The diary of Lizz

Chapter 01

Eliza Campos

My addiction to drugs began after my parents separated when I was still a teenager. My mother had just discovered a betrayal that had lasted for a long time.

Since the separation, my father had left home and to forget my problems, I started to use drugs.

Everyone expected me to be the pride of my family, but, in fact, I only brought heartbreak and suffering to everyone around me, well, that's what I thought. Other things could have happened if I had told my mother from the beginning when it happened. I know that my mother feels sadness and pity for what I have become.

I am the youngest daughter, I was known as the fantastic girl, that's only because I was a dreamer, who had dreams like any other and never gave up on anything, but since my addiction to drugs, everyone has turned away and even thought of helping me overcome all of this, people who called themselves my friends and would be with me come what may, and that's how you find out who are real. Your family, too bad it took me a long time to recognize that.

It took me a long time to admit that I had become a chemical dependent and that I could not accept in any way depending on other people for help.

I remember to this day when my mother found out that I was addicted to drugs. I had just finished writing my first book, and yes, I did get it published, but of course it didn't work out. At that time I was getting a great visibility in the literary business, but by then I was already addicted.

If I knew that because of this addiction my life would become a real walking catastrophe, it was obvious that I would try to do everything differently; I wanted to be able to make my family proud again. After remembering everything that had happened, I took a deep breath and dried a few tears that started to run down my face.

Because of my addiction, I had become a cold person because I was afraid to show feelings since I had suffered a lot in my life. I don't remember at all the sweet girl from the past, who wanted to become a famous writer, who was always signing in the corner to live a beautiful love story, and to become a mother was also in the plans, but a tragedy made this dream impossible to be realized, after all dreams like this became more and more distant.

I was a young girl who had everything. A loving mother, who unfortunately had recently become a monster, an older brother who was overprotective, and until recently even had a boyfriend, Mathews was his name, and that despite the break-up he still tries to help me overcome my addiction to drugs.

Even today I have a date with him, and he seems to have an offer that I can't refuse, a kind of agreement. I confess that I don't know what to expect. Mathews, unlike me, had already managed to conquer all his dreams.

After I finish getting ready for my meeting with Mathews. I think before finally leaving the house.

"Now I know what can happen to someone who becomes a drug addict, I need to do everything differently from now on if I want to change. My mother and brother will still be very proud of me, and who knows, Manuel might want to get back in touch with our family."

And yes, I refer to my father as Manuel, I had lost the desire to have contact with him after everything that had happened, I know that I have a certain amount of guilt for everything that has happened, but I cannot help it with the anger I feel.

Will I ever be able to forgive my father for everything that happened? I hope that I can get out of this damn drug addiction and that I can still dream again. Show everyone that that beautiful little girl still lives in me.

I was sorry for everything that has been happening in my life. Because of this addiction, I ended up developing anxiety, something that I never imagined I could have, and now it is getting even worse since I put in my head that I want to get rid of this evil. Today I had a terrible night, a nightmare that followed me day after day and seemed to have no end. I ended up not sleeping well, I spent the whole night in the dark.

I ended up not doing anything in the morning because I was anxious about what Mathews could propose to me, I looked at the clock that was on my wrist and realized that it was almost time to meet him, so I finished getting ready and finally left the house. He had scheduled our meeting in a restaurant near my house.

After arriving at the place, I go to the reception and announce my arrival.

- Good afternoon!

- Good afternoon! How can I help you? - The restaurant receptionist asks. I look at the name on her name tag, "Susana".

I smiled at the receptionist and replied.

- Susana, I have a reservation under the name of Mathews.

- Just a moment, I'll check the system here, Susana says, typing on the computer keyboard. "Thank you for waiting, I just saw your reservation here, would you please come with me?

- Susana then gets up from the reception chair to walk me to the table that Mathews had reserved. It was a little isolated from the others, probably because he was concerned about our privacy, since I have always been a very private person.

I sit down on the chair and after a few minutes the waiter comes to serve me.

- Good afternoon! Would you like something to eat or drink? - he asks.

- Good afternoon! At the moment I'll just have a water, please, I'm expecting someone. - I answer his question, smiling politely.

- All right, just a moment and I'll give you your water," he says, leaving the room.

After a few minutes of waiting, the waiter delivers my water, and it's time for Mathews to arrive, he then greets me with a kiss on the cheek and says.

- Did I take too long?

- No, it didn't take long at all, I just ordered some water to drink. Do you want something to eat? - I ask.

- I don't want to eat anything, I'll just have a cup of coffee," he answers and then calls the waiter to bring his order.

My meeting with Mathews was amazing, but he still hadn't told me why he wanted to talk to me, so I decided to ask.

- Matthew, I need to know the reason for our meeting right away. It is not that I am not enjoying it, in fact, I am loving it, I have not had this kind of fun in a long time.

- Gee, if you hadn't warned me, I would have forgotten," he answers, smiling sideways and embarrassed, "So, you still dream of becoming a writer, right?

- Of course I do, this will always be my greatest dream – I answer – You remember that for a while I even managed to conquer it, but I ended up throwing it all away for something stupid.

Mathews, seeing how I was, takes my hands and kisses each of them, a way of calming me down.

- Lizz doesn't have to be like this, you are trying to change, to get out of this addiction, and I am sure you will succeed.

- I know, Math, but you know how hard it's been for me. It's only been two months since I've used anything else, but every day it seems that everything gets worse. I'm afraid I'll relapse, just like the other times I tried to stop using drugs.

Mathews puts his hand on my face and pushes away a little of my hair that insisted on falling in front of my eyes.

- Eliza, you don't know how proud I am of you. That you are managing to overcome yourself," he says now stroking my hair, "and you will manage even more!

- What do you mean? What happened? - I ask, confused by what Mathews could reveal to me.

- Eliza, I managed to get a job interview for you at Monteiro Publishing House., initially you would be a receptionist, but I am sure that with your intelligence you will quickly be promoted.

After this revelation, I take my hands toward my mouth, becoming more and more surprised.

- Mathews, how can you reveal this to me like this? You know that I have always wanted to know Pedro Monteiro's company. How did you get this? - I ask after a few minutes of silence without believing it.

- So, in Mr. Monteiro's company there is an ex-colleague from college, Carla, and once I commented to her about a book I intended to launch, and she asked yesterday if I knew someone who was in need of a job and at the time I remembered you – he answers.

- My friend, I don't even know how to thank you for this help you are giving me. I don't even know if I deserve it," I say, happy and sad at the same time.

I had the impression that I had hurt him too much by not corresponding more to the love he had for me, it wasn't that I didn't feel anything for him at that time, much to the contrary, I just couldn't return that feeling because of this damn addiction. Now, my feelings for him were friends, but I know that Mathews still has feelings for me.

After revealing this, Mathews takes my hands again.

- Eliza knows that whenever you require me, I will be here. I am so happy to see how you are. Happy like this," he says, smiling lovingly at me.

- I know, I'm even happier with your help," I say emotionally, "Now enough crying. How will this job interview go? I need to know the date. I have to prepare myself.

Mathews then lets go of my hands and laughs at what I had said.

- Ok, the interview is scheduled for a week from today. It will be at Monteiro Publishing House and from what Carla told me and Pedro himself will do the interview with you," Mathews reveals.

- But to work as a secretary, would it be for Pedro? - I ask.

- Yes, it would be to work as Pedro's private secretary, making copies of files, scheduling interviews and meetings.

- I don't know what my mother will tell me when she finds out about this job opening, and neither will my brother.

- Lizz, they'll probably love it. You know how sad your mother was about your drug addiction and the way you ended your career," Mathews says.

- Yes, I know," I say, "but I'm trying to change. You know, my mom hasn't been treating me so well lately, I don't even know what she will do when she finds out about the job interview for the Monteiro Company. I never found out why she hates this company so much.

I spend a few more minutes talking with Mathews, and after this wonderful meeting I say goodbye to him and head home.

Will I be able to overcome the addiction? I hope that the job interview really works out.

Chapter 02

Eliza Campos

After leaving the meeting with Mathews, I immediately went to the house, but when I arrived at my destination, I could already see from a distance that my mother and my brother were already there. My mother was probably just here to snoop into my life, since she always did things like that.

As I approached Lucas, I nudged him to make him realize that I had already arrived.

- Lucas, what are you doing here? I told you that you don't have to do this anymore. I'm always cleaning the house whenever I can," I ask Lucas, looking annoyed.

Lucas then turns toward me, smiling happily. We have always had a very close relationship, even closer than me and my mother. Without me expecting any reaction from him, he launches himself toward me and hugs me tightly.

- Lizzie, my sister, how I've missed you," he says, calling me by a nickname he has used since we were children.

- Lucas has already said that I shouldn't be called that anymore. You know I hate this nickname," I say, pulling away from him and trying to contain the smile that wanted to form on my face.

- You know that whenever possible I will call you this way," he says, and then looks suspiciously in my direction.

Lucas had lost some of his confidence in me, but I don't blame him, I had hurt many people since I became addicted to drugs. I don't know if my family believes that I can overcome this addiction.

- I was with Mathews," I answered immediately, and I could see that Lucas seemed relieved with my answer. My brother loves Mathews and knows that he has done the impossible to help me, and even today he is rooting for me to get back together with him.

- Lizz, you really are telling me the truth, aren't you? - Lucas asks again. The way Lucas spoke to me made me anxious. I didn't want to be responsible for all the problems that were happening in our family.

- Lucas, you can relax, don't use drugs if that's what you were thinking," I answer, "Mathews called me because he said he has a job offer for me and that probably between today or tomorrow they will contact me to set up an interview.

After answering, I could see his eyes watering, he probably wasn't expecting this news. Then he approaches me again and surprisingly hugs me tightly as if to make sure that this was no longer a dream, I return the hug without being able to hold back the tears.

Our hug lasted a few more minutes until a certain person interrupted us.

- Guys, did something happen? - my mother asks, probably wondering why we hugged.

After my mother appeared there, I immediately took off the arm I was giving Lucas. I didn't want people to see me having "feelings" for someone. I had closed myself in that cocoon that was mine alone.

- Hi, Mom, nothing happened," he answers and then adds, "It's just that Lizz was giving me some wonderful news.

- May I ask what incredible news this would be, to be enough for you to be hugging each other like this? - My mother asked, from the tone of her voice, as if she couldn't believe that something good could have happened to me. Ever since my drug addiction, she has treated me this way, as if everything I did was a reason to be "wrong," which wasn't really a lie, but even if I tried to do the right thing, that's the way she treated me, to her, I was always the black sheep of the family.

Before I could say anything, Lucas answers in my place.

- Mom, Lizz, said she got a job interview and is just waiting for someone from the company to contact her to set up a day and time.

My mother then looks in my direction.

- I wasn't expecting this, my child," she says as if she doesn't believe what I'm saying, "and where is it to work?

- And before you say anything, it will be yes, this job opening... You can complain as much as you want.

After answering this, my mother takes a deep breath.

- Eliza, there's really no point in my telling you that I don't want you anywhere near that company," she says.

- Mother, explain to me why you don't like it when I mention the name of that company, make me understand that, please.

My mother kept a safe distance from me, until out of nowhere she slowly approaches and points her finger in my face.

- Eliza, I can't have you talking to me like that. You don't need to know everything. I don't want you to go anywhere near that company, and that's final.

Even though I could tell she was furious, I was not shaken by the way she was treating me at that moment. So I just smile debauched and speak with my typical debauchery tone.

- Do you really believe that I will do what you so desire? You don't boss me around anymore, I'm older, and I own my own nose." I take a deep breath before continuing to speak my mind about the whole thing.

- You can get a job anywhere, even become a call-girl. I don't want you going anywhere near that damned company... Be warned – After my mother says this she moves away from me and turns to Lucas – Let's go my dear, it's almost time for Luiz to get home.

Luiz is her new boyfriend.

- Just so you are aware, I am waiting to hear from the company today, the interview will probably take place as soon as possible – I add and then my mother leaves with a frown on her face with my brother by her side, probably embarrassed by the way she treated me.

After this clarifying dialogue with her, I said goodbye to my brother and went home, since I could no longer stand being near that woman who I still insist on referring to as my mother. After getting bored with all of this, I throw myself on my small sofa and try to remember when she started treating me this way, I believe it was even before I got addicted to drugs. She probably blames me for this crisis in her marriage, they were already separating, and my problem was just the last straw.

When I least realize it, my eyes are full of tears which I quickly wipe away, I don't like to show my feelings anymore, but it was something I couldn't avoid, after all, I am a human being. I wish I could change my life soon so that everyone could be proud of me again, and thinking about these things I fall asleep, and a miracle happens, I finally manage to sleep without insomnia. Was it a warning that something magical might happen?

Chapter 03

Pedro Monteiro

I woke up with the awakening of my cell phone, the sun was already coming through the window, causing a strong luminosity against my eyes. Then I wake up and feel my eyes burning, I blink my eyes slowly for a few minutes until I get used to that brightness.

I squinted slowly, but I didn't want to wake up Heloise, my fiancée, we ended up sleeping late last night after a senseless argument, because she believed I was hitting on one of the newest writers in the company, just for greeting the young woman with a kiss on the hand.

Her face was resting on my shoulder, almost on my bicep, but I managed to move successfully without waking her. After successfully getting out of bed, I proceed to the bathroom where I perform my necessary personal hygiene and return to my room where I see that Heloise was still sleeping.

As soon as I am in front of the closet, I look at my clothes for a few moments and choose to wear a black suit, dark pants and shoes in the same color.

Even because being the owner of a company in Brazil is not easy, even more so for a book publisher where books are not valued, even more if they are national. Thinking about this, I bought my father-in-law's company, and transformed it into "Monteiro Publishing House". Unfortunately, my father-in-law's finances were not doing so well and his company was getting worse, and now that he had become engaged to Heloise, everything drastically worsened.

Thinking about helping him, I bought his company and turned it into the largest publishing house in Brazil, which aims to publish books by independent writers; most of my competitors only aim for success, so they decide to publish only works by well-known people.

As soon as I finish my coffee, I head for the elevator of the condominium where I live and thank God for not finding anyone who could bother me, the neighbors will probably still complain about that mess that had occurred, Heloise could be quite scandalous when she wanted.

When I arrive at my destination, I press the elevator button, and the elevator doesn't take long to arrive, so I put on my sunglasses and get in. I press the button again so that it can go down to the first floor, where the condominium garage is located. I get close to the car, and immediately get into it, starting it, I don't want to take too long to get to work and be late for interviews, even though they are not many, I like to dedicate myself to the maximum to each one of them, and since I was the CEO of the company, I had a reputation to uphold.

Not only that, but I drive for a few moments and I confess that I find it strange that the traffic is not as bad as it always is, maybe the universe is helping me and because of this I manage to arrive quickly at the company and I notice that there were already some people in the company waiting for the interview time.

Among those small people, only one had called my attention, a redhead with medium hair and beautiful green eyes, however, as I did not want to be late, I quickly follow inside the company and as soon as my employees realized that I had just arrived, Carla soon approaches me.

- Mr. Monteiro, how nice that you have arrived. The interviews are about to begin. Let's go straight to the room – Carla reminds me of the interviews.

- Sure, let's go – I say.

Soon we headed to the room where the meetings would be held, all the other interviewers were already there.

- People, we will start the meeting soon – I say, and then everyone sits at their respective tables.

After telling Carla, the interview people started to come in. My world seemed to have stopped again, I could not see anything else in front of me when I saw that same girl from the entrance was entering the meeting room. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my entire life. She had huge green eyes, medium hair, a plump mouth and an angelic smile. I know I have a fiancée, but Heloise had been promised to me as a form of "payment", I can't lie and say that I never felt anything for Helô, but as time went by our relationship was wearing thin. Heloise had changed, becoming a shallow and difficult person to live with, and nothing reminded her of the sweet young woman I had fallen in love with.

I felt I needed to find out this young woman's name soon, I knew that my life would change drastically. She seemed to hear my thoughts as she looked in my direction, and from afar I could smell her sweet perfume, which made me want to wrap myself in her beautiful red hair.

That girl had really awakened things in me that I never imagined I would feel again, and later I found out her name was Eliza Campos, but these feelings that had been unknown to me for the last few years. I had only pondered them with Heloise, but our relationship was no longer the same.

After the interviews are over, I ask Carla to pass me all the resumes, so I can analyze them with more caution, it would be nothing new if I hired Eliza to compose my staff, since I had been impressed with her above average intelligence.

Once I got my hands on the resume of the mysterious redhead, I confess that I was even more impressed. After reading her full name, I remembered that I had seen it somewhere before. She is a promising young woman in her writing career, which makes me want to find out more about this mysterious redhead.

What also makes me wonder why she didn't follow this line of work to become my personal secretary, I seemed anesthetized with all that, so after analyzing all the resumes, I asked Carla to call Eliza, I wanted to talk to her, I know I can't mix my personal feelings with the professional ones.

After a few minutes of waiting, I hear someone knocking on my door.

- You may enter – I answer.

The person then enters, and I notice that it is exactly Eliza.

- Good afternoon! Mr. Monteiro – She says, looking away, I was looking intensely at that wonderful redhead, I believe she must have realized how much she had moved me. Eliza then extends her hand in my direction.

- Good afternoon! Eliza – I returned the length to her, holding her hand with a certain strength, so she could realize what she had done to me – Please, sit down – I pointed in the direction of the chair near my desk.

- Thank you – She thanked me, smiling shyly, and sat down in the chair I had shown her earlier – Would you like anything?

- You can rest assured that nothing serious has happened," I answer, noticing that Eliza had become distressed at being called into my office, "I just wanted to ask you a few things. I just wanted to ask you a few questions.

I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, nor should I get involved in this way with an employee, even more so when I am engaged to another woman, but it was something I could not avoid at all.

- I could see her taking a deep breath before answering my question.

- I looked deeper into your resume and realized here that you were a successful writer, but that you stopped your career. Not that this means that this profession is not worthy, but, it is nothing that I can't help but question – I add.

- I ended up leaving aside this dream of becoming a famous writer only because of my family – She answers – Besides the fact that I have been away from this field for a long time. Now it is very complicated to get back into it. I believe I was too young, now I feel more centered and mature.

I smiled content with her answer, it was genuine my happiness for Eliza, I could really see that she loved being a writer, but that she decided to grow up and come back when she was more centered, this just shows that she was a professional person.

- I get it. I was really impressed with your works, it was only after reading your full name that I could remember something – I say – My goddaughter introduced me to your books.

I was extremely pleased to see that the person who is trying to get the job as secretary is someone I was already somewhat familiar with.

- That's nice, but how old is she? - Eliza asks.

- Fernanda is very mature for her age, of course I know what her books are about.

- Isn't she too young to read this style of books? - She asks, still speechless, "Since they are about overcoming stories.

- I confess that at the time I tried to make her stop reading these stories, which, in my opinion, are subjects a little heavy for a child – I say, quoting the word heavy – But I decided to read them to get to know them and I can confess that I loved the way you write.

- I am very happy that you liked it. I loved my work, although it's been a while since I wrote anything – She speaks smiling, which made me want to reciprocate.

- No need to thank me, that's why you and two other people were hired, I need committed employees. Do you want to be part of our team? - I ask.

- Of course I accept – she answers – I require a job to improve the things I know how to do and to improve my life.

After Eliza answered this, I felt like asking her why she wanted to change her life, but it was not my right to ask about it.

- I understand, you can go back to the waiting room – I answer – Carla will call you later to talk about the service schedule. I hope you make the most of this opportunity and who knows, maybe you'll be able to publish a book in our publishing house.

I can't explain what would happen next. Not only that, but I approached Eliza slowly and felt a shiver run through my body, that perfume was driving me crazy. I wanted to see more of her, and I would certainly make it happen.

I could see that Eliza seemed disconcerted by my presence, but before I could do anything, Carla entered my room with some papers in her hands.

- Mr. Monteiro, I'm sorry. Am I interrupting something? - Carla asks.

I come out of the trance in which I find myself, disassociating myself from Eliza and answer.

- No, you didn't interrupt anything, I'm just talking to Eliza about the job opening – I was trying to disguise my frustration, however, I know that if she hadn't shown up something might have happened that I would regret bitterly.

Eliza then turns toward me and speaks.

- Mr. Monteiro, I appreciate the job opportunity, but now I have to go," she says, smiling shyly.

Before I can say anything, Carla speaks in my place.

- Eliza comes with me, I'll give you all the job schedules, as Mr. Monteiro urgently needs a personal secretary, you'll start tomorrow. Is that alright? - Carla asks Eliza, handing me some documents that required my signature.

I had never really felt this way about anyone in my entire life and I have always been a womanizer, but when I had to help with the finances at home I needed to change, grow up, and become a man.

When Elisa says goodbye to me again and leaves the room talking to Carla, she leaves a trace of her perfume that impregnates my entire office, making me feel a strange shiver running through my entire body. Making me want to smell her perfume straight from the source, from her beautiful neck. That wonderful redhead didn't even have a notion of what she had done to me, awakened different feelings in me. Would it be reciprocal?