Unbinding Love

This day made me long for a home outside the walls of my house. Where I don't have to pretend like I don't exist, that everything is okay and that I love the silver tiara that is currently seated on my head. It's funny how everyone surrounding and cheering me on did not notice my tears put out the candles before my breath found the courage to do so.

Birthdays for other sixteen-year-olds was a total bliss but not even the lavish party thrown for me could drown my sorrow. I shove a large piece of cake into my mouth, moaning as the sweet velvet hit my taste buds.

"You sound like a dying whale" my brother's voice interrupts my inner turmoil making me groan. The last thing I needed was someone witnessing my mini breakdown. I love my brother very much, but this was bad timing.

"Go away Thomas" I push him away slightly even though I know it'll have no effect on his huge frame. This only makes him move closer to me before wrapping his arms around me.

"You know I hate seeing you like this" He said into my hair while being careful not to tip over my tiara.

"Don't make this awkward Tom. I'm just a birthday girl trying to eat all this cake" I said and shove a much larger piece of cake into my mouth.

"Has Drew wished you yet?" he asked. My heart sank already knowing the answer was in the negative. I'm sure my brother didn't want to upset me, but I couldn't help the sadness that spread across my chest.

"I'm sure he hasn't. That best friend of mine is an idiot" he scoffed, glancing over to where he was sitting on the couch with Cassie. Both were holding hands while trying to open all her presents which was laughable really because they couldn't get the gift wraps off that way. They looked rather stupid to me.

"He's with the better twin. It's not like I expect him to" I said and shrugged.

"You're the better one" he told me with a stern look "You deserve better anyway, that punk certainly does not deserve you".

"Thank you, Tom" I said, finally returning his hug "But I need you to leave me alone under this table and go mingle with all the businesspeople mum invited. You know she'll get mad if you leave her side for just a minute".

"I hate that you're right. This feels more like a business meeting than a birthday" He looked down at the plate in my hands with a frown "Try not to fill up your entire tummy, I have something planned later for just the two of us" he kissed the side of my head making me sigh in contentment.

"I know" I told him laughing "The big balloons I saw in the gazebo gave it all away".

"You just can't ever be surprised, can you?" he patted my head before finally leaving under the table making me wonder how he stayed that long under the table without having cramps in his legs.

I stuffed another cake into my mouth and looked to the couch where Drew was kissing Cassie which made me look away when the familiar hurt in my chest made itself known. It would've been better if Cassie weren't my twin sister so I wouldn't have to watch her with the boy I was in love with.

Birthdays sucked, or maybe it was just mine. I got up from under the table when I ran out of cakes only to bump into someone. Mum. My eyes widened when the last bit of cake I was holding smeared her designer black dress. I waited for the inevitable.

"You should've remained under the table where you belong" she screamed getting the attention of all the guests around. "Try not to let anyone see you, God knows what a sore sight you are" She said, before walking off, her heels making a clinging sound when it kissed the floor.

I saw Cassie look up at me from the corner of my eyes, but she made no move. It was no surprise this was a disaster for me, like other days before it. I grab the stupid tiara throwing it to the floor on my way out. Funny for me to think a birthday would make my parents pay more attention to me. My fat legs make me walk slowly to the back of our large house near the pool which was a big contrast to the way I imagined storming out of the house in my head.

"Don't come any closer!" a voice snarled, making me stop in my tracks. I scowled at Don when he raised his big head.

"This is my house so I can go wherever I want" I told him, pulling my shoes off my aching feet and sitting at the far end of the pool. Safely away from him.

"A house nobody wants you in" he said, before puffing the cigarette I only just noticed he was holding between his fingers.

I hated Don, I hated him even more because what he said was true and we both knew it. He was nothing like his older brother. Drew was soft, kind, loving, his eyes shone in the sun like he was some god in his former life whereas Don was...Don. Cold hearted, cared about no one, not even himself.

"My parents care about me Don, I wish I could say the same about you" I told him fiercely trying to hide how the truth of what he said was hurting me.

"At least no one threw a birthday for me then not even spare me a glance". He kept his face away from me. I was about to speak when he splashed his side of the pool making water hit my face and wet my gown. The space between us was obviously not safe enough.

"What did you do that for?" I hissed at him trying to wiggle water out of my hair which proved harder than trying to lose all the extra weight I had gained over the years.

"You're ugly Carrie, don't try to pretend otherwise. There's a reason my brother is in there kissing Cassie and not you" he pointed his index finger towards me as hot tears graced my cheeks. I cleaned it up with the back of my hand thinking of all the ways I could kill him. I stood up abruptly, marching to his hunched form and expressionless eyes.

I was about to push him in the pool when he grabbed me and pushed me into the bush behind him. I was about to scream in terror when his hand clamped over my mouth. He pointed at the far end of the pool where I had been seated when I saw my father walk in with Don's father as the dragged a bloodied man with them.

I watched the man beg for his life as my father played with a knife, swishing it in the air as if preparing the man that was knelt on the floor for what was to come.

The three men spoke in hushed voices making it impossible to hear what they were saying. The man on the floor suddenly started shaking his head back and forth. I watched my father with wide eyes as he brought the knife down before slicing through the man's neck severing his head completely.

It was an image that would forever remain in my head. The man's head sputtered blood everywhere and I watched it roll into the pool, turning it red in a matter of seconds. I shrieked unable to contain the horror I just witnessed making both men turn in our direction.

Don groaned from where he was beside me when he realized that I had just blown our cover. He turned me abruptly towards him and grabbed my face as our fathers walked closer to our hiding place. Before I could realize what he was doing he kissed me.

His soft lips caressed mine sending a peculiar tinge down my entire body. He tilted my head so he could have better access. He bit my lip just as the plants covering us was shoved out of the way.

"Father" Don said when he detached himself from me "Didn't realize you guys were here". My father glared at me, his eyes not leaving me once when he grabbed me by the neck. I watched him as he pulled me out, Don calling out to him.

My father's eyes did not look the same, a dark pool had replaced it and all the love that used to grace his face was nowhere to be found. I looked back at Don helplessly unable to wrap my head around what was happening when my vision started to go black but not before I saw the panic on Don's face.

I looked at my dull brown eyes which was a result of the uncomfortable contact lens that I knew was a bad idea but wore them anyway. I was a person now and was going to look every bit of it. My now short hair hung down the side of my head in uneven waves just barely reaching my ears.

I tucked in my crisp white shirt which was no doubt the cheapest in the building into my pants that must've seen better days. My phone kept ringing disrupting what was supposed to be a badass imagination of myself busting into the office that was on the floor above me and shooting my boss in the head. It would have been game over for everyone.

Finally picking up the phone and connecting the call, I spoke "What is it Charles?", Unable to conceal the irritation in my voice. I rummaged through my suitcase that was on the floor leaning into the side of my leg. I needed to make sure the files and fake documents I had in them were not abandoned in the drawer at home.

"What are you still doing in the restroom Carr? You have to be in the office before your boss. Are you trying to ruin the plan? Remember you're not supposed to draw attention to yourself" he said hurriedly only irritating me further. I had everything in control, Charles needed to remember that. I did not need him reminding me the reason I was here, wearing these hideous clothes and pretending to be who I definitely was not.

"Jesus Christ Charles! Give me a break, I know what I'm doing!" I said. I slipped on the glasses I managed to find admis the chaos that was currently my suitcase and straightened up. I didn't need the glasses, but it was going to help conceal any form of recognition. It's not like they would know what I looked like twenty years after they killed me.

"I just don't want you to screw this up, I know how much this means to you. It's been years since you saw them, you might still have a place in your heart for them..."

"Don't worry about that" I said, clenching my fists in anger "They tried to kill me, they almost did. The only thing I thought about all these years was how to hurt them just like they had hurt me. I'm dead to them, soon they would all the dead to me". I removed my hand from the sink not even realizing how hard I had been gripping it until my knuckles turned white. I had to calm my heart before it went overdrive.

"Are you okay Carr?" he asked when I didn't speak for a while. I placed a hand on my chest to ease the pain that was slowly creeping in.

"Did you take your pills?" he asked again.

I quickly fished out two small white pills from my pocket when his question finally registered in my head. I downed them in a second immediately feeling the instant relief it brought me.

"You keep forgetting them" he scolded when he realized I had only just taken them. "You know how you get without them, the last thing I need is you having a full-blown attack in the enemy territory...without me there to help you". He said, whispering the last part.

I clutched my chest tighter despite the relief and counted to ten. It was something my therapist taught me after I had a really bad episode. I hated that I was this weak, that I had to depend on a bunch of white tablets to keep myself sane. To hide who I truly was.

"I'm going up now, get some rest while I work and make sure everything is smoothly. I want the daily reports sent to my email". I disconnected the device before he could say another word and readjusted my mismatched tie. I had to make sure my business was running smoothly because without it, my plan would end before it even had the chance to begin.

It was time for the show and after years of proper planning, my justice was finally at the tip of my fingers. I walked out of the men's bathroom just as an expensive suit wearing man walked in but not without glaring at me. I hated people that were judgmental. Just because I wasn't wearing an expensive suit didn't mean I was worthless or someone he could look down on. I stepped into the elevator just as it was about to close. There was a man standing at the far end, huge sunglasses covering his eyes. Weird. I didn't spare him another glance. We got off the same floor, Me gradually trailing after him making sure to keep my face down. I could get fired here for just looking at someone the wrong way.

"Being late on your first day is not exactly why I hired you" A voice boomed once I stepped into the office making me wince.

"I'm so sorry sir. It won't happen again" I told the tall man standing in front of me. His well-cut beard did nothing to make him look any younger. Instead, it made him look like an old man that was trying to switch back in time. It was hilarious. I barely knew the man, but I was sure I hated him. he was the one that didn't even want me to be interviewed weeks before because he thought I wasn't good fit for the company. It was obvious he meant I was poor and not worthy working with him. all the things I had to endure! I had prayed everyday once I got the job that I wouldn't be working directly under him, God knows there's so much I can take before blowing a person up.

"It better not" he said after looking me up and down, disgust written clearly on his face. "The boss is inside, hopefully he doesn't fire you" he said the last part under his breath before walking away. I made a promise to him that moment. When all this was over, he would be the first man I blew his brains out.

First things first, I had to know who the boss was. There had been a change in administration when my father fell sick. Scratch that, Mr. Gunner fell sick. I said a prayer as I entered the office, not realizing I had been holding my breath until I saw the guy from the elevator seating in the big black chair and sighed in relief.

A part of me had been scared that one of my siblings would take over the company and I'd have to work with them. I could handle them, but this Mr. Sunglasses over here would make my job way easier, but I had spoken too soon.

"You're the new assistant I suppose?" he asked before swirling in his chair, turning his back on me in the process. There was something special about his voice. it was deep, dark, like the depth of the sea. Amongst every other thing, it was familiar, like a long-forgotten melody in my ears. A melody so sad it burnt my ears, just who was this man?

"Yes" I answered with feigned confidence. In the elevator he had just been a random guy, but now that I knew I was going to spend a lot of time together in the same space made me sweat.

"And you're late" he finished, still not turning to me. it was almost like he didn't want to look at me. I didn't think I was a bad sight even while being dressed as a man. He finally removed his glasses, from where I stood, I could see him twirling it between his fingers.

"If it happens again, you're fired" He said. Well, that was okay by me. he finally turned to face me, but that was a bad idea. He should've kept his sunglasses on. Maybe I wouldn't have fainted from suddenly going into panic when I realized who he was.

Don?

It couldn't be. Eyes wide, I was taken back to the night so many years ago. Heads rolling, then his eyes. The same eyes I was looking into now, how terrified that made me. I curled into a ball, he shouldn't blow our cover, father was here, and he just killed a man. He was going to kill me too, we had to get out of here.

There was a problem, I couldn't move but...someone was shaking my body, violently.

"Wake up!" someone was screaming, but it was so far away that I paid it no attention. Just when I was losing myself to the dark someone pulled me out to the surface, their voice ringing in my head.

"What is wrong with you?" an angry voice yelled. I opened my eyes to meet his stormy ones. Why did he have to be the one? I hadn't prepared for the possibility that Don would be running the family company, what happened to my brother? I slipped my hand into my pocket and downed the two pills I had left there.

With a now steady heart and mind I stood up. "I'm sorry for that sir" I apologized, hoping that at this point I wasn't really fired.

He said nothing as he went back to his seat. He only regarded me with uninterested eyes. "Get to work immediately".

I fled after that, confining myself to the small office that was adjacent to his. I started with the files on my desk and worked through all the schedules for Don. The sound of heels gliding across tile stole my attention for a moment.

I looked up to see the brightest red I've ever seen on a woman's hair, against her pale skin it was like fire during winter, it pricked my skin with unforeseeable heat. I didn't know who she was but the air of confidence around her suggested she wasn't someone to be played with.

She stopped in front of me and pulled her sunglasses from her eyes, exposing her pale sea blue eyes that were a contrast to her hair.

"Is Don in?" she asked.

It took a while before I realized her question "Uhm, yeah, he's in" I stuttered, but she laughed it off like it was nothing.

"You're new here" She said, taking a closer look, it was almost like she could see through my façade and deep within into the hate that smeared itself on my heart.

"Yes ma'am" I answered finally finding my voice in the deep pool of her eyes "I'll let him know you're here to see him" I said and stood up.

"Don't worry about it, I'll just go in" she said, flashing her white pearls at me. She strutted past me and went into Don's office. I probably shouldn't have done that, but she seemed harmless and it looked like she and Don were more than just acquaintances.

I listened for voices if Don disapproved of her presence and I was in trouble but none of it came. It was quiet, too quiet for the noisy world that I had been submerged in. Checking for any cameras in the case of me being watched I found none.

I pulled up the records from their database but found nothing out of the ordinary. There was no record of drugs and arms or any illegal activity. Where were they hiding it? If only I could prove that the Zaverelli's were drug dealing monsters that destroyed everything in their way, including their own daughter.

Of course I had not expected it to be easy but I had hoped I would be done with the mission in a week so I could retire to the place I now called home, where I could live for the remainder of my numbered days.

I absentmindedly went through Don's schedule, he had a meeting with a certain important figure in a high-class restaurant. I sent a reminder to his email that was scribbled into the back of my brain. The door opened just in time for me to see Don walk out, sunglasses in place with the woman from earlier absent.

"We're leaving now" he stated simply and walked away towards the elevator. I followed after him, laptop in my bag and a journal in case he needed me to take notes but why was he going several minutes early? Everyone knew Don was someone who never liked to wait.

"Are you coming?" he asked sternly as the elevator doors began to close making me run towards it. I slipped in just in time but in my haste, I lost balance and fell into my boss, his hands coming round me in a warm embrace to keep me from falling, but an act so insignificant unleashed a particular memory I had locked away in the deepest parts of my heart.

His lips. They tormented me more than my father. The things I had felt in those few seconds always rattled my heart and made butterflies flutter in my stomach. But then I always remembered, his panic-stricken face after and the fact that he hated me, just like they all did.

"I'm sorry" I said as I detangled myself from him and stood straighter, adjusting my tie in the process. He said nothing. He didn't even acknowledge the fall or the awkward moment his arms had been wrapped around me. Maybe he did this often, letting his male personal assistants fall into his arms. It hit me then! A scandal, Don involved with his male assistant, a gay relationship. It would ruin a respectable family like his.

The doors dinged when we got to the ground floor. I walked after him making sure to put a decent space between us. I'll rather fall on my butt than into his hands again.

A black sleek limousine was already waiting when we got out of the building, the other staff glaring daggers at me as we passed. I must have looked like filth in their eyes, dressed so shabbily close to their impeccable boss.

I opened the door for him before getting in through the other door and sat opposite of him. He crossed his legs and stayed that way, unmoving, I had to look hard enough to even see the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

He had grown muscular over the years and much taller too. He seemed to be at least 6ft with me barely reaching his shoulders. When we were younger, he was the same height with Drew even though he was the younger brother.

Drew- the name I woke up shouting every night while drenched in sweat and running from my demons. How did he turn out? Did he work at the company too? I didn't know how I was going to act if I eventually saw him. I didn't want to know yet.

I looked back at the man in front of me, our gaze meeting across the car. He held my eyes, searching, trapping, like he did every soul when we were younger.

I tore my eyes away from the magnet that held me steadily to him, putting my focus on the buildings we passed, the people, the closed windows blocking out the noisy street. It was quiet here, peaceful almost but I knew otherwise.

We pulled into the driveway and I was opening his door seconds later. He walked past me and into the dimly lit restaurant which was a huge contrast to the clear bright sky outside.

He walked straight to the back. I could tell that he had been here many times before in the past.

"Here Mr. Don" a waiter I hadn't seen standing there told him. He guided us to the table were an elderly man was already seated. I didn't recognize the man until I was sitting across from him.

"Mr. Warren" Don said curtly in greeting but made no further move to say anymore. The man's gaze fell to me, for a moment I thought I saw recognition in his eye but that was impossible.

I recognized him though, one of my father's closest friends. He had been at my birthday all those years ago and did nothing as the life was snuffed out of me.

"The cargo is on the way" Warren said, pulling me out of my thoughts as I listened.

"What do you intend to do with it? Surely you won't discard it now that your father's not around" he asked.

Don was unmoving as what little light the room had danced on his face. "It will be destroyed, that was the plan" he answered, looking at Warren with a steady gaze, warning him to say otherwise. "My father does not run the business anymore, we do things my own way from now".

"But that brings in half the company's income, do you intend for the family business to suffer?" the man asked, disbelief lacing his words.

"I'm just doing what my father should have done years ago" he said, "And I'll be waiting for anyone that wishes to stop me" Don said. Even I could hear the warning and challenge in his voice.

"I'll let you know when it arrives" Warren said, his voice now detached from the conversation.

"I want to be there myself" Don said but the man replied nothing. They looked at each other for a while, a silent battle that I wasn't part of going on.

"Okay" Warren said finally giving in "Bring your little boy with you".

Don nodded once and stood up. I stood up and waited for him to walk past me before following, but not before giving the man still seated a bitter smile. In a couple weeks he will be toast too, Oh! The joy that will dwell in my heart.

"Not one word you heard leaves your mouth for whatever reason" Don told me as we got back in the car to which I nodded.

We drove but not towards the way we'd come. We kept going for a while, the scenery changing from tall rich buildings to smaller abandoned ones. What were we doing in this part of town? I didn't want to be back here.

Don's gaze shifted to me when he saw my legs twitch in discomfort, but he said nothing. He reached for his pocket and pulled out a cigarette and lighter. The smoke obscured our faces from the other as he blew out the poison that would aid in my death.

I said nothing and tried to make my breathing steady. He didn't stop, not even when I entered a coughing fit. He only did when the car stopped, he stretched his hand out of his now open window and brought it back in before the car zoomed off again.

Realization hit me. He had been smoking on purpose, he didn't want me to see what had transpired between him and whatever had been outside the window waiting for him. what I failed to understand was why he didn't just order me to stay in the office to save himself the trouble.

In a few minutes we were back to the familiar side of town and in no time the company building came into view. I let my gaze wander to appreciate its beauty which would be sent toppling down in a matter of weeks.

Don was holding nothing when he got out of the car, I would have to come back and check the car later for anything I might need as evidence.

Red hair greeted us when we got to the office.

"Oh! Baby, I've been waiting" She said as she flung herself on Don who stood there like a statue, his arms glued to his sides, not hugging her back.

"You shouldn't have" he said and put a lot of space between them "Go home". He walked around her and entered his office, making a point to slam the door shut.

Five seconds was what it took for the red head to breakdown in tears, breaking the awkward silence that had befallen us all. She didn't deserve to be treated like this, but this was expected of Don. He hadn't changed from the hateful, angry kid that I used to know.

I walked slowly towards her, not knowing how to approach. She made the decision for me and threw herself around me. I didn't notice how taller I was until she was hugging me, I hugged her back, stroking her back to provide comfort. She sniffed, tiny drops of her tears sipping into my shirt.

"I don't know what I did to him to make him hate me so" she said in between sobs. I hugged her tighter, wondering the relationship they had. Girlfriend?

"He always tries to push me away, but I want to help him, take the pain from him" she said and stood on her feet, drying her tears with a perfumed handkerchief. Take the pain away from yourself first I wanted to tell her.

"He has never been the same since..." she stopped, catching herself from revealing something she shouldn't but I wanted to know what happened. I had a lot of questions.

"I'm sorry for bothering you" she said, and I smiled to let her know that it was okay.

"Let me get you cab" I said.

She looked longingly at Don's closed door before nodding. I escorted her to the ground floor and got her a taxi, but I didn't go up after that. The car we'd left in was right there, so I decided to have a look.

I slipped a pin from my hair and worked on the keys making sure to stay clear of the CCTV camera that was installed in the parking lot. The door finally clicked open, there was still a stench of smoke lingering in the air but that wasn't my problem.

I reached for under his seat, but nothing was there, I searched the entire car, every corner that I could think of but saw nothing. I closed the door and locked the car before making my way back up.

There was a guy standing in front of my desk when I arrived, he turned to me as he heard my footsteps "These files need to be signed by the boss" he said, dumping them on my table.

"Okay" I said. I waited for him to leave but he stood there still "What?" I asked.

"I and the boys will be going to the café opposite here for lunch. They asked me to invite you" he said, looking at anywhere but at me.

"Sure. I'll be down once I'm done with this", I told him and gestured to the files he just dropped for me.

"Cool" he said before finally leaving but not before casting me one last glance. I gathered the files and was about to knock on Don's door when I heard his voice, so angry and demanding. I opened the door.

The flower vase on his table was now flying across the room when I stepped in. I paid it no mind and dropped the files on his table "These need your signature, I'll be back to collect them before lunch" I said and left, feeling his piercing eyes on my back even as I closed the door.

I called the cleaner up to take care of the mess before returning to read every single file I could lay my hand on. I didn't know particularly what I was looking for, but I searched anyway until my alarm went off. I went back to Don's office and retrieved the files, he didn't look at me once as his head was bent over a document he was studying.

I left it on my desk before making my way to the ground floor so I could join others for lunch. You never know how much information you can get over lunch tables and a bottle of wine.

"You came" the guy I saw from earlier said once he saw me "The name's Frank" he shook my hand.

"Car" I told him.

His eyes shone with confusion "As in car?"

I nodded with a smile and he continued "That's a nice name you've got there" he said

I laughed them, calling off his bluff "Thank you very much kind sir" I said, and he laughed.

"The others are waiting" he said as we walked to the café. I spotted them even before Frank did. Huddled in two boots and already shouting out orders. They were regulars.

We walked over to where they were seated, five of them. "Guys this is Car, Car this is guys" Frank said.

We all laughed at his introduction and I sat down beside Frank as a bunch of hellos were exchanged. Only one man kept quiet through it all.

I met his gaze, watching him as he watched me, recognition beginning to show in his eyes before he uttered the words that drained the blood from my body.

"I know you".