The world I Found Myself.

It was Thursday afternoon around 12 pm, I was alone in my room playing a Piano Fire game and shouting as I enjoyed the game,

Ade!, Ade! She shouted and tapped me.

Ma, I answered but a little bit annoyed because I lost the game immediately she distracted me. I removed the earpiece and look into her eyes. I have packed the cloth mummy (what else did you want, was the next thing in my mind to say but I dare not).

Kola called me, she wanted to speak with you, but she said your line is unavailable. What is the use of your phone when you keep putting it on airplane mode just to play this rubbish game? Is this how you will be doing when you got admitted into the University? she asked

I'm sorry momma, I will call her back right away. I said and called my best friend Kola.

She told me our JAMB results were out.

Seriously!! Have you checked yours? I asked

Sure, she replied.

..... So what is the score, I asked with a hopeful thought

You know am not good at guessing, I told her when she asked me to guess.

Any way maybe 210, I said

Oh you are close, 208 she said on the other line

Alhamdulillah robbilãlameen (all praise to God) I said as I jumped out of my room.

What's the matter with you, my mom asked.

Kola's result is 208, she will surely get admitted into her dream school. I said with a bright smile

That girl is very ideal and serious, see you don't even know the results are out, is either you are playing a game or calculating the money you never touch or see, just on paper. So, when are you planning to check yours? What am I saying check it on your phone na? Let's see it together, my mom said and urge me to sit.

No, I can't check my good result on this techno phone, I am going to the cafeteria to check it on the system, wild screen you know Mom, I replied with a grin.

Allah(God) will help you, get out of my way I need to return to work, my mom said.

Mom started preparing for my change of location, your Accountant will be right back. I said as I dail my bike man's number.

Kola, can we meet at Mr. Enny's office, I am sure you will want to print out your result, I said trying to convince her.

No problem, I will be late because I will be trekking, she said.

We're you, I just called Mr. Arowona to come and take me, I will tell him to pass your side, I said

No problem, I am at my dad's workshop, she said.

Ok, Doc. Kola, I said with a smile.

I will be expecting you Lady Accountant.

Stop whining (teasing) me joor(please).

You start it first she said on the other line.

MTN is asking me to speak, you wasted my airtime, I said and cut the call

I think you made a mistake sir, 1 what!!

Ade calm down, kola said

My head went blank, I can't believe what I am seeing, 184 I am expecting more than this, all my hope and dream become shattered, it was clear on the computer screen, mathematics 37, English 48, Account 59, Economics 40, the tear was threatening to fall, my eye looked down on the computer screen, it was 2:00 pm, my tears drop and fell on Mr. Eniola's hand,

Take heart Nofisat he said,

that name I felt people call me that name when I don't do things right,

When my Mom is happy with me she said Ade, when I am in trouble and she wants to call me she always says Nofisat!! I thought

Kola didn't know what to say, all she does was to path my back,

JAMB is by grace, it is not by what you do, you can change schools and move on, to me you have tried your best, a girl came this morning and her result is much lower than this,

I can't fack a smile this time, I nod my head and walk out, all lost in my thought, I can't even stand to face my mom, and now I begin to regret not viewing the result at home, I laughed at myself, and walk into the mosque to said my prayers, I cried throughout,

What is the next thing to do, I plan to aspect my worst and embrace the future, first, I plan to go to the university end,

Google become my new friend instantly, I make research for school that can aspect my grade, but everything was in vain.

I know the only hope for me is to attend polytechnic, and this break my heart, it was the worst experience I had, there is a polytechnic in my home town, and I am quite sure if I don't make it to University that is the place my parents will prefer for me to go because they will want to monitor me and I will be with them and it will bring down House rent cost and some other thing, my dream to see the world end and just as I expected I found myself attending the screening of the polytechnic in my home town.

Nothing is new I have visited the institution before, and I pass there anytime I was sent to market, I meet a lot of students attending the screening too, and they are all amazed, looking at the campus environment, we were asked to stay in a queue for some minutes, kola calls me to comfort and told me she did entrance examination.

Entrance examination, that is why the university is better than the polytechnic, you can't believe that we are just asked to stay in a queue since, and those that made it in said they just ask for the WACE result, JAMB result, and change of institution slip, for someone like me that did a change of institution.

Seriously, kola said.

So how was the examination, I asked

I was nervous but put all my efforts into it, the school said the result will be out after 72 hours and the school will give us Admission if we pass.

So what happens if you don't I asked

God forbid, but according to the supervisor he said, you will be given administration to study another course, something like that.

Okay I wish you the best, I said and cut the call.

To be sincere I am so jealous of my dear friend, she is my childhood friend, and this is the first time she is taking a step higher than mine, I cut the stupid thoughts in my head off.

That was when I noticed that I am lost,

Hey excuse me I am here before you, I told the guy wearing glasses who took my space.

My name is Emmanuel, he said and raised his hand.

I am not in the mood for the formality, but I took his hand anyway.

Call me Ade, I said

Which department, he said

Accounting, why are you asking

Accounting just entered the hall some moment ago, this is the public administration queue.

What!! I looked very worried that moment

How about speaking with security?

Ok, that's all I said.

Emmanuel helped me and I was able to enter after he gave the security, a sum of Five hundred Naira.

I smile at him, Thank you.

Don't mention, hurry up, I wish you the best. He said

I saw a sit and sat like the rest of the students, the Hall is very huge and I can see two people attending to a student each.

I breathed in and out and raised my hand.

A lady saw me and asked me to be patient and that my attendant will be with me soon.

He arrived late than I expected, he collect my documents and ask me some questions, after that he said I will receive a message after 78 hours, immediately I set an alarm for that, the attendant looks at me a laughed, I was confused, are you making jest of me right now, I thought.

I felt hungry and moved out of the hall, since I am done with the screening, the next thought in my head was Emmanuel, where is he I searched the queue, but he is nowhere to be found, and that is how I never see him again.

I visit the school website on my techno phone, to check the message, I was... No words could describe how I felt, it suppose to be a piece of good news, but it turns out very bad for me. This is how it was written

Congratulations you have been offered admission to study Business Administration.

Congratulations on your success at the 2021/2022 Admission screening exercise. You are to proceed with the payment of Acceptance fees and school fees immediately on the institute's portal -https://www.newportal.....edg.ng on or before September 01, 2021. Failure to make payments may lead to withdrawal of admission.

Upload original copies of O'level, Birth certificate, and L.G.A certificate on the institution's portal.

Also, UPLOAD YOUR O'LEVEL RESULT IN JAMB PORTAL to obtain your JAMB admission letter.

Admissions office.

God who did I offend, why me,

why this!!!!

Then the picture of the attendant laughing recalled what Kola said was repeating in my head at the same time,

God forbid, but according to the supervisor he said, you will be given administration to study another course, something like that, ..... but according to the supervisor he said, you will be given administration to study another course, something like that......you will be given administration to study another course!!

I almost got insane at this point, so does it mean I am not qualified to study Accounting?

My phone get my attention, it was Kola's call.

Baby girl guess what!! Kola said on the other line

You passed the entrance examination. I said in a very cold manner.

Yeah, I am very happy, she said

I guess she didn't know from my voice that something is wrong.

So how was your screening? She asked

I was so disappointed in myself that I can't say that I was given admission to study another course. All I did was cut the call and turned off my phone.

The pain is so much that no tears could be found in my eyes.

No, I can't accept this, no never!!

I will wait till next year and redo the JAMB, which will surely do, and by then, I will get admission into my dream school.

I was talking to myself, not giving myself any chance to accept the reality.

JAMB Form 7k

Transport fee to my JAMB center and feeding fee 8k

Change of institution 15k

Screening fee 3k

All together, Thirty-Three Thousand Naria.

Come to think of it, which parent will spend this much on her daughter, and she wastes it, she expects then to risk and spend the same amount on her the following year.

I forgot to include the tutorial fee, my parents spend when preparing for the JAMB examination.

I did the tutorial for 6 Months, 5k every month, 5×6= 30, that's thirty thousand Naria plus thirty-three thousand Naria = Sixty Three Thousand Naria.

The pen I am holding fell from my hand.

This account is a loss, a big loss

You invested in a business, but the organization collapsed, the director then ask you to reinvent the business that he hoped the organization will be productive.

If I decide to redo the JAMB next year, will my parent pay for the tutorial fee, what assurance did I have that I will pass the JAMB examination?

Zero assurance, I said to myself.

My parents have spent this much on me, they are the type who will support your dream.

I know it well that if I tell them, I want to study Business administration, all they will do is to wish me the best in it.

This time, I don't want as appear as a loser, I want to confidently tell my parents that I am the one who chooses to study Business Administration.

But the inner me knows it well, that's not what I want.

I want to save my pride, I don't want to be a liability, I want to call my friend and tell her I am doing fine, I want to lie to her that in fact, the polytechnic is good than I expected, I want the account to end with profit not loss

I searched Business Administration on Google Chrome.

In simple terms, business administration is the work of managing an organization's resources, time, and people. Business administration professionals work to ensure that businesses and organizations are run effectively, efficiently, and profitably.

Not bad, I said so it's all about management, tears fall from my eyes, so this is, who I want to become, no this is who I find myself becoming.

Stop crying darling, I said and played my favorite game piano fire game to feel better, it was not helping, so I decided to take a nap.

I work up late at night, or should I say my mom woke me up, as soon as she was back from work, she is a fashion designer, and her major is weeding outfits both for females and males.

Sister we are preparing your favorite today, my sister Fathia said.

Okay, that's all I said

What's the matter my mom asked.

Matter like,

We all know you are always on the moon, anytime we prepare spaghetti, obviously something is not right. Mom said.

I'm happy as you said, I am a big girl now, so I need to behave myself. I replied.

Lady Accountant is now a big girl, fathia said

Lady Accountant..., excuse me Mom I need to use the bathroom.

I ran inside the bathroom, open the tap and cry my heart out, I opened the tap so that they will not hear me crying.

I make use of the opportunity to take my night bath. Just as I planned, they did not notice I went in to cry.

I change into my nightwear, I return to the kitchen, the aroma of spaghetti filled all the kitchen.

Mummy, my plate is the one on the right, make sure it is full. Please Mom I said and for that moment I forgot about all my pain.

My Dad came back when we are all enjoying dinner at the dining table.

My siblings went to their respective rooms, but my Dad said we have a meeting.

I was not surprised because I also want to discuss something with them.

Ade, how was the screening result, my dad asked.

It was fine, Dad I changed my course to

Business Administration, I said faking a bright smile.

Why!!, my mom and dad asked at the same time.

That was my choice, I found out

Business Administration and I am interested in it, I am sorry I didn't inform you.

when I did change institutions, I change my course also. It was a lie

So what makes you interested in Business Administration, my dad was the first to ask.

I am curious too, my mom said.

Business Administration is all about management, it helps the organization to make profits more because it helps to maximize everything concerning the business.

I want to help a company develop someday, I want to manage a company.

I think I prefer it to accounting, it's just preparing the organization transaction, while this helps the organization to be productive, A manager will determine the profit to be given to an accountant, you know Dad.

It's fine if that's what you want, my Dad said.

I think the Business Administration is better, Allah(GOD) will guide you, my dear.

The inner me wants to say out loud that, preparing the organization transaction is what I want, who cares if a Business Administrator, manages the company?

So should I start calling you manager Ade? My mom said jokingly.

(Manager Ade. That is not my liking)

I nod in response to her.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you that, I have been offered admission to study, Business Administration. I announce to my parents.

Wow! That is great news, isn't it? My Mom said.

Yes is it my dear, my Dad said.

I can't stop my tear, it's a Good new mummy I said.

Stop tearing up dear, my Dad said

Let my daughter cry, it's tears of joy, my mom said.

So what's the next step, my Dad asked.

I still can't believe that my first Child is now in Higher Institution. My mom said.

I am to pay the Acceptance fee before September 1st and do some uploading on the school portal and JAMB portal.

I might resume school after the payment. I said.

When are you planning to tell us that, my dad said.

Darling, don't be harsh, today is a good day, my mom said, and path my dad's back.

It's fine dear.

What is this, did they forget I am still standing here? I said to myself.

You can go now, we will discuss the rest tomorrow, my wife needs to rest early.