The Unwanted Luna

I have always believed in mates growing up seeing all the love around me including that of my parents made me believe that mates were the it thing.

That no one could love you as much as your mate would, because he or she was the other half of your soul.

Having a mate is a wonderful thing as I believed, that they were your other half, the ones who understand you better than anyone else, that you connect with them on another level.

A connection that cannot be compared to anything or any other connection you will ever have, even that of your parents.

The bond that ties mates is strong, specially made by the moon goddess herself and therefore sacred.

It ties two people for life in a bubble of love, companionship, comfort and security. I believed in all that and I could not wait to get my person, my mate, the one meant for only me.

I would always daydream about meeting him and connecting with him, always dreaming of where I would meet him and how it would be like staring into his eyes for the first time, feeling the sparks and watching as the bond clicked into place sealing us as one.

I imagined that my mate would fall over heads in love with me at first sight and we would go ahead and live in happiness and love, using that same love to bring beautiful children into the world.

When I became older and started understanding sex, I imagined how our mating ceremony would be like and what being mated would also be like.

I knew it would hurt the first time but I filled my head with rosy imaginations of how it would be, I believed that it would be okay because he would be right there with me, taking me gently and we would make love the whole night.

I thought about how it would feel when he marked me while being buried deep inside me, mating me.

All these things were just a fairytale a young naïve girl imagined and hoped for.

What I did not count on was my mate not wanting me, my mate being in love with someone else, someone who was not me. What I did not count on was him hating my guts and wanting nothing to do with me.

I did not count on his wolf taking over when he was about to reject me, marking me against his human's wishes and mating me on the same night.

I was not prepared for how angry and bitter he would be, accusing me of seducing his wolf into marking me against his wishes which I honestly did not do.

I didn't do it on purpose like he suggested, I had no control over his wolf whatsoever so how was I to blame? but most of all I wasn't prepared for the pain that would follow that night.

He had said that he hated me and wished that I hadn't been born that way he wouldn't have been cursed into having me as a mate.

It tore to pieces that he would say that to me, that he would hate me to the point of wishing I hadn't been born.

Do you know how painful it is to hear your soulmate tell you that? To know that he curses your existence in this world.. it broke me but I didn't want to give up hope that he would come to love me.

He had sworn to reverse the mating by rejecting me on the next full moon because that was the only time it could be done but once again life threw me a curve ball.

Something I saw as a chance to prove my worth to him, to make him fall in love with me and maybe, just maybe I would get the happy ever I've always wanted.

He wanted to reject me and take back the mating but we didn't count on me getting pregnant. Once again he accused me of planning on getting pregnant to trap him.

I was a virgin when he mated me, to be precise his wolf mated me not him, but how could I have planned any of it?

I wasn't having sex, always planning to wait for my mate. I wasn't on any of our species special pills to prevent pregnancy and of course I didn't know he wouldn't want me. So how could I have planned on getting pregnant beforehand?

But none of my explanations were anything to him because no matter what I tried or did he never believed me. It even seemed like his hatred for me intensified and as it did so did my hurt and pain.

All I wanted was for someone to call my own. To have a mate who cherished me, loved me, who looked forward to spending the rest of his life with me. All I got was one who's hatred for me burned hotter than the sun.

Given I was pregnant he couldn't reject me since the pain was likely to cause me to have a miscarriage. As much as he hated me he couldn't do that to an innocent soul, his own flesh and blood.

I believed that no one could be that heartless, not even him despite his feelings towards me.

Werewolves protected their cubs no matter what may come and no matter the situation. Our wolves were even more protective of their young so I knew I was safe for the time being.

I loved him with all my heart.

From the moment I had learned he was my mate but sometimes I feel like the deities must hate me.

Especially Selene for she gave me a reluctant mate. I am filled with all this pain and hurt and I do not know what to do with it.

Every day, every hour, every minute and every second, I yearn for him, crave him but he doesn't want me, he wants someone else instead.

The only one keeping me moving is my little angel. He or she keeps me grounded, keeps me from ending it all.

From seeking a permanent solution that would eventually give me the peace that I have been craving, because how can I live in this life when my mate doesn't want me.

Watching my mate give the love meant for me to somebody else, make a family with another woman while I stand in the sidelines unwanted?

My name is Amelia Solace and this is my story.

I stare outside the window watching my mate while he trains the new enforcers. This is how it has been since the night his wolf mated me.

He doesn't allow me to be near him, not being able to keep his disgust for me so this is the only way I can look at him. He is serious as he throws instructions here and there but you can also see clearly that he is proud.

His hands folded around his chest while his legs are at a stance, he looks formidable but at the same time handsome and dashing with his jet black hair, and grey eyes that always seem to penetrate your soul.

He has a square jaw fit for a model. He has the perfect set of white teeth and kissable lips that make you imagine the dirty things he can do with them.

He also the most beautiful smile I have ever seen though it is usually not directed at me. He is a real life, breathing Adonis on earth.

The serious look can't take away his handsomeness nor can it take away the obvious patience and affection he has towards his enforcers.

Xavier really isn't a bad person, yes he is arrogant and bossy and possessive and hard sometimes but he is also loyal to the ones he loves, and his love is fierce and strong, the only problem is that none of those good traits have ever been directed towards me.

What I get from him is hatred, irritation and hardness. Looking at us you wouldn't even believe that we are fated mates, or that I am expecting his child.

I am about five months pregnant and unlike what most people commonly believe, werewolves pregnancy last nine months just like humans, and not the four months cringe worthy novels usually write about.

To say I am excited to be a mother and meet my baby would be the biggest understatement, because I am dying to meet him, he is the only one that I know would love me because nobody else does.

Xavier doesn't know what we are having but I know he doesn't even care. He never talks to me and he has never bothered to ask about the baby.

While other pregnant she-wolves have supportive mates there with them during the appointments I have no one since he doesn't bother showing up even after I have left him notes telling him of my doctor's appointment.

All I can hope is that even if he hates me, he won't hate our son, but it doesn't matter because I will love him with all my being and even if his father doesn't want to, I still will do.

I leave my room and go down stairs planning to go to the forest for a walk. I read that it's good for the baby and since I can't shift and run or hunt, walking is the only option.

In my hurry I don't look where I am going so I bump into someone I go to apologize only to find the former Luna looking at with nothing but disgust and annoyance.

Did I forget to mention that I am hated in this pack, not only for what happened in the past but also for forcing their beloved alpha into a mating he did not want by getting myself pregnant? But most especially hated by his family.

"If it weren't for the fact that you are carrying my grandchild I would have ripped out your black heart and fed it to the rogues" you can clearly hear the venom and hate dripping from her voice.

I hang my head and mumble a sorry because what is there else to say. I came to realize a long time ago that you cannot change the opinions of others about you and haven't I been living with their hate since I was ten years old? So it isn't that new to me anymore.

"Gods, you are pathetic, I wonder what the moon goddess saw in you in order to pair you with my son, and you are nothing but a low life murderer who shouldn't have existed in the first place because all you do is make us miserable especially my son. My only prayer is that my grandchild won't inherit any of your disgusting personality or character"

"That was uncalled for, you can speak whatever you want about me but leave my baby alone" I murmured, hurt that she would say what she just did.

"Your baby? can you hear yourself? you wouldn't even have a baby if you had not shameless seduced Xavier's wolf" she pulls back her lips in a snarl making me take a step back.

If it wasn't for the fact that I was carrying her grandchild, I was sure she would have throttled me.

"I didn't seduce anyone...least of all Ace...he is a powerful wolf, so how could a wolfless insignificant person like me be able to seduce hime?" I ask her, because it was the damn truth, I never seduced him.

"How would I know the techniques a slut like you used? because that's what you are...a disgusting, shameless slut"

with that she leaves me standing at the foyer with tears swimming in my eyes refusing to fall down.

I was used to the ugly words but that doesn't mean that they still don't hurt me, that they don't break a part of me on the inside, because they do, they break me into a million pieces each and every fucking time.

I should have left the pack years ago but I had nowhere else to go so I stayed instead, with hopes that things would get better in time but they never did, they actually got worse the older I became.

I rush outside and hurry to the forest because the last thing I need is people seeing me crying because it would just lead to more mockery pain. When I do finally reach my destination I let the tears fall.

The pain tears through me like an avalanche and I can't seem to control it. I fall on my knees and just cry letting the tears fall freely.

There was no cure for what was happening to me, no way to numb it so I just had to pull through.

I walk through the forest, towards a cliff that overlooks a waterfall and just stand there. I contemplate jumping and just ending it all including my baby, because my greatest fear is him growing up being hated and despised because of me, not only by his own father but also by the pack.

I don't want him to live the way I did. I can hear my wolf being against the idea of us ending our lives in addition to that of our baby but I am beginning to get tired of everything.

But then again, wouldn't doing that make me into the selfish bitch they claim I am?

And how can I end the life of a baby I already love so much, more than anything else in this world? I couldn't do that and so I stepped away from the edge and turned around to go back into the forest.

Taking my time because I am not dying to go back to a place everyone loathes me and wishes me nothing but death and torture in the pits of hell.

The sun was starting to set but I wasn't bothered by it, why would I when I was within the pack borders.

Our pack was the largest and strongest pack with Xavier not only being one of the youngest alphas but also the most powerful and given that our enforcers being trained by Xavier himself and were deadly, no one dared to attack the pack.

But for some reason I was starting to get an uneasy feeling, the hairs at the back of my neck rose and so did my wolf's hackles. I felt as if I was being watched, monitored and not in the sense of enforcers, this was something else, something more deadly, something sinister.

I turned around in circles trying to see if I could pinpoint the source but I saw and heard nothing.

Getting nothing after some time, I chalk it up to paranoia and just continue towards the pack house but this time in a hurry because I still felt a bit uneasy and that is definitely not a feeling a pregnant woman should be experiencing.

I heave a sigh of relief when I get to the pack house and like always I use the back door to get into the house. I try to avoid the rest of the pack because like I said I don't want to experience their hateful glances.

I enter the house and go straight to my bedroom. I was the luna of the pack and so I should have been sharing the alpha's bedroom in the alpha section but that wasn't the case.

I was in furthest and the most secluded room in the pack house because according to Xavier, h didn't want to see my disgusting face every morning when he woke.

It hurt at first but I soon made it my sanctuary a place I could feel safe and secure. I take a shower to wash off the dirt and then after putting my clothes on I head to the kitchen for something to eat.

When I enter the kitchen I stop dead at the entrance, frozen to the roots because standing there kissing another woman is Xavier. I want to take off my eyes from them but I can't.

He holds her so gently like she is porcelain, precious and breakable. I hear the woman moan at the same time Xavier releases a groan, a groan of pure pleasure and ecstasy, as if he was thirsty and the woman in his arms was his first pure drink, his salvation.

As if they sense me, they reluctantly release each other and turn towards me, Xavier's portraying his annoyance at being interrupted.

I turn to look at the woman and if I thought that my heart broke at seeing Xavier kissing another woman well I would be wrong because the pain I feel right now is way worse, it's the worst.

I can feel my heart shattering, and bleeding on the floor while they look at me with no regret at all because the woman in his hands is none other than my long lost sister, Bianca Solace. Could my life get anymore fucked up?

I clutch at my chest because I can feel the physical pain at realizing that my mate is in love with my younger sister.

Do the gods really hate me this much? Does Selene despise me so much that she would do this to me? Take the love of my mate and give it to my sister, a sister I haven't seen since I was ten and she was nine.

It has been ten years but I would recognize her eyes anyway. Eyes that I used to love, eyes that adored me but now they are filled with nothing but pure loathing.

I try to breathe through the pain but it is of no use, the tears fall and I don't even want to stop, what for when I don't have the power to. I stand before the man who has the capability to bring down to my knees and destroy and in his eyes I see nothing.

No regret and no shame at all for what he is doing to me, he simply does not care, he only wants her and his mate doesn't matter. Sometimes I wonder what will happen when Bianca's mate comes along, will she reject him like Xavier did with me? Or will she leave Xavier for him.

But seeing how they are now I am double sure that she will reject her mate in favor of Xavier and god do I feel sorry for the poor soul. They have no idea the pain that is awaiting them.

Not being able to stand the sight of them in each other's arms, I turn and leave not even seeing anything or anyone. It hurts and I have no idea how to turn it off, how to bury it so that I don't have to feel it.

I don't know how to numb it. Until that moment I had never seen his chosen and neither had the pack, so it was easy to pretend that she doesn't exist, she doesn't stand in the way of my happiness.

It was easy to think that Xavier does not love her as much but here she was, and it was no longer easy pretending that Xavier doesn't love her because I could see it clearly in his eyes that he did and to make it even worse, it was my sister.

How was I supposed to live with that?

As I pass the living room I can hear the occupants mocking me, laughing at me and it pains me even more that they would find it funny that I am in pain.

Haven't they ever heard the saying don't kick a dog when it is already down? Someone intercepts me but I refuse to look up not wanting them to see my tears.

They forcefully grab my chin and force me to look up and it's none other than Raya, my number one tormentor.

"What? The little freak can't stand to see her mate in someone else's arms? Does it hurt? Do you want me to kiss your boo boo and make it all go away?" She taunts me, making everyone else laugh.

"Please Raya, just let me go.. I am begging you" my voice comes out small, so full of pain that I can hear how pathetic I sound even to my own ears.

"This is what you deserve you pathetic bitch, I am so glad the alpha never accepted you. You deserve to suffer for all you have done, in fact this is mercy because you deserve death for what you did" she tells me then releases me with so much force that I fall to the hardwood floor.

She spits on me while the rest snicker and agree with her.

Once they leave, I get up slowly mindful of my pregnant belly, then leave the house.

I have no idea where I am going but I know I need to get out of there. While walking I think of the past, how Bianca used to adore me. We were inseparable back then, only one year apart we were the best of friends.

Everywhere I went you would find Bianca there with me. She never left my side, always following me around like a puppy. I was her hero back then and she worshipped me as her older sister.

I became her hero when I saved her from a bee when she was five and I was six and since then we were joint at the hip.

We could always count on each other no matter what and she knew that I would always be there for her.

But that all changed when I was ten. I can still remember everything so clearly like it happened just yesterday.

Bianca was at one of her friend's house so it was just me and my parents. I wasn't feeling well but at around noon, I got this sudden urge to go to the forest and so being a curious ten year old I did.

I didn't know where I was going but the feeling just stuck with me, like I was called from within to be in the forest.

After wondering for a while I gave up and decided to go home and that's when I saw it, a shadowy figure, it had no form or clothes, just a black shadow but I could tell it was intelligent.

The red eyes shining through it told me all I needed to know.

I was fascinated by it and I wanted to touch it but just as I was about to I heard a twig snap. I turned around and found I was no longer alone, wolves surrounded me but something was wrong with them, they were not the normal wolves I knew and they were also not the rogues we had been taught.

They looked like they had gotten stuck mid shift. Not quite a man and quite a beast, they were disfigured and their eyes were all black, their skin was really ashy and they had black veins all over their bodies with form dripping down their mouths.

They terrified me and when one of them lunged at me with its claws slashing my neck open I screamed. I remember falling to the ground, feeling the blood drain from my body.

I was so cold and within minutes everything faded away. When I woke up I was surrounded by the pack still in the forest.

I miraculously stood up which shocked the hell out me only to find my parents laying on the ground torn into pieces with the pack accusing me of killing them.

I didn't understand why they would think that, I tried to explain it to them, tell them of the creatures I saw but they thought I had made it up.

I was drenched in my parent's blood, there was no other scent apart from mine and my parents and there was not even a scratch on my neck that suggested I had been wounded.

It was like all the evidence had been erased and so the only culprit left was me and thus I was termed as the ten year old killer who murdered her own parents in cold blood.

I was stripped of my position as a beta's daughter and demoted lower than even an omega, they couldn't kill me since I was a child and it was against the law but I always wished that they did.

My parents were simply the best anyone could ever ask for and they were loved by the pack so I became the enemy for killing them. I never killed them but I also don't know what happened after I lost consciousness and how my wound healed so quickly.

When Bianca was told that our parents were dead and that I was the one who killed them, I became the villain instead of the hero, she hated me so much that she moved to live with an uncle in another state without ever looking back.

The punishments and torture begin after that. I had questions I couldn't answer, like what happened that day, did I honestly kill my parents and then imagined something that wasn't real?

What was the shadowy form and what was it doing there but most importantly what were those creatures and where did they come from?

I shake my head trying to clear away the painful memories, would my life have been different if I had been proven innocent? Would Xavier have accepted me or would he still have chosen Bianca?

All these questions are swarming in my head making me cry even more thinking of the fact that things might have been different.

'He doesn't want you'

I hear voices hiss which scares the crap out of me making me jump, it's like a thousand voices hissing at the same time.

'He wants your sister'

'He will never want you, you disgust him'

'You're nothing to him'

'You're just a pathetic unwanted mate'

'You will never be worthy of him'

The voices keep taunting growing louder and louder, I try covering my ears with my hand but I still hear them.

"Stop it!" I shout turning around in circles trying to find where the voices are coming from and come face to face with red glowing orbs.

Even in the darkness I can still tell it is the same shadowy form because it's thicker than the darkness around me. Scared, I turn around and run forgetting that I am pregnant.

I burst through the kitchen only to find Xavier and Bianca still there cooking a meal while they hold each other's hands.

I don't know what came over me, maybe it's the adrenaline, or maybe it's because I was scared out of mind at seeing something I never thought I would ever see again or maybe it's just pure jealousy.

In that moment I lose control, fangs and claws come out and I dive at Bianca intending to attack her but before I can reach her, Xavier probably sensing what I was going to do painfully pins me to the wall choking me, his elongated nails piercing the skin around my neck, I can feel the trickle of blood running down neck, I try to say something, anything but I can't.

I can see black dots dancing around my vision making me aware that I am about to lose consciousness. I try scratching at the hand around my neck but it's of no use since everything around me fades and soon I am at peace.