Up in Smoke

Prologue

Colton was a firefighter the youngest one at the station at only 21 so he felt he had a lot to prove. He focused on his career and worked a lot of hours. It didn't leave much time for romance. He would meet women, but they only wanted him because he was a firefighter. They were mostly gold diggers and heart breakers, and he was over all of that non-sense.

He was tired of women only wanting him because of his looks and career. He didn't have much time to go places and meet women, so he decided to go on a dating site and find love that way. He wasn't going to post his picture so maybe he could find someone he truly connected with.

He was just sick of the usual type he attracted. He wanted someone he could talk to. A woman that made even the worst of days better. Someone that won't want to leave him because he has to leave her for work. He just really wanted to find love. Yes, he was young, but he was more than ready to settle down with the right woman.

Joslyn was 19 and just finished training to become a paramedic. She wanted to save people. To make a difference in the world. She has been so focused on her schooling and taking care of her sick sister before she passed away that she never had time for romance.

She never went on dates or even had a boyfriend. She didn't know how to go about meeting guys and was pretty shy. Joslyn was a plus-size girl and felt men wouldn't want her because of her size. So, she joined a dating site but didn't put up her picture for now.

Joslyn starts talking to this guy with only an initial for his name C. They have been talking for a month and he's pushing for them to meet. She's scared because she's not the most confident person and she's new at this. She likes how they are with each other, but fears meeting will only ruin it.

Will C want her when he sees her for the first time? Can she get over her insecurities and let love into her heart? Will Colton finally find a woman that just wants him for him? Can true love Conquer all?

Chapter 1

Colton's pov

Man, today was a long day. There were three fires we had to take care of and they weren't easy we had a lot of people we had to evacuate then get the fires under control. Luckily no one was hurt in any of them, so I call that a good day. All I wanted to do was go home and crash, but it was my 21st birthday so my buddies were picking me up to go out and celebrate.

I didn't mind going out with my buddies so much it's just the club the always want to go to. It was the same old type of women there that I was sick of being around. They were just looking to have fun not settle down and find love like I was. I was over the club scene. I was lonely, but I was not going to take some random girl home for a night. That just wasn't who I am.

I would rather be home and chat with my online mystery girl. She was so sweet, and we have really hit it off. We have been talking for a month now. I still don't know what she looks like. She doesn't even know what I look like because she's not ready to trade pics yet. I wish she would get past that, so I could meet her in person.

I hurried into the shower then got dressed since my buddies will be here any minute now. I sent my girl a text letting her know I was being dragged out by my buddies tonight, so she wouldn't be upset if I didn't respond back to her right away. I didn't want to lose her before I truly got her. I even let her know where we were going just in case she wanted to drop by. I really hoped she would.

My buddies sent me a text telling me to just take a cab since most of them were already at the club saving us a table and had already started to drink. This was not going to be a fun night. I was never really into going out and acting crazy. I was only going to have a beer or two then go home. I just wasn't in the mood to be out tonight.

I got to the club found my buddies and sat down. I ordered a beer and they ordered shots and other things. I didn't care what they said I was not joining in. Tonight, was my birthday not another excuse for them to get drunk and stupid.

My phone went off, so I hurried to look at it. It was a text from my girl wishing me a happy birthday and telling me to have a good night. Getting that text made my night. She was unlike any other girl I have ever met. I decided to be brave and send her a picture of me in hopes that I would get one back.

I mean what was she waiting for? Was she afraid I wouldn't like her? I already had feelings for her. I sent the pic eagerly awaiting her reply. I waited and got nothing. I ordered a shot feeling upset that she didn't say anything about my pic. Did I scare her off?

My buddies were out on the dance floor dancing, but I just wasn't into it. I looked over to the table next to me and saw a beautiful woman sitting alone. She wasn't my normal type, but still beautiful. She looked over at me and smiled so I smiled back. Man, she had some amazing eyes. I decided to go over and talk to her.

"Hi, I'm Colton sorry to bother you just saw you sitting alone and wanted to say hi so yea um hi."

I didn't know why, but she made me all tongue tied. She kept smiling at me. I was never really confident around women. I have always been the shy quiet guy. I used to be skinny and nerdy until I bulked up. Now I guess I'm what women would call sexy. At least that's what I've heard. This woman was making me feel like that nerdy kid all over again.

"Um hi I think your friends are looking for you."

I looked back to see my buddies trying to get my attention. I looked back at the beautiful girl smiled and walked back to them. Once I was seated I looked back and she was gone. I wondered where she went. Did I just imagine her? Maybe I was exhausted and just dreamed the whole thing up in my head. Maybe I needed to go home and get some sleep.

I heard my phone go off, so I looked at it. It was a picture message from Joslyn. I looked at it and was in shock. The beautiful girl from the club was Joslyn. Why didn't she tell me who she was? All I knew was that I wanted her. I only hope she wanted me too.

Joslyn's pov

I loved going to school knowing soon I would be able to help others. Watching my sister die a slow death with cancer made me realize what I wanted to do. If I can help one person that I kept my promise to her. She was my whole world growing up being my protector and big sister. I know she would be proud of me now. It's hard knowing she won't be there to see me achieve my dreams. I was all alone in this world.

At 19 I have never had a boyfriend. Never been kissed let alone anything else. I'm sure guys find me attractive, but I never go for anyone. I never stick myself out there. I believed all my bullies that call me a fat, ugly, worthless nothing. When your told that every day it kind of sinks in. So, I just stay alone. I have a few friends, but not many.

I wish I could meet someone that would love me for me. I just don't think guys like that exist. I have guys want me for sex. They thought just because I was a big girl that I was so desperate I would jump in their bed. I was not a hoe, so I would not give up my v card to just anyone. I wanted it to be with someone I loved. I doubt that will ever happen, but a girl can dream can't she.

So, I joined a dating sight but didn't put up any pictures. I wanted a guy to love me for who I am and not what's on the outside. So, a month ago I started to talk to this guy that just called himself C. I thought it was weird at first but after talking to him and seeing how sweet he was it no longer bothered me.

He made me feel wanted and beautiful. I was scared all that would go away once we met in person. I guess that's why I have held off on sending a pic or meeting in person. I know I am starting to develop feelings for him, so I can't hold off any longer because if he doesn't want me it'll crush me.

Today is his birthday and he's going out to some club with his buddies. That worried me that I would end up losing him. He told me where he would be at, so I decided to dress in the sexiest outfit I had and go with one of my best friends. I didn't know what he looked like, but I would figure all that out once I got there.

Once I got to the club I sat down by a table full of guys. They were all pretty loud and rude. I really hope that C wasn't one of those jerks. If he was I was done with him. Another guy showed up and I couldn't stop looking at him. He wasn't like the others. His smile stopped me dead in my tracks and made me feel things I've never felt before.

My phone went off with a message from C. It was a picture and the name Colton. I about dropped my phone when I looked at the picture. The super sexy guy at the table next to mine was my C. I loved his name it fit who he was perfectly. There was no way that I could send him my pic yet not while he was with all those guys.

His buddies all got up from the table to go hound some women on the dance floor. Colton sat at the table all alone looking at his phone. He looked up then over at me, so I smiled. He smiled back then got up and walked over to me. I was so nervous. This man made me feel things I have never felt before.

He said hi and I didn't know what to do. So, I looked up at him planning on saying something sexy but all I said was his buddies were looking for him. He looked back at them then back at me. It looked like he didn't want to go but he started walking off. Once he did I hurried into the crowd to grab my friend and leave.

Once I was safely in my car I took a pic and sent it to Colton. I was feeling brave and I really wanted him to want me. He was everything any woman could want in a man. I don't get why he's even on the dating site. I mean he is one of the sweetest guys and his smile just melted me.

I was scared that he wouldn't want me now that he has met me, but I was wrong. He messaged me telling me that my eyes had hypnotized him and wondering where I had gone because he looked all over the club for me but couldn't find me. When I told him, I headed home because I had an early morning he said he was leaving as well since the girl he wanted was no longer there.

I couldn't believe this was real Colton wanted me. Once I got home I changed into my pj's and took all my make-up off then laid in bed texting him. He was so sweet and funny. We texted late into the night until we both fell asleep.

Chapter 2

Colton's pov

I haven't been able to get Joslyn off my mind since that night. She was beautiful inside and out. We are still texting each other constantly, and even talk on the phone. We actually have our first official date tonight. I have been asking her out a lot, but she always seemed to have a reason why she couldn't. I just don't want to put my heart into this if she doesn't really like me.

She was so confident that night she talked to me. I wonder where that girl went. We talk for hours on the phone, but the second I bring up seeing each other she tenses. I really like her. I don't want to push her into anything. I feel like a boy with his first crush.

Here I am a firefighter, and this one girl is making me all nervous. My buddies would be laughing at me if they saw how I was acting. I was just glad I was able to trade shifts with my buddy, so I could take Joslyn out. I was afraid if I had to reschedule she would just back out. Once I was dressed I hurried out the door to meet her at Starbucks. Not my ideal place for a first date, but that's where she wanted to meet.

I get she's worried since we met online. I just want her to get to know the real me not my profile in the chat room. I mean we have been talking for some time, but I guess she is still nervous about it all. I stood up when I saw her come in and smiled. She looked beautiful.

"Hello Joslyn, you look beautiful."

She said thank you and blushed. I loved how sweet she was. I was tired of drama queens so someone like Joslyn was a breath of fresh air. It also helped that we had so much in common. We both loved helping people. She actually just got her certificate to be a paramedic which I was proud of her for.

Helping others was just such a rush. She was going to be assigned to a firehouse but didn't know which one yet. As we talked I noticed she kept looking everywhere but at me. I was really feeling like she wanted to be anywhere but with me.

"Joslyn is everything okay?"

"Yes, sorry I am just really shy, and well you make me nervous."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, I am new to this. It may sound funny, but I have never been on a date, or ever had a boyfriend."

"I find that hard to believe since you're so beautiful."

She blushed again and smiled. I loved her smile. It was so pure. I don't know why other guys couldn't see the amazing woman I saw in front of me. I would not make that same mistake. I really liked Joslyn and would love for her to be my girl. Now that I know why she is so distant I will take my time.

I was just worried that she didn't want me. For some reason the thought of not being with Joslyn really bothered me. We sat there for hours then she finally had to go because she had a class. I loved how goal oriented she was.

We made plans to go out to dinner on my next night off. Once we said our goodbyes she seemed a lot more at ease. After I walked her to her car I decided to head to the fire house since I really didn't have anything else to do.

When I got there everything was chaotic. We had a 4-alarm fire, and some of my fellow brothers are hurt. I should have been there tonight. I looked all around for my best friend Colby. He was the one working for me tonight.

We grew up together and became firefighters together. My chief saw me, and I saw the fear and unknowing in his eyes. I knew right away Colby was one of the ones that were hurt. I hurried out of there and went to the hospital. I felt so much guilt in my heart. The only reason Colby was there was because of me. If something happens to him it's all my fault. It should have been me.

Joslyn's pov

When I got home from my date with Colton I felt like I was on cloud nine. He truly was amazing. I don't know why it took me so long to agree to a date with him. He was unlike any other guy I have ever met. He didn't look at me and see this shy "fat" girl. No, he saw someone determined, and goal oriented.

I love the fact that he's a firefighter. He said he does it to help others. For me that means a lot. Being a paramedic has been the one thing I always wanted to do so I can help others. I got a call from my friend Lacey thinking she was going to grill me about my date I quickly picked up. I couldn't wait to gush about Colton. All that flew out the window when I heard her crying.

"Lacey what's wrong?"

"It's, it's Neal. Joslynn, I need you."

Neal was Lacey's husband of four years, and a firefighter. I was hoping to get in with his firehouse since he was the closest thing to family I had along with Lacey. I told her I would be right there. Please just let Neal be ok.

"Where are you Lacey?"

She named off the hospital, and I told her I was on my way. Lacey needed me right now. So many things were going through my mind. The last time I went to a hospital it was to say goodbye to my sister. I couldn't think about any of that now or I would fall apart. I needed to be strong for my friend. Once I got there I rushed into the ER and looked around. There were a lot of fire fighters here along with a ton of people all just standing around looking so sad. I spotted Lacey and hurried over to her.

"Lacey what happened?"

"There was a fire, and it got out of control. All I know is some people are dead. A few firefighters included, and several more hurt."

I felt faint at hearing that. My thoughts instantly went to Colton. He had the night off he said, but did he get called in? I looked at my friend who was now crying uncontrollably. How did this happen?

"So, do you know how bad it is?"

"No, they just told me I needed to come down to the hospital right away. What if he was one of the ones that died? I just found out I'm pregnant. I can't do this alone Joslyn."

I held her as she cried. I know the pain of losing someone. It's something you never get over. I hoped for this unborn babies' sake and for Lacey that they would never have to feel that kind of loss. I looked around at all the sad faces, and my heart ached for them.

So many lives will be changed tonight. It's scary how one event can change so much. My sister dying made me want to be a better person. I worked hard to be the kind of person she would be proud of.

I sit here holding my friend as she awaits her life changing moment. Will she get to hold her husband in her arms once more? Will their baby grow up with both its parent's? Or will she be forever broken just like me? Life never has a guarantee.

I let fear rule my life. Now sitting here seeing everyone cling to hope made me realize how much I needed to live. In the blink of an eye everything you know can be taken from you. I can't let my fear cripple me. Living in fear is no way to live at all.