The intimate obsession

The evening sun casts long shadows across the park. My heart races as I stand in the shadow of a large oak tree, my eyes fixed on Jason and an unknown woman. The woman is elegant with long dark hair and a poised demeanor. The grip on the purse in my hand tightened as I watched the woman's hand brush against Jason's arm, a fleeting gesture that sent a pang of jealousy through my veins. The woman's laughter was like a gesture breeze on a summer day, and Jason's smile was captivating, his eyes crinkling at the corner as he leaned in closer to her.

My eyes lingered on Jason, tracing the familiar contours of his face, his strong jawline, the piercing eyes that seemed to see through me. Suddenly the sound of my name "Nina" carried on the gentle breeze, breaking the spell that held me transfixed.

"Nina!! Nina!!" The voice called again and cut through my thoughts, as Jason and the unknown woman drove off in his luxurious car. even the Christmas air didn't feel like one anymore because of the wave of emotions contrasting within me, my eyes remained fixed on the spot where Jason's car had driven off, my mind still processing the encounter, I watched as the car grew smaller and smaller until it was out of sight, my gaze gradually returned to the present. I swiveled around to face the person who had called my name, and it was Brad, a workmate I had collaborated with on many projects. Stood out in his unconventional style, sporting thick-framed glasses, a pocket protector, and a shirt with a subtle sheen, his unkempt hair and endearingly awkward smile add to his endearing nerd persona.

Despite his bookish appearance, there's an air of quiet confidence about him, suggesting a sharp mind and a quick wit.

"You are still here? I could have sworn you departed a while back", his voice tinged with confusion. He smiled down at me, his eyes twinkling." I had left the office end-of-the-year party earlier than anticipated with the excuse that I don't like staying out late, only to find myself standing in the park, staring at Jason and his mysterious woman from afar, like a love-sick puppy.

Redirecting the conversation, I asked for a spontaneous downtown adventure, "let's have a quick snack in the city" I said, letting out a soft smirk.

"No," said Brad, "I have got prior engagement and don't want to cancel". "Alright, I won't push", I said with a smile as he turned to leave. "Merry Christmas Nina", he said over his shoulder, I called out in response"Merry Christmas Brad" my voice barely above a whisper.

The Christmas light twinkled around as I took a stroll down the road to my favorite restaurant, the soft gust of wind rustled through the leaves, caressing me with its gentle touch, I took a deep breath, my heart was heavy, like an emptiness in my heart, perhaps from the event of the night.

The thought left a bitter and unforgettable memory in my head, but I dismissed it and tried to keep my mind as numb and as blank as possible, I can't think about it, I try hard to forget it, cause I don't want to start crying again, " No, not out here".

I swung by the restaurant for a quick bite, ordering french fries, but with the clock ticking and my aversion to late night, I chose to take my order to go. I paid and headed out, I slipped on my Jacket and hailed a cab to take me home.

The flat was quiet and empty when I got in, I turned on the television and tuned in to a music channel, so the noise could fill the silence, to be able to get rid of the uncomfortable and awkward silence.

I took out the transparent white glass cup with a subtle sheen, poured wine into it, took a sip, and immediately puckered up. " it was a tart wine with a harsh finish.

I raised a glass to myself and swayed gently to the rhythm of the music, slowly reminiscing on the past event, I jolted out of my thoughts by my phone's ring,

"who could that be?" I thought to myself before reaching for my bag to grab my phone.

"Hey Nina"

came the voice at the other end, recognizing the voice, I replied with a a lack of emotion

"Hey Jason"

"did you get my package?" Jason asked.

" package? I shrugged, no I didn't "

"Okay, a package is on its way to you, there might be a delay, but still, it will arrive eventually". he uttered. As I pondered the mystery of the package, my mind became a whirlwind of possibility, I kept wondering what the content of the package would be, could it be a heartfelt letter or a tender moment? Or perhaps a larger, more substantial package? I kept wondering.

The next day, on Christmas morning, I was woken by a buzz at the door.

" delivery for Ms. Nina," an unenthusiastic detached voice answered, and a feeling of excitement washed over me, I hurried downstairs and found a middle-aged woman loosely chewing gum, holding a box and leaning against the wall, I signed for the package and took it upstairs.

The box is small and surprisingly light, " what could be inside" I thought to myself while shaking it to ascertain the content.

As I opened the package, a slender wand of cash slipped out, followed by a note card. The note was scribbled in Jason's familiar handwriting. And the text on the note card reads...

"Merry Christmas Nina, "I didn't know what to get you, so I thought I'd give you cash instead." Have a nice celebration, Nina".

I stared at the typed note and the cash, speechless, my heart was expanding, and and I felt a tender bruise that throbs with every memory, a lingering soreness that wouldn't fade. I grabbed my phone to call him, curious about why he was still sending me gifts.

I have made it clear to him before that I don't want his money or gifts, I'm capable of taking care of myself, what I truly desire is his affection and companionship. I tried calling him twice, but he didn't pick up, and my anger escalated with each unsuccessful attempt, just as I was about to try again, he finally called back.

I cut him off before he could even greet me, my voice seething with anger, Jason what is with the constant gift?," I'm not some damsel in distress, I can take care of myself, your gestures are not only unnecessary but also insulting, so please stop sending me gifts". I shouted angrily.

He remained silent for so long that I wondered if he was still on the line, 'Hello?' 'Hello?' I prompted, my voice rising in a query. Suddenly, his deep voice rumbled through the phone, like a gentle thunder on a summer day, "I'm here, Nina". your father entrusted me with your care, and I won't let him down, Until you are married, stop being childish and overreacting, I'm only doing what's best for you. He abruptly ended the call.

I am utterly consumed by my love for Jason, my every waking thought devoted to who has refused to return my affection, my heart beats solely for him, my soul cries out for his touch and my mind is a maze of longing and despair.

Despite his indifference, I can not help but cling to the hope that one day he will see the depth of my devotion and reciprocate my love, my eyes are sunken from sleepless nights spent pining for him, my skin pale from the weight of unrequited love, my smile is a faint echo of its formal radiance, I am like a shipwrecked sailor, lost at sea, clinging to the splintered remains of love.

As I held onto hope, a text message from my mother flashed on my phone screen, its arrival punctuated by a soft buzz. I smiled, my heart warming at the thought of her reaching out to me on this Christmas morning, I swiped to open the message, my eyes scanning the words as they appeared on the screen. " Merry Christmas sweetie! Hope your day is filled with love, joy, and your favorite things." I smiled as I read it and quickly reached for my phone to dial her, eager to hear her warm and comforting voice, and wished her a merry Christmas too. As the phone rang, I felt a sense of relief wash over me, grateful for the distraction from the whirlwind of emotions that had been swirling in my mind. When she answered, her cheerful"Hey sweetie!" Was like a balm to my soul, we chatted for a bit, catching up on each other's lives and I found myself relaxing into the familiar rhythm of our conversation. For a brief moment, I forgot about the mystery of Jason's package and the flutter in my chest, losing myself in the simple joy of connecting with my mother. I haven't been in communication with my mom ever since she divorced my dad and began a relationship with her new partner. When my dad passed, she came to take me with her, but I refused, I was angry and hurt, and didn't want to leave my dad's memory behind. I didn't want to start a new life with her and her new partner, I would prefer to be under Jason's guardianship than be in the care of the man who callously dismantled our family unit.

" Nina, Fred wants to say hi to you", "Should I pass the phone to him?"

" Sorry Mom, I'm afraid I cannot muster the courtesy to greet him." " My feelings towards him are decidedly unfavorable, and I would rather not have any interaction with him whatsoever." " I hope you understand mom?"

"Nina, I know you have never been fond of Fred, but he wasn't the reason for my split with your dad."

"Then why did you leave Dad for him?" Why did you choose to abandon our family for a man you barely know?" "Why didn't you fight for your relationship with Dad?" I asked with tears streaming down my face, tears shed in sorrow, borne of the anguish and pain I have had to endure, bereft of my mother's loving presence these many years. Especially when I lost my dad.

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry," "I sincerely apologize if my actions have caused you any pain or distress," "I asked that you find it in your heart to forgive me, my child," "I promised, I would come around on new years day and explain everything that happened between me and your dad," she spoke with a tremulous voice, the quaver, audible even through the telephone connection, "this is not a conversation suitable for telephone, I wish to discuss it with you in person." She said. I discerned the depth of her sincerity through the reflection of her voice and knew instinctively that I would have to forgive her, I resolved to await her visit on New Year's Day when she would provide me with a full explanation of the circumstances surrounding her divorce with my dad.

As the call drew to an end, my mind wandered back to the good old days of my childhood, when my parent's relationship had seemed so robust, so perfectly loving, I couldn't help but wonder, in a state of utter bewilderment, what could have possibly gone awry to cause such a profound dissolution of their union.

I resolved to shake off my introspection and prepare myself for my impending social engagement with my friends, Tanya and Amba, I was determined to temporarily set aside my rumination and indulge in a pleasant afternoon in their company since my best friend Elizabeth has been out of town, Tanya and amba have both been kind enough to keep me engaged and preoccupied, ensuring that my spirit remains high. And given the auspicious occasion of Christmas, we decided it's an opportunity to take in festive activities and revel in the spirit of the season.

Following my preparations, I proceeded to Mac-cherry restaurant, a recently established and refined culinary establishment in our vicinity, renowned for its exceptional cuisine. This elegant eatery presented the ideal setting in which to commemorate the Christmas holiday in the company of intimate acquaintances. Upon my arrival at the mac-cherry restaurant, my gaze scanned the room in search of my friends, and I soon spotted Tanya beckoning to me from afar, her waving hand catching my attention amidst the sea of revelers. I joined them at their table, taking a seat alongside them and promptly becoming immersed in their lively conversation.

"Heo, ladies!" I greeted, my salutation accompanied by a warm smile, "hello Nina," they exclaimed in unison, their synthesized salutation speaking a warmth and cordiality that was most endearing.

Tanya's gaze narrowed, her eyes piercing mine as she remarked, "You are thirty minutes late," her tone tinged with a hint of playful reproach. "Yes " I replied, "I was engaged in a protracted telephone conversation with my mom earlier today, it's been eight years since I last spoke to her. "Gracious me!" Tanya uttered, her eyes bulging with incredulity. "Has it truly been that long?" Amba exclaimed. "Yes" I replied, "my parents divorced when I was twelve years old and that was ten years ago, my dad passed of cardiac arrest two years later, although my mom tried to reclaim me at my dad's funeral, I declined her offer, I wanted to remain close to the memories and legacy of my father, so I opted to remain in the guardians of Jason...

"However, let us dispense with the discussion of my personal life for the time being," I said, while gently signaling the waiter. "let's direct our attention to ordering some food, 'cause I am presently feeling quite peckish". The waiter fortuitously appeared at our table, presenting us with the menus, from which we could peruse and select our preferred culinary delights.

My culinary preference was for the gallinaceous dish smothered in curry sauce, served alongside a portion of rice. Meanwhile, my companions, Tanya and Amba, both chose the signified variant of fried rice, accompanied by sliced turkey and beef steak. The waiter's countenance radiating a warm and welcoming smile, informed us that our culinary selections would be prepared and ready for our consumption within a quarter of an hour.

As we awaited the arrival of our cuisine, our conversations seamlessly transitioned to other topics, effortlessly flowing from one subject to the next. In a remarkably brief interval, the waiter reappeared, bearing our repast on a tray, which he expertly balanced with grace and finesse, the olfactory sensation wafting from our dishes was nothing short of sublime, a true culinary delight for the sense. With eager anticipation, we commenced consumption of our meals, savoring the flavors and textures of each dish with great relish, our utensils moving in harmony as we indulged in the culinary delight before us.

Whilst we were still eating, a message from Jason unexpectedly appeared on my phone, interrupting my culinary activity, and diverting my attention from the enjoyment of my repast, as I temporarily set aside my meal to check the content of his sudden communication.