Trials of Heart

It was almost dawn. I'm trying my best not to get drunk while I'm holding the bottle of liquor. My attention is on the band performing in front of the stage. The vocalist sang my favorite song that caught up my attention.

I'm at the Lacoona Bar where I can find peace and where pain can be soothed even just for seconds.

"Xyler?! Where the fuck are you?"

My phone kept on ringing as I grabbed it from my pocket. Cassandra speaks on the phone, obviously mad at me again. I'm used to it. It's good that I can't hear her voice clearly as the loud music coming from the stage's speakers, drums, and microphone filled every corner of the bar.

"What? I can't hear you. Is there something urgent?" I answered, yelling on the phone as the loud music invaded my ear. She is still talking madly so I automatically hang up the call.

Despite my dizziness, I managed to message Louisa, my close friend from college, whom I always contact whenever I'm good or lost. I feel like I need to talk to her. I just want someone to listen to my rants tonight, not a lady who would just nag me for not coming home.

"Join with me" I texted. After a few minutes of waiting for a reply, I received nothing. Maybe she's already sleeping at this moment. It's not a good idea to wake her up this late at night.

While waiting for something to happen, I didn't notice that people were gradually exiting the bar. I and the rest of the performers were still inside. They are about to leave so I decided to head now to the parking lot.

I don't intend to return home at this time. My vision is spinning and I can't drive myself alone. I guess it would be better to stay here inside the car while waiting for the sun to rise. It is approximately 4 am in the morning.

I'm sure Cassandra would kill me because she is demanding as she carries our baby in her womb. The pregnant lady is kind of manipulating me and to be honest, I don't like it. I had no choice but to spend the night inside my car. Alone. And random thoughts lingered inside my head. I'm still sane and I know it. But I would prefer to waste my time alone. At least I had time to reminisce and talk to myself.

The sun has risen. Still, my eyes are wide open due to a lot of uncontrollable thoughts that kept on bugging me off. I was staring at the street lights through the car window. Some fast-food restaurants, coffee shops, and gyms are starting to open. People at this early morning have their job while I have no plans to move in my position. It was as if I wanted to stick myself here inside. My days keep on repeating and only the morning wakes me up in reality. That's why I prefer the moon over the sun. Unfortunately, I have no chance to escape from the responsibilities and agreement with Cassandra's family. To be a father soon of my child while my life is completely a mess.

"Hey! Xy?" The young lady called my name from afar. However, I couldn't recognize her. Maybe it was the effect of being drunk and not getting enough sleep.

She came close to my car window and handed me a cup of coffee and bread. I noticed that she was wearing gym clothes, probably for a workout.

"How did you find out I was here?" I asked in confusion.

"Your car?" Louisa answered in uncertainty. Her lips curved a smile, laughing at my situation right now like she always does.

I grinned. There's no way to ask her as she always knows my destination regardless of where I am located myself.

"Is that for me?" I looked at the coffee she brought. I admitted I'm craving some breakfast this morning.

"Nope. Only if you refused not to take these." She offered. I took the coffee and bread from her hand.

"I read your text last night. My bad, I had seen it just in the morning." She gave me an apologetic remark like it was a big deal for me. "Maybe next time?"

"It wasn't a big deal anyway besides I enjoyed hanging out alone," I assured her not to feel guilty.

We had a lot of conversation while I was sipping the coffee, which she had bought for me. She saved me from starving. She also asked me why I was at the Lacoona Bar again. I explained that I was bored at home.

Although she wasn't convinced, she didn't ask for anything else. I'm sure she figured it out.

"Are you going somewhere, Lou?" I asked. I had thought of going home.

"Yup. Uh... See you around?" she said in delight. I nodded and shut the car window.

I drove myself back to my apartment, My home. I slid the key to the door to open and straightly headed to the sofa to fall asleep and had no time to pick up the bottles, clothes, and instruments that were scattered on the floor. I was too drowsy, tired, and dizzy. I slept for too long and hadn't noticed the time ticking at 3 in the afternoon. I get up to cook myself lunch. I then picked up my pieces of stuff that were cluttered on the floor before I went for a cold shower. Later on, I will visit Cassandra with her family.

I was about to put my clothes on when I heard someone knocking on the door. I didn't order something, who's here? I immediately covered the towel off my half body, hurrying to walk close to the door. As I opened it, Xymon in his business attire showed up in front of me. My twin. I asked him to come inside while I'm lazy drying my wet hair on the towel.

"What are you up to, Mon?" I asked him straight forward.

"Don't you tell....you forgot? there's something to celebrate on Wednesday." He asked back, leaning his arm on the sofa. I was trying to remember what's important for tomorrow but I failed.

"You seem like a newborn." He teased me.

"Come on, Dude. I'll be going out. What's that?" I impatiently asked him because he was consuming my time.

"If I tell you it's Mom's birthday, would you come home on her day? She'll throw a simple party. " I shifted my reaction in surprise. I'm not sure if she wants my presence, after all, knowing that we're not good and Xymon was the most favorable among the two of us.

"I'll try," I answered, definitely uncertain.

"It should be a yes." He insisted. "Anyway, you can bring your friends" He added, about to leave.

After Xymon decided to leave, The thought of attending Mom's birthday is kind of ironic to me. Xymon never gets tired of making a way for mom and me to be compatible with each other as if he wasn't aware mom dislikes me since then. A simple dislike became hatred when my father died and accused me that it was my fault all along. That was why I chose to leave our home and get my apartment using Dad's savings that he put aside for me. It's better to rely upon myself.

I abruptly went back to what I was doing. Then I fixed myself reluctantly and walked to where I had parked my car. I received a message from Cassandra so I immediately brought out my phone and read it.

God! What happened to her. To my anxious, I drove quickly, faster as I could. I didn't notice an old lady was passing by on the street. I instantly turned left in my direction and unexpectedly got collided with the car.

As I opened my eyes, I roamed my vision around the room. I tried my best to get myself up but then I was still weak. The door opened. A lady wearing casual attire came in and walked towards me, looking anxious.

"Glad that you woke up. Are you okay?" Louisa frantically asked. I wonder how she knew that I got in an accident.

"Yeah, Don't be so exaggerated. I'm still complete." I Joked. She looked pissed off as she patted me on my shoulder because of my response.

"Ouch! Don't be so hard." I frowned. This woman was ruthless.

"Just be thankful for airbags." She rolled her eyes, fooling around.

"Anyway, You have been discharged and your bills paid," she informed me.

I was grateful for that idea but She didn't need to do that. I can pay for it by myself. Nonetheless, It's not her first time to help me without a cost. But this time, I don't want to depend on others' feet.

"I'll pay you back right after," I promised.

"No, It's not me. The doctor said someone paid it off. "

I got curious about what she said. Who was that someone? Louisa just shrugged and changed our conversation.

The next second day, I finally got released from the hospital. I couldn't stay there for long. I immediately opened my phone. As I expected, a random missed call and a heap of message notifications popped up on my screen. Most of them were from Cassandra. I swiped them all and had no plan of reading them.

I know she's waiting for my existence but I didn't come to the reason of gaining my strength due to that small accident. It seems that she was in a better condition than what happened to me last time.

Cassandra is well-known for her ability to spin a yarn and manipulate others according to her will. I was the unlucky guy that became her victim and had no chance to run away from her.

In just a few minutes, Xymon made a call. He asked if I could bring myself to our mom's birthday party later that night. I almost forgot it was today. I was kind of hesitant at first, but Xymon insisted that was why I had no chance to recede. He said he will be glad if I at least attend dinner if I don't want to finish the party.

I suddenly remembered Louisa if I could invite her. While preparing my attire, I messaged her that I will pick her up so we could arrive together at the party. I informed her that it was my mother's birthday party.

She knew my mom but hasn't yet met her in person as well as my brother. She was complaining about why I didn't tell her much early so she had the time to prepare her clothes and pick a gift for my mom. She said she would be uncomfortable with the thought of not having anything to offer for the first time of meeting my family. I assured her it was okay and we can go to the mall first to buy some gifts if she wants.

"Don't be picky on what to wear, it's just a simple party. We won't stay there for too long." I spoke, laughing at her.

She's a kind of undecided woman when it comes to clothes. I knew it since we were in college. She was always late when attending meetings, even a friend's hangout because of being picky as if she didn't have a lot of dresses in her wardrobe.

"Can you pick between these"? She suddenly made a video call out of nowhere just to show the two dresses placed on a hanger she was holding. "Be honest, Please!" She pouted, begging for help.

" This one." I pointed at the color red on the left side. They were both red dresses so I wasn't sure if I selected the right one that perfectly suits her.

"Are you serious?!" She asked. Her eyebrows raised at me, obviously not agreeing.

"What?! You said I'll be picking. I just did my job. Besides, none of these suits you. Maybe you can wear them both." I was having fun with her reaction. She was obviously annoyed with me.

"Okay, I'll wear this." She got the blue dress behind her and showed it to me. God! She was really confusing! I Thumbs up saying that it was good.

The video call had ended and I started to bathe. Afterward, I fixed myself and sprayed the perfume around my body. I dressed casually for a simple occasion, wearing a blue long-sleeved dress shirt with jeans and black shoes. I was going to look good in it.

Until now I was still uncertain how I would greet Mrs. Wilton. Is she aware I'll be going? Likewise, I was planning to leave right after I handed the gifts to my brother. I had the guts that on her special day, it might have been ruined because of me. Seriously, I don't want to add a lot of causes like what she had always slammed on me.

Before I forgot, I left my apartment, headed to the parking lot. It was around 6 in the evening and we seemed to be late before we arrived because we were going to buy gifts. I wished we wouldn't take too long, especially Louisa.

I swiftly drove the car, heading on where Louisa was, and when I reached the Sole building, I called her on the phone right away so she would be informed that I was waiting downstairs. I was standing patiently, leaning my back on the car and getting bored. Few more minutes before She got down. I gasped. This woman's really!

"Hey, who says I'm not pretty?" The beautiful lady walked in my direction, waving her hands in excitement with her blue dress.

"No one says you're pretty," I smirked and opened the car's door beside the driver's seat. Her Forest green eyes sneered at me. She went inside the car still looking pissed off as she didn't utter anything.

"You look beautiful just tonight," I said as I noticed that her smile had faded, however, her reaction remained. Silence creeps into us. Is she really mad? Before I completely ruin her mood I compliment her once more. I sighed.

"If my brother sees you, I'm sure He will get interested in you instantly."

I was just looking straight ahead in front while saying those words. I noticed that she was stifling her smile when I looked at her. Good thing I easily changed her mood.

I started to open the engine and left with Louisa. We then stopped at the Giftop Shop where any kind of gift that you bought here is perfect for anyone. There are bundles of flowers, key chains, mugs, accessories, and such. Louisa was waiting to finish the free gift-wrapped. I let her pick a gift for me since I had no time to look at it. I was waiting here at the table when suddenly Cassandra called on the phone.

"When do you plan to show up, huh? Don't dare to forget that you might be a father soon, Xy. I can put you in jail if you don't. Are we clear?" She said desperately and threatened me. She's a demon. I didn't have the urge to argue with her so I hung up the phone call without saying anything else.

"Hey, I'm done!" She walked close to me, carrying the gifts she bought. I nodded to her. "What does she say?" Louisa asked even if I didn't say something. She knew if my mood shifted or she got a small response from me.

"Nothing, Let's go" I smiled at her. "It's a long way to drive before we get there."

I stopped the car in front of the mansion's gate. Our home when we were complete. The guards widened the gate as I drove the car inside the huge space. I thought they wouldn't recognize me but they greeted me, calling my name "Sir, Xyler Wilton" that was exactly my name.

They also welcomed Louisa, thinking it was my girlfriend. After I parked, I got out of the car and opened the door for Louisa. She said she was nervous as she wasn't informed that the party would be grandiose than what she expected. If she only knew we were on the same page of thoughts. Was it the simple party that Xymon told?

"Don't be nervous. I'm here" I tried to calm her down. I noticed her eyes sparkled in amusement and were nervous at the same time.

"Y- you haven't mentioned it before." She said, looking unbelievable at what she saw right now.

"The what?" I asked and took the gifts from her.

"All of these. I...I just can't believe it." She said, still amused.

"You didn't ask so, why would I tell you?" I chuckled and shouldered her so she at least eased the nervousness. "Come on."

Lots of the guests I saw were businessmen and celebrities when we came inside. Some of them are dad's friends so while I was looking for our table, We were interrupted by some visitors who greeted us.

"Hey! Hey! I thought you wouldn't come." Xymon came close to us and tapped my shoulder. He then made a welcomed kiss to Louisa.

"Wish granted?" I playfully grinned at him.

"Mind if you introduce this gorgeous woman, Brother," I noticed Xymon staring intently at Louisa.

"Hi, I...I'm Louisa Georgin" Louisa pleasantly introduced herself. Xymon offered his hand and Louisa reached it.

"Oh, Nice meeting you Miss Georgin, I'm Xymon Wilton. Xyler's twin."

Louisa abruptly gets off his hand from Xymon.

"Can you accompany her to give these to Mrs. Wilton?" I requested, handed him the gifts. "And by the way don't tell her that I'm here." I patted Xymon on his shoulder. Louisa looked at me as she wanted to assure me if I was okay. I just smiled.

"Why not? Okay, if you wish, Let's go, Ms. Georgin." Xymon and Louisa left me on the table.

I was looking at them, heading on the other side. There, I saw my mom talking to her acquaintances when Xymon and Louisa approached her and successfully gave the gift. I was observing them from afar while drinking the red wine. They were fine talking to each other while Xymon introduced Louisa to my mother as his friend or whatsoever, I guess. Afterward, Louisa and Xymon soon reached the table where I was seated.

"Mom looks interested in you Ms. Georgin," Xymon said in delight.

It was what I expected. Louisa is a captivative lady and easy to get along with. It's impossible she wouldn't be caught by anyone at first sight.

"Uh, Thank you. Mrs. Wilton is nice though." Louisa uttered, looking shy.

"By the way, Would you guys like to have some drinks? Xymon offered but I declined instantly.

"Sure!" Louisa said quickly after me but I whispered that we were about to leave so she retracted what she said.

"Thanks for this night Mon, but we need to go. Excuse us." I put my arms on Louisa's shoulders.

"Come on Xy, It seems Ms. Georgin doesn't want to leave yet. Let's enjoy the party instead." Xymon insisted. I took a deep breath and turned my eyes to Louisa.

"I think he's right. Maybe we can leave later around 10? It's kind of embarrassing to Mrs. Wilton if we won't at least finish her speech. Let's enjoy this night, Please?" Louisa bit her lower lips, pleaded like a kid who wants to ride on roller coasters. Moreover, I didn't want to waste her time dressing like an angel tonight. She couldn't be left here.

"Fine," I said like it was a game over for me.

It was about a half-hour when the guest speakers delivered their speeches. I almost went out of here, but I didn't want to ruin Louisa's night; she seemed to enjoy spending time talking to my brother while I was here waiting for the party to end. I didn't realize that the birthday celebrant, Mrs. Wilton, was already in front. I gulped. It was as if there was something inside me that I couldn't get rid of.

"Good evening ladies and Gentlemen," She began to speak. "I would like to honor everyone for making an effort to join and celebrate my special day tonight. Mr., and Mrs. Gomez, I Greatly appreciate your presence this beautiful evening, and Of course, before we jump out to what you're waiting for, I would like to ask my only loving son to join me. My unica Hijo Mr. Xymon Wilton." Xymon looked at me before he stood and walked in front as my mother mentioned his name. I then caught Louisa staring at me but Ignored that gaze, proving that I wasn't affected as she assumed.

"I would like to ask my only loving son to join me, my unica Hijo Mr. Xymon Wilton." To be honest, I couldn't even admit, I was hurt, and envious. I pitied myself for longing for her to be accepted and proud like how she saw my brother as her loving son. After two years of being cut off from them, Was that too long that she had even forgotten having twins? Or Perhaps, She treated me as if I was dead. I laughed sarcastically because of those thoughts. Someday, Things will turn upside down, I'll prove that she was wrong.

Xymon stood in front of everyone and gave his little message to my mother. How sweet they were! After Xymon got finished speaking, I witnessed her immediately taking the microphone from my brother as he was about to mention my name. I saw how Xymon's reaction shifted but he just ignored my mom's remarks right after. I knew Xymon. He didn't agree with what he noticed. It wouldn't be noticeable if you were not paying attention to how she acted, but in my case, This was too much for me. I think this night would be enough not to force myself on her. Funny how I prepared myself to gather the courage to apologize after all and Ended up watching her denying and shaming my name. I wasted my time.

To my annoyance, I grabbed Louisa's wrist and walked out without gesturing to her or giving her a hint if we were going to leave. I feel suffocated.

There, The spotlight turned on me. I heard different unpleasant reactions from the guests but I continued walking outside with Louisa. I felt my anger increase as we walked. I didn't mind them at all, they didn't know how it felt. I was wrong to attend this shit party.

As we reached the parking lot, I released Louisa from my grip. I let out a sigh and brushed my face in anger. I shouted from nowhere, kept kicking the car wheels, and laughed as I felt my tears released.

"Tell me, Am I hard to be a son?" I bitterly asked. Louisa was standing near behind, staring at me. " Am I?!" I yelled and kicked the car wheels once more. Louisa was startled and was taken aback a little bit.

"Yo-you're enough," she managed to utter. Her voice was shaking and I felt bad for that.

Almost a half-hour spent in silence. The only I could hear was the water in fountains that kept on flowing. No one talked as we went inside the car, not until...

"Can't we just go home right away?" Out of the silence, I asked.

"I'm in." Louisa just nodded and I drove the car out of the mansion.

I felt craving a bottle of liquor tonight.