Too Young To Want Him

Ava Thompson could not believe what she was looking at. She had come to the apartment of Mark Rivera, her boyfriend, to discuss things with him. Hoping that they could come to some sort of an agreement, but what she saw brought her stomach to the floor.

Mark was with his best friend, Bella Cruz in his bedroom. On the bed, they were too close, laughing and kissing.

"When will you tell her about us?" Bella asked.

"Well, soon baby, just give me time, I will abandon her soon hm? Mark said.

Ava froze in the doorway. She did not want to be observed, she did not want to stand up to them. So she slipped out, shut the door, and walked away.

Her telephone was heavy in her hand. She called her best friend Riley Morgan whom she wanted to talk to.

No answer.

She called again. Still nothing.

"Riley, pick up..." Yes, she said; speaking with a trembling voice. She threw the phone on the car seat. There could be nothing to improve this.

Ava started the car and drove. At first, she did not know whether she was heading anywhere, she just had to move, to escape. The city streets were lost in the streetlights. Her thoughts were repeating what she had just watched. Mark. Bella. Their betrayal.

She finally found herself in a club she was used to. The band played loudly, the crowd was dense and the lights flashed everywhere. She had ordered a drink and drank it off. She was scalded down her throat, but it mattered not. It was something she had to burn, she had to experience something other than the betrayal.

One beverage turned into two and then three. Her head turned, and her stomach was turning over at the music. She ran off to the bathroom for a moment, dipped water on her face, and then laughed at herself bitterly. She did not want to think, did not want to be responsible, did not want to care.

After some time, she fell out of her car. Her legs were shaking beneath her, and she got the engine started. She didn't stop at the rules. She only wanted home and she required the walls of her home.

As she drove up in her driveway, the lights in the living room were on. Her parking was fast, and she leaped out of the car and ran into the building.

"Mom? Dad?" she called, her voice tremulous.

No answer.

Then Marcus Hale came out of the corridor. He gazed in amazement at her.

"Ava?" he asked. "You're home early. Is everything okay?"

"Where are Mom and Dad?" Asked her, her speech somewhat indistinct.

They walked out in the evening, said Marcus. "They won't be back tonight. I only came to make sure that everything is okay. He examined her and saw how wobbly she was. "Ava... are you drunk?"

Ava laughed a little, and very nervously. "I am all right," she said, but it was weak.

Marcus took a sigh and indicated for her to sit down on the couch. "Sit down. You will fall, unless you want to.

She obeyed. Her legs were weak, and her chest was tight. She put her face in her hands a little. Mark cheated, she at last told.

Marcus frowned. "What? How?"

"I saw him," she whispered. "With Bella. In his bedroom." Her voice cracked. "They were... together."

Marcus rubbed his forehead. "I'm sorry, Ava. That's... that's awful. You didn't deserve that."

"I should not have cared," she muttered as she leaned back on the couch. "I should not have expected anything out of him."

"Don't say so," Marcus said. "It is not you who is in the wrong. He is. You're not stupid."

Ava threw back her head and shut her eyes. The couch was warm and Marcus was seated next to her, which made her feel calmer and secure than she had anticipated.

"Do you want water?" he asked. "Or something to eat?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "I don't want to think. I just... don't want to think."

Marcus said nothing. He just sat next to her. She dropped her head a little towards him and was lying against his shoulder. The presence of the man was reassuring in a manner that she had not anticipated.

Ava could not prevent the movement of her body. Her hand fluttered on his arm. He didn't pull away. The contact felt safe. She stared at him, dizzy with the alcohol and the feelings that were going through her.

"I... I do not understand why I am like that, you see," she said in a kind of whisper.

"You're upset," Marcus said. "It's okay to feel that way."

Her lips were against his shoulder as an accident, almost as though they were seeking more comfort. He froze for a second. "Ava..." he whispered.

She leaned into him slightly. Her hand tightened on his arm. She kissed him unconsciously.

It started small. Tentative. Then deeper. Marcus kissed her back, hesitantly at first and then completely as she failed to stop.

One thing led to another. Clothes came off. Touches, whispers, and kisses had filled the room. Time didn't exist. It did not matter whether it was the world outside the house, the betrayal, or the alcohol.

At the moment of its termination, Ava was lying on the bed with her head whirling. She was not sure of the time they had been together. She did not think of anything but warmth next to her and the empty feeling as he rose to leave.

Hours later, she woke up alone.

Her head throbbed. Her mouth was dry. Her heart raced. The curtains were knotted about her knees.

She remembered.

Everything.

Her eyes widened. She had slept with the stepbrother of her father.

Panic rose in her chest. She scrambled out of bed and took her clothes. She hastened into rapid dress and shook and clasped her hands over her face.

Marcus wasn't there.

She was standing in the bedroom, and breathing rapidly. The club, the drinks, the betrayal, the comfort, the kiss, the touches, her mind played all this over and over again.

Her stomach turned. Her body felt heavy.

"What did I do?" she whispered to herself.

Her stomach dropped. Panic gripped her chest. How could she be so stupid? Had anyone walked in last night, a maid? Worse still, what should happen in case her parents returned earlier? Her hands covered her face, and she was breathing rapidly.

She tossed the bedding off, and crawled to the floor, snatching up her garments from the chair. She could not lift her jeans and her top because her hands trembled. Each movement was clumsy, and her body was not willing to do it.

She was at length dressed, and glancing down, deepened her breath and ran down the stairs. There was a slight odor of coffee and eggs in the kitchen. Marcus stood there, by the stove, turning something in a pan. He looked up, and his face momentarily hardened into an expression of paralyzed amazement, and then sank into composure.

"Morning," he said carefully. "You're up early."

"Uh... yeah. Morning," Ava mumbled. Her voice was tight. She made attempts to smile but she was unable to, she knew that what had occurred last night was not what she had expected to occur. But the sight of Marcus behaving so nonchalantly as if it were a common occurrence did not help.

Marcus looked at her for a moment. "You look... tense. Are you okay?"

"I... I'm fine," she said quickly. "Just... tired."

He walked closer. "I ... I am sorry. About last night I had no idea what came to me and I-

Ava shuddered at the mention of these words and she hastily interrupted him. "I don't want to talk about it. Not right now, not later. I'd... I would just prefer that we pretend there was nothing between us last night.

Marcus paused, a glance of something in his eyes. He was about to open his mouth, when she raised her hand. "Please. Not now. I'm not ready."

He made a little sigh and withdrew. "Okay," he said quietly. "If that's what you want."

The silence between them was heavy, yet no one said anything. Ava's heart raced. Not like this, she could not face him. Not after what they'd done.

"I... I will go see Riley," she announces more to herself, trying to make it sound natural. "She wakes up early. I don't want to go out alone."

Marcus frowned. "Your parents will be down any minute. I don't think that's a good idea. Perhaps you had better keep in your room a little."

Ava shook her head. "I... I'll be fine. I just... I need to go out."

"No," Marcus said firmly. "Stay in your room. Your mother and father will come soon enough."

Ava hesitated, then gave up. Turning around, she went up the stairs with a twisting stomach. She closed her eyes and leaned against the door of her room after shutting it. Her body was still tense, her head spinning. She took off her clothes very fast and entered the shower, letting the hot water run over her. It enabled her to relax, at least partially.

The door was later softly knocked on. "Miss Ava," a maid said politely. "I brought breakfast."

Ava replied, looking normal, and gave back a simple "thanks" in response. She picked up the tray and sat down on the rim of her bed. She chewed but did not really taste the food as her mind kept replaying what happened the previous night with Mark and Bella and also with Marcus.

Her phone buzzed on the bed. She jumped and picked it up.

"Hello?" she whispered.

"Ava! Hey, are you there?" Mark spoke, as though nothing had happened, and his voice was easy and good-natured.

Ava's stomach twisted. "Y-Yeah... I'm here," she said, forcing calm.

"Good! It is the birthday of Bella today, you know. She really wants you there. You coming?"

Ava forced a laugh. "Of course... I'll be there."

"Great. I will be down to fetch you by and by, still in an off-hand manner.

Ava released the edge of the bed and took a deep breath, before hanging up. She could not allow anyone to notice that she was nervous. She had to act normal.

In another couple of minutes, she heard a knock at her door.

"Ava? It's Mark."

She opened the door and remained expressionless. "Hey... thanks for coming."

"No problem. You ready?"

Ava nodded. "Yeah... let's go."

The drive was quiet at first. Mark tried to make small talk. So... you have that top that I like on. Looks good on you."

Thanks, Ava replied as she stared at the window.

By the time they got there, the party was in full blast. The room was filled with music, laughter, and chatter. Nobody was left behind as people were mingling and dancing. The center of attention was occupied by Bella who was smiling, taking photos, and laughing with friends.

Ava's hands balled into a fist. She couldn't stay quiet. She simply could not allow them to pretend that nothing had occurred. She lifted her glass, quailing and yet strong.

Please may I have your attention? she said.

The room quieted. All eyes turned to her.

Ava was not too shaky in her voice, and she was well articulated. "I just want to say something. Everybody has a right to know the truth. She looked directly at Bella. Bella, Mark... you have been cheating. Right in front of me. And you two have betrayed me, I believed you both.

Gasps spread across the room. Bella's smile faltered. Mark went pale.

"You cheated, you lied, and you believed you would not be noticed by anybody," Ava went on. "I have put my trust in you, and you just decided to deceive me...? I wish every one of you here now knows quite well who you are dealing with."

Word went round like wildfire. Some stared at Bella and Mark. A few clapped quietly.

"Fool, you will regret this," hissed Bella.

"I do not, and I will not," Ava said, turning around and going to the door. She walked out followed by chaos. Mark was about to say something, but she turned her back on him and walked away.

Her phone was ringing, just as she got to the car. She answered quickly.

Ava," said her mother Patricia sharply. "We need to talk. Come home."

Ava had a twisted stomach as she drove to the house of Riley. She could not go back home yet. Not after the events of last night and not after the mayhem at the birthday party of the Bella. Each step towards the door of Riley seemed to be heavier, as though the weight of all this should be upon her chest.

She knocked lightly. Riley opened the door and was rubbing her eyes and looking tired. "Ava? What's up?" asked she, with her still sleep-thick voice.

"I... Come with me, I need you to come with me," Ava said with her hands trembling a little. She did not want to go home alone.

Riley nodded slowly. "Of course, I'll come. I have only just woken up, and must have a quick bath first."

Ava looked at the living room and nodded. "Okay. I'll wait."

Riley ran off into the bathroom and Ava was left alone. She sat down on the couch her thoughts whirling. She repeated all that occurred, Mark cheating on her, the way she reacted at the birthday party, and the one-night stand with Marcus. She was not able to tell anybody about Marcus yet. She forced that thought aside, and had to concentrate on surviving the day.

After some time, Riley emerged from the bathroom, dressed and looking fresher. Ava rose and was a little steadier with her friend at her elbow.

"I must tell you what happened last night," Ava said to Riley as they prepared to get going. "Mark cheated on me with Bella. I ended things with him. I attended the birthday party of Bella too and... I revealed to everyone what they have been doing behind my back."

Riley's eyes widened. "Very good. The next time I run into that fuck, I will give him my two cents."

Ava scowled and tried to smile. She never said anything concerning Marcus. It was her secret, that part of last night, and she did not propose to reveal it at this time.

When Riley was ready, they got in the car and drove off to Ava's house. The nearer they got, the tighter Ava felt her chest getting. As they arrived, she looked through the front door and saw the familiar figures of her parents. And there was Marcus, calm as though nothing was ever the matter.

Ava took a deep breath. She had to act normal. She followed Riley inside.

They made Patricia brighten up when she saw them. "Marcus and Elena are not divorcing anymore!" she exclaimed with all the excitement and relief in her voice.

Ava froze. Her stomach tightened. She closed her lips and tried to smile. Great, terribly great, she thought to herself.

Riley followed her closely and could see the tension, but she did not say anything. Ava walked behind her mother and Marcus into the living room with her mind whirling. She experienced all the looks, all the movements around her as though her heart could betray her.

The next hour was spent by the family assisting Elena in returning to the house. Boxes were transported, the furniture was rearranged and everyone helped out. Ava kept to herself and only moved when she had to. She assisted where she could and she avoided eye contact with Marcus because, she was well aware that any kind of interaction would attract attention. She felt a pain in her heart seeing Marcus and Elena collaborate. They were smiling, laughing lowly, and brushing little, easy touches that had to remind her how she had crossed the line last night.

At last, the work was quieted down and it was time to eat. The table was properly set, and everyone sat down. Ava sat next to Riley who gave her a comforting nod. Marcus was sitting across, detached but alert. There was a heavy atmosphere. Ava and Marcus did not address each other. There was a heavy silence that was their silent secret between them.

Patricia broke the silence, and her voice was gentle. "It is a huge relief that Marcus and Elena have chosen to get things straight. It is nice to find them so glad to be together once more."

Ava's chest tightened. She felt used. She would have liked to say something, to complain that she was injured and that she had emotions that no one could know. But she made no reply, and had to lower her eyes to her plate. As she watched Marcus and Elena laughing at minor jokes, glancing at each other, and caressing each other, her stomach ached with envy.

She chewed her food in silence. She was holding her fork tremulously. Every bite felt heavy.

Marcus looked at her once, but only briefly, with a neutral expression. Ava turned her head away and concentrated on her plate. She did not want him to observe how ambivalent she was. She could not allow him to know that she had been hit more by last night than she could take.

The dinner table discussion was generally civil. Daniel and Patricia were talking of their day, of Elena settling down, of small domestic schemes. Ava quietly listened and nodded ever so often. She was aware that Riley was looking at her, though not saying anything, just being there, providing support by being there. That little assurance made Ava keep herself together.

The thoughts of Marcus and Elena came back to Ava over and over again as she ate. She did not understand how they could behave so normally, so easily in love, and she had a secret that could ruin everything.

After dinner, the dishes were cleared. Ava remained at the table for a few minutes more, attempting to calm down. She was not sure if she would be able to remain in her room permanently, yet she was aware that she would not be able to fight Marcus. She had to wait. She had to be careful.

At last, she rose and took her leave unobtrusively. She retired to her room and shut the door. She put her back to it and drew a breath. Her heart was sore, and her stomach was clenched with anxiety. She reflected on the secret she was bearing, the line she had crossed, and the effects which might follow.

This could not be her permanent state. She had to suppress it at present. She was forced to act like nothing had occurred. But the fear lingered. And how much time would she be able to hold on to it? Until when the truth broke in and everything was different?