still like a stick.schoolsquietly walked into my room, closed the door and fell on my b cu ion be until I drifted off to sleep. As remem red those memories I just smiled. I understood why mum always did that. She did the same to me according to what dad told me. It's not easy to birth a child and watch them hurt, so it's normal she acts like that. It's all out of love.

Morning arrived with the rising sun,.. signaling it was time to go to school. I heard Mum's voice calling us from the living room, and as I rose from my bed looking like a witch with my hair scattered all over my face, I was still struggling to get up from my bed when the realization hit me, "Oh no, it's Monday again." I said, pouting my lips to the front and walking to the bathroom to wash up. Mum had always taught us to say a prayer as soon as we wake up, even if it was just a simple "Thank you, Lord." I always did that before heading to the bathroom. I couldn't deny the fact that I disliked school immensely, but whenever I remembered a certain someone, it gave me the motivation to face the day.

His name is Tom, and we are in the same class. Tom is really cute and tall, he is also incredibly intelligent, and his parents happen to own the school. Consequently, he rarely has time for friends, as his goal is always to be the top student. Whenever we bump into each other at the library, reading and studying together, it feels like pure bliss. He possesses good manners and a calm personality or is it because I haven't gotten to know him much yet. He always has something interesting to talk about. His smile and the scent of his cologne have a profound effect on me. But, as is the case in most dramas, there is always a girl trying to capture his attention. In my world, her name is Sarah, and she has two sidekicks, Lola and June. Sarah, Lola, and June are one of the hottest girls in my school, and they seem to have almost all the guys in my class wrapped around their fingers. Sarah is not a bully or a bad person actually, but she's undeniably beautiful, her long straight black hair, brown eyes and skinny body is my rival in more ways than one. Sarah and her followers are incredibly talented, and they possess an irresistible allure that makes them popular among the opposite gender. Sarah can paint any manner of things, it's a gift but she looks so cool with it, Lola can sing, she's got a very nice voice she is currently auditioning at a big music entertainment industry and June on the other hand is a writer.

I just got back from reading at the library and I was really stressed I just entered the classroom and sat down on my sit and laid my head backwards on my chair to relax a bit before the next class period when I noticed someone staring at me, I sighted Tom looking at me, and lately I've noticed Tom looking at me more frequently but I thought I was only being delusional I also noticed whenever our eyes meet, he quickly averts his gaze. Of course, girls my age often interpret this as a sign of interest, a green light. With each passing day, my hopes grew stronger that someday he would gather the courage to ask me out, and we can start seeing each other, despite my mother's advice falling on deaf ears. I've fallen deeply in love with him, all those thoughts kept on coming into my mind and I just couldn't wait for him to walk up to me and be like, "be mine", aish that's cringe, I said in my mind and letting my body act it's one on the outside, swinging my legs and blushing holding my cheeks and trying to keep myself from laughing I didn't even care if anyone was looking I was in my own world.

It's been weeks now and I've waited patiently, hoping he would make a move. But I could no longer contain my feelings; I needed to take matters into my own hands and propel our relationship forward.

"I like you,"I said to him looking down and shy. I finally mustered up the courage to tell him, fueled by the glimmers of hope he had given me. He looked into my eyes and smiled, and in that moment, I eagerly anticipated his response so that we could finally begin going out.

However, his words shattered the silence, crushing my heart. "I do not like you," he said, bluntly.

" But... But... I thought you liked me... ," I stammered, my voice filled with confusion and pain. I was almost crying but I didn't want to show my weakness. I tried to hold my tears. How could he not like me after all those lingering gazes he had directed my way? It was utterly bewildering.

"I wasn't always looking at you, Mary. I was looking at Sarah, I'm so sorry if I have caused you any misunderstanding but I was always looking at Sarah not you" he replied giving me a pitiful look.

His voice trailed off, and the realization hit me like a tidal wave. I had misunderstood his intentions all this while, I was truly delusional. My face flushed with embarrassment as I realized the mistake I had made. I didn't know if I should just run away at that moment or tell him I was joking.

"Oh, Tom, I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. I think I should get going," I managed to say, attempting to hide my disappointment. It was clear that he was in love with someone else, and that someone happened to be Sarah. I decided to lie low and, perhaps, try to get over him, although I knew it wouldn't be easy at all but that's what I could do for my well-being .

"Please can you act like this never happened, I wouldn't be happy if I hear people making fun of me for telling you how I feel" I said embarrassed.

"Sure, why would I, don't worry Sarah it's all safe with me" he replied like he understood my feelings. I smiled at him and excused myself to go back to the class. With a heavy heart, I watched as he calmly walked into the classroom afterwards. I still love him, but it seemed like an impossible dream.

The final bell rang for the end of school and it was time to go home, normally I would first of all go to the library and have a thirty minutes reading before heading home, but I just couldn't, I knew I would meet Tom there and I just wanted to avoid him for the meantime. I can't watch him loving someone else. It can turn my head upside down.

Returning home, I found myself babysitting my siblings, Beck and Anna. Unfortunately, they weren't on their best behavior today, their stubbornness amplified beyond measure. Anna demanded more candies, refusing to accept the limit that mum created; intake of five per day to reduce her sugar intake.

"Mary, I want more candy, please! They tasted so good, and it's cruel to restrict a kid's best friend. I want my candy now!" she whined persistently.

Just when I thought I couldn't handle any more, Beck chimed in with his request.

"Hey, big sis, there's this movie about a boy and his crew saving the world. All my friends have watched it, and it sounds really interesting. I really want to watch it please!" Beck's plea only added to my frustration.

Me on the other hand still trying to figure out how I will avoid Tom throughout the term or what I can say to him to make him stop thinking about it because I know he would, I started getting so frustrated with Anna and Beck I did not know when I shouted at them "Can you two just leave me alone? You're both getting on my nerves please, I'm trying to figure out something here and you two are not helping matters!" I snapped at them angrily, hoping they would finally relent. Surprisingly, they obeyed and left. I took a moment to calm myself down, feeling the weight of my broken heart and the challenges of dealing with my siblings all at once. I inhaled and exhaled a couple of times just to get myself back.

The following day, Tuesday morning arrived, and as usual, I lacked enthusiasm for school. The one person I longed to see that gave me chills to go to school barely acknowledged my existence. It was agonizing to witness the person I loved being infatuated with someone else. And it's annoying waking up and having to remember what happens yesterday and also wishing you could switch school immediately

"Argh, i wonder how I am going to face Tom today if I bump into him, or what if he had told his guys, oh no Tom isn't like that, but what if he had told just one of them , oh no no no snap out of it Mary, snap out of it" I lamented to myself slapping my cheeks and trying to hide the fact that he could possibly have told them.

My mother called for me, her voice indicating her discontent. I knew I was running late again, so I hurriedly rushed to the bathroom, took my bath, wore my uniform, took my bag and socks with the hope of putting them on in the car and I rushed downstairs, gulped down my tea, and headed to the car. My mother's mood seemed off, I hate seeing mum sad or angry. I was really sad seeing her like that but I didn't want to ask in case she snapped at me also. I later summoned up the courage to ask her...

"Mom, is everything alright?" I asked, concerned about lacing my voice. She didn't respond, and we rode in silence until we got to school.

As we got to school, I bid her goodbye and she just zoomed off. I watched her drive off worriedly but there was nothing I could do, "she and dad must have gotten into a heated argument then" I thought while walking along my school gate.

I got inside the classroom and tried to study if anyone was looking at me somehow that way I can know if he truly told anyone, after minutes of looking no one even seemed to pay attention to me that's when I knew he truly did not tell anyone and I breathed a big sigh of relief.

Fishery class, my first period, awaited me, and it was a class I despised a lot. I wasted close to a few minutes before attending the class but I later went because I know how impactful it can be. I just find it boring. I walked through the hallway of our school going to the fishery class which was always held at our school pond so as to give detailed explanations to every topic. As I entered, I noticed Tom sitting there, engrossed in his reading. I quickly shifted my gaze so I wouldn't make any eye contact with him. The classroom was chaotic as usual, filled with the cacophony of students chatting away, not even minding if there was a teacher in front. I sighted someone waving at me and it was Tom, a smile on his face, and I reciprocated before making my way to my seat.

Good morning, class," Mrs. Agnes greeted us, as she made way into our class.

"Good morning, ma'am," we replied in unison. "Today, there won't be any lectures, the principal passed a loving piece of information to all the teachers yesterday at our meeting and guess what ?" she said, trying to make us guess.

"What teacher?" We all were on our toes to hear what would make our strict principal allow us to skip class for a day.

"As you all know, Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and this time around, the principal as seeked permission from all parents of the school to allow their kids to enjoy this valentine, so that being said, start picking your partners, and I'll be waiting," she announced. Students started passing by me, but none approached me. They rushed toward Sarah and the other popular girls. Feeling invisible, I resigned myself to sitting alone until I saw a guy's shoe in front of me, I traced it up and saw a tall slender guy with curly dark hair at my front. Will you be my valentine?" he asked, catching me off guard. I hadn't even noticed him in class before, but he was undeniably handsome, more attractive than Tom.

"Hi, have I seen you before? What's your name?" I inquired, genuinely curious.

"My name is Marvin, but you can call me Marve. I'm actually a new student, and you seem calm and beautiful. I want you to be my valentine," he responded. I was speechless, my mind racing. But before I could answer, my eyes involuntarily shifted to Tom, who was already with Sarah. Disappointment washed over me seeing him happy with someone else, he didn't even look my way for one second, I turned back to Marve, saying, "Yes, why not?" With the hope of making Tom jealous. Marvin's face lit up with happiness, and he told me that he will contact me more on how our dress code should be and all other preparations. The whole time I wasn't even listening to him, my mind was just fixated on Tom trying to catch a glimpse of him, but he wasn't even looking my way. Marvin gave me his phone to get my number, I gave him and that's how our friendship began.

As the days passed by, everyone in class schedules grew busier with final exams approaching. My mother had arranged for a private tutor for me, Mrs. Valerie, who would help me prepare. Tom became increasingly occupied, yet he always managed to find time for Sarah. I am jealous, so jealous. It became evident to everyone that he had feelings for her, because no matter how much I tried, he didn't even pay attention to me. However, to my relief, he kept our previous conversation a secret, that felt good and I am glad. When the bell rang, signaling the end of the school day, we all hurriedly packed up and left. I had to wait for my mother's car before I could head home. While waiting, I unexpectedly encountered Marve. I was delighted to see him, and I learned that he was also waiting for his dad. We engaged in conversation, laughing and getting to know each other better. Moments later, my mother arrived, and I reluctantly bid farewell to Marve, waving as he smiled at me, his charming dimples revealing themselves. In that moment, I felt myself falling deeper into affection. But love? No, I couldn't possibly be in love so soon. I shook off the thought as I climbed into the mum's car.

While in the car, I met Beck and Anna . My two adorable siblings, Beck and Anna, surrounded me as we played together in the car. My mother still wore a serious expression, leaving me curious about what was bothering her. Summoning up courage, I asked her about her day at work and teasingly inquired about her new love interest., I knew that would make Her laugh, because why? A love interest when she's got my dad, Her face softened into a smile, one I had missed dearly. She explained that work had been exhausting, and she wasn't feeling her best. "Mum is 'under the weather,' but you're in the car," Anna innocently pointed out. "Hey, lady, it's just an expression," I clarified for Anna. "It means she's not feeling well, do you understand?" Anna nodded, comprehending my explanation. My mother looked at me with pride, and then refocused on driving. We continued playing and made a promise to give her some medication once we arrived home. A few minutes later, we pulled into the driveway. My mother asked me to bring in the groceries from the car, and I dutifully obliged, carrying them to the kitchen and arranging them neatly. I quickly changed into more comfortable clothes, as I knew I would be assisting my mother with cooking dinner. With the tasks completed, I retreated to my room, grabbing my study notes and dedicating an hour to reviewing. Exhaustion began to overtake me, and I eventually succumbed to sleep. Suddenly, my phone began to ring, jolting me awake. "Who could be calling at this hour?" I wondered, momentarily disoriented. Gathering my wits, I summoned the courage to pick up the call. "Hello, am I speaking to Mary?" a familiar voice on the other end of the line asked. It was Marvin. A blush crept onto my cheeks, betraying the surge of happiness that flooded my being. Was I falling for him this quickly? It seemed impossible.

"Yes this is Mary, who am I speaking with", I queried acting like I don't know who it was.

"This is Marvin, I'm sorry for calling you this late, I just thought you would be less busy by now, but if you're in bed, I'm sorry, let's talk tomorrow" he replied.

"No, not at all, I'm not sleeping yet", I replied blushing.

We talked for what felt like an eternity, losing track of time as we shared stories, laughed, and discovered common interests. But as the conversation carried on, I suddenly noticed my bedroom door slowly creaking open.