The Sweet Obsession

Shivering, I sobbed out, unable to speak, unable to move. "Shh, shh, now babygirl, it's alright, you're safe, don't cry" he soothed, moving closer to me. "N-Noah, I w-want to go home," I sobbed, feeling weak from my inability to talk without stuttering.

A gasp left my parted lips as his hand forcefully connected with my cheek, "You are home, so I don't want to hear that crap from you, okay?" shaking, I looked down at my feet, his gaze too menacing to hold.

"I said, do you understand" he spit through clenched teeth, "y-yes, I'm sorry" I whispered, a new wave of tears making their appearance. "Good girl, now I need you to keep being a good girl, okay?" nodding, my eyes met his dark ones.

His form towered over me, making me feel small and irrelevant. "Words, Embry!" He demanded as I stuttered out a quiet yes. I studied him cautiously as he walked towards the far end of the room, shuffling through drawers before stalking back towards me and crouching down.

I sucked in a breath as I saw the knife in his hand, his face held a mischievous grin as it glinted in the light. "Now babygirl, you see, as much as I hate to, you need to be punished, do you know why?" His tone was condescending, telling me he wasn't really upset about 'having' to do anything.

"I-I'm not sure" I admitted, pressing my back against the wall to get as far away from him, which only provoked him to inch his face closer towards mine with every passing second. "That night when those bastards arrested me, they only came because you called them, isn't that right?" His jaw clenching at the mention of the police who saved me that night.

Registering the rest of the sentence my face scrunched in confusion, "n-no I didn't, my ph-my phone was dead, I promise" my eyes pleaded with him to believe me. His face turned cold as he muttered out two words, "wrong answer", and with that he grabbed my torso, yanking my top up enough to have access to my stomach.

Pain coursed through my body as he carved my stomach, an evil glint evident in his eyes. My pleading screams were the only sound that filled the silence in this empty room.

Shooting into a sitting position my eyes were wide with fear. It was just a dream. Sighing, I peeled my sweaty body from the bedsheets, trotting to the bathroom to wash off yet another nightmare of him.

Standing in front of the mirror, I lifted my shirt up, in search of the cut I had so vividly felt him taint my skin with. Running my fingers over the area I was sure it would lie, I shuddered as unpleasant tingles ran through my body at the contact of my fingertips and the unmarked skin. It always felt inhumanly real which was the worst part about my nightmares, because even though he wasn't here, he was everywhere.

After attempting to wash my fear and problems away I quickly dried myself, my stomach begging for food. Running downstairs a heavenly aroma hit my nostrils as I inhaled. Pancakes. Smiling, I called out for my parents, only to be met with silence. I had forgotten they had left to go to a wedding.

Rolling my eyes at my stupidity I walked into the kitchen, heading right for the microwave, which stored the now tepid plate of pancakes. Pulling out my phone I groaned at the list of missed calls I had from my parents, they were barely gone 2 hours and were already bombarding me with messages.

Of course I knew they had valid reasons, it had been today last year when the incident happened, but I insisted they went out and continued with their life. Hating that they put it on hold for me for almost a year after that night.

Laying my phone face down, I told myself I'd call them later, not having the energy now, still an uncomfortable feeling from that nightmare. Digging into the pancakes, my eyes widened as I remembered I had a session with Dr. Redmond in an hour. Who even has dumb therapy sessions on a Saturday anyway. Forgetting about the pancakes I rushed upstairs, changing into actual clothes and drying my hair.

Slipping into the car I began my journey. Humming along with the radio as my stomach cramped in knots, no matter how many times I had gone to talk to her a bubble of anxiety always seemed to be present on the day. Entering the building I smiled at the lady sitting across from me as I picked at the loose thread on my jumpers.

"Ah Embry darling, come on in and we can start" I jumped with fright slightly not having expected Dr. Redmond to have appeared so suddenly. My cheeks crimson at my weakness, I walked into her room and sat down on the bleak old arm chairs.

"So it's been a month since our last session, how have you been feeling" pushing her glasses up she readied her pen to take notes, an action that always intimidated me. "I-I've been fine" wincing at my stuttering, I sighed.

It was something I couldn't help, I was shy and wasn't very good at talking with people I didn't really know, especially about my feelings. "Mhm, and the nightmares, I know you haven't felt comfortable opening up about these things, but I can feel that today might be different" she smiled hopeful, guilt ate away at me.

Every session I've kept my words to a minimum not wanting to talk about him or what happened, I know it was worrying my parents and quite frankly Dr Redmond. She was a lovely woman who gave motherly vibes, I wanted to do it for her, I just didn't know how. "I had a-ehm a nightmare last night" I turned to focus on a poster on the wall.

"Would you feel comfortable telling me about it?" Gulping I tried to order the form of my sentences in my head. "It was, ehm, the same one I ge-get every night." Fisting my hand I internally screamed at myself to just speak properly. "Mhm, and what happened in the dream?" Clenching my teeth together I pulled at the string on my jumper.

"I was in this, ehm, room and it was, it was dark and cold and I just remember feeling really, really scared." Looking up I saw her staring intently edging me to continue."I felt like I was frozen, and that I- that I couldn't move. I was crying and he, he was there, he was shushing me and telling me it was okay. I told him that I wanted to go home and he slapped me" blinking away the upcoming tears I composed myself.

"Where did he slap you, Embry?" Dr Redmond interrupted, furiously scribbling on her paper. "On, on the face, he just kept getting angrier and said I had called the police that night but I didn't, I swear I didn't.

He didn't like that answer so he walked away and got a knife and started carving his name into my stomach and I woke up screaming and covered in sweat" letting out a shaky breath I felt better. "It just felt so real, like I could still feel it when I was awake" I admitted.

"Thank you so much for sharing that with me Embry, I know it isn't easy but I'm here to help you" smiling she leaned forward in her chair. "Now, do you think you would be comfortable telling me more about your and Noah's relationship" squirming in my seat, my mind was on a rampage where would I even start ?

The internal conflict visible on my face, "how about you tell me when you two first met" she suggested. "Okay, well, well we go to the" grimacing I corrected my mistake, "we went to the same school, I guess it started in kindergarten, we became immediate best friends and we just never drifted I suppose."

*Flashback*

Clutching her teddy close to her chest the small girl stood in the corner observing the brave other kids. Frowning with jealousy as they played and laughed together, they hadn't been here for more than 15 minutes and it seemed that everyone had made a friend except for her.

The nice looking teacher crouched down in front of her, setting her small form into a fit of nervou sness. "Hi sweetie, is that your teddy?" Her tone gentle, easing some of the nervousness present within the child. "Yes" she whispered feebly but just about loud enough for the woman to hear. "They are very cute, what is their name?" She held out her hand to stroke the fur of the bear. "His name is Mr. Fluffers" she inwardly smiled at her genius name picking skills.

"Well I think that is a dashing name for him, I think you and Mr. Fluffers should play on the mat together, standing must not be too comfortable". Warily the girl took a step forward, looking back up to see the woman nod encouragingly at her. Finding a corner of the mat to herself she plopped down, crossing her legs and sitting Mr. Fluffers ac

"Hi" he smiled gently, not wanting to further scare the girl. For the first time in this strange place nervousness wasn't her predominant emotion, but instead it was replaced with confusion. Confusion as to why the boy is sitting here and as to why he would want to talk to her, she had noticed him previously playing with other kids at the sandbox, which seemed a lot more fun than sitting on a mat.

"Hi" she meekly replied, clutching her teddy tighter, unaware with that one word she had begun her story, a story in which she would not want to be a part of. "I'm Noah, what's your name?" He scooted closer so their legs weren't too far apart but still at a comfortable enough distance for her. "Embry" her cheeks turning red at the newfound attention.

"Whoa, that's the coolest name I've ever heard, I've never met someone with that name" the boy grinned with excitement causing a giggle from the little girl. She decided this boy was nice and that she liked him, "do you maybe want to be friends?" She whispered out, nervousness once again bubbling up in her stomach.

"Yes, let's be bestest friends, come on, want to play with the sand box" and with that, they stayed true to their word, they became best friends.

*End of flashback*

"Yes, I see, that must have been a very close friendship, did you two have any other mutual friends?"

"Not really no, I was never great at making friends, I've always been a little shy and I guess I've never noticed before but I don't think he really liked when I talked to other people."

Crossing my legs I smiled at my newfound ability to talk about this with her without stuttering like a fool. I could see the interest swirling in her eyes, "in what way?"

"Anytime I would, eh, talk to the other classmates he would interrupt in some way and bring me away from the person and as we got older I guess it just got worse and he got a little aggressive, especially when it came to me talking to other boys. It was stupid of me not to notice, I thought it was just showing me he cared."

Looking at my lap I prepared myself for her upcoming judgment. It was understandable for a child to miss these signs but a teenager, I must have looked foolish in her eyes. The signs were all too obvious and I still failed to notice.

"A lot of people mistake it for that when the abuse is starting, it's nothing to be ashamed of" she reassuringly smiled, being able to see right through me. I'd like to say she could only do that because she was in this profession for a long time but I've been told by a lot of people I was easy to read which sucked especially when it came to lying.

"And has he ever physically laid his hands on you in any inappropriate or violent way before that night?" Sympathy clear in her eyes from having to ask the question, I'm sure my answer was evident by the way my body went rigid and my eyes wide.

If only she could see how I felt on the inside, my heart rate was rocketing as the muscles in my stomach convulsed. My lungs restricting in size as air failed to get to them, panic swirling throughout every nerve in my body.

The lump in my throat increased by the second, "I-, I'm so sorry I have to go, I forgot I left the oven on" and just as quickly as the words had left my mouth I had left the building. Driving out of there as quick as I could to assure Dr. Redmond wouldn't come out to check up on me.

Being a generous distance away from her office I pulled over, resting my head against the steering wheel, gripping the sides of the wheel to stop my shaking hands. Having finally collected myself after ten minutes , I began wiping the small surplus of tears from my face.

Continuing my journey home I couldn't help but grimace at how weak and stupid I must have looked to Dr. Redmond, I have had plenty of panic attacks like that since that night but never in front of anyone, not even my parents. I never wanted anyone to see me like that and now someone has and I just want to curl up into a ball and fade away.

The drive alone was grueling as the numbness expanded like a balloon in my stomach. The thought of the previous session made me want to scream and bash my head against the wall, I just seemed to get more and more pathetic with the days.

Sighing, I leaned against the front door, the action of turning the key made me feel too real, something I didn't want to be. Oh to just float away into the dark abyss and never have to deal with life again. Finally finding the energy to enter, the sight of the pancakes on the table deepened my frown, my appetite having long left my body with no sign of return.

Trudging up the stairs I felt my inner turmoil at the thought of having to do schoolwork. Oh well, you know what they say, if ever in a state of fragile mentality do homework. Letting myself dissociate from the horror of life I began working through the heaps of assignments.

So here we were, no more than two hours later, scrubbing down the tiles in the already spotless bathroom. "Yeah Embry, why don't you go back there and tell them all about your stress cleaning, not like you've made enough of a fool of yourself" I mumbled letting myself fall in a heap on the bathroom floor. It brought a sense of calmness over me, the cool feeling on my back as I laid in a starfish position.

It was as if laying on the floor was a safe space, no one can get you here if you're already at rock bottom, they have nowhere to bring you but up. The sound of my ringing phone slinged me away from whatever tranquility I had been in.

"Hi mom" I sighed, removing all the products I had been using from the bathroom. "Hi darling, how are you? Did you go to your appointment? How was it? You weren't answering your phone this morning is everything okay? We are on our way home now but if you need us to speed we will and get there as soon as we can? Maybe this wasn-'' pinching the bridge of my nose I quickly dumped the products in the cabinet.

"Yes mom, I'm fine, the appointment was fine, I woke up late and hadn't charged my phone and no you do not need to speed home, really" plopping onto the couch I awaited the lecture on the importance of always having my phone charged.

"Okay sweetie, I'm glad it went well, I'll be home in about 30 minutes, would you mind turning the oven on?" her voice made me nervous. It was sweet, too sweet, there was no scolding or disappointed sigh. Even against all my curiosity I dropped it, knowing if it was something bad, I'd want to wait the longest amount of time possible before knowing it. "Okay mom, see you soon then," I hung up before she got the chance to reply.

I guess my first couple hours of independence in a year was about to end, and how amazing it was for me to spend them in therapy, cleaning and finishing homework. Preheating the oven, I decided against lying on the floor again, knowing if one of my parents walked in on me like that they'd think I was in some state of insanity.

It had been awhile since I left my house with no destination in mind, so a walk might be nice. "He isn't out there, nothings going to happen, just get it together and go", bracing myself I threw myself out of the door and shut it before I could convince myself to ditch any plan of a walk.

I was allowing my feet to just move, not having the mental energy to map out a plan of where to go. And there I ended up, in the old park, sitting on the swings. It had been too long since I had been on the swings and it felt nice, I felt alive, for the first time in so long and he couldn't take this away from me. I wouldn't let him.

"You couldn't have known it would end up like this, there was nothing that could have been done.

...Right?" I mumbled letting the wind take my words with it.

*Flashback*

"Noah come onnnnn, we can't be late, it's our first day" the teenager whined, tugging the boy by his sleeve. "Calm down princess, we still have like 20 minutes until registration even starts" he smiled at her antics causing her to shy away, hoping he didn't catch the blush that graced her face from the pet name.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, I'm just really excited to see what classes we have" she jumped around having given up on the thought of speeding the boy up.

He smirked, knowing they would yet again, without fail, have the same classes as each other, this he made sure of.

"I know little bug, I'm sure no matter what they'll be awesome once we are together" he slung his arm around the smaller girl as she leaned into his touch.

"Obviously, I mean I'm just the best, so duh" she giggled. The hyperness building within her at the prospect of a new school year. Not that she had many close friends. She talked to everyone and got along with most but they were never more than an in classroom conversation or a question on the homework. Nothing like he was, someone she could go to for everything.

Making it to the school with just under 10 minutes left until class they took their seats beside each other, one in anticipation to see their schedule and the other just happy to have someone so amazing with him all the time.

"Who do you think will be the teacher for English, I hope it's not Mr. Peterson again, he wasn't that nice and oh no wait what if I have Ms. Rochester for French again, she always shouts and what if-" the rambling girl was cut off by the amused boy.

"Ems, are you by any chance nervous?" he raised his eyebrow, already knowing she was, after all he knew everything about her, he would even say he knew her better than she knew herself.

"Maybe" she mumbled, looking down and away from his burning gaze. "I know you tell me its stupid, but what if we aren't in the same classes, I don't really know many other people that well and then if there's assignments I'll have no partner and if there's homework-" grabbing her hand, he attempted to calm her nerves. "I've told you, they won't put us in different classes, it's me and you forever, okay?" he smiled sticking his pinky out for her to take.

It was such a simple thing, pinky promises, but they meant the world to the young girl, they were something she would never break, not in a million years.

It made the girl feel slightly guilty, it wasn't that she was so nervous about being apart from him, it was that she was ashamed of her yearning to possibly make friends by herself. She adored the boy but she never had the chance to talk to others properly and she had always dreamed of having a girl best friend.

Finally the schedules were handed out as the students' eyes raced through it, comparing schedules the boy's face fell. It gave away none of the fury he was feeling on the inside. "Oh, we don't have gym together, but that's okay, we have all the other classes together" the girl smiled.

"Yeah" he forced out, not losing the composure he had learned to master at a young age. "Well, I'll see you in biology" she waved, skipping away to the gym.

The hall still held its bland colour as the groups of teenager's crowded inside of it. Shyly walking out of the changing rooms, the girl was relieved to see the friendly face of the boy in her English class smiling at her. "Hi Derek" she smiled, "hey Embry, how was your summer?"

"It was really good, how was yours?" and for the next couple minutes they continued making conversation, relaxing into each other's company. Unaware of the brooding storm making his way towards them.

Feeling a yank on her arm, the young girl yelped being dragged to the opposite side of the hall. "Noah? You aren't meant to be in this class, what are you doing here?" she questioned, rubbing the side of her throbbing arm.

" I went to the office and they fixed the mistake" he smiled sickly sending glares in the way of the dumbfounded boy who the girl was previously conversing with. "Oh, okay, that's good but I should probably go back over to Derek, we were just talking about the new art room" she innocently blinked, unaware of the dangerous glint in his eyes that appeared at the sound of the other boy's name.

"No, it's fine, look he is already talking to someone else" he nodded in the direction of her old companion, proudly gleaming at the revelation. "Oh" she mumbled, the girl couldn't help the disappointment that filled her but soon enough it was long forgotten as the young boy took her mind off of it. Swept under the rug as so many other occurrences were when it came to him.

*End of flashback*

Snapping out of the thoughts that surrounded those bittersweet memories I trekked back home. Seeing both my mom and dad's car in the drive I wondered how long I had been out.

"Embry, oh sweetie, you're okay, thank goodness, where have you been?", shell shocked I couldn't do anything other than stand in the hallway. "I- a walk, why?" worry flitted through my body as I studied the pure look of panic on my mom's face.

"You weren't answering your phone and I, we just, I thought something happened when I saw you weren't here and your phone was lying on the table" she sighed, pressing her palm to her forehead.

"Embry, you know how important it is for you to tell us when you're leaving and to make sure you have your phone on you at all times" this time it was my father who stood disapprovingly in the kitchen watching me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise I left it here and I didn't think that-", "that's it exactly Embry you didn't think, have you any idea how worried we were" I grimaced at the raise in level of my father's voice. There was also something triggering about a man shouting at me.

Tears pricked at my eyes as I avoided their hard stare, "I'm sorry" I replied weakly. Finally meeting their gazes, my jaw clenched as I saw the pity swimming in their eyes. It irritated me how everyone looked upon me like some broken doll or injured child.

"Embry we need to talk to you about something" alarmed, my head shot up towards my mom, she wouldn't hold my gaze, resulting in the formation of a pit in my stomach.

"Sit down sweetie, this is important" my heart sounded in my ears as I placed myself across from my parents at the table.

"How much do we know about Noah's family?" my mom asked, her voice gentle as if I was about to break. My restless fingers played with the edge of the table, "I, ehm, I" trying to clear the shrill piercing sounds of my thoughts I felt my composure slipping.

"Hey, it's okay, take your time" my dad placed his hand on mine, comforting me in one sense but in another sending me into a state of panic, needing to stop him from feeling how shaky my hands were, I abruptly pulled away. "Yeah, I'm fine I just, I didn't expect the question" I gulped knowing anyone would be able to see past my lie.

"He lived with his aunt because his mother wanted him to go to a public school, he visited his family every summer but he never really talked much about them and occasionally talked about his mom" I spit out, those words burning my tongue.

"Darling, we got a call today, from the attorney we hired during the court case against Noah" my mom hesitated, unsure of how to continue as I felt cold pricks at my nerves.

"We never met the man, but the father of that stupid son of a-", "Edward please" my mom scolded. "Right, sorry, Noah's dad seems to be an extremely rich and powerful man and I can't understand why he is only appearing now, I mean really it makes no sense, as if he-".

"Dad, please just spit it out" I exclaimed, my head getting light and fuzzy. "They've managed to get parole" he sighed, as both of them stared intently at me, waiting for my breakdown.

"I don't understand", "he's getting out of jail, we aren't sure exactly when but it could be any day now" my mom gently smiled. My mind was spinning, everything was going too fast, how was that possible, it shouldn't have been. It couldn't be happening.

"That's not possible, he still has five years, there was no parole offered" the desperation seeped from my voice. "I know, our attorney said there was nothing we could do except extend the restraining order, you know what people can do with money, I'm so sorry, but I promise we won't let anything happen."

All the words went in through one ear and out the other as I bolted from my chair into my room. I knew what was about to come and no matter what, no one would see me like this, in such a vulnerable state.

Clawing at my jumper I tried to pull it off, every touch of the fabric on me felt confining, I was too warm, too restricted. Ripping my clothes off I fell to the ground in nothing but my underwear gasping for air to enter my lungs. The sobs rang through my room as I pleaded with my lungs to allow me air, my fingers wouldn't stop shaking and it all felt too much. 5 things I see. 5 things I see. I couldn't remember how to focus, I was too desperate to calm down. Too panicked to do anything but curl in a ball rushing shallow breaths in and out.

He was out now, and this was only the beginning to my end. Even if he didn't come for me I would never be able to escape the fear he instilled in me.

I lay there for I'm not sure how long, just until the pain stopped. I didn't think it ever would but it did. I had no energy to move so I remained still, the goosebumps rising from the cold air hitting against my bare skin.

"I'll be back Embry, you and me forever, remember?"

My thoughts were a dangerous thing but then again they were the things that kept me sane throughout the past year. I had no one, my parents were amazing and I'm so grateful for them but I could never talk to them about anything. It was just the dynamics of our relationship and it never affected me until now because I had Noah.

He could always tell when something was wrong and we always had this connection that I knew was special, I suppose that's why I've allowed this to affect me so much.

But, I've allowed him to get to me, his last words before he was taken away keep spinning around my mind, the echoes of his unfulfilled promises to get back to me now becoming the bone chilling reality I was so scared to come to terms with.

"Embry, sweetie, can I come in?" my mom's gentle tone wafted through the door, "yeah one minute mom". Grabbing the blanket I covered my body, wrapping myself securely in its protection just before she came in.

"Hi, I know you probably aren't in the mood to eat but I thought to let you know that the food is ready, if not it's fine, but you could take a bath that would be nice right?" Sighing, I approached her and threw my arms around her frame, I knew she needed the comfort I had always seeked.

"Yeah, I think I might just have a bath and then go to sleep, I'll make sure to come to you if I have any problems, I'm fine, I promise" I smiled, lying so sweetly through my teeth. Although lying had never been my strong suit I had perfected the art of showing my parents what they wanted to see.

"That's great Embry, I'll be downstairs if you need anything", nodding I shut the door after her. Slinging my dirty clothes from the floor into the hamper I slumped against the bathroom door as I listened to the water run.

Shutting my eyes I let the noise consume my mind, no thoughts, they cost too much emotional payment. Satisfied with the temperature I slid into the bath letting my worries and fears soak with me and melt away with the heat.

Pruney and clean, I dried myself off wrapping the towel firmly around me as I exited the bathroom.

"I missed you little bug", my breath caught in my throat. I looked up to see him there on my bed. Blinking in disbelief I waited for him to disappear and for my imagination to be playing a trick on me.

"N-noah?" I whimpered, a burning sensation running through my system at the thought of the situation. I stood frozen as he stalked towards me, "yeah baby, I'm back and I missed you so much" his eyes were darker than I remembered.

Fighting to find words to say I couldn't find it in myself to do anything other than watch him move closer to me with my mouth agape. "Shh, take your time, I know you're shocked" he brings his hand towards me as I violently flinch back releasing whines.

"You, you can't be here, you need to l-leave" and like that I was back to my stuttering. "They can't stop me from seeing you Embry, I won't let them" his gentle smile turned into a hard grimace as I realised my mistake.

"I can't stay for long, and you can't tell anyone about me being here, you know that right," he warned as I picked up on his threatening tone.

I gripped the towel inhumanely tight as my hands quivered, stepping back as he got impossibly close to me, "you aren't going to tell anyone Embry, unless you want me to hurt people, you don't want that do you, especially with you family being so very close right now" he smirked.

Aggressively shaking my head, I screamed at myself to talk, or scream for help or even move. I needed to do something but it seemed like all my functioning had been shut off. "You know what I feel about you not verbally answering little bug" he brought his arm up beside my head, encasing me against the wall that blocked my getaway. "I-I won't tell any, anybody" I gulped, his posture frightening. He was relaxed and tense at the same time.

I was trying anything I could to avoid looking into his eyes because they would remind me of too much, too many things I couldn't risk feeling right now. Distracting myself I noted his hair was longer, it still looked nice much to my dismay, he had always looked nice and it was terrible. Why couldn't bad people look as bad on the outside as they were on the inside.

"Staring are we, princess?" he teased as my cheeks flared with colour, "n-no I, I wasn't, I-", "shh, I know, I'm just teasing Embry" he genuinely smiled.

And for that moment I had forgotten our situation because his smile seemed so real. So Noah like, so comforting, I just wanted us to go back to the old us when everything wasn't so messy. But, it couldn't go back to that and it never would.

"You smell so good" he leaned in closer and I stiffened, I recoiled as he began to sniff my hair making me feel a whole other level of uncomfortable. "Gosh prison was terrible, but I'm out now and everything is going to go as it should have" trailing light kisses down my bare shoulder, I felt like throwing up.

The tears fell as he continued down my arm and to my hand, finishing on my finger tips and throughout all the discomfort, any of the words I wished to speak got caught in my throat, lodging themselves into the surrounding tissues.

"What's wrong little bug, why are you crying?" His eyes held concern and it all seemed too human like for my brain to comprehend. "I don't, I'm not, I only, towel" I rushed out, none of it making sense as I choked back the bile crawling up my throat.

"Of course, go get dressed, I'll be out here okay" he released his hold on me somehow understanding what I was failing at saying as I scurried away. Not brave enough to try to make it to the door, I silently obeyed him and got clothes from my drawers. I could feel his heavy stare with every little movement I made. Locking myself in my bathroom, I exhaled heavily, relief of being free from his grasp bursting throughout my cells.

I tried to waste as much time getting dressed as I could as I tried to come up with a solution, but all of them ended up with someone getting hurt and I couldn't even stomach the thought of someone being harmed because of me, especially with my parents in such easy access to him.

Realising I couldn't milk anymore time from this escape I had to just go out and face him and try not to be as helpless as I was before. "Ah there you are" his voice was enough to dissolve any confidence I had built up in the bathroom, turning me into a shaking anxious mess.

I stared wide eyed as I saw him flipping through the scrapbook of our photos. It was stupid of me to keep it but I wasn't ready to let my whole childhood go like that. "Remind me to take this with us" he studied the photos mindlessly as I pushed myself as far into the wall facing him as I could.

"Take this with us, where?" I skeptically voiced, a small part of me filled with triumph at my proper speech but the other part of me knowing it was only because I trailed the sentence out for a couple seconds longer than necessary. "To our home" he lifted his head to meet my eyes as I froze. "Our h-home" my voice quivered.

"Well, we can't be together here, so I'm taking you away, obviously" he deadpanned as if it was the most obvious thing. "N-no, you can't, I won't" I was too stunned for words. My stomach felt heavy and I hated the feeling of anxiety but it kept increasing every time he opened his mouth.

Slamming the book closed, he stormed towards me, catching me off guard as I prayed to disappear into the wall. Grabbing my jaw, he forced my face forward, facing him. "You don't get a choice on the matter, I'm already pissed about last year but I've decided not to blame you, so don't make me mad or it won't end well" he seethed.

His voice dripped with venom as his hold on me got tighter, using his body to crush me painfully against the wall I let out distressed sobs. The selfish part of me wished my mom or dad would come and check on me but they knew that I liked my space and wouldn't dare disturb me until morning. "I'm sorry" I whimpered, feeling exposed under his glare. "You're mine, and you don't get to disrespect me, you understand that right?" he spit, pressing his forehead against mine as I tried to struggle out of his grip.

"Y-yes, I, I understand, I-Im sorry" I pleaded for relief from this death grip he had me in. "Good girl" he beamed as his lips met my forehead. I let my weight sag against his form as he dropped the pressure he had on me. Even holding myself up seemed too draining at this point.

"Now, come lie with me for a little before I have to leave" he sweetly smiled, leaving me defenseless against the wall I watched as he got himself comfy on my bed. "Embry" he warned as my body jumped into action, rushing over to his side I dropped my head in shame as he chuckled.

"Awh, no I'm sorry little bug, I wasn't laughing at you" he reassured, as if I didn't already know it was because of how pathetic I was. "Okay" I whispered as I let my body go limp against his after he forced my form down against his on the bed.

I was laying on his chest as his fingers ran through my hair, his other hand securely wrapped around my back, limiting any possibility of escape, as if I had enough courage to even try. Unwillingly my body relaxed against his as the soothing feel of a head massage draped over me.

He knew it was a weakness of mine and used it against me, his content sigh was almost enough to have me swing at him but I was too tired, I was too ashamed of myself for being so weak. I never thought being a people pleaser would lead to such drastic events, even if he was psychotic there was something about the thought of someone being upset with me that didn't sit right.

Against all sensible reasoning, I let myself be lulled to sleep. Occasionally feeling his lips graze against the top of my head as I drifted in and out of consciousness.