The Thought of You

JOANA'S POV

"Joana!" my elder sister, Becky, shouted from downstairs. I was up in my bedroom reading some magazine I had found on the couch downstairs.

I didn't have the power to answer because it was obviously one of her tantrums. It was always the torture Joana game in this house.

"Joana Emily Arnold!" she shouted. She was probably trudging upstairs now. My family members calling me by my full name meant fire. I had asked for it anyway but was it really necessary to answer a scolding call?

In two minutes my door burst open revealing Becky. She glared at me with her you-have-not-seen-the-last-of-me eye.

"I've been calling you for ages yet you've been here all along pretending you couldn't hear me, Joana and what on earth are you doing with my magazine. I thought I warned you not to touch my things without my permission," she hissed snatching the magazine away from me leaving marks on my hand with her long expensive nails.

As if the drama wasn't enough, my mother, Isabelle Arnold, made her entry with her other son aka Becky's twin brother, Tony, right behind her. Save me, Lord.

"Can we ever get peace in this house? What's the ruckus about now?" Mom asked.

I remained silent looking at them. I didn't want any trouble.

"I think it's high time you got rid of Joana, Mother. I just can't stand her anymore. You have to take action," Becky flared folding her arms.

"Joana, what have you done this time?" Mom asked shooting me daggers.

Of course, in terms of picking sides, my mom always favored her eldest two.

"Does it always have to be my fault or something I did Mom?" I said softly looking straight into her eyes.

If someone was to come up with a theory that she wasn't my biological mother and they weren't my biological siblings I'd believe them without a second thought.

"Show some respect to your mother, Joana," Tony warned typing something on his phone. He was just like the rest.

"Does she ever respect me? It's like she has two children and I'm just a nobody in this house."

"Yes, that's what you are! You thought you were some princess? You disgust me. You resemble nothing Arnold worthy. You are a disgrace to our family," Becky spat at me venomously.

It hurt. It hurt a lot. Yes, I knew that was the case but they didn't have to rub it in my face. My eyes had already welled up tears threatening to spill.

"Why? What did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve all this hatred from you?"

My eyes were filled to the brim with tears but it didn't faze them even one bit.

"Dad died because of you, Joana. It was purely your fault. I just wish it had been you who died in that accident not him. We will never forgive you for snatching away the best man from this planet," Tony spat at me.

If I had been close to him he'd have slapped me hard.

"How was I supposed to know we'd crash that day?" I defended myself.

"You were stubborn to go out, Joana. Your childish tantrums cost me my husband, Joana."

"But..."

"Has anyone ever told you how irritating your voice is? Your voice is so low and scratching. Maybe you should try and speak less because I'm sure no one would be interested in hearing your voice," Becky advised and walked out without waiting for my reply.

Mom and Tony followed suit banging the door.

I felt an inexplicable lump lodge in my throat. I fell into a disheveled heap on the floor and my tears involuntarily spilled down my cheeks.

I was bleeding inwardly. Maybe they were right. Maybe it was my fault but I'd never hurt my best friend and superman on this entire planet.

Victor Arnold was my everything. I remembered his death every day as if it were yesterday. Everything had happened so fast that I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye or try to save him.

He saved me but couldn't save himself. The guilt I felt was intense.

Before his death everything was perfect. We were the perfect family. I was a daddy's girl and everyone's favorite. I used to smile too, laugh, and be the life of the party.

His death was a wind of change. I lost everything that day. I lost my family, my inner self, hope itself, and my voice too.

I couldn't raise my voice anymore because when the car burst into flames I screamed so loud that I damaged myself. I didn't have the confidence to do so anyway.

Sometimes I wished I had died in his place. We couldn't live without each other. I was dying from the inside.

It had already been five years now and I still missed him every day.

I wiped away my tears and hugged my trembling knees reminiscing on all the memories.

If only I could turn back time.

Becky and Tony were twenty-six-year-olds, Lisa being a top model with beauty and brains. She had everything a lady needed. She was currently the top paid model in the state.

Tony had taken over the company. He was the new CEO. He was very popular, successful, and drop-dead gorgeous. He was popular among ladies especially models of the same class and businesswomen.

Isabella Arnold, my mom, was a board member at the company and she ran a successful boutique in town. She was filthy rich and it was all purely from hard work. She had the typical Arnold looks and appeared younger than her age.

Then me. Joana Emily Arnold. Call me the black sheep. The unpopular one. At the age of twenty-five, I had nothing and sadly no one. I was educated but had to find myself a job. I never went out in public to avoid embarrassing my picture-perfect family.

I took a deep breath and got up. For five years I had been waiting for that light at the end of the tunnel. Where was it?

Three hours later around two in the afternoon Becky burst into my bedroom a bright smile plastered on her gorgeous face.

Awkward. She was holding a big box which she put down and rushed over to embrace me. She hugged me so tight that I almost thought my Becky was back but a thought struck my mind. She was Becky Arnold. A package full of surprises.

"Guess what Emily?" she exclaimed excitedly.

They all used to call me Emily when my dad was alive. This was a first in five years.

"What?" I tried to sound excited.

"Guess who's getting married tonight?" she exclaimed thrilled.

My eyes lit up for the first time in years. I held her back in excitement.

"What?! No way. You are getting married? I didn't know you were in a serious relationship."

Seriously I didn't know. She was my sister. I had to be thrilled for her despite everything. I always wished the best for her.

"Oh please! Do you always have to be so stupid. I'd never get married now," she said rolling her eyes.

"So who's getting married?"

Seriously who would Lisa be so thrilled for? One of her friends? How would that concern me though?

"You silly. Tonight you'll finally be out of our lives. No offense honey."

Me? My smile dropped and I felt my heart sink. But I wasn't seeing anyone. I looked puzzled.

"Don't give me that face. Get ready for the ceremony. It's a small and simple thing but the reception soon will be grand. Everything a bride needs is in that box. At 5 pm sharp Tony will come and get you. If you need my help I'm more than available."

"I don't understand."

"Of course, you wouldn't understand. You are getting married to famous heartthrob and billionaire Malcolm Fred. You'd be living under a rock to not know him. You are so lucky, honey. Finally, you get the spotlight."

"I'm still lost."

For the record, she was patient with me but she was beginning to lose it.

"It's an arranged marriage. A one-year contract between the Arnolds and the Malcolms. You are the bride. You guys ain't engaged of course but to the world, you guys have been engaged for three months and now you'll tie the knot. So basically it was a secret affair. It's a contract for business stuff you wouldn't understand."

Becky explained the situation. Of course, to her, I had no idea how anything worked except being useless. I swallowed hard.

"I won't get married to a stranger. I have the right to choose my partner," I told her trying my best to appear confident and unwavering.

Becky scoffed and scanned my body.

"As if anyone would want to be chosen by you. There is no discussion on this one. Don't waste our time."

"I won't get married," I spoke firmly balling my fists.

I was tired of being controlled.

Out of the blue, I felt a hard sting on my cheek. It stung so much I had to put my hand on it.

Becky had given me a resounding slap. One of her best. She left a red welt behind and her ring had cut me just below my eye. I was bleeding.

"Anything more to say?" she inquired looking sharply at me.

I shook my head no. She'd murder me if I said anything more.

"Perfect. Suit yourself," she replied and left swinging her fancy ponytail.

I felt a warm liquid run down my nose and I wiped using my hand. I was bleeding. I quickly went to the bathroom and cleaned up myself.

Fifteen minutes later I was on my bed scanning my gown. It was gorgeous but I didn't want to be in it. Why me?

Who was this Fred person? So I was like living under a rock because I like knew nothing about him. I pretty much knew no one.

I quickly took out my laptop and looked him up on Google.

There were multiple articles about him and the recent trending one about his secret engagement.

I didn't have time for all that nonsense right now. I had to see his face at least so I rushed to images and there was an entire gallery of him.

Okay, so I was speechless. My heart instantly skipped a beat. An alien color invaded my cheeks and I felt a smile form on my lips.

I never believed in the love at first sight drama but this masterpiece I was looking at had made me feel stuff I had never felt before. How could he be so perfect?

I read about three articles on him and I was convinced he had quite a good reputation with ladies in terms of respect.

So this Fred guy was going to be my better half? The thought itself made me feel unexplainable stuff.

Was it a good thing that I was suddenly thrilled to get married?

My instincts quickly told me to put effort into my looks immediately. I had to impress him. My first impression had to be perfect.

One year my foot. I'd make sure it worked by hook or crook.

Finally light at the end of the tunnel. Finally, my prince charming was here.

Yes, I was excited but that nagging thought bugged me.

Would the hot billionaire accept a socially awkward bag of embarrassment like me?

FRED'S POV

"You are kidding me right Dad?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

This was obviously some sick joke he was playing on me. No need to get worked up.

Dad took the newspaper from my hands and read the headline on the front page. A smile immediately formed on his gracefully aging face. He looked somewhat satisfied.

"Well at least the media did everything right this time around," he commented before tossing it away on his desk.

My dad then leaned against his desk and put all his focus on me. I was fuming. He motioned for me to sit down and I did so reluctantly. I just needed a simple and straightforward explanation but my dad seemed to have a different plan.

"Fred my son, you have to get married," he spoke softly in his convincing voice.

I raked my hair with my hand trying my best to look calm. I failed terribly at it. I lowered my tie and unbuttoned the neck button. I poured myself a glass of water and gulped it down then looked straight into his eyes.

"What on earth is this drama? Have you finally decided to ruin my life Dad?"

"I'd never ruin your life on purpose son. Trust me when I say this was harder for me than you can ever imagine."

"You look damn proud of yourself and pretty calm about this whole nonsense Dad!"

"This has to happen. Both companies need each other for the future success of the companies. For this to happen there has to be some sort of strong connection plus in the past this has been a tradition of collaborating in projects and lending a hand. Our company will get shares in their successful business and so will their company," he explained swinging a pen.

"The other major reason is to close off opponents. We will be collaborating on multiple projects this year. We are stronger this way as we can get access to Arnold family benefits and so can they to ours. No one will question us as we will be family. You know how some board members react to non family members receiving private benefits. I am building your future son."

"I can't get married. You know I can't. I don't mean to disrespect your decision or anything but I will not get married. You could have at least told me before spilling it to the media," I explained to him my thoughts running wild.

"It's not a life commitment Fred. One year only."

"One year can screw up my entire life, Dad."

"It won't. You have to go and get ready, son. We have a few hours left," he was avoiding eye contact. He looked calm but his eyes were much of a ruckus than mine.

Julius Malcolm was my everything. My dad. He had been part of every moment of my life and held my hand through the darkest phases ever.

Losing my mom five years ago to cancer when I was just twenty one was a blow to me because she was my everything. She was Dad's everything.

My mom had the solution to almost every problem in the world. She loved us both unconditionally. It was quite a hard blow for the two of us.

He always did what was best for me and I always tried my best to obey him at all times. This time it was different. This was not just a matter of my heart. Karen's heart was at stake too.

"You know I love Karen, Dad. We've been together for two years and I want to be with only her. She'll be my wife. She'll be the mother of my children. Your daughter-in-law, Dad. You already approved of our relationship."

I could feel my heart bleed and beat wildly. Karen was too perfect and fragile to handle the idea of me marrying another woman. I had promised that I'd marry her come hail come thunder.

"Karen Fletcher is the love of your life,that I know perfectly well and I have no objection to your relationship. You can marry her a year later. I made this decision after getting her consent."

"What? You talked to her about this?" I asked clearly shocked. I couldn't even imagine what she was going through.

"Fred, you don't have to develop feelings for the Arnold bride you'll marry. You just have to be her husband publicly. In private you guys can maybe settle for friendship and live your lives peacefully. This should be easy for you son."

"I'm disappointed in you, Dad. This is not the life I wanted to live," I admitted.

I didn't want to prolong this discussion. Dad had done a lot for me and right now he needed something from me desperately. I could tell he was hurting. I was hurting too. A hell lot. I had to leave his office immediately. I didn't want to say stuff I'd regret.

"I'll be there. I don't want a grand wedding."

"It's a small ceremony so don't worry. Fred I'm proud of you and I know you'll respect your wife. I'll let you calm down then we'll talk. Kyle has the details. He will fill you in."

I had nothing to say so I simply stood up and marched out. I was currently in an emotional rollercoaster. I needed to breathe. I needed to see my baby. I needed to know she was okay. Only she could give me strength to pull through.

I collapsed into my office chair and closed my eyes. I was frustrated. I left the door open. I had to think of the perfect words to tell Karen. I needed to see her urgently and hold her tight in my arms.

"Hey hey. Guess who's getting married tonight," Karen humoured walking in with his perfect smile plastered on. He had always been the carefree and bubbly type.

I had found more than a best friend in him. He was my brother. My day one.

"Drop it Karen. I surely don't need your nagging right now," I told him as he sat across me and crossed his legs. He looked like he had been busy.