UNDAUNTED

Claire Willows walked home from school like she bore the entire weight of the world on her shoulders. She was strained beyond measure and the laughter from the rest of her mates simply rang like a large bell in her ears. She had done it again by successfully blowing her last chance at having a future. It meant no college for her thanks to her dumb brain. All these years, she had struggled to get through each class and despite the fact that she never gave up trying, it seemed knowledge itself had given up on her.

No matter how hard her effort to push through was, she simply could not make it through. At this point, she was the oldest in her current class and the most timid. Getting bullied by the little ones had become just the thing for her.

Claire was dyslexic and had been born that way. Her mother was a rather brilliant scientist and had bore her to another genius mind. Her father was a writer. It was such a wonder how such great minds had managed to bring into the world a child with no brains. Her parents had divorced when she was only three and her mother had taken her with her to San Francisco. Apparently, she had been expecting a lot from her daughter but all Claire seemed to be bringing her was embarrassment.

Saint George's was Claire's eighth school and everytime she moved from one school to another, it was because she had grown too big for her class and the other children would not leave off bullying her. Jane whom had remarried was rather tired of Claire and her troubles. This was the last straw. It was Claire's last chance to graduate from high school. Jane had made it absolutely clear that if she was disappointed one bit again, she was definitely sending her back to her dad.

On better circumstances, Claire would have been more than excited to finally give the woman a bit of what might be termed breathing space but then, she had not heard from her old man for the past ten years. He did send gifts on her birthday but never called to hear from her or check on her. The last time she hi and seen him was when she was thirteen and it was only because he had a book launching activity in San Francisco. She heard nothing else from him and did her best not to look him up. Being in high school at the age of twenty three was never something she planned for herself but then, she had to accept her fate. Claire walked inside the house and was about making for the stairs. She wanted to be in the comfort of her room and remain there to cry her eyes out. The television was on and she could only guess that either her mother or her boyfriend was around. She did not want to see either of them and be reminded of what a failure she was. But regardless, if she was to pick between her mother and Tom being in, she would rather pick Tom. He never really scolded her or called her names directly but she could tell from the look in his eyes that he pitied her for being an halfwit.

That was what Claire would never accept, pity. She was not looking for handouts of pity but rather wanted a break from being forced to read when it was obvious her brain would certainly betray her. Perhaps that was the very reason why she hated Tom. He pitied her and only stepped in for her out of that pity. Claire was no halfwit, she would remind herself each and every other time. There had to be something she was good at and all she needed was time to discover it.

"Claire? Is that you?," her mother called from the sitting room.

Speak of wanting to disappear immediately and that would be what Claire wanted at the moment. Of all times to be home, it was on the worst day of her life. Earlier that day, it had been the teacher mocking her in front of all those students as he called her to come receive her scripts. Now, she had to be subjected to another stage of mouth lashing from her mother. Could her life get any worse, Claire wondered as she dragged herself to the sitting room. Her mother was seated there working on whatever little device she was toying with. Yes, she probably brought her little machines home sometimes to remind her how different she was from her. Claire swallowed as she formed a greeting in her head which she managed to voice out in a whisper.

"Hello mother," she said.

Jane simply nodded and stretched out her hand for the scripts. Claire acted like she did not understand her or was just dumb.

"Well, where is it?," the woman asked her.

Claire heaved heavily and brought down her bag hanging on one of her shoulders. She fiddled inside it for a while and found the scripts.

"Here," she said inaudibly as she handed her the scripts.

Her mother said nothing more to her as she began going through them all. Her brows burrowed into a frown. She stood up glaring at her daughter.

"This time, you managed to get all the answers wrong Claire. Not even a single tick," she said.

Claire said nothing but tried to push away the weird thoughts crossing her mind. She reminded herself that she was already used to this. Like who gets used to hate. Her mother angrily began tearing up the scripts causing Claire alarm.

"Mother...?," she called out to the woman reaching for the pieces of paper but her mother shot her an angry look.

"Mrs Jane to you young lady. How can you be such a disappointment to us all. You couldn't take after me and you still could not take after your pathetic father...," she began ranting

"But...," Claire tried to speak admit the pain she was feeling in her heart now. Tears we're already streaming down her cheeks.

"Oh there comes the tears. Listen to me, you would go up there and pack up your bags. I am sending you back to your father at first light the day after tomorrow. Maybe he would have use for you after all." She said coldly as she walked around the crying girl.

Claire managed to pick up the pieces of paper and went to trash them in the trashcan. She overhead her mother speaking to someone on the phone and guessed it was her father but they seemed to be arguing. The looks of it was that no one wanted her obviously. She was only a pest. She walked upstairs to her room where she remained all through crying. No one came to check on her, no knocked on her door either. She was alone in the world.

She woke up that day feeling like hell and walking to her to her bathroom, Claire discovered that she sure looked like hell. Her face was rather puffy from crying herself to sleep and her head banged heavily. She turned on the faucet and began washing her face hoping to look better but when she looked up, it was clear she was going to look horrible all day. She made up her mind not to go out until she was certain everyone was out of the house. She began brushing her teeth and had a quick shower before going to sit on her chair in the room.

All that was crossing her mind at the moment were questions and thoughts of what might be wrong with her. She had tried her best and even now tried to pick the book by her side which had been sitting in the room for years now. The more she looked at it, the less she understood what it was saying. Her case was actually that extreme that it would take her a very long time to make out words. What baffled everyone was that save for the fact that she could not make out anything, Claire had a powerful memory.

She heard things being taught and would be able to recount it like a computer but when it goes down to the business of putting it down in writing, she flopped. It was not intentional act on her side but she just could not conjure up words to describe in writing what she had in mind. Several times it had been recommended that her mother take her to a psychologist but Jane would rather cease breathing than go through the shame of having her daughter visit a shrink. That would be uncalled as well as unheard of. She was not going to risk being called the mother of a dullard by the media. Then at a point, one of her teachers back then had asked that Claire be taken to a special school. Her mother of course had refused saying that there was nothing special about her daughter who had just decided not to learn.

Right now, fresh tears began pouring from her eyes as she was trying to read the novel. Each time she looked at it, it seemed like a part of her brain was getting torn apart and the words dancing causing her to go dizzy. Claire slammed the book shut and threw it across the room. She put her head on her desk and resumed crying when there was a knock on her door. She sat up and listened but her mother obviously was not willing to set eyes on her.

She began leaving instructions that Claire was not to set foot outside of the house and was to make sure everything they had discussed was being done. She would not want to get back and find that she was still not done. What a mother, Claire thought as she heard her receding steps from her door. She overhead Tom asking her mother if Claire was okay but she did not hear anything from her mother. She heard the door slam shut and an engine start. She walked over to her window as she watched Tom pull away the car with her mother inside. There were two cars but since they worked in the same establishment, the two would always go to work together in the same car. They deserved each other but she could not say what she deserved. She decided to step out of her room finally and get something to suite her growling stomach.

Claire walked into the kitchen and stood watching and thinking about what she was going to do. Yes, this was her favourite thing to do, cooking. Somehow it seemed to be the only thing she does that takes her mind off her troubles. Something rubbed itself on her leg and she looked down to find Miller. He was mewing and obviously hungry. The cat was her best friend in the whole world and was the last give she received from her mother years ago. Perhaps, that was the only reason she did not entirely hate Jane, she was mean as a hornet but still had given her solace. Although Claire was certain that if the woman discovered what the cat means to her, she would not hesitate to get rid of it.

Claire smiled and bent over to pat him on the head. She walked over to the refrigerator and fetch a box of milk which she always kept for him. She was certain that her mother did not feed the cat as always and went to pour out a good quantity for him. While he fed, she went back to the kitchen area. It was time she checked her banging head and puffy eyes before getting something ready to eat. Claire took some pieces of ice which she put in a clean piece of clothing before dabbing her forehead and under her eyes with it. She went to seat by the work island as she placed it on her forehead allowing the cool effect send her to a world so calm and perfect. Eventually she began feeling better and the ice began melting, it had been a while before she eventually got rid of the things she was using. It was time to get down to the business of cooking.

She went upstairs to fetch her phone and headset. Putting up her favourite music Claire began performing the wonders she always did in the kitchen. Left for her, she would have become a chef as that obviously was her calling. By the time she was done fixing herself a good sandwich for breakfast, she felt satiated.

A thought crossed her mind. Dark thoughts actually, she wanted to go upstairs and pack up. The only difference was that she was not going to wait for her mother, she was only going to sneak away from the house. But then a counter thought crossed her mind as well, it was of things she had seen on television sometimes about how a teenager tries to get away from her parents and end up with a serial killer. She did not want to wind up dead somewhere with her guts spilling all over. She was going to pack up however but that would be after tidying up the area.

She had just dropped the dishes in the sink when the telephone began ringing. It ran over and over again that she was really frustrated and went to answer. Everyone who knew her parents well would understand just where they would be at that time of the day. She yanked the receiver and put it in her ear.

"Hello?," she said

"Claire?," the familiar voice she had not heard in so many years said

"Dad?," she called surprised to her bone marrow.

Claire could not believe her ears that she was actually speaking to her dad. She was dumbfounded and lost her voice immediately. Her father was saying something but she could not hear anything as her thoughts were clouded. She could not believe he was the one over the phone until then Mr Willows must have noticed she was not listening to him anymore. He started calling her name, it too three calls to get her back to her senses. She asked him what he had been saying and he asked her if she had a problem. Claire obviously said no as she did not want him knowing any of her problems.

She began explaining to him that she only exhausted and reminded him that her mother was at work at the moment. Mr Willows said he understood and had actually called because he knew she would be home at the time. This sounded unrealistic as she did not seem to believe that her father had called her directly. Thinking about it now, Claire was certain that there had to be a catch to him being nice to her, she only needed to hear from the horses mouth. She asked him to state whatever it was now he got her attention. Mr Willows took a deep sigh like he was actually finding it very hard to say what it was that was on his mind. Claire had caught on that something bad was coming up next.

Mr Willows began explaining that something had come up and he was rather not certain Claire would be comfortable staying with him in his own house. He had extra buildings however and was willing to give up one for her to stay. Claire could not believe her ears that even her father whom had not seen her for years still was not going to want her around him. She asked him what the matter was exactly but he would not say. Claire began speaking that she would not mind so long as she gets to stay with her father. Mr Willows groaned in frustration and told Claire that she would not understand the situation which he was trying to prevent.

"Willows, is that Claire?," a female voice said from the other side of the phone.

Claire wondered exactly who that was. Her father had begun muttering to whomever was on the other side of the phone and then it seemed the phone was taken away from him. Claire still waited when the lady took the phone from him and said hello to her. Claire managed to say hello to her and she asked her if she really was coming to stay. Claire managed a yes and there was a brief silence on the other side. She was still there as Claire could hear her breath. She asked the girl how long she was going to stay and Claire told her that she had no idea.

"Come on Lucille, give me the phone." her father said from the other side

"Let me finish Willows. Claire are you there darling?," she asked

"Yes ma'am." Claire said

"We would be expecting you then." the woman said without emotion and hung up.

Slowly Claire replaced the receiver as lots of thoughts went through her mind as the obvious truth was beginning to surface right in front of her. It was clear that her father had remarried but what she was not sure about was whether or not it was the reason why he had stopped talking to her all these years. Another question was if they had kids together and whether her father was happy with his new family.

Claire stalked to her room and crumbled on her bed as she was in so much dilemma. She wanted to find out things and know things about her father so badly. All along she had been avoiding it so making up her mind, she walked into her parents room. She had earlier taken a piece of paper wrapping that had his full name and details. She was not certain if she should be doing it but regardless, Claire opened the computer which was something her memory had encoded. This was a process she pretty much remember from all the computer classes. She found the search icon and began imputing his name which she copied letter by letter gradually from the wrapping. I told you earlier that her dyslexia was that bad.

As soon as she was done punching in the name, she clicked on search as she had seen her teacher do. She waited a little and it did open but looking at the words, she could not make anything out which why she went for her favourite option in the computer, images. As soon as it opened, the images related to the name appeared as well. Claire began scrolling through until she found her father's pictures which she clicked on. She had missed him so much and he had even grown his beard. She was mesmerized by his smile and started scrolling down when she saw a picture of him holding a lady. Claire opened that one too and started scrolling down again. It did not take long for her to happen upon their wedding pictures. She clicked on one and was horrified at what she saw when she scrolled down. He did have children after all and from his absolute smiling face, he was happy about the world he had built. His new family obviously satisfied him.

Claire felt fresh tears in her eyes. She just put off the computer and disconnected the switch before leaving the room. Once in her room, Claire sat down deep in thoughts about what he had been saying to her over the phone. She was at the crossroads at whether or not she should take his offer and go stay in one of his houses as suggested. No, she was no quitter, she had to stay by her father and maybe be certain he no longer wanted her around him. Only then would she leave his family house.

Claire put herself together and got off her bed. It was time for her to get busy and into her business of packing up. She did not want her mother to get back and start hassling her over her not packing up.

By the time she was done clearing her wardrobe and putting her things together, Claire felt exhausted. She went to get a quick nap before she would go downstairs and make dinner. It had to be something special as it was the last time she would be cooking in the house. Her mother never really appreciated it but she always did anyway hoping that someday things would readjust. Well, it was obvious she had been wrong after all. Things did not change and she was getting kicked out of the house instead.