Ultimate Love - A Quest for Lasting Happiness

It was a bitterly cold and silent morning. The day had not yet dawned, and so everywhere was still very dark. The girl trudged along slowly in the darkness, with only the faint glow of some streetlights in the neighborhood to illuminate her way. She didn't come across anybody and if not for the warm and sleeping bundle that was in the basket she held, she could have sworn that she was the only one in the world.

Tears of pain and anguish flowed freely down her face as she moved along towards the park, dreading and hating herself for the horrible act that she was to carry out in the next few moments. She moved slowly and gingerly, trying to minimize the pain that flooded her whole being each time she moved. It was just about four hours since she gave birth to the baby girl who was wrapped in the basket she held.

"It is for the best. I know that someone with a good heart will find her." She thought to herself, trying to console herself and justify the act that she was about to carry out.

The girl was barely more than a child herself. She was still two months away from her sixteenth birthday. Finally, she reached the spot in the park that she had targeted right from when the idea of dumping her baby began blossoming in her mind. It was a place where people would easily see and notice the child and she fervently hoped that it wouldn't take too long before a Good Samaritan found the child. Some days before she was due to give birth, she had dipped into her meager savings and had bought the softest and warmest blanket she could find. The purchase was far more than she could afford but it was the least she could do for the poor child whom she could in no way afford to keep. That blanket was in the house, but she had another one with her which she treasured even more than the one that she had bought with her money and she draped it over the baby now.

Setting the basket down on the ground, she put on the little flashlight in her hand and used it to search the area around where she had dropped the basket for anything that could pose a danger to the baby. As she did so, her tears began to flow in earnest. She would give anything not to do what she was about to do. She looked down at the basket, taking care to keep the full glare of the flashlight away from the child in it. She saw that the little girl had awoken and she seemed to be looking at her with her wide solemn eyes.

"I am so sorry. I would do anything not to give you away. I do hope that you will find someone to love you right." she told the child in a shaky voice, as though she could understand what she was saying.

The baby stared at her young mother solemnly, and as though knowing that her mother was about to abandon her, the child's lower lip quivered pathetically. She let out a whimper and shivered and to the girl, it looked as though the baby was begging not to be left alone in this place. The girl wrapped the blanket more tightly around the baby and readjusted the pink beanie that she had bought for her just days ago on her head, before placing a tender kiss on the baby's mostly covered forehead.

"I am so sorry." She whispered for the last time and began backing away into the darkness. She stumbled, fell, and picking herself up, she turned and ran away as fast as her legs would carry her.

Ethan Douglas glanced cursorily at the clock on his living room wall. It was only a few minutes after five in the evening. It was going to be a very long evening indeed. Staying alone in the house and staring at Mildred's picture made his heart heavy and ache. His youngest sister, Beatrice, who left not quite two hours ago, had come to spend the weekend with him and was supposed to leave on Sunday evening, but something had come up, and she had to leave today, Saturday evening.

"Are you sure that you'll be fine, Ethan?" she had asked him, the brown eyes which were so much like his own filled with worry. He supposed that she had enough reason to be worried. It was the second anniversary of Mildred's death. He had not taken the first one well at all and so he was not surprised when his sister showed up at his door the previous day and informed him of her decision to spend the weekend with him.

"Of course, I'll be fine. Don't worry your little head about it." He told her and smiled sadly at her to reassure her.

However, when she left, the loneliness, pain, and guilt began warring inside him again, and staring at Mildred's radiant smile wasn't helping him at all. When the loneliness began to get too much, he stood up to get something to eat. Beatrice had stocked his fridge with food, and so all he had to do was warm some of it. As soon as he was done warming the food though, he couldn't even bring himself to touch it. He was certain that it tasted good, but his appetite was gone, and so, he grabbed his jacket, got into a cab, and headed to his favorite bar in town to drown his sorrows in the only way he knew how. The bartender, Joe knew Ethan, who was a very regular customer, more so since Mildred died, and he welcomed him cheerfully.

"Hey man. What's up with you?"

"I'm good," Ethan replied. They made polite chitchat for a while before Ethan ordered his drink. He did not need to tell Joe that he wanted the hottest drink available. The man already knew. As a matter of fact, everyone who knew him and Mildred knew. Joe brought over the drink and placed it in front of Ethan without saying a word. For a while, Ethan did not touch it, but rather, stared into the liquid as though it contained all the answers in the universe. After some time, he downed the contents of the glass in one go, savoring the burn as it rushed down his throat. He was on his third drink when giggles from across the room captured his attention. He looked over to see a group of blonde women, about four of them, glancing in his direction and giggling with each other as though they were high school girls who had just sighted the hot football captain of their school.

Ethan nodded politely at them and turned away to focus on his drink. Ever since Mildred had died exactly two years ago on this day, he had not so much as looked at any other female, and he was not about to start now. He took a sip of his drink and was swirling it in his mouth when a shadow appeared in front of him. Although he did not want to, Ethan looked up to see one of the girls who had been giggling earlier standing in front of him. She was wearing a short, red dress that exposed her cleavage and showed off her long legs quite nicely. He wondered if it was the alcohol, but she looked so much like Mildred. They had the same shape, blond hair, and blue eyes. Seeing Mildred's lookalike on this day was not helping matters at all and Ethan wished that the girl would go away, but he did not want to appear rude. He nodded at her in acknowledgment and wished that she would take the hint.

"Hi, I am Madison." The girl said, and without waiting for an invitation, she slid into the seat in front of him.

Ethan looked over at the table where she had been sitting and saw that her friends had left. He was not in the mood for conversation with a stranger and was wondering the best way to tell her this when she spoke.

"Look, you don't look like you're up for a conversation right now, and that is ok. I do not mind the silence. It's just that my friends want to leave, and I'm not ready to leave now, neither do I want to sit by myself. That is why I came over here. What's your name by the way?"

"Ethan." He mumbled half-heartedly.

"Cool. It's nice to meet you, Ethan." Madison said all sunshine and joy, things that he was not in the mood to feel at that moment.

"What are you drinking?" Ethan asked, making a tremendous effort to be polite even though all he wanted was to be left alone.

"It's just club soda. Nothing as fancy as what you are drinking." She said, winking at him and leaning over to inspect his drink. Even her perfume was one that Mildred liked a lot and used often, and he groaned inwardly. It seemed that his ex-fiancée's ghost was haunting him today, and he supposed that he deserved it. Everything kept reminding him of her.

"Are you going to say something, or are you just going to keep quiet?" Madison asked. "I can talk for the both of us if you'd rather be silent."

Ethan laughed a little, feeling slightly better, but still not in the mood to talk. They sat in silence, and he downed shot after shot of his liquor while she sipped her soda and stared at him. Ethan supposed that it would seem weird of him not to talk to this blonde beauty, who was clearly interested in him, but he couldn't be bothered to do that, and besides, she didn't seem to mind at all. By the time he was sufficiently drunk, he got up unsteadily and nodded at her as he dropped enough cash to pay for both their drinks and tip the bartender too. It felt like he had been nodding politely all evening and his head ached as though it was going to explode any moment from now. Joe the bartender came over at that moment and looked Ethan over with some concern.

"I have to go, Allison. It was nice meeting and drinking with you." Ethan informed her, slurring his words.

"It's Madison, and where exactly are you going? You are in no mood to drive."

"Yeah. Perhaps I should call you a cab." Joe said to Ethan, agreeing with Madison.

"Gotta take a cab."

"That is not necessary, Ethan. I'll drive you home. I've got my car here with me. Don't worry, he's safe with me, Joe." Madison said quickly, hoping that Ethan would not object.

Ethan was too drunk to care or think, so he followed her out of the bar and got in her car with her. The last time he had drunk to a stupor like this was a year ago to the day. Before that, it had been during his wild college years. He fell asleep and was not aware of anything else until he felt soft hands shaking him and Madison's voice insisting that he wake up.

"Ethan, we're here."

"Where's here?" He asked, forcing his eyes open. It felt as though the weight of the whole world was resting on them.

They were in front of a brightly lit and impressive-looking house with manicured lawns. Ethan slowly unbundled himself from the car and with an unsteady gait, followed Madison into the house, his head pounding furiously every inch of the way. She supported his weight and led him carefully into the house otherwise, he would have fallen flat on his face.

"Do you live alone? This is very wrong. I should have just gone straight home." He said as soon as he entered the house and plopped himself onto the first sofa that he saw. It was very comfortable and Ethan was sure that he could close his eyes and go to sleep forever on it.

Madison raised an arched eyebrow at his question. "What is wrong about it? We're both adults. Don't worry though, I'm not about to jump you in your drunken state. I might jump you if you weren't drunk though." She finished and waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"You do not understand," Ethan mumbled and then promptly fell asleep.

Madison smiled at him and wondered if she should wake him up to go to the bedroom and get more comfortable. She decided against it though. He looked very comfortable where he was, so she would just leave him there. Besides, she was not sure that she could struggle with dragging a drunk and sleepy 6'3 guy around the house.

The man was just as handsome as she had thought, even as he was sleeping with his mouth wide open. She really liked him and saw him around regularly, but he never seemed to notice her. His place of work was close to hers, and she saw him often at a restaurant that was close to their offices. From the way he had responded to her this evening when she had walked up to him, she was certain that he did not know of her existence. It was such a shame.

"That is about to change though," she thought to herself as she stared down at his sleeping form. He was so handsome, and she would soon make him hers. No man could resist her, after all.

***

Ethan came awake slowly, opening his eyes and then closing them against the bright sunlight that shone on his face and hurt his eyes. He lay still and looked up at the ceiling above him. It was an unfamiliar one and as he processed this, the events of the previous night came flooding back to him. What exactly had he done? He had followed a stranger, called Madison, or something like that to her house. As he thought about this, he sat up with the slowness of an old man whose back had carried his weight and the weight of his problems over decades. He wasn't feeling as bad as he deserved after all that he had drunk, and he supposed that he should be grateful for that fact. Shaking his head a little, he looked around the room in which he was sitting. It was a spacious and tastefully decorated room if you liked bright pink. Almost everything in it, including the curtains, rug, furniture, and even the television and stereo sets were pink...and expensive-looking. As he was looking around, Madison came over from what he assumed was the kitchen with a steaming mug of coffee.

"Hey. You're awake. Morning." She sang, all sunshine and cheer.

"Morning," Ethan replied and gratefully took the mug that she proffered. Even the mug was pink. "Listen, I'm very grateful to you for bringing me over to your house last night, especially with the state that I was in. I'm so sorry for how the night went. I was battling some issues and I guess I got carried away." He did not add that he always got carried away every February 23rd for the past two years and drank until he got so drunk that someone could have carried him away and dumped him in a furnace without him knowing anything about it.

"It's okay," Madison said with understanding and pity in her eyes. That pitiful look was what he couldn't stand at all. It was the look many people had given him after the accident. 'Poor, poor Ethan whose fiancée had died so horribly in that awful motor accident just two weeks to their wedding.' Ethan hated that look with passion. What did she think? That he was an alcoholic who did not know how to control his drinking? He got up abruptly, thanked her again, and then left despite her protests and suggestions that he should at least have something to eat before leaving.