Welcome Home, Baby

Grace took one last look at the mirror and then patted her left cheek. She was fifteen years old, dark, taller than average, and quite beautiful. She was one of the several children at the Lady Theresa orphanage home. The home serves as a sanctuary for orphans, abandoned and vulnerable children and is run by the catholic mission. Grace had been a member of the orphanage since she was an infant. She had known no other family except the kids she grew up with and others who had joined as the years went by. She was preparing to meet her new parent. One she would not have to share with anyone.

She was reluctant to leave when the mother-in-charge first brought up the issue. It took some plea from the mother-in-charge to convince her to accept leaving with the anonymous woman. The thought of her imminent exit from the home brought tears to her eyes while enjoying the cool breeze that serenaded the grass-court. She was out in the garden of the Lady Theresa home. The voices of excited kids playing some distance away from her blurred the chirping of the birds.

Out in the city some kilometers away, Kome kept her attention on the flow of traffic. She was finding it difficult to suppress the mixed feelings that assailed her mind. She was thirty-five, a dark complexioned lady, beautiful and confident in her carriage. She was single. Fortunately or rather unfortunately, whatever notion people had about her was going to change. She was soon to earn the tag of a single mother but that was the last thing on her mind.

She moved her car forward and covered the little space between hers and the person in front. The thought of a frosty reunion had dominated her mind for a long time but was anticipating something better than a cold reception. She had waited several years for the opportunity to have her daughter in her care. The thought of giving her daughter away some fifteen years ago had appeared as the logical choice then. While her personal interest had dominated her mind then, she could easily say with hindsight that she had done the right thing. She snapped out of her thoughts as the blaring horns of the cars behind assailed her senses. Her companion, the elderly Bose, sat quietly beside her. She had been instrumental to Kome's decision to consider getting her daughter back. Kome removed her leg from the clutch and edged the car forward.

***************

The image of her dying mother never left Kome's head while she was growing up. Kome was in the third year of her junior secondary school when her mother fell ill with a mysterious illness. She knew it to be so after repeated visits to the hospital and there was no clear diagnosis on what was wrong with her mother. Her father struggled through that period and she watched his reaction with keen interest. She had not known him to exhibit such meekness even as they mourned. Oghale, Kome's father struggled with the aftermath of his wife's death and refused to marry even as the years went by. The death of her mother had much impact on her growing up years as she tended to her father and herself. She also did not consider it difficult to obey his strict instructions which were mainly rooted in his Christian faith. Oghale was a member of the Anglican Church and followed the traditions keenly.

Kome did not leave Oleh, her town of residence until she got admission to study at the University of Benin. She was happy when she arrived the campus as a fresh student but struggled to settle into the activities on campus initially. She was firm in following the basic practices of attending classes and other educational functions while being an active member of the Anglican Church on campus.

She was not oblivious to social pressures on campus especially in her relationship with the male sex. She insisted on a platonic relationship, shielding herself from offers from her course mates and other guys she met on campus. Two years went by and she was on a positive trail having scored well in her examinations. She was primed to finish with a good result. It was not until her third year in school that she met Eric. They were of the same year and he was a member of the school football team. He met her in church and was moved by both her beauty and sonorous voice. He asked for her friendship and introduced himself as a student in the Chemistry department and an indigene of the state.

Kome liked Eric but was hesitant on accepting his offer of friendship. She showed little interest as a result of her unwillingness to get involved in any romantic relationship. Eric saw her refusal as an inspiration to try more as he was smitten by her beauty and personality. Kome had little in her way to refuse his consistent pleas especially as she lived alone and her father was some distance away. She considered Eric's request and decided to give it a trial. It took a simple letter to convey her agreement and then they started their relationship. The beginning was quite interesting as they grew to know each other.

Eric's father, Chief Osareimen, was one of the richest man in his Bini clan. He was quite influential and was bringing up his son to take over from him. Eric was therefore one of the popular faces on campus but this did not stop him from enjoying the company of Kome. He loved her and was encouraged by her feeling the same way towards him. Kome did not relent in her studies as she continually made progress as time went by. Her relationship with Eric broadened her social activities as they went to several places together. They visited fun places together though she would always protest any time her friends made reference to them dating.

The relationship grew as time went by. Kome had warmed up to the idea of having Eric as an integral part of her life. Eric on his part was obviously enjoying the time they spent together. Gradually, the more time they spent together, the more he craved to have a romantic relationship with her. She was resistant at first but soon agreed. Despite this, she maintained her decision not to have a sexual relationship with Eric. Eric did not take kindly to the idea and kept pestering her. Kome was reluctant and this brewing tension became more of a problem as days went by. It was one of such rare meetings in Kome's apartment that led to their first confrontation. He had kissed her and was about progressing beyond that when she pushed him away.

''Why are you acting strange?'' Eric asked angrily.

''I am not acting strange, you should understand that it isn't time for this," she replied.

''When will it be?'' Eric asked.

She looked at him indifferently and turned away to face the door.

''You are not helping this relationship.''

''I really don't know what to tell you anymore but I am not ready for that yet.''

''You really have to give a thought to it, we have been together for a long time at least.''

''It doesn't matter. I just think the time is not right.''

They didn't argue any more but the rest of that day was quite uneventful. Eric left and took solace in the company of his friends. They remained incommunicado for about three weeks. Kome feared for their relationship while at the same time saw it as a necessary sacrifice to adhere to that advice of waiting until the bridal night. She trusted Eric but the relationship was just a promise whose end Kome hoped was in death. She had been able to stay within the bounds of chastity and therefore didn't have to suffer from the haunting thoughts of being wayward. She was quite confident of not been found on the wrong part even if her father had a spy watching her.

Eric on his part missed Kome but felt it was best to keep away from her. He feared he was losing grip of his sense and worth. While he loved Kome, he just could not imagine how low he should go in his desire to sleep with her. It was awkward thinking about kome's reluctance to have sex with him. The decision to keep away from Kome was supported by his friends who were against the relationship from the onset. They felt that Eric was turning into a weak guy as a result of his fraternizing with Kome. These factors ensured that he stayed away for about three weeks. The second semester examination came around this period and everyone took to their studies religiously. They were both in final year.

Kome had finished her examination scheduled for that day and was relaxing in her room when she heard a knock on the door. She opened and found Eric standing at the door. He wore a white shirt and a pair of denim trousers. He looked good even though his facial expression spoke of anxiety and boredom. He didn't say anything for some time and Kome stood at the door staring at the floor.

''Are you not going to let me in?'' he asked.

Kome stepped out of his way and he walked in. He stood and looked round her room. She had her mattress on the floor while a wooden wardrobe stood at a corner of the room.

''What do you want?'' Kome asked still standing at the door.

''I have come to see you,'' he said as he turned to look at her. ''How are you?"

"I am fine,'' she replied.

''You didn't bother to check on me,'' he said after a while.

Kome glared and he smirked.

"Alright Kome, I am sorry for what happened the last time," he said.

She got the message and was unwilling to prolong the tense atmosphere hence she walked to where he was and embraced him. A little cuddle and they disengaged. It was all they needed to bring three weeks of silence to an end. Eric had missed her and also taken his time to consider their relationship. Kome on her part saw this as a welcome relief as she had missed his company. Their reconciliation seemed good enough to gloss over the effect of their break from each other. The examination finished in good time and they stayed back in school in order to put finishing touches to their final year projects. The period presented more opportunities for them to meet. Eric took Kome to his house on one of such days when his parents were not around. He made sure that he got her acquainted with the people around and referred to Kome as his wife. She loved him the more from that moment and could already envisage a beautiful future ahead.

The last day on campus was quite eventful for Kome. She had submitted her project and was set to return home the next day. Eric came visiting in the afternoon. They both went out to see a movie before going to an eatery where they had a small celebration. They returned home just before it was dark. The room was dark as there was no electricity supply. They sat on her bed and continued talking.

''I will miss you,'' Eric said after a brief silence.

Kome felt the pain of imminent separation in his voice. She would miss him also but felt safe in the knowledge that he loved her as much as she loved him.

''I will miss you too,'' she replied.

She rested her head on his shoulder and Eric brought his hand to support her head. They stayed like that for a while until the room was almost covered in darkness. Kome stood up and put on the rechargeable lantern. The light illuminated the room. She returned to sit beside Eric and he immediately leaned close to kiss her. She obliged and they kissed passionately for a while and then Eric started caressing her. She felt no jitters, willingly giving herself to him. The love making was slow and breathtaking. The feeling from below her belly was at first painful but she gradually grew to enjoy the thrill of his thrust. It was an enjoyable experience as Kome relished the moment she gave her prized possession to her one true love.

The joy of her first sexual experience was etched on her tired face when she woke up the next morning. She watched sleeping Eric for a while before she stood up from the bed. She suddenly felt guilty as soon as she saw the blood smeared on her bed-sheet. Suddenly her conscience began to prick her. She felt like a traitor and became conscious of the fact that she had defied herself and couldn't imagine that God would forgive her. She tried praying but it was a fruitless exercise as she struggled amidst a trail of aggressive thoughts.

Eric woke up just as she was struggling to come to terms with her present state.

''Good morning,'' he said.

She did not reply him. She couldn't bear to look at the devil's agent who had made her commit such a grievous sin. She hurried out of the room with a cloth tied around her bosom just stopping below her knee. Eric hurriedly put on his clothes and rushed outside to meet her standing by a pillar.

''What is wrong with you?'' he asked.

She didn't reply him as she continued staring ahead. He went and stood in front of her.

''What is wrong with you?'' he asked.

Kome remained at the same spot still struggling to let go of her despair. She looked at Eric who was immediately moved by the look on her face.

''Promise you won't leave me,'' she blurted.

''I won't,'' Eric replied.

She leaned forward to embrace him. It was all she needed at that point. She was feeling a deep sense of guilt and also coupled with the fact that her father would vilify her if he finds out. She needed the assurance from the only person she felt could defend her even in this tumultuous time. She held onto him for a little longer before Eric disengaged from the embrace. He patted her hair and then kissed her on the forehead. He left immediately.

She went into her room and started packing her clothes. She struggled to keep her mind at rest while also faced with the fact that she was almost late for the trip home. Her father had always advocated for travelling as early as possible. She left for the motor-park as soon as she was done with arranging her luggage. The journey back home was cool and refreshing. She indulged herself in cherishing the pleasant memories of her four years stay in the University of Benin.

Kome's first few weeks home was a mixture of both good and not-too-good experiences. She received several congratulatory messages from her close friends and church members. Her father was particularly thrilled with the fact that she came out with a good result and she got a rare hug from him. She found settling back into living with her father and being responsible for the household chores uninteresting and tasking. She was already used to living on her own and surely loved the freedom that came with it thus her father's house only made her feel nostalgic about her school days in Benin. She also missed Eric especially when she remembers the last night they spent together. The feelings that enveloped her mind in the aftermath seemed pleasant after all and this made her pine for an opportunity to visit him in Benin.

The need to visit Benin arrived in an unexpected way. A month after her arrival at home, she started feeling sick. It started with symptoms of malaria fever. She tried to self-medicate for some time but when her health condition failed to improve, she went to the hospital with her father. The doctor did a test to confirm if it was malaria but it came out negative. Other tests were conducted but none proved satisfactory. Oghale was worried and confused.

''I am afraid sir, we have not found anything,'' the doctor reported.

''This is strange, what do you think we should do?'' Oghale asked.

''I really don't know but these symptoms are common place especially in pregnancy related issues,'' the doctor replied.

''That is definitely off the point, she is not married yet,'' Oghale replied half chuckling.

The doctor saw sense in what he had just revealed. The pregnancy test was the only test they had not conducted. He felt uncomfortable with the trail of his thoughts but it was almost foolish to rule out such a possibility. How was he going to tell the man that they should give pregnancy test a trial? He knew him as a man with high morals and therefore it was expected that his only child should be able to follow the right path.

"Sir, there is little we can do. Maybe it would be wise to take her home."

"Alright, thank you very much."

They shook hands and Oghale left with his daughter. Kome felt weak but she tried to find solace in the doctor's unknown diagnosis. She felt that all she needed was to rest and things would return back to normal as soon as possible. She was able to live through the next two days without any incidence but the third day presented an insight into what could possibly be wrong with her. She was setting the table for breakfast when she fainted. Oghale rushed her to the hospital immediately.

She woke up with a startle and was immediately confronted by the white walls of the doctor's office. The room was quiet as there was nobody besides her. She stood up from the bed which was located some distance from the doctor's desk. The doctor walked in right at that moment.

''Good morning sir,'' she greeted.

''Good afternoon, how are you?'' the doctor asked.

''I am feeling okay,'' she replied.

She went to sit on the bed while the doctor stood facing her.

''Kome.''

"Sir."

''You are pregnant. You are a month gone already'' the doctor announced.

She stared at the doctor dumbfounded. It seemed like the world collapsed right in front of her. How was she going to explain the pregnancy to her father? Finally, the event of that night with Eric was going to be revealed. She bowed her head in shame while the doctor patted her on the back. The doctor walked away without minding the sympathetic thoughts that was about taking over his mind. He was used to such scenes.

Tears streamed down her cheeks which she quickly brushed away. Crying was not going to solve her problem. She stood up and left the hospital. The journey back home was filled with thoughts of how she was going to face her father and also what next since the pregnancy has been confirmed. She couldn't utter the word 'God'. She felt like she had been separated from him a long time ago and she was tired of being held down by the overwhelming guilt that assailed her mind. The realization of her true spiritual state was becoming obvious. She had lost touch with her faith in God. She stopped in front of their house and paid the motorcycle rider. She went to her room immediately she got into the house. She was both physically and emotionally weak and needed as much rest she could get before facing her father. If it was up to her, she wouldn't have informed her father but she knew the doctor must have informed him.

Oghale returned home just before the sun vanished completely from sight. She opened the door as soon as he knocked.

"Diwo,"she greeted.

"Vredo,"he replied.

Oghale walked past her even as he noticed that her head was slightly bowed. He felt it was not time yet to confront her as he was tired. He had managed to finish up the assignment given to him at the office before returning home. Kome on her part heaved a sigh of relief. She knew he must have gotten the news but was happy that he had not brought it up as soon as he returned. She was getting the table set for the evening meal when he came into the kitchen.

"I hope you have heard?" he asked suddenly.

She did not reply.

"Are you deaf?" he asked raising his voice.

"Yes, I have heard," she stammered.

"So what happened?"

Her thoughts came tumbling as she struggled to come up with a suitable reply. There was no way she was going to recant the story that led to her first sexual intercourse.

"I slept with a friend," she said.

"That is a very stupid confession from you," her father thundered. "I can't imagine that you could be so stupid as to sleep with a man who is not your husband."

"Ose (father)...I am sorry."

"I don't need any apology from you. I just want you to bring that man that impregnated you," he said angrily.

She remained in the same spot with her head bowed.

"Are you still standing there?" he asked angrily.

She made an attempt to move but her mind was clad in confusion. She was lost on what to do to pacify her father. The deed had been done and there was little she could do but to embrace the consequence.

"You betrayed me, you failed to adhere to my instructions," Oghale moaned.

She fell on her knees immediately.

''I am very sorry'' Kome pleaded.

"No, you will have to take this pregnancy to the person that slept with you. I don't think I can allow a single lady to live with a pregnancy under my roof especially my own daughter."

That night, she was pushed out of the house by her father. It came as a huge shock to her and her fervent knocks on the door did not assuage her father's anger. She looked around the dark street for a while before stepping out of the compound. She was unsure of where to go. She had relations she could put up with but was unwilling to report her present predicament to them. She preferred to leave that responsibility to her father hence did not consider going to stay with any of them. She didn't wait too long before hitting the street.

She arrived her friend's house just before it was 8:30pm. She was gladly taken in by Precious, one of her closest friends. Precious's parents were not in the sitting room when they entered and she quickly took Kome to her room which she shared with her two younger sisters. Kome took a spot on the mattress beside her as they settled down to sleep. They didn't talk much and Kome was quite happy as she was unwilling to discuss anything. She slept intermittently through the night constantly bothered by the dreary visions that permeated her dreams. The future was gradually unravelling itself before her eyes and she was yet to arrive at a definite decision. She left just before dawn and managed to evade Precious's parents.

As she made her way home, thoughts of a possible solution occupied her mind. She had not given thought to having an abortion but knew there was still time. She could still carry out the procedure within the second or third month but something else came up in her mind at this point. Eric was not aware of her pregnancy. She had missed him even before now but his absence from her life was becoming more consequential by the moment. Her father had revealed how much he loathed her misdemeanor and she couldn't imagine how torturous it would be for her to carry the pregnancy to term in his house.

Just about this time, she got to the front of their compound and walked in. The compound was quiet but she was certain that her father had not left for work. She knocked on the door and waited a while before knocking again. Oghale opened the door and turned away immediately.

"Diwo," she greeted.

He did not reply as he walked away immediately. She struggled to put her thoughts in check and set about doing her chores. Eric seemed a consolation each time she thought about him but was unsure of how he would receive the news. Oghale left the house while she was in the kitchen preparing breakfast. He did not return home until 7:00pm that day. That day was the beginning of a week of silence that drove Kome's patience to its limit. She kept indoors even when living in the silent house seemed claustrophobic. Guilt seared her mind and the thought of news of her pregnancy getting out confined her to the four walls of her father's house.

Two weeks after the confirmation of her pregnancy, she decided to inform Eric. She had considered writing a letter but suddenly felt it would be better if she meets him. Despite the pregnancy, she still loved Eric. She couldn't imagine a situation where they would go their separate ways. Benin was just some hours away but she was broke. She decided to approach her father. It was going on to the second week of her father's cold war and they had discussed little apart from the occasional greetings and his issuance of instructions. She thought of her mother and wished she was present to help her.

Oghale returned from work just before dark. Once he had eaten and he was out in the verandah enjoying the evening breeze, she approached him.

"Ose..." she began. "I want to ask a favor."

He remained unmoved.

"I want to travel to Benin and I need some money?" she asked.

"What do you want to do in Benin?" he asked.

"I want to go and check my result," she replied.

"All right, I will give you the money when you need it.''

She smiled in acknowledgement of her little triumph. She already had everything planned out and the first step was already taken care of.

********************

She embarked on the journey two days after she had informed her father. She arrived her room and immediately laid on her bed. A sense of relief filled her mind especially after leaving her father's presence. She was already looking forward to her meeting with Eric and was hopeful that he would accept the pregnancy.

She went to her department and checked her result the next day. She had made a mixture of distinctions and credits in all her papers. This was cheery news to her and also she was slated for the National youth service scheme. She basked in the euphoria for a while before it occurred to her that she would not be able to go for service in her present condition. She remembered Eric at that moment and decided to go and see him. She had written his home address down in her jotter aside the fact that she had been there once. She arrived his house just after noon. The gatekeeper directed her to the front of the house. She pressed on the doorbell, waited a little while before the door was opened by a maid.

"Good afternoon," she greeted.

"Good afternoon, who are you?" she asked.

"I am Kome, a friend of Eric, and I have come to see him,'' she said.

"Okay, wait here while I go and inform him."

The maid closed the door while Kome waited outside. She loved the cool breeze blowing across the compound and also took the time to look around. Suddenly the door flung open and an elated Eric rushed to embrace her. His excitement was intoxicating.

"How are you?" he asked after they broke the embrace.

"I am fine," she replied.

He led her through the open doorway and they strolled inside the house. He led her past the sitting-room to his room upstairs. The room was carefully arranged and had a nice smell. She sat on a chair close to a table piled with books while Eric walked to the refrigerator and got a bottle of coke.

''I am so happy to see you,'' he said placing the drink on a stool.

Kome replied with a smile.

"So how have you been?" he asked.

"Very fine, it's just that I have missed school and you especially," she replied.

"That is good to hear," he said.

He went to sit beside her and held her gaze for a while.

"Have you checked your result?" she asked.

"Yes, I passed all my papers."

"That is great. I checked mine and it was good," she replied.

"That is worth celebrating," he said excitedly.

He uncorked the drink and gave it to her. The thought of his reaction to the news she was about to reveal made her uneasy. Despite the assurance of his love, she felt he would not be happy with the news.

"Eric, I have something important to tell you."

"What is it?" he chuckled.

She averted her eyes while mustering enough courage to announce the news.

"I am pregnant," she said.

Slowly the smile left Eric's face and was replaced with shock.

"How come...this is not good," he lamented.

He stood up and began pacing the room. Despite her initial fears, she was taken aback by his reaction. The lines across his forehead were suddenly visible and his mind seemed clouded.

"How far gone?"

"It's already a month."

"It isn't too late for us to do something about it then," he said and sat beside her.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"You will have to abort it..."

"I can't do such," she retorted.

He was stunned and averted his gaze. Silence followed and a familiar feeling of tension filled the air. Two months ago, she wouldn't have imagined that she would be having this conversation with anyone but here she was trying to save the being growing inside her.

"What are you going to do then?" Eric asked.

"I am not going to commit another sinful act because of you," she replied angrily.

"You are acting strange. What I am asking you to do is not a big deal. You obviously know that if we delay any further, we will be in a bigger problem."

"I will not do what you are asking me to do. I can't imagine killing this baby," she retorted.

"You know you can't afford to have a baby now," he said.

''I don't think there is another way out.''

"You are proving difficult. How do you intend to cater for this baby?" he asked.

"I am not the only one involved. It is for us to decide," she replied.

He stood up from the bed and went to stand by the refrigerator.

"I am not ready to be a father. You have to terminate this pregnancy. I can give you the money if that is what you want."

The look on Eric's face was enough to make her go cold. He had suddenly grown distant and this made her uncomfortable. She stood up slowly and took her bag. She was about leaving when Eric held her left arm.

"You are making this thing too difficult. Don't you understand the implication of having a baby at this point?"

"You are not different after all," she replied coldly.

She withdrew her hand and left the room. He seemed to go cold suddenly. He thought he should have done better but was unprepared to assume parental responsibility. He already knew the consequence of his rejection of the baby especially as Kome was willing to keep it. He remained at the same spot, content in the knowledge that his family would reject the baby.

Kome maintained a cold look all through the ride to the hostel where her friend, Rachael lived. It had been a day of mixed experience and the cheery news of her graduation had taken a backseat with the future looking bleak. She increasingly felt exposed especially with the seeming lack of support around her. She got to Rachael's apartment and found the door locked. She checked under the mat in front of the door and fetched a key. She felt some relief safe in the knowledge that she would be alone for some time. She was too distraught to talk and this would also give her an opportunity to diffuse the tension in her mind. She had no cause to regret that night but couldn't imagine that the consequence could be as big as it was today. She laid on the bed as tears gathered at the side of her eyes.

Suddenly, she sprang up at the sound of approaching feet. Amid the blurry state of her sleepy eyes, she saw Rachael staring at her.

"Good afternoon," she drawled.

Rachael laughed.

"It's evening already, you must have slept for a long time," Rachael said.

She turned to look at the clock on the wall and found out Rachael was correct about the time. It was almost six in the evening. She felt ill all of a sudden and made her way outside. She had slept longer than usual and reckoned that it must have been as a result of the developing pregnancy. She felt her stomach for the sign of the baby's movement but there was none. She knew no feelings towards the fetus growing in her womb and had not considered it until that moment in Eric's house. She felt indifferent realizing the fact that she had stood for the right of an unborn baby against the menacing plan of Eric. She felt this might be God's will for her life as she had often heard that children were a gift from God. Unfortunately the circumstances surrounding her were proving too strong an obstacle for the comfort of such thought. She was about to be stranded especially without the support of her father. She suddenly broke into tears and could have cried longer if not for the little weight she felt on her right shoulder. She shuddered.

"Why are you crying?" Rachael asked.

She didn't reply as she cleaned the tears on her face.

"Did you fail any course?"

She smiled at the thought of failing a course. After all, her friend knew little about her.

"No... I made all my papers."

Rachael looked on curiously, unsatisfied with her answer. She could easily tell her about the pregnancy but then felt it was too early to let the cat out of the bag.

"I just remembered the fact that my mother would have loved to see me become a graduate. I miss her," Kome replied.

Rachael sighed and became sober. She knew little about her friend's mother but death could be cruel as it often struck unexpectedly.

"So how was your day?" Kome asked.

"It was fine," she replied.

The rest of the evening was spent preparing dinner while they discussed several things. Kome tried as much to keep her mind away from the storms gathering around her future. She tried to discourage her fears. She slept little that night especially with her struggle to define what step to take next. She thought about her aunty who lived in Warri and decided to go and visit her as soon as it was possible. She was increasingly thinking less of her father and this brought her some comfort.