To Love You Hurts

PROLOGUE:

TOBIAS:

Our eyes met from across the room as she stands at the bar, ordering herself a drink.

My glass is half full. Whiskey.

The ambient colour of love, lust, and sin. Burns you right down to the core, menacingly destroying your insides with no fucks given.

Love.

Some say it is a distraction to a path of destruction, and I, for one, can vouch for that.

I have been burned not once, but twice by Keri Appleton and each time, I've only just managed to claw my way out of the hole of self-torment I dug for myself.

But this time around, I won't let her go.

She is mine. She has always been mine. Even when she left the country without saying goodbye, even now, when she believes that she isn't tied to me.

She looks different. She's filled out in places that make her look devastatingly gorgeous; almost being enough to make my heart cease on the spot.

My thumb twitches as I roll my heavy steel ring around my finger like it somewhat calms the hostility that is burning deep inside me.

"She looks Happy," Melanie says across the table from me as her gaze follows mine.

My eyes narrow when my gaze shifts to the man standing next to her with his hand on her hip, whispering in her ear.

"Happy?" I snort. "That's not her being happy. That is revenge." After all these years, I'm intrigued to find out why she has returned. With him.

I stand up from my chair, downing the rest of my whiskey. I need to know why she is here. Of all days, why make yourself seen?

"Mr. Landry, where are you going? We still need to close this deal." Mr. Adem calls out to me over the loud music.

I ignore him. Melanie is more than capable of handling all the paperwork on our end of the deal.

Strolling towards Keri, I pass Davis sitting at the table, his chin touching his chest, swaying side to side with a bottle of beer still in his grasp.

Ava sits beside him with their daughter sound asleep in her arms as she pats her bottom, rocking back and forth in her chair.

The closer I get to Keri, the more I feel like I need to obliterate something. Preferably her.

Setting her glass on the bar top, she turns away and heads towards the back exit door. I follow her, keeping my distance, and the second I step outside, the cold air snakes its icy tentacles around the base of my throat as I shove the door open.

"It's okay, my little darlings, I'll be back soon. Mummy just needs to... Oh..." I reach around her curvy body, forcing the door behind her shut as I press her body against it. "Tobias!" She exclaims, swallowing thickly with her wide eyes darting between me and her phone.

"Mummy, Mummy... where are you? We can't see you," a high-pitched voice screams through the other end of the phone.

Anger disperses across my chest. Did I hear right? Was the voice of a little girl calling Keri mummy, on the other end of the phone?

I rip the phone out of her hand, "No, please... Tobias!" her voice fills with panic as I lift the phone to my face to see who she is talking to.

I stumble back, feeling like I've been kicked in the gut as my gaze collides with not one, but two sets of eyes that look identical to mine.

"Mummy? Mummy... who is that man? He doesn't look like our uncle?"

"Tobias... I..."

"You're a mother?" I spit out with venom, unable to hide the rage behind my words.

"I... yes," she replies softly, hanging her head in shame.

"Are they..." My voice trails off, knowing that they can't be. "When were you going to tell me?"

I pass her the phone back as she slouches against the door with tears sliding down her cheeks.

"Don't you think I have a right to know that my wife fell pregnant to a man who took her away from me?" I ask darkly, anxiously waiting for her reaction after she registers what I've just said.

Her head snaps up with a look of shock burning brightly in her eyes, "your wife?"

Pressing my hands against the door on either side of her head. I cage her in between my arms, leaning my head next to hers, my lips a whisper away from her ear.

"That's right, spitfire," I whisper in a raspy voice, filling my lungs with her scent. "You are still my wife, and I am your husband. Those divorce papers you sent me, I never signed them."

---

FOUR YEARS EARLIER:

My heart sinks into the pit of my stomach as I continue to read the letter left on my bakery's doorstep upon my arrival this morning.

"Mother..." I hiss, refraining from finishing my sentence.

I clench my jaw, screwing up the letter as I refuse to let Landry Enterprise spoil my day. Especially when I haven't had the chance to sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee just yet.

I toss the letter into the garbage where it belongs.

You know what they say: out of sight, out of mind.

If they want my company, they will have to take me to court because I'm not selling it to them.

As the bell on the door chimes, I look up to see who my first customer of the day is, and a wide grin spreads across my face.

"Chase!" I scream, moving out from behind the counter, I run straight into his open arms. "What... When did you get into town? You should have called me, I would've picked you up from the airport. " I coo as I step back and take a good look at him.

It's been 8 days since I dropped him off at the airport for a business trip, and my gods, those 8 days felt like 8 long and lonely excruciating weeks.

Chase and I have been dating for about two years now. It hasn't been easy when he spends most of his time flying back and forth between Auckland and Wellington for his job. I run my fingers through his hair, missing the silky sensation upon my fingertips.

"Keri, there's something that I need to tell you." He sighs, placing his hands on my shoulders with a distressed look tarnishing his handsome features.

My smile instantly falters, and I know, I just know that what he has to say next isn't going to sit well with me. My pulse begins to spike as I notice the sweat that beads along his brow line as he refuses to meet my gaze.

He reeks of guilt, sin, and betrayal. A smell that I am all too familiar with.

"What's wrong?" I take two steps back and wrap my arms around my waist as I anxiously await his response while my voice quavers.

He blows air out of his nose, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen, you gotta believe me, babe." He murmurs in a pleading tone with his shoulders sagging at the same time.

"Chase, I can't forgive you if I don't know what it is that you have done wrong."

He raises his gaze to meet mine taking a step toward me, and the bell to the door goes off again.

In walks the most beautiful female I've not seen in a long time. And for good reason.

"Ava?" I whisper with tears brimming my eyes as I take in her appearance.

As the pieces to the puzzle slowly start to fall into place, I begin to feel sick with repulsion.

"Keri please..." Chase pleads as he rushes toward me.

I shake my head, holding my hand up as my heart starts to shatter in the nest of my chest.

"You and my sister?!" I can barely contain the horror in my voice as shock and animosity swirl in the pools of my eyes.

I look past Chase, watching as my younger sister stands behind the man, I thought loved me in return, rubbing her swelling belly.

"And you, you are meant to be my sister." I sob, "How could you do this to me after everything I have done for you, for the both of you?"

Raising my hand, I violently wipe away the tears that stain my face with deception and heartache.

"It was only one time," Chase quickly states in his defense

"You say it like it's meant to dull the unnecessary pain that you have both caused me. If you wanted to be together, you should have told me first Chase." I swallow thickly trying to suppress the emotions that are coaxing the back of my throat.

Ava sucks on her upper teeth as she holds out her hand revealing an elegant engagement ring that sparkles when the light hits it on her slender finger.

"Well, now you know." She says in a snarky tone, adding salt to my wounds. "It was better this way, like ripping off a band-aid wouldn't you say?" She snickers.

And just like that, the genuine nature of my little sisters' feelings for me became evident.

Such a fool I was. I should have known something was stirring in her pot the moment she so innocently asked me for Chase's address in Wellington a few months ago when she flew out there.

She insisted that she wanted to speak to him about something important. Initially, I thought she was planning to throw me a surprise birthday party in a few days.

"Shut up, Ava. Didn't I tell you to wait in the car for my text?" Chase hisses with a look of pity pooling in his chocolate brown eyes.

"You did, but when have I ever done something that is required of me?" She sighs, turning her hand over to admire her engagement ring.

"I'm happy for the pair of you." I sniffle, straightening my posture as I refuse to let them tear me apart in my bakery which is supposed to be my safe haven.

"Keri, if you'll just sit down and give me a chance to explain what happened between us, I think you-"

"OUT!" I snap, cutting him off. "I want you both to get out of my bakery, now."

"Keri, please..."

"No," I retort looking at Chase through narrowed eyes. "You have no right to ask anything of me. You have made your bed, now it is time for you to sleep in it."

I turn around and walk to the back of the building, pulling ingredients down from the shelves to start making my infamous chocolate brownies for the day.

I'm barely keeping it together and I want them both gone from my life, for good.

How could he do this to me?

How could he sleep with me, knowing that he had gotten my sister pregnant?

I feel sick just thinking about our passionate nights spent under the stars on his balcony. As soon as I hear the door close behind them and the feeling of being all alone washed over me. I slide down the cold steel refrigerator and I let the torrent of tears loose.

I'm on the brink of losing my bakery, I've lost my boyfriend and it seems like my sanity is hanging on by a thread too.

How, how can fate be so cruel?

My heart still aches painfully as the morning dawned slowly and the hands of the clock ticked past with a taunting rhythm.

It's all helped to shape the niggling sensation of a migraine that's slowly creeping up the sides of my temples.

I don't know what hurts the most, the fact that the two people I cared about dearly were having an affair behind my back, or me truly believing that the ring currently gracing Avas' finger was meant for me.

And no, I'm not delusional. You see, about two weeks ago when Chase had invited me over to his place for dinner, we had spoken about moving in together and starting the next chapter of our lives.

It was time. We had been together for two years and the flame igniting our hearts was still blazing brilliantly.

So I thought.

But now, I feel so foolish, blinded by my fantasies of having a perfect happily ever after with the man whom I believed to be my Mr. Right.

That same night I had spilled red wine over my white dress and I had gone into his room to find something to wear. Upon opening his top left drawer, a small white box caught my attention and my curiosity.

Nibbling on my lower lip, I opened the small box barely containing my excitement when an elegant but sophisticated engagement ring was staring back at me.

Snapping the box shut, I put it back where I found it and rode his cock like my life depended on it beneath the stars that very same night.

In all honesty, I fucked his brains out hoping to show him that by marrying me our sex life would always be thrilling and exciting between us.

What a crock of shite that all turned out to be.

I guess the feeling between us wasn't mutual after all.

"Oh, and two of your double chocolate brownies with crushed pistachios too, please love." Mrs. Brown sings as she derails my train of thought.

I plaster on a smile and nod my head, "Sure, would you like anything else with that?"

"Oh, no. That will be all for the day. You do know that I will be back again tomorrow don't you?" She gives me a pointed look.

I chuckle, nodding my head. "Come on now, Mrs. Brown. How could I forget? You have been my number one customer from the very first day I opened those doors," I motion towards the glass doors behind her.

"Hmmm." She nods her head, placing the brownies inside her shopping bag. "You know, my doctor keeps nagging at me to go for a walk every day and your goodies give me the motivation I need to reach my step count."

I laugh with a genuine smile that touches the corners of my eyes. "Happy to be of help."

As Mrs. Brown places a ten-dollar bill on top of the counter, I slide it back toward her.

"These are on me today."

"Oh, If I had known that, I would have ordered twice as much." She teases with a look of surprise on her face.

I sigh with self-pity encircling me, "I had a really rough start to my day, and you have cheered me up a lot. So this is my way of saying thank you."

As the bell to the door chimes, Mrs. Brown turns around to see who it is. A soft gasp exits her mouth, and she quickly faces me while she softly pats the top of my hand.

"Oh, honey. I think the one that is going to cheer you up is the dashing young man that's just entered your bakery." She says in a hushed tone with excitement.

My eyes instantly drift past her and my gaze lands on the back of this dashing young man she speaks of. He is dressed in a pinstripe suit that looks very expensive, and his short black hair looks glossy as the sunlight touches it.

"I will see you tomorrow, love." Mrs. Brown giggles as my gaze drifts back to her. I swallow thickly and nod my head.

The mysterious man standing in my bakery not only looks like a million bucks from behind, but he also smells like it too.

Woody with tea leaves that smell like sweet spices.

Closing my eyes, I breathe in through my nose and fill my lungs with the expensive scent.

What am I doing?

Upon opening my eyes, I scoff shaking my head, I turn away and start wiping down the walls.

I just got dumped a few hours ago and my inner goddess is already reacting to the first male to grace me with his presence.

The sound of his footsteps approaching the front counter sweeps through the bakery followed by him clearing his throat. Spinning around, I tuck the loose strands from my top knot behind my ear and wipe my hands down the front of my apron.

"Hi, welcome to Appletons Bakery what can I..." I deadpan mid-sentence.

As I raise my head to observe the dashing young man in front of me remove his dark sunglasses, he unveils the penetrating sky-blue eyes that were formerly the only set of eyes in which I voluntarily desired to lose myself.

Clenching my jaw, I curse the heavens for sending me the devil himself in the flesh.

As he too, registers who I am, his eyes turn cold toward me as his lips curl into a cruel smile.

"Well, isn't this a lovely surprise?" He mutters with displeasure. "Who would have thought the business I am trying to purchase belongs to my once-upon-a-time best friend's little sister?"

"Wait, you're the Landry arsehole that is sending me letters about threatening to purchase my bakery with or without my cooperation?" I hiss bitterly, "I should have known it was you!" I quickly remove my apron that suddenly feels two sizes too small around my torso.

In the meantime, Tobias has the audacity to explore my bakery as if he is already plotting what he will do with it after I am evicted, and wrath licks my heated skin.

"A few interior changes will need to be carried out, but I think this place is perfect for what I have in mind with it." He hums with amusement lining his words.

Rushing out from behind the counter, I storm up to him and stab the ball of my index finger into the hard wall of his chest.

Tilting my head back, I look him dead in the eyes. "This is still my bakery, Tobias Landry and if you know what's good for you, you'll leave, now!" One side of my upper lip curls with disdain as I stab my finger into his chest once more.

Without warning, his large fingers wrap around the base of my wrist like fire bands searing into my flesh.

Dipping his head, "It's good to see that you haven't changed one bit spitfire. I look forward to dancing with you in court." He mumbles with a lopsided smirk on his annoyingly handsome face as he drops my hand.

"Wouldn't hold your breath."

"For you, I would walk across a bed of burning nails barefoot just to get what I want."

I inhale sharply as I watch him reapply his sunglasses before turning on his heel and exiting my bakery with a whistle playing on the tip of his tongue.

As the Uber I had to book this morning because my car finally chose to die pulls up to my bakery, my cheeks begin to burn with wrath as I observe many individuals taking photographs and measurements of my establishment.

"Please, don't go anywhere. I have a feeling I am going to need you to take me somewhere else shortly." I plead with the driver as I open the door and exit the vehicle, pulling the strap of my bag over my shoulder.

"What are you men doing outside my bakery this early in the morning without my consent?" I do my best to keep my voice level and fail miserably.

One of the contractors turns around to face me with a clipboard in his hand, "Ah, you must be, Keri. We are here at the request of Mr. Landry."

"Tobias Landry has no business here." I sneer. "This is still my bakery, and you are trespassing."

"Well, technically we are still on council grounds." The contractor replies in a smart arse tone that has one or two of his men giggling beside him.

I walk right up to the middle-aged man who reeks of cigarettes and cheap home-brewed coffee. "You know full well what you are doing, and this is classified as harassment." I turn on my heel, heading back to the Uber that is surprisingly still waiting for me, as I ignore the slur of words that are being directed at me.

"Oh, love, is everything okay?" Mrs. Brown walks up to me with a concerned look on her face.

I come to a halt and sigh, "I'm afraid not. The dashing young man you saw yesterday is anything but dashing, Mrs. Brown." My voice quivers. "He is planning to take my bakery away from me. But, he is in for one hell of a fight if he thinks I am going to just lay down and let him walk all over me like a damn welcome mat."

Mrs. Brown's eyebrows furrow as her gaze shifts to the men outside my bakery. "You are going to see this man and give him a good piece of your mind, aren't you, deary?" She asks as her gaze meets mine with an underlay of rage blazing in her irises.

"I am."

"Good, you go take care of him and I will take care of these men here." She says with determination as she reaches out with her hand and rubs my upper arm.

I shake my head, "Oh, Mrs. Brown, I cannot ask you to do that for me." I reply, on the verge of breaking down in tears.

"Hush, child. I am not about to let these men take away the one reason that gets my old Kahoot out of bed this early every morning."

I nod my head with a soft smile spreading across my face. "Thank you," I say as I lean in and give her a quick but gentle hug.

>>>

After having to look up the address for Landry Enterprises, the Uber driver safely comes to a standstill outside the large building.

I thank him, promising to leave him a five-star review and a fifteen percent tip for being gracious to another shitty start to my morning.

As I enter the building through the revolving door, I quickly brush past the security guard, who is too busy eyeing up one of the female employees with long black hair that falls upon her back like a silk curtain.

I say a silent prayer of thanks to the Goddess for the distracting female being put in my path. The twin doors to an elevator begin to slide open, and I quickly step through them as a throng of people dressed in expensive suits and attire exit the car.

Looking down at myself, I pull my white sun dress down feeling a little self-conscious, knowing that I stick out like a sore thumb with my second-hand dress and cheap ballet shoes.

In my defense, I didn't intend to come here, and I'm dressed comfortably as I am on my feet all day serving customers and baking. Lifting my chin, I stare straight ahead, ignoring the scornful looks I am receiving as people pile into the car after me.

"Can someone please press the button to Tobias Landry's office?" I say out loud.

An employee with short blonde hair styled into a perfect bob turns her head to look at me, "And what business could someone like you have with Mr. Landry?" She asks me in a menacing tone.

"My business with Mr. Landry is just that, my business."

"The level you are looking for is the top floor." A male's voice unexpectedly sweeps through the small car. "I do hope that you have made an appointment to see him, or you will be forced to leave the premises."

"Hmm, maybe Mr. Landry should take a page out of his book and abide by it. If it's okay for him to come to my place of business and-"

"And what business is this that you own dressed the way you are?" The blonde female with green eyes asks as she rudely cuts me off.

"The Appleton Bakery."

"Thee, Appleton Bakery?" The male's voice sweeps through the car once again with surprise.

"Yes, the one and only Appleton bakery on Queens Street," I reply with pride and fulfillment.

The elevator car begins to slow down before the doors glide open, letting everyone off at the thirteenth level and revealing the male who so kindly told me what level to go to.

He is dressed in a blue pinstripe suit that screams expensive and way out of your league. He stands in the doorway with his hands spread wide open to stop the doors from closing on him as he looks at me with an unreadable expression on his face.

But his chocolate brown eyes tell a different story, as they are soft and inviting; filled with sin and excitement only to be experienced between the bedsheets.

I shake my head, gulping as the explicit thoughts of his large, strong hands exploring every inch of my naked flesh sends a surge of vibrating tingles through me.

As he kindly presses the button for me on the elevator control panel, his gaze is heavy on mine, "Your apple turnovers were a hit to the meeting I brought last week."

I swallow with surprise, "That was you who ordered thirty apple turners to be made the day before you needed them?" I scoff finally being able to put a face to the name that had me staying back ultra late as I cursed every star under the sun for the large order.

"It was, and I'm glad I made the order where you were able to deliver without any theatrical behavior." He reaches into the breast pocket of his suit jacket and offers me his business card. "My name's Davis and if you ever wanna, I don't know, grab a coffee sometime, you just dial the number on the back of my card and I'll make it happen." He says, with one side of his mouth curling into a lopsided smirk.

I clear my throat, feeling my cheeks burn with fever, and I tuck the card into the front pocket of my bag. "I'll keep that in mind, Davis."

He nods his head, stepping out of the doorway as the door chimes and starts to close. He stands there, looking at me until the doors slide shut, and the car begins to ascend. I lift my hands and place them over my cheeks, feeling them burn with giddiness.

I have no intention of calling Davis, but the thought that I was able to catch his attention makes me feel good about myself even though I am dressed cheaply without an ounce of makeup on, too.

But then the smile instantly drops from my face as the realization of me catching the attention of a possible creep sinks in, and makes me feel sick to my stomach all over again.