Through It All

Sophia closes the back door quietly not wanting to wake up the servants. No one must know about this. She crosses her arms as the chilled morning wind welcomes her to the town of Lakewood, the town that watched her grow up. Everyone is fast asleep. Except for a few birds chirping lazily as if waking up from their restful night. She positions her hood in a way that shields her face, it wouldn't be convenient if the neighbors saw her sneaking out her splendid house. In fact, sneaking out was the only way to meet Daniel. Something a young lady of her caste should definitely not do.

She arrives at her destination. A rather dark and filthy alley with puddles of mud remaining from last night's rain. She jumps up from a sudden movement under her skirt, with her heart beating fast, she sees that is just a rat running to the nearest hiding spot. She laughs noticing how paranoid she was being. She's done this multiple times. She sneaks out of her home as often as she can, just to meet a boy who certainly, does not seem obligated to sneak out from his home, for he is son of the mayor of Lakewood; he is rich, powerful, handsome, but with a past he failed to mention.

? ? ???

One cold night in December, the Smith family, wanting to share their wealth with the commoners, organized the biggest Christmas party in town. Of course all the population of Lakewood attended and so did the Willis family.

Sophia, the youngest member of the Willis family, was ecstatic. A young girl such as herself, always enjoyed a big get together, it never really mattered who were the hosts, just who were going to be there. She wore her best dress, and her best smile. This was the time to let young men know that she was now available for marriage. The problem was that she was a conservative girl whose father shielded her from the outside world for as long as it was possible. She never spoke unless spoken to, she enjoyed reading, she played the piano and her reputation was impeccable. But young boys never seem to notice these qualities. They seemed to notice women like her eldest and only sister, Lucia Willis.

Lucia is a fun and popular girl. She laughs and giggles whenever she's speaking to a handsome man; she likes to talk loudly so people will hear her, even if she had nothing very important to say. It's enough to say that her reputation is quite scandalous. Lucia has been married twice. Her first husband, a mature steelworker, decided to leave the country for a better future and Lucia refused to follow him. She took advantage of this situation and claimed to be a widow. Her second husband, a young theatre actor, couldn't stand her promiscuous behavior, abandoned her within the first months of their marriage. How she did it to be married twice and still have suitors at her feet? Was beyond anyone's understanding.

At last, when Sophia turned eighteen, it was her turn to be wed. She dreamt and dreamt of her wedding day, her husband, her family, and her future. As expected, she was taught by her governess and sometimes her mother how to behave appropriately, how to cook and sow, she learned to play the piano in the hopes to impress the man she was going to marry. Her preparation since her birth was to be a good, dedicated wife. Now, she felt more than ready to start with her life. And that night's Ball, was her chance to find whom she was going to marry.

But she found Daniel instead.

Daniel is a handsome man with blonde hair and blue eyes, every girl's dream. He comes from a big wealthy family and seems to have everything. And with his charming smile, he seduced young Sophia Willis. Sophia fell head over heels for him. He was friendly, caring and he was a gentleman. One look at him and she knew or thought she knew, he was the one. He asked her for a dance, and a lady never denies such invitation from such a distinguished man.

? ? ???

Sophia stands firmly as she waits for him. She holds on to her cape tightly around her chest trying to get warm. Her head turns every direction worried that Daniel might not show up. She needs to tell him something very important and she knows it can't wait much longer. When she sees a dark shadow appear from the far end of the alley, she recognizes him right away, the shadow walks tall and proud, it was Daniel. When he sees her, he runs to her and holds her tightly against his chest feeling her warmth. She closes her eyes enjoying the moment, he lifts her face with his warm hands and leans forward aiming for her lips, but she pulls away rapidly. Daniel is frustrated but he tries not to show it. Sophia clears her throat knowing she can no longer postpone it.

"Daniel, there is something I have to tell you."

He looks confused but waits patiently. "What is it?"

She looks down on the ground then at him, and then back at the ground. "My father has been searching for suitors."

Daniel's face changes drastically. "Has he?"

Sophia holds his hands in hers. "Yes he is. You need to talk to him before he makes a decision."

He steps back in hesitantly. "Tell him that you are not ready, at least not yet."

Sophia blinks at his reply. "I can't do that, he has already postponed it for far too long because of me."

"Tell him you don't want to get married..." he trails off as he paces back and forth.

She doesn't understand why he isn't getting what she is saying, so she tries a more direct approach, "You can go talk to him and ask for my hand..."

"I can't do that, I can't, " he says angrily.

Sophia stares at him puzzled. "Why not?"

He looks at her and holds her hands abruptly. "Because... because of your father... he won't accept."

"Of course he will, you are well educated and you come from a good family..."

"He won't, " he interrupts and wipes the drops of sweat off his forehead with his sleeve.

Sophia doesn't like the sight of it. "Daniel, I don't know if you are aware but I want something serious. I want to be with you and I don't want to hide from our families anymore. I want us to become official."

"I know, I know and I want that too, but we don't have to get married." His face brightens and he reaches for her. "Let's run away, you and me. We can go to a place where no one will bother us, where we can live our lives without any obligations."

"I am telling you I want something serious and you want us to elope?"

He drops his arms irritated. "Running away can be our chance to have a whole life time together."

"Marriage can't be that chance?" Sophia can't comprehend his reaction, why was he being so evasive? "Daniel, do you want to marry me?" she adds with a sick feeling in her stomach.

"Of course I do, but now is not a good time."

"But it is a good time to elope?"

"Don't tell me it doesn't sound tempting." He circles around her and wraps his arms around her waist. "You and me in the Caribbean enjoying the warm sun."

"I can't just drop everything and leave, " she retorts as she pulls away from his grip.

"Why not?" he yells. She has never seen him so angry before.

"It's bad enough I sneak out to see you unchaperoned, can't you imagine how much worse leaving would be?"

Daniel's face hardens, "If you truly loved me, you would flee with me without even thinking twice."

This hurt her. To question her love for him made her heart break. She closes her eyes tightly holding her tears back, "If you love me, you wouldn't have suggested it."

"I do love you, it's just that you don't understand, marriage, " he pauses to unravel his thoughts, "Marriage is a massive step, and I don't think we are ready for such a big commitment."

"Well, you might not be but I am. That's why I am telling you now. If you don't talk to my father, who knows with whom he will set me up with." He starts pacing back and forth again, but this time in a very nervous matter, Sofia starts getting worried. She suddenly sees that something is not quite right. "Daniel." He doesn't stop to even look at her. "Daniel, please." She steps in front of him blocking him, "What's wrong? Is there something you are not telling me?"

He looks into her eyes and she sees his desperation. "There is, " he answers. She waits for more but he seems to hesitate. "I am a married man."

Sophia felt her heart drop. "Married?" He nods. "You are not married. If you don't want to marry me just tell me, you don't have to invent such things."

He holds her face tenderly. "I am not lying. I've been married for six months. My wife is away with her family."

"Why is she away?" she asks carefully as she pulls her hands away from him.

He takes a deep breath, "She needs help with her pregnancy."

There aren't enough words to describe what she is feeling, anger doesn't come close. Her chest starts hurting and there is a tight feeling on her throat. How could she have been such an idiot? That explains why he always wanted to hide their reunions and why he refused to meet with her father. The hints were right there in front of her, but oh no, she was too blind. In one swift motion, her hand hits him across his face. He is too shocked to react.

"How could you do this to me?" she says between cries. "You were just playing with me, weren't you? I am such an idiot!"

"Sophia, let me explain." He reaches to her but she steps back. "I am in love with you."

"Stop, stop, talking, please, " she whispers painfully.

But he continues, "I don't love my wife, I love you, and I would do anything to be with you but I can't marry you."

Sophia can't seem to contain herself, she starts crying openly, she tries to hide her anguish but the pain is unbearable. Covering her face, she starts walking away; he can't see her this way.

Daniel doesn't want her to leave, he can't bear seeing her so miserable. "Sophia... please, let me explain. . ." he holds her arm trying to see her face.

"Don't touch me, " she commands and pulls away furiously. Before she breaks down completely, she decides to run as far as she could from him.

Daniel freezes. He watches the young girl run off into the distance, her dress flowing behind her. The most beautiful girl running out of the alley, out of his life.

? ??? ?

After three hours of walking around Lakewood, she decides to move on. Daniel was not worth her tears, he wasn't worth anything. Just to think of her being the other woman makes her feel so nauseated. She bends down struggling to breathe. While Daniel's wife was bearing his child he was wooing her and she stupidly fell for it. She stands up firmly, her mind made up, no matter how much she loved Daniel, she is going to move on. Sure, it seems impossible now, but she will eventually move on. She will allow her father to pick a suitor and she will agree to meet with him, what a best way to forget him by meeting her future husband? Though the thought of marrying someone else breaks her heart, she has no other choice but to keep moving forward. It is the only way.

Sophia arrives home and opens the front door slowly trying not to make a sound. The room is empty; she walks in, takes off her shoes and runs up the stairs while holding her dress. When she lastly comes to her room, she smiles satisfied. She was able to leave her house without anyone noticing, she smiles as she hangs her cape, no one even noticed she was gone.

"Hello Sophie."

She freezes and turns slowly. She finds her sister lying on her side on Sophia's bed, with that grin on her face Sophia never really liked. "How was your morning?" Sophia chooses to ignore her and stands in front of the fire place. "That good?"

"Lucia, please. I am not in the mood, " she answers without turning.

"Father claims he found the perfect husband for you." Sophia heard a tone that sent chills down her spine. "He is very handsome."

"That's nice."

"Sophie." Lucia lays a hand on her shoulder. "I hope you have better luck with marriage than I have."

"That shouldn't be a problem, " Sophia replies.

Lucia laughs. "You are young, that is precisely what I use to say when I was your age."

Sophia finds it extremely difficult to ignore her sister's nasty comments. "Listen Lucia, the difference here will be, once I get married, I will not go around flirting with every man I see and I will not get involved with the servants. Unlike you, I will follow our parents' teachings."

Lucia laughs even louder. "Like you were following them this morning and who knows how many other mornings?"

Sophia knows she's right and she could see Lucia's chest puffed up with pride. Sophia clomps towards her sister, her hands ready to wrench on her pretty blonde hair. Lucia laughs loudly as she dances gracefully out of her room.

"What is going on here?" Gilda, Sophia's chaperone, steps in with authority.

"Sorry, it's Lucia, she can drive me so mad, " Sophia explains.

"Now, now, don't pay much attention to her. You are better than that, " Gilda says in a soothing voice as she rubs her back comfortingly. Sophia nods as her breathing comes back to normal. "Your father wishes to speak to you."

That sick feeling she had earlier returns. "For what purpose?"

Her anguished face made Gilda laugh sweetly. "You will see, " she replies as she touches her cheek softly.

"Please, come in."

Adam steps inside carefully, and watches his father deep in thought as he looks out the window. When he turns, he sees a smile he is so accustomed to see. Adam Lancaster is a tall, handsome man with an athletic body. His eyes are blue and deep, his mother says that his eyes are full of yearning for knowledge. And maybe, that was true. Adam is a very astute man, he enjoys reading every subject possible, his yearning for knowledge new no boundaries. He spends time with his friends at the plaza reading the adventures of Don Quixote. Girls that had the fortune to listen to his deep voice narrating the story, fall in love in that instant, for his elegant voice and fluent vocabulary, makes it almost impossible not to.

Adam is a man of knowledge but when it comes to his social life, he is the king. Ever since he graduated from the university and decided to come back home to help with his father's business, his popularity grew almost overnight. He not only has a wide circle of friends but he also has a wide circle of admirers. Like any man around the globe, he enjoys the attention. He talks to them sweetly and woos them so their love for him won't subside. But his father, Adam Lancaster Senior, wants his son to stop his childish ways and settle down with a wife. He has seen his son talking and smiling coquettishly to young girls, and he is not proud of what he sees.

For Mr. Lancaster sees his old self. He too was clever and he was also a popular young man. And if life taught him anything, was that popularity didn't mean a thing. Being popular never made him happy. If it wasn't for his wife, he would have so many friends but he would also be so lonely.

Mr. Lancaster stands on his feet and gives his son a great embrace. Adam's confused. His father never acted in such a way unless it was his birthday or he had been recognized for one thing or another.

"Tomorrow, " he lastly says as he pulls away.

"What about tomorrow?"

His father chuckles as if he has heard something humorous. "Tomorrow you will meet your intended."

That is what Adam suspected. "Now that you've mentioned it, I want to talk to you about my independence."

His father laughs louder and sits back behind his desk. "Sure, let's talk about your independence."

"Well, now that I've come to the age of twenty two, I deserve more liberties, don't you agree?"

His father nods. "Indeed I do. That is why you dress on your own and walk down the streets without the maid holding your hand."

Adam runs his fingers through his hair. "We can add choosing a wife on that list."

"We cannot. You are still too young, " he replies.

"I am not a toddler, I am twenty two, " Adam reminds him.

"Exactly my point. We don't know what we want at that age."

"I am sure I know what I want in the woman that I will spend the rest of my life with."

His father raises his eyebrows. "Do you, now? Well, who would you consider to be your wife?"

That gets him by surprise. He hasn't really thought about it. All he is trying to do is to postpone the engagement, now he has to think of a girl. "Well, Lacy, Lacy Robling. She is good looking, smart and..."

"Seductive? You see, you thought of the most attractive girl in town, " his father interrupts.

"Is that wrong?" Adam replies.

"Yes. There are values to consider, interests, morals, traditions, not just beauty itself."

Adam raises his hands in defeat. "All I am saying is that, I must at least have a say in my own engagement."

"You will." His father smiles. "We shall meet her tomorrow."

"May I at least know her name?" Adam insists.

"Sure you may, Sophia Marie Willis."

Satisfied with the name, he excuses himself and decides to go to the library. He repeats the name inside his head. Does he know her? The name sounds familiar. He doesn't know her but he knows her sister, Lucia Willis. In Fact, he knows Lucia very well. There was something about her that at one point, he found irresistible. She was very appealing, blonde hair and a voluptuous body. He smiles at himself, last time he saw Lucia was at Mona's House. She was the most popular dancer in the place and a very passionate one too. She was loud and she laughed with everyone. He remembers plenty of Lucia, but Sophia... has he seen Lucia's sister before? He has, but he didn't pay much attention to her.

What's the use, he has no idea who she is, and now he is expected to marry her? What a strange thing. He tries again to remember something, anything about her. She had dark long hair, she was younger than Lucia, and she was quiet. That is all he recalls from the time the Mayor had the Christmas Ball. Since he was mostly with his friends, he only caught a glimpse of her. He did noticed how extremely introverted she was. She stayed at her mother's side while Lucia was on the dance floor dancing with five different men. Sophia barely talked and the only time she danced was when Daniel asked her. For some reason, Daniel was fascinated by her at the time; Adam didn't see why a man like Daniel would be so hypnotized by a girl like Sophia.

Whatever it was, Adam was going to find out tomorrow.

"Adam Lancaster?" Sophia asks in surprise.

She's standing in front of her parents, as they just told her the news. Her father smiles proudly as he watches her. Sophia was not expecting this at all. Adam Lancaster? The man who reads out loud at the plaza with his friends? The popular man whose Father owns the town's carpentry? The man who Lucia is so madly in love with even though she doesn't recognize it?

"Yes, we spoke to Mr. Lancaster Sr. and he agreed immediately, he is so fond of you, " her mother replied interrupting her thoughts.

Her father looks at her daughter attentively; he sees something is wrong. "Sophia, are you alright?"

Sophia smiles. "Yes, I am surprised, that's all."

Her mother laughs. "Dou you know Adam?"

"Yes, well, only by sight."

Her mother was about to talk when Lucia interrupts, "Don't you think he is charming?" she says dreamily.

Sophia doesn't know how to reply, she never talks about men, less with her sister.

"He is a well-educated man with good manners, isn't that all that matters?" His father says while turning to Sophia, Sophia smiles, relieved that she didn't have to search for a reply. "Tomorrow we will be having them over for dinner; I want you to look your best."

"I will father, " Sophia replies, trying to convince herself that Daniel is no longer one of her the choices.

??? ? ???

The day has come to an end and after spending the day with her French tutor reciting poems, Sophia is exhausted. She is in her room sitting in front of her dressing table, while Gilda brushes her hair.

"Gilda, " Sophia starts unsure if she should ask. "Do you think Mr. Lancaster is the one I should marry?"

Gilda doesn't stop brushing her hair. "Your mother thinks so."

"What do you think?" she asks. Gilda's opinion was most important rather than her own mother's at a time like this.

"Well, is too soon to tell. Do you not want to marry him?"

"I don't know. What I really want to ask is, do you think he will want to marry me?"

"I don't see why he wouldn't. You are a very pretty girl with a great personality."

Sophia hesitates to answer but her mind is filled with so much confusion she starts, "When I see him out on the streets, I see someone who is confident, who seems to have everything under control. When he walks, he walks like he knows exactly where he wants to go. He is always around surrounded by his friends and everyone seems to like him. Now look at me, we have nothing in common."

Gilda finishes braiding her hair and looks at her through the mirror. "You don't know that yet. When I see you, I do see a confident young woman, who knows how to behave and who demands people to respect her. If he doesn't see that, then he must be blind."

"Please don't try to spare my feelings. I know I am not the most exciting person. I don't know how to change that, and I don't think I can. Mr. Lancaster... he is the kind of person who people want to be around with. He need to marry someone who is just as admired as he is; it's only fair."

Gilda doesn't like the way she is talking, so she pulls a chair next to her and says firmly, "Stop talking like that Sophia. You might think Adam is a popular man and that he has so many friends, but I bet that deep inside, he is not as happy as you think." She can see Sophia's skepticism so she continues, "I talked to Martha, the Lancaster's maid, and she said that the reason Lancaster Senior chose you to be his son's wife is because he feels like you might do well to him. You might be his medicine."

"Medicine for what? He seems happy."

"Sophia, you know that we can see faces but we can't tell how they feel in their hearts."

Sophia is not quite convinced, she's the girl whom people say is very quiet. A girl others would call insipid. She is the remedy that Adam needs? The popular man who has so much to give to this world? Her hands start to tremble as she comes to the realization that tomorrow evening, she will meet her future fiancé, but what if he didn't like her? What if he finds her boring? What if he fails to impress Adam Lancaster?