The Pains of Guilt (WTAH #2)

Third-person POV

Three years have passed since Twilight had last seen Takumi. It was bad enough that she was hurt by her mate. Again. But this time, someone decided that her life wasn't enough of a mess, and she was pregnant.

In the end, she decided to keep it, which wasn't a bad thing per se because sooner or later, she'd need an heir, which saved her the trouble of IVF rounds. Plus, she highly doubted that she'd be blessed with a third mate to have pups with because things are supposed to work with the first or second mate. She also wasn't keen on being blessed with another one either. And as ridiculous as it sounds, Tis also gave up on the idea of a mate and she was inactive for a whole month. All the poor wolf wanted more than anything was a mate, not an arm and a leg.

She didn't tell anyone the whole story. She had only said that things between them didn't work out and that it just wasn't meant to be. The only person who knew was Mitsuri, and she promised not to tell. Her dad too and Etsuko, being an Oracle and all.

She loves her pack and all, but she found it a tiny bit irritating receiving all that sympathy, more so from the she-wolves. She appreciated the support, but she wasn't one to look for sympathy from others.

Her dad and friends helped her throughout the entire pregnancy, and after 28 more weeks, the pup was born. As much as she was born three weeks early, she was a healthy baby.

And yes, the pup is a girl. A sweet, adorable, little angel who, unfortunately, got her looks from her father, except for her eyes and hair. The sort of relieving thing was that her hair was black, so at least, she'll feel less out of place later on. Twilight named her Natsumi, and as for Youhei's pup, he came about two months later.

After a while, Mitsuri tried hooking her up with other guys because she didn't have a mark and that technically made her an unmated wolf. But she turned every one of them down without hesitation.

And no, she didn't tell him that he's a father. She also made Ichiya swear on his life that he wouldn't say anything, which Etsuko wasn't too happy about when she found out. His parents do know though, but only because she decided to tell them a few weeks before she was born. She figured that they, at least, should know, and they do come over from time to time. They promised to keep it a secret even though they tried to convince her otherwise a few times.

She was and still is completely fine with coming across as being bitter. She was doing fine as a single parent and determined to keep it that way.

Twilight POV

I was out visiting a faraway pack with Mitsu. Natsumi was restless, even with the minion plushie she can't live without, so I had to bring her along.

On the way back, I stopped at a nearby gas station to stretch my legs and use the restroom.

"Mitsu, can you grab some snacks with Natsumi? I don't think the ones left will last her long. You can take my purse. There should be some cash in it, otherwise, feel free to use any one of the cards."

"Got it."

Just as I was heading back to the car, I bumped face-first into someone and landed on my ass. I wish I had looked where I was going.

"I'm sorry, miss. I didn't see you there." Someone said and helped me up.

"It's ok. I wasn't looking where I was going."

As if embarrassing myself wasn't enough, Tis kept the words "mine" and "mate" ringing in my ears. I did feel those little sparks during that brief moment of contact and his strangely familiar scent was drawing me in a little... hell no. Not today or ever. Seriously, who the hell is out to get me?

"Anyway, I really should get going. And it's doctor, not miss."

I darted away before I gave in to the temptation of looking at him. Hopefully, I'd never run into him again. I don't know what he looks like so I might, but I'd instead take those chances.

Sorry bro, it's not you... on second thought, it might be in the future, so I'd rather not risk it. I promised myself that I'd never let Tis get hurt again after she pretty much disappeared for a month, and I plan on keeping that promise, even if there's a chance that she'll whine at me for this.

Thank Goddess Mitsuri came back right after I got into the car.

"We got a lot more snacks than planned. Are you ok? You seem a little shaken."

"I'm fine, but can you take over the driving?"

"Sure."

I put Natsumi on my lap. It'll just make opening and handing her the snacks a lot easier.

We weren't even on the road for five minutes when...

"Mama, can I go thewe?" Natsumi pointed to a park.

We weren't in a hurry to get back, so I didn't see why not.

"Ok."

"I think you guys can get off here. I'll look for parking in the meantime."

I took Natsumi with me and unleashed her to play as much as she wanted. Mitsu joined me after a while.

We'd been here for over an hour when some guy walked up to us. Thankfully, he wasn't my so-called mate.

Before he could say anything, Natsumi came running up to me.

"Mama, when Papa coming?"

He's not coming, and she knows that too. Hell, she's never even met him.

"He said he'd be here soon." I turned to the random guy. "Did you need something?"

"Never mind," He walked away.

"Did good, Mama?"

"Yes."

I don't know how she knew what would happen or if it was just a coincidence. Either way, I'm glad she did that.

We were heading back to the car when I was stopped by a familiar voice.

"Twilight? OMG, long time no see."

It was Sora.

"Oh hey. How's it going?"

"In short, adulting sucks, and I wish I was still a..."

Then she noticed Natsumi. Great.

"Hold on, is she your..."

"Yeah."

"I can't believe I have a cute, little niece."

"Hi," Natsumi said.

"Hi. She looks a lot like him. You don't have to answer, but does he know about her? I find it hard to believe that he'd hide something like this."

"He doesn't."

"Oh. I don't mean any disrespect, but whatever beef you guys have with each other shouldn't involve your kid. At least let him."

"I'll think about it." Not. "It was nice seeing you though."

"You, too. Oh, and before you leave, is it ok if I see her sometimes? I'd love to get to know her."

"Sure. I don't have much going on this weekend, so we can meet up if you have time."

"That'll be perfect."

She left after we exchanged numbers.

"I know that as your friend, I'm supposed to be on your side, but she's not wrong," Mitsu said. "I think you should tell him. You can't hide this forever."

"I did say I'd think about it."

"We both know that's a lie."

When we got back, Etsuko wanted to see me.

"Twilight, I have two messages for you. One, choose wisely, and two, you're not forsaken."

"The vagueness isn't helping anyone."

"I just get messages and deliver them to whomever they're for. Meanings aren't included. I'll try to find out more and let you know."

"That'd be great."

"By the way, Ichiya and I were thinking of taking Natsumi to play in the snow. Would that be ok? We're taking Katashi too."

"Sure. Just make sure she doesn't take her jacket off."

Later...

"Alex, don't you think it's time you give your people a Queen?" I asked. "You're about to be 25, don't you already have someone in mind?"

"Shouldn't you give your people their Emperor?"

"Touché. But I'm serious."

"So am I." He took my hands in his. "How about you be my Queen?"

"Uh...you're kidding...right?"

I mean, he has to be. There's no way he's serious, right?

"No, and I don't see why not."

"Uhm...I'm flattered but you do know that I have a child, right?"

"What's the problem with that?"

"I guess from a logical perspective, I thought you wouldn't be too keen on the idea of raising another man's child. And to be honest, that's the line I've been using to turn away guys who ask me out. Believe it or not, it works."

"I'm not most men, and I don't mind. Even if you had kids with thirty different men, it'd be a little weird, but it also wouldn't change my mind. And that's because it won't change who you are, and I happen to like who you are. I won't pressure you, but please consider it."

I mean, he's not wrong. The last time I trusted a guy who told me something similar to that, I ended up mateless and pregnant. I've known Alex long enough to know that he wouldn't do something like that, but that's exactly what I thought last time and again, look where that got me.

"I'll think about it. But I should warn you that you might end up hurt because I don't believe in love anymore, and it's dead to me. It's too much of a hassle as well as troublesome and complicated. And honestly, I'm better off without it. I'm saying it not to chase you away but so that you won't take it personally when I don't return your feelings. I know there's someone out there who'll give you all the love and affection that you deserve and more, and I'm sorry, but it's not me. For all you know, she might be closer than you think, and I don't want to take that away from her, or him. I won't judge."

"I guess I'll think about that too. Anyway, I should get going." He said before leaving.

"Why didn't you accept it?" Mitsu asked. "We all know how smitten he is towards you, and he's done a terrible job of hiding it. And I think you've been single long enough."

"It's not about being single, you know."

"If he had a problem with you already having a pup, he wouldn't have made you that offer. And it's not like it'll complicate things between your pups. Natsumi will take over after you since she's your firstborn, and your secondborn, aka his firstborn, will take over after him. See, no complications. Natsumi already likes him, and you also deserve to be happy."

"I said I'd think about it, and you're already thinking about kids. You have a serious problem; you know that?"

"I'm just looking out for the Alpha as Betas should."

"Sky and I can barely keep up." Ayaka came in.

"Baby troubles?"

"It always is. I know it's only been a few weeks, but I feel like I'm going to have a mental breakdown at any second. Any chance you have a baby translator lying around?"

"Unfortunately, no."

"Too bad. You don't mind if I pass out on the couch, right?"

"Go ahead."

"Thank you."

Twilight POV

Sora and I met up at a park.

"I can't get over how precious she is. What's her name?"

"Natsumi. She's turning two in August."

"She's even more precious now. You better watch out because I might kidnap her one day," She joked.

"Short Stuff, funny running into you here,"

Seriously, who else, that I know, will pop up? I have nothing against Hansuke, but still.

"Speaking of, since when did you start babysitting?" He asked Sora.

"Technically, it's not babysitting if the mom is next to me."

"You mean..." He turned to me. "Since when? And how come no one thought to tell me?"

"About that, Takumi doesn't know," Sora explained. "I tried to tell her to change that though."

"I don't mean to overstep, but I'm with Sora on this one. I think he should know."

"See? I told you."

"All right all right. I'll tell him if it means you two will stop whining about it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to take her home. It's past her nap time, and she gets very restless if she doesn't take her nap," I got up to leave.

Third-person POV

"She's not going to do it, is she?" Sora sighed

"It doesn't look like she's changed her stubborn ways, so probably not."

"Good thing I've come up with something."

"Should I even ask?"

"You'll see tomorrow."

Twilight POV

When we got home, I went upstairs to put Natsumi in her crib.

"Mama?" She asked just when I tucked her in.

"Yes, my love?"

"Does I have a papa?"

Ah, crap. I could lie and say no, but it won't accomplish anything. She'll find out at some point.

"Yes. Why?"

"Just wanna know if exists."

It's funny how she knows the word "exists", but she can't form proper sentences.

"He does, but it's just...he's away."

And as heartless as it sounds, I hope it stays that way.

"He dead?"

"No no, honey, he's not. He's just away all. If it makes you feel better, you can think of me as both your mama and papa."

"Oh, ok."

"But you have your grandpa, yeah?"

"Nah, Pop-pop too old."

I snorted at that. She really is her mother's daughter.

"I guess he is."

"But Mama if I has a mama and papa and gwammy and gwampy and pop-pop, what about gwan gwan?"

"I'll take you to see her another time, ok?" I kissed her forehead.

"Ok."

"That's enough questions for today, you need to get your sleep."

"Ok," She closed her eyes. "I hopes Papa big and stwong like Pop-pop, so he pwotect me and Mama like other papas when comes back," She said in her sleep.

I won't lie. That tore me up on the inside a little. Maybe I should let him know. But that'll mean she'll want to know why we're not together, and I'd rather she remains clueless about it. I think I should start coming up with half-truths.

I sighed and walked out of the room. I found Etsuko already waiting for me.

"Did you find any more information?"

"Yeah, but I'm not sure what they mean. Although, I think you might."

"Ok, let's hear it."

"About the whole choose wisely thing, I saw three guys, but they were silhouetted, so I couldn't see what they looked like. You were tied to each of them but belonged to none. One of those ties was severed but is repairing itself, one was breaking, but something is holding it together. I'm not sure what though. I'm also not sure what's going on with the third one. The only thing I saw for the second message is a silhouette of a woman watching over you. That's about it. In my opinion, it sounds like things are about to get complicated."

"Believe me, it's already begun."

Later, Sora asked me to meet up at her place, so I guess I have plans tomorrow.