The Sin Between Us

I was fifteen when I first noticed Lucas as more than just my cousin. Before then, he was just another familiar face at family gatherings, someone I'd see during holidays, playing soccer with the boys or laughing with the uncles. But that year, something changed. Lucas had always been around. Since he was three years older than me, he was already in college while I was stuck in high school, counting down the years until I'd have that same freedom. He didn't visit all the time, but whenever he did, he had a way of making his presence known.

Maybe it was the way he carried himself confident, relaxed, like he didn't have to try too hard. That summer, he came to stay with us for a few weeks. His parents had traveled, and since our families were close, my dad insisted he spend the break at our house. I didn't think much of it at first. It was normal, Lucas staying over wasn't new. Hi, I'm Ava. I'm fifteen, and like most teenagers, I'm trying to figure out who I am and where I belong. I come from a well-to-do family, full of traditions and expectations, where every gathering feels like a carefully choreographed dance. Yet, beneath all that polish, I carry secret feelings I've been taught to hide. Even now, as I navigate the ups and downs of adolescence, I find myself caught between what I'm expected to feel and what my heart truly whispers especially when it comes to someone I shouldn't be drawn to. I've always believed that being sensible meant keeping my emotions in check, but lately, I'm learning that some feelings refuse to be silenced. As I stand at the brink of new beginnings, I can't help but wonder if this is just another challenge I'm meant to overcome, or if it might be the start of something entirely unexpected. But one evening changed everything. I had gone to the backyard to get some fresh air. The house was too noisy, my little cousins were running around, my aunts were chatting loudly, and I just needed a moment to breathe. I stood there, watching the sunset, when I heard footsteps behind me.

"Escaping the chaos?" Lucas's voice was warm, amused.

I turned to find him leaning against the doorframe, watching me with that easy smirk of his. His dark hair was a little messier than usual, and the way the golden light hit his face made something in my stomach tighten. I had never felt like this before. Not for him. Not for anyone.

"You too?" I replied, trying to act normal, even though my heart had started racing.

He walked toward me, hands in his pockets, casual but effortlessly cool. "I needed air. Your house is wild."

I laughed. "Tell me about it. Aunt Rita hasn't stopped talking about her new business since she got here."

Lucas chuckled, standing beside me now. We were quiet for a while, watching the sky shift from orange to deep blue. The silence wasn't awkward. If anything, it felt... comfortable.

"You've changed," he said suddenly, his voice thoughtful.

I looked up at him. "What do you mean?"

He tilted his head, as if studying me. "I don't know... You're not the little girl I used to tease anymore."

His words sent a strange shiver through me. I should've rolled my eyes, laughed it off like I always did. But instead, I felt my cheeks warm.

"Well, I'm fifteen," I said, crossing my arms. "I'm not a kid anymore."

Lucas smirked. "I can see that."

The way he said it made my breath hitch. It wasn't flirtatious, not exactly, but there was something in his tone, something different. For the first time, I saw Lucas in a way I wasn't supposed to. He wasn't just my cousin who visited sometimes. He was... Lucas. I didn't know what to do with that realization.

"Anyway," I said quickly, looking away. "Are you excited to go back to school?"

He shrugged. "Kind of. College is exhausting, though. You'll see when you get there."

"I doubt it. I think I'll love the freedom."

Lucas laughed, shaking his head. "You always did like doing things your way."

"Obviously." I smiled, glad for the shift in conversation. But even as we talked about other things, his classes, my school life, random family gossip, I couldn't shake the strange new feeling inside me.

That night, as I lay in bed, I found myself thinking about the way Lucas had looked at me. About the way my heart had raced when he stood close. I knew it was wrong. I knew it didn't make sense. But that was the moment it started, the moment I realized that maybe, just maybe, I was falling for Lucas. And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

Lucas didn't notice. Or maybe he did, but he never gave me a reason to think he saw me any differently. After that evening in the backyard, I became more aware of him, of everything about him. The way he ruffled his hair when he was deep in thought. The lazy way he stretched in the morning. The way he leaned back on the couch, scrolling through his phone like nothing in the world could bother him. But to him, I was still just Ava. His younger cousin. The kid he used to tease. It drove me crazy. I started looking forward to the small moments.

The times he'd pat my head absentmindedly when he passed by. The way he'd laugh at my jokes, even when they weren't funny. I held onto those little things, twisting them into something bigger than they were, convincing myself they meant something. But Lucas? Lucas went on with his life. One evening, I was in the living room, pretending to be busy on my phone while secretly watching him. He was sitting on the floor, flipping through a book he'd brought from school. I wanted to say something.... anything to make him look at me. But before I could, my mom walked in. "Lucas, your dad just called," she said. "You should start getting ready. You're leaving in two days." My heart dropped. Lucas barely looked up. "Yeah, he told me already." I froze. Two days? He was leaving in two days? I don't know why it hit me so hard. It wasn't like he was moving to another country. But the thought of not seeing him for months, maybe longer, made my stomach twist. I forced myself to act normal. "Where are you going?" "Back to school first," he said, closing his book. "Then I might do an internship somewhere. Not sure yet." I nodded, gripping my phone tighter. "Sounds fun." He smirked. "You sound like you don't believe that." "I mean, I wouldn't call working fun." Lucas chuckled. "You'll get there soon enough, kid."

Kid. That stupid word made my chest ache. But I smiled anyway, acting like it didn't matter. Like I wasn't secretly counting down the hours until he left.

The night before his departure, the house was quiet. My parents had gone to bed, and I was in the kitchen, pouring myself a glass of water when I heard footsteps behind me. "You're still up?" I turned to see Lucas leaning against the doorway. He looked tired but in a relaxed way, his hair slightly messy. "I couldn't sleep," I admitted, sipping my water. Lucas walked in, grabbing an apple from the counter. "You're acting weird today." I tensed. "No, I'm not." He raised an eyebrow. "You were quiet all evening. That's not normal for you." I shrugged, looking away. "Just thinking." Lucas took a bite of his apple. "About what?" I hesitated. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to say, I don't want you to leave. But the words stuck in my throat. Instead, I sighed. "Nothing important." He studied me for a moment, then shrugged. "Alright, if you say so." That was it. No deep conversation. No moment of realization on his part. He just ate his apple, completely unaware of the war going on inside me. And that's when I knew whatever I felt for him, it was one-sided. Lucas didn't see me the way I saw him. He never had. And in two days, he'd be gone. I forced a smile. "Goodnight, Lucas." "Night, Ava." I turned and walked away, swallowing the lump in my throat. If this was how things were meant to be, I had no choice but to accept it. For now. I didn't cry. Not when I woke up and heard my mom saying he'd be leaving by noon. Not when I watched him zip up his bag like it was just another trip. And definitely not when I stood outside, hands stuffed in my hoodie pockets, pretending I wasn't memorizing his face. His dad honked from the driveway. Lucas sighed, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. "Guess that's my cue." My parents were already giving their goodbyes. My mom hugged him like he was her own son. My dad patted his shoulder, telling him to stay focused. And then it was my turn. I forced a grin. "Try not to work too hard." Lucas smirked. "No promises." We stood there for a second, and I wondered if he'd hug me. He always did when he came back after long trips. But this time, he just reached out and ruffled my hair. Like I was still twelve. Like I wasn't standing there, heart breaking in ways he'd never understand. And then he was gone. I stood in the driveway long after the car had disappeared, staring at the empty space it left behind. He didn't look back.

Lucas left, and life went on.

At first, I counted the days. One week. Two weeks. A month. But he never called. Never texted. Not even a simple How are you? The silence stretched longer and longer, filling the spaces where he used to be. I hated how much it bothered me. So, I forced myself to move on. I threw myself into school, making sure my grades were perfect. I joined a few clubs, went out with friends more often, and did everything I could to keep my mind occupied. It worked... sort of. The days blurred together, and soon, months turned into a year, then two. Before I knew it, I was preparing for college, filling out applications, and worrying about what came next. Lucas became a memory I didn't talk about, a phase I convinced myself I had outgrown. But deep down, I knew the truth. I never really stopped thinking about him.

Stepping onto the college campus felt surreal. The towering buildings, the endless buzz of students moving from one place to another, the crisp scent of fresh possibilities in the air, it was overwhelming but exciting. This was my new beginning. No more high school constraints, no more childhood dependencies. I was officially on my own.

Dragging my suitcase behind me, I navigated through the crowd, occasionally glancing at the map on my phone to locate the dormitories. The reality of being away from home fully settled in as I walked through the hallways of my assigned dorm. Room 207. My new home for the next few years. I hesitated for a second before pushing the door open. The sight before me made me smile. One girl was sprawled across her bed, scrolling through her phone with an easy familiarity, while another was kneeling in front of an open wardrobe, aggressively stuffing in what seemed like an entire boutique's worth of clothes.

The girl on the bed sat up immediately, flashing me a warm grin. "Oh, you must be Ava," she said, swinging her legs off the bed. "I'm Favour. And that fashion disaster over there is Gift."

"Excuse me?" Gift shot her a playful glare before turning to me with an exaggeratedly dramatic sigh. "She's just jealous because I actually have a sense of style."

I chuckled, dragging my suitcase further into the room. "Nice to meet you both."

Favour patted the bed beside her. "Come, sit. We were just debating whether it's possible to survive on instant noodles for an entire semester."

I laughed as I sat down, already liking their dynamic. "Well, that depends. Do we count malnutrition as a survival skill?"

We all burst into laughter, the tension melting away in an instant.

Gift flopped onto her bed, groaning dramatically. "If I flunk out of school, it'll be because of bad food choices."

Favour tossed a pillow at her. "No, it'll be because you're too busy planning your outfits instead of studying."

Gift sat up and flicked her hair dramatically. "Excuse you, but fashion is an art. And in case you didn't know, artists are intellectuals."

I found myself grinning as I unpacked my things. It had only been a few minutes, but I could already tell these two were going to be my people.

The next day, with my backpack slung over one shoulder, I stepped out into the crisp morning air, mentally preparing for my first class. I had mapped out the route last night, but the overwhelming size of the campus made navigation much trickier in daylight. Groups of students chatted animatedly, others rushed past in a hurry, and some looked just as lost as I felt. I walked briskly, my eyes darting between the buildings and my phone's map, trying to make sense of where I was supposed to go. Then....

Crash!

Books went flying. My phone nearly slipped from my grasp, and I stumbled back, barely managing to steady myself. The force of the collision had knocked the air from my lungs, and for a second, I could only blink at the boy standing in front of me, rubbing his shoulder as if he had just walked into a wall. Even with how mad I was, I couldn't help but notice how striking he was. His dark, tousled hair fell perfectly over his forehead, framing a face that was both rugged and refined. His warm brown eyes, steady and clear like a calm lake, held an almost magnetic allure, drawing me in despite the awkwardness of our bumping into each other. Even the way his lips curved into a subtle, amused smile spoke of a quiet confidence that made him undeniably handsome. In that fleeting moment, his natural charm and effortless grace left me completely captivated, a stark contrast to my own clumsy haste.

"Oh, sorry about that," he said, crouching down to pick up the books that had scattered across the pavement. "Didn't see you there."

I took a slow breath, trying to shake off the impact. "Maybe if you weren't walking like you owned the entire campus, you would have."

He looked up at me, one brow arching slightly. He had an air of confidence that instantly irked me.

Smirking, he handed me my books. "Not my fault you were staring at your phone."

I huffed, snatching the books from his hands. "Whatever."

Without another word, I turned and walked away, feeling his gaze still on me. I didn't bother looking back.

The rest of the day was a blur of introductions, class syllabi, and trying to remember where each building was. By the time I got back to my dorm, I was exhausted. Favour and Gift were lounging on their beds, deep in a conversation about something that involved exaggerated hand gestures and dramatic sighs.

"Survived your first day?" Favour asked, rolling onto her stomach.

"Barely," I muttered, kicking off my shoes and flopping onto my bed.

Gift propped herself up on her elbows. "Any cute guys in your classes?"

I scoffed. "I ran into one, but he was annoying."

Favour grinned. "That's how it starts."

I threw a pillow at her. "Not happening."

She and Gift exchanged knowing looks, but I ignored them.

I had bigger things to worry about than some arrogant guy on campus.

At least, that's what I told myself.