Toxin Overdose

CHAPTER 1

Should I say hi? Or should I just pretend that I don't know him? Or should I pretend I did not see him? But honestly, we are not close.

The last time we saw each other was roughly twelve years ago and we were just kids back then. I can't barely remember a moment with him during our pre-elementary days. We were classmates when we were in kindergarten and that's it.

We live in the same neighborhood and I don't have an idea why we haven't seen each other for the past years. I always stay at home but there are times that I go out and wander around the village but I haven't seen him. I went to a different school in elementary and secondary and maybe that explains it.

"Oh!" Fuck. That was awkward. That's the only thing I muttered after we closed the distance. I am with my new friend and I did not expect that he is close with this guy. I have nothing against him but it's just awkward? Because after years we see each other again.

"Hi!" He smiled. He seems comfortable. I just nodded and smiled. This is really part of my personality, I don't usually speak a lot and I get embarrassed easily. I am a shy person and conversing with other people is really hard for me.

"You both live in the same neighborhood right?" Ghian asked. He is my gay friend, my new friend that I was talking about earlier.e

"Uhmm." I shyly nodded. I looked at him and he was already staring at me.

"So you already knew each other?" Ghian asked again. Isn't it obvious?

"Yep. Were classmates before." Ashton answered. Wow, he remembered. I thought he would not remember that.

"Oh! That's nice!" Ghian exclaimed. I don't know what's going on inside his head but yeah, this is awkward. Maybe he will expect us to be friendly toward each other but to be fair I don't know how I will approach him. I am an introvert.

We are at a birthday party. It's Ghian's friend's birthday today and he just grabbed me here. It's not my cup of tea but he told me that he wants me to have more friends so I agreed. I just didn't expect that I would see familiar faces here.

Two other familiar faces are on the other table. I know them. One of them is also our classmate and the other one is in another section. Wow, they all went to the same highschool.

I was sipping on my juice when I saw the two familiar girls approach our table. I heard Jane asked Ghian, she was my classmate before too. "Is that Nicolette?" She pouted in my direction before giggling. She is now looking at me so I smiled.

"Hi!" I smiled. She seems approachable so I greet her. She is one of my classmates that I was close with before so I am hoping that we'll get along. We are now in the same school and I am not aware that they are also studying there.

Sana, on the other hand, waved her hand at me. Maybe she noticed that my face is also familiar to her. Of course, our classroom was next to each other when we were kids.

"You did not even say hi to me." I frowned when I heard Ashton's voice. He is on my right side. Two vacant chairs separate us, that's the only distance we have from each other.

"Sorry?" I did not get his riddle.

"Tsk. I said you did not even say hi to me when you saw me." My brows furrowed but then I shrugged it with a small laugh.

"I'm sorry, I'm just shy. I don't know how to greet you, and how to approach you either. It's our first time seeing each other after years." I said before sipping on my juice again.

"Uhuh, I barely see you in the village. I only see you maybe more or less around ten times in the past years." He answered.

"To be honest, I did not see you ever in the past years." I chuckled.

" I don't know with you but I only saw you last time on the basketball court." He said. I thought about it and yeah, I was on the basketball court last time.

"Yeah, I was there to watch my brother's game." I answered. But I did not see him there.

"Do you always go there?" He asked. I put down the glass that I was holding before answering him.

"Yes. For the past years I always go there to watch my brother's game." I said. Wow, it's over a decade and we are really not meant to see each other in those years. Our friendship is really delayed.

"Seriously? How come I did not see you. I am always there too." Then he laughed.

"Maybe we are really not meant to see each other during those years." I said.

"Yeah, but maybe we are destined to be with each other." My eyes widened for a second and he laughed.

"What?" I was shocked and in disbelief. This guy!

"I was just joking! Don't be too serious." And he shook his head.

I was about to say something when Ghian went back to our table. I don't know why Ghian put me in this situation. Maybe he thinks that because we live in the same neighborhood, we are close to each other. I hope we are, but we are not.

I want to be friends with him, to be close with him, as well as with Jane and Sana. I want to reconnect with them because I shared my childhood with them even though I don't clearly remember it all.

"I can see you both laughing from afar. Nics, you seem to be enjoying the night." Ghian smiled at me and I smiled back at him.

"Yes, I am." I smiled again.

"I told you! You will enjoy this party!" Then he sitted in one of the vacant chairs between me and Ashton.

"Thank you for inviting me, where is the birthday girl by the way?" I asked him.

I am quite familiar with the birthday girl but I don't know if she knew about me. We are mutuals on our social media accounts and I think this is the first time that we will see each other face to face.

"Oh, she's inside. I will introduce you to her later." He said.

"Why don't you introduce me to your friend, Ghian?" I heard one of the visitors ask. I doubt he is not with Ghian's circle. In Ghian's circle of friends, there are two boys, two girls, and of course one gay which is him.

I saw Ghian roll his eyes before speaking. "This babe is not available in the market." He said and I just laughed.

"I just want to be introduced to her? What's wrong with that?" The smirk on the guy's face cannot be dismissed. He is a playful one, I guess.

" It is wrong! I know that moves! You just want to get in her pants, jerk!" Then he rolled his eyes again. I felt my cheeks burning from what he said. In my pants huh?!

"You're thinking too many bad things about me, Ghian." The smirk on the guy's face is still there.

"Because you really are!" Then Ghian put his lips in a thin line.

"Your moves are getting rusty, man." I heard Ashton's voice and that made me look at him.

"Oh, bro shut up. This lady is just too pretty and my intention is pure, I just want to know her." Then the guy laughed. I looked at Ashton and his questioning look was directed at me.

"I am Nicolette Rivera, 17."

I was seventeen when I saw him again. I was seventeen when I saw my childhood crush again.

***

CHAPTER 2

"We're both seventeen. I guess we are really meant to be." I rolled my eyes at Ashton. I am slowly getting his vibe and it is annoying.

"Almost all people here are seventeen." I frankly said and he chuckled.

"You know, you're so serious.You should have fun. How can you enjoy life if you are that serious?" He asked me that question like I am some sort of nerd that doesn't know how to enjoy. Maybe he is right at some point but I still need to know my limitations.

I am really hard on myself but I need to. I have my goals that I should achieve in this lifetime. We only live once and we should make the best out of it.

"I have time for that." I said. But what is the real meaning of fun? Of enjoy?

I think I have my own definition of fun and enjoy but I think they don't look at it like the way I do. Maybe, reading and writing is boring for them but for me it is fun and it's the time when I enjoy because that's the time that I can escape my reality.

"Uhuh, so when is that?" He asked. He asks so many questions and I don't know why I continuously answers him.

"Hmm let's say when I am done with all of my tasks or responsibilities?" I slowly nodded, quietly convincing myself that I really have time for that when in fact I find t hard to find for a free time.

"Uhuh but our responsibilities do not end, it goes round and round. You always have a responsibility, until the last second of your heartbeat you have your responsibility." He explained.

I did not speak, I just stared at him for a few seconds. It is shocking that he has this kind of mindset. It is far from the personality that she shows to the people around him.

" How are you?" He asked after a little while.

I don't know what to answer. Is it quite weird to ask someone how is he or how is she? We are not close for him to ask about me but maybe it is part of his personality. I smiled before speaking.

"I'm good. Thanks for asking. How about you?"

Not everyone is concerned enough to ask and he is nice to ask me about that matter. It is quite refreshing and comforting when someone ask you about how are you. Sometimes we only need one person to ask about our well being and then we are fine.

"Thanks for asking too, I'm good by the way." He said before chuckling.

"You really have that stiff personality huh? Are you really that prim and proper? Or you are just shy? He asked. He seems to be so curious about me.

"It depends." I answered.

"Oh so you are stiff now because you are not comfortable with me?" He asked. I was moved a little. Why is he saying that now?

"No, it's not like that." I said.

"If you say so." But to be honest, I am not really comfortable with him. We know each other but we rarely see each other, or I must say we really don't see each other. And now is the only time we meet again.

Minutes have passed and no one dared to speak again. I have nothing to say and I am fine with the awkwardness between us. I am used on weird air actually.

I diverted my attention to Ghian when he happily approached me and Ashton.

"Oh hi love birds!!!!" I did not move but I can see Ashton's behavior from my peripheral vision. He shook his head after biting his lips. A ghost of smile is evident on his lips. Tsk. This boy is really a play boy.

"Colette, it seems like you're enjoying Ashton's company." He smiled, a teasing one. This will definitely go somewhere.

I just smiled at him. "And someone is really enjoying the moment. I can imagine the butterflies inside someone's stomach." And he is looking at Ashton with a mischievous smile on his face.

I don't get him. Is he teasing Ashton? For what?

"Oh Gian, shut the fuck up." Ashton said while chuckling.

"Oh sure sure, I'll stay quiet hmmm." Ghian chuckled and Ashton just rolled his eyes.

Hours have passed and we did not bother to utter something.

I don't have any idea on what's they are talking about but I stayed quiet. I am not the type of person who will meddle and ask out of curiosity.

Everything's going well when my phone rang.

"Oh shocks." I uttered. I have a hint that it may be my father or my mother. They will definitely tell me to go home.

I stood up and walk a little far from our table. When I answered the call I put it near my ears so I can hear it clearly. It is quite loud here because it's a party.

"Hello, mom?" It's my mom. She is a very kind mom, very calm and supportive.

"Colette, what time are you going home?" She asked. To be honest I don't have an idea what time will this party will end but I doubt that it will end early. I can already see liquors and glasses around the area, this will be a long night for sure.

"Uhmm, I am just finishing my food then I am good to go." Even though I am not really eating at the moment, I can't say that I am just sitting and enjoying everyone's company.

" Okay, be fast. Your dad will get mad if you will stay late." She said with a concerned voice. I know how strict my dad is and I don't want to make him mad. I know that he is just concerned and protective about me.

" Yes, mom. Thank you. I'll be hanging up now. " I said and waited for her reply before ending the call.

" Take care, sweetie. Bye." I ended the call and looked at our table's direction. I was startled when the first thing I saw is Ashton's eyes. It is already looking at me and he just look away when I looked at him. Why are you staring huh?

I sitted on my chair again with a problem in mind. How will I go home. There is no taxi in this area, I am sure of that. This is one of the high-end village in town and for sure there is no taxi here. The area where there are taxis are roaming around will be around ten to fifteen minutes walk from here. Shocks. What to do.

I waited for Ghian to approach me. I need to tell him that I am leaving. He smiled at me when he is already near me, I smiled back. "Ghian, I need to go home already. I want to greet the celebrant, where is she?" I said. I stood up so we can talk fave to face.

"Ohh but it's still early!" He said after he looked at his watch but I just smiled at him. I am contented that they allowed me to come in this party. I should not abuse their kindness to me, they are just concerned.

"I'll make it up to you next time.* I smiled and assured him that I will really make time next time. He nodded.

He guided me towards the entrance of the house. Maybe the celebrant is inside. When we came in,the celebrant is taking pictures with her family so I became embarrassed. She did not personally invited me and I am here and I am interrupting her photoshoot with her family. Shocks.

"Hi! Thank you for coming! I was surprised to see you here, I'm happy you're here!" The birthday girl said before opening her arms to welcome.me with a hug. I embraced her to thank her.

"Happy Birthday and thank you for the food. Sorry for crashing your party, he just tagged me here." I pointed at Ghian and he just rolled his eyes. I smiled shyly.

"No. No. That's totally fine, you are welcome here anyways. I hope yo enjoy my party." She said.

"Oh yes, I really enjoyed your party but I am leaving already. I can't stay up late." I said and smiled apologetically.

"It's still early but okay, maybe next time?" She smiled and I nodded.

"Next time, next time. Thank you and happy birthday." I hugged her again before walking with Ghian to the gate of the mansion.

***

CHAPTER 3

"There's no taxi in this area, nics." Ghian brows furrowed.

"It's okay, I can walk from here. You can go back inside." I assured him.

"No. No. I told your mom that I will make sure that you'll go home safe and sound." He said while scratching his neck.

"But you should enjoy the party inside." I said and pointed to where the party is.

He was about to say something when a car stopped in front of us.

"I can give you a ride." Ashton said.

"I thought you--" Ashton did not let Ghian finish what he was about to say.

"I left my gift at home so I will get it, I can give you a ride." Ashton said. I was about to speak when I heard Ghian stifling his giggle on my side. When he saw me looking at him, he pretended that nothing was going on with him.

I am about to open my mouth again, ready to turn down the invitation because I am shy, Ashton already opened the door of the front seat from inside. "Come on." He said.

I was left with no choice. I looked at Ghian before saying thank you. "Thank you, Ghi. I really enjoyed the party, thank you for bringing me here." I hugged him.before going inside the car.

"Seat belt please."

"Oh." I poured because I felt the pressure. Gosh. He sounds so serious.

I mouthed thank you to Ghian and waved my hand. I did not look away until he was already back inside the party. I focused my eyes on the road, i can't look at him because I am shy and we are not close enough for me to open a conversation.

"It's still early, why are you going home already?" He was the one who cut off the awkward silence between us. I looked at him before answering.

"Hmm, I can't stay late. My mom called already so I definitely need to go." I answered. I know my limitations but my parents don't want me to forget those limitations as I age, as the time progresses.

"What a good girl huh?" He joked. He laughed. Oh wait, is it a joke? Or is it a compliment?

"Just obedient." I answered and the car was surrounded by his laughter.

"I am glad that you are." He said with a smile on his face. I can't help but stare at his dimple.

A long awkward silence again. Our village is quite far from here.

I did not imagine that I will be sitting in the front seat of Ashton's car, even in my wildest dreams. This just feel so surreal. I almost forgot that I knew him because to be honest we don't have much interactions. I am not the type of person who will approach someone just because we knew each other back then, I am not confident and I am super shy to do the first move.

You know, I overthink a lot. What if he will not greet me back? Or what if he will ignore me? I am just nervous and afraid of rejection. I am also contented on what I have in my life, if someone will come then fine, if someone will go, I will not stop him or her. People just come and go. Nothing is constant in this world except change.

"You're really quiet huh?" He broke the awkward silence again. I looked at him.

"Hmmm." I don't know what to say so I just smiled awkwardly.

"That's fine with me, it's our first time to see each other after years so I understand." He smiled.

I did not speak, I don't have anything to say either. I am just shy at this moment. I am not used on riding the shot gun seat because of convenience.

"How did you met Ghian?" He asked after few minutes of awkward silence.

"I can't clearly remember." To be honest I don't know when was the first time, and how I met Ghian.

"Oh, is that it? I never expected someone like you to be Ghian's friend. It seems like you are so high maintenance and it is hard to be friends with you." He said with the awkward laugh. It doesn't bother me though, it's normal to be high maintenance especially if you are capable of maintenjng it with your own money, with your own savings, and hardships.

"He's happy to be with so I am definitely good. He is a good friend." I said and he just smiled at me.

"uhuh." He said mockingly. I don't know if I should take it seriously or not.

"How come we are the same age? I know, I am older than you." He said after a while. My brows furrowed.

"I don't know, I am seventeen and I don't know why you are seventeen too." I rolled my eyes.

"When are you turning eighteen?" He asked. Why is he suddenly curious about my age? Or why is he curious about me? If that's the issue?

"Uhmm, next year." I answered.

"Oh, that's it. I am older than you, I am turning eighteen in few months." He said.

"Ohhkay." I said. I don't have anything to say. And age is not a problem so why is he making it a big deal? What's with our age? And what is the difference if he is older or I am the one who is older?

"You know, you should come to my birthday." He said, he looked at me for a few seconds and thankfully I am not looking at him. I can just saw his presence and stare on my peripheral vision.

"Let me think of that." That's the only safe answer for me to say, but I am thinking otherwise.

I am curious on what might happen but I am nervous that I will be out of place. I don't know what to do.

"Uhuh I hope you can go and you are free that time. I am looking forward to that." Bruh, the pressure that he wants to put me is something I can't take.

I did not answer because I don't know what to say. I am not that confident to join parties especially that we are not close and I am not sure if I have close friend on that party.

I am an introvert and it will be hard for me to socialize with other people especially with the people I think that is not really interested in me and on what I am doing.

The next minutes between is became quiet. We don't really have a topic to start with so conversing with him is definitely a hard thing. I am not fond of speaking and communicating with others do yeah.

He did not bother to speak again so I remained silent too. I just focused my gaze on the post lamps outside the window. I don't think I have a memory of having a road trip at night, or staying late at night outside without my parents by my side. This was my first, with a friend.

I can see him on my peripheral vision, he is constantly throwing shallow gazes on me. What's with him? And what's the shade Ghian's throwing against him earlier? I don't understand a thing. Anyways, I should have not think about it.

The guard of our village lowered his head to see who is in the front seat. Oh fudge. I hope this guard is not nosy.

"Miss Rivera?" His brown furrowed but there is a hint of playfulness in his lips. Oh Gosh! I hope it's not what I think it is.

"Good evening, Manong!" I greeted. It will be unethical of me if I did not greet him.

"Good evening, Miss Rivera!" He smiled then looked at Ashton.

"Mister Alcazar! Good evening too!" He laughed and I saw a glint of playfulness in Ashton's eyes, opposite on the grim line he has on his face. Uhuh.

"Good evening, Manong!" He greeted back.

"I did not know you have a thing?" The guard questioned Ashton. I was caught of guard and my breathing seemed to stop.

"Oh! We don't have a thing, Manong." Ashton calmly said. Yes, there is nothing between us. I swear!

"Hmm.. if you say so." The guard tapped the cars hood before waving us goodbye.

I saw Ashton saluted and smiled before manouvering the car away. I am sure, one if these days, issues and stories about me being inside Ashton's car will be an issue. I can guarantee that, it will be either the truth or the truth with some made up stories.

"Sorry for that." Ashton apologized when we left the guard house. I looked at him and smiled.

"No need to apologise. Elders are just like that. Don't worry, it's totally fine." I said. I don't want him to feel sorry, it's not that he intended to do that.

"It's just, Manong is just playful." He explained.

"No need to explain. I really understand." I said. I looked in front and I think we are near my street.

"You can just drop me by there." I pointed out the street where our house is located but he did not listen to me. Instead, he drive all the way up to our gate and stopped.

"You don't have to do that but, thank you so much! Thanks for the ride!" I smiled before opening the door.

"No worries." He waved his hand. I closed the door and walked towards our gate. The lights are still open, in our whole house. For sure they are waiting for me.

I looked at him and of course I can't see him. His car is heavily tinted. I wonder if he already have his license? Oh shit.

He pressed the horn twice. Saying that he will go already. I smiled and waved my hand. I don't know if he saw me but still. Their house is just two blocks away from us.

When I entered the gate, the main door is already opened. I saw my mom and dad standing near our door. Shocks.

"Hello dear, who is that?" My mom welcomed me with a hug, he is pertaining to Ashton.

"It's Ashton, mom. He lives two blocks away." I said. I hugged dad and he kissed me on my forehead.

They did not tell anything. They just smiled. I thought they're going to scold me for being late but they did not. I should be a good girl in the next weeks so that I can attend other birthdays too. If I knew the feeling of being free before, I will never crave for it over and over again. Now, I am thinking about the next experience that I will have.

They told me to eat if I am still not full from the birthday party. I just took small amount of food before going to my room to freshen up. I don't have a lot of things to do so I dozed to sleep after changing my clothes.